ocd fear

First off I want to point, that when you mind is out of control it uses everything against you. For example the Bible verse about evil thoughts, blasphemies, etc coming from an evil heart is talking about people who genuinly have evil thoughts or blaspheme God or Jesus Christ. How do you know what category you are? Well if it bothers you then they aren't genuine. Their are people who actually blaspheme God and don't care, I know because they are everywhere. And Their are people who have evil thoughts, invite them in and entertain them. This I also know because I use to be like that. When I had evil thoughts that I enjoyed, I didn't really care what the consequences were and didn't see how they hurt God and myself. I compair those thoughts to blasphemous thoughts and they are TOTALLY 100% different. Blasphemous thoughts make you sick to your stomach, make you cry, make you hurt and feel empty. Doesn't sound like a geniune thought to me.
Secondly blasphemy of the HS can be seen as one of 2 things. Blasphemy actually means "to speak". So literally to blaspheme the HS would be to accuse it of doing evil. But I have read tons of stories online where people have cursed at the HS and are now on fire for God christians. The second way it can be seen as, is just a down right denial of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Because it is the HS that opens your eyes to the necessity of Jesus Christ, so if you reject the HS, you will have no other way to salvation.
If you have been trying for 5 years, whatever your trying isn't working. For me it has been 9 months almost. Saying this has been horrible being description would be an understatement. But I can honestly say as far as blasphemous thoughts go, for me they are 100% gone. And the thoughts are what orignally started this whole thing for me. Actually I can usually tell when a thought is about to go blasphemous and I can just turn it to something else. But even if I do have a bad thought, they just don't bother me anymore. I was so bad I lost 35-40 lbs, thought I was gonna lose my job, wanted to die. Everytime I would get a thought I would jerk my arm, or blurt out a noise. It was really strange. The secret really is devaluing the thoughts. For me blasphemous thoughts were horrible and hurt so bad, then I just started speaking the Word constantly over myself and kept communicating with God. My thoughts started to shift to doubting Jesus Christ. And to me that was worse than blasphemous thoughts, and that alone devalued my blasphemous thoughts. So then when I started overcoming my doubts about Jesus, the blasphemous thoughts tried to creep back in. But the second time around I was just like "whatever your stupid", haha. It seems like OCD wants to stick to something. I stopped it at the doubts, and decided to just full steam ahead. I would say for myself because after 9 months of blows to my emotions I have some collateral damage, but I am 100 times better than those first few weeks.
I don't know if what I am saying is helping. Also just because you don't feel like you love God or have awe of Him, doesn't mean anything. Maybe you don't, maybe this really has taken that big of a toll on you, but it doesn't mean by any means God can't restore you. But from my own experience when I thought I didn't love Jesus, or didn't even believe in His existance or power, it wasn't because I actually didn't but the cloud of depression was covering all of the truths. And when the cloud would pass all of a sudden these emotions would spring from my heart. Heres the thing, when you believe something it is planted in your heart, which is the hardest to pluck out. When someone lives for Jesus Christ it starts in their heart and then into their mind also. If you get hit with an OCD attack, you will lose that "mental" knowledge of the love for God, but it will not so easily be taken from your heart. Give it enough time and I think a persons heart can also change. Thats why I worked so hard to get this over with ASAP. Because I know that the longer I let it damage me, the more my heart would suffer.
I'm not experienced with medicine for this so I will let someone else comment, but I know that only the Word of God can rebuild faith. Listening to Christian music won't, praying won't, talking with other Christians won't. Although those are all good things and you NEED to start doing those regularly, the faith you need in your heart comes through reading and studdying the word. Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. It took me about 7 months to realize listening to Christian music ten hours a day isn't going to build my faith to overcome this. But it certainly helped! I know reading the Bible is so hard with blasphemous thoughts, as you devalue them it won't be as hard. But if you are reading Bible stories and they are making you think perverted and blasphemous thoughts then just pick a couple "power" verses and read those. I had a hard time reading stories because my mind went crazy but I could handle something like Is. 58:18 or Psalms, and just read and focus on those all day long.

You knwo I feel your pain. I have HOCD right now and it's in my mind all day long every day. It's like my brain likes to torture me and the only thing keeping me sane is believing God will save me and make me normal again. But i've started getting the evil thoughts as well..I've started to think God just doesn't care and doesn't want me anymore because I abandoned him and sinned so much. No matter how much I ask for help and say I am sorry it seems like he wont listen and it's starting to take a toll on me. But I can say this, does it feel like someone who isn't you is living inside of your body? thats how it is for me. It feels like someone who is not me is inside of me like a bad demon or something. I was ghost hunting with my friend last month and feel like something attached it self to me or something like that. I know it sound pathetic but why else would I be feeling not like me. I have no emotion and all my thoughts are bad. Last night I was laying down trying to clear my mind and heard a voice say "there is no God" and I was so shaken I started to cry. I sometimes don't feel bad for my sins either and I know I should because they are wrong but my feelings are so numb I get like so what. I guess all you and I can do is keep the faith...keep praying..keep having faith something good will happen to us and make us normal again. I know one thing though...I do fear the Lord. I fear on what he's going to say to me when I die...

I'm going to pray for you too..We both need alot of help. Try to keep the faith.

When some of us tell you to ignore the thoughts, please don't think we are minimizing what you are going through and offering a simplistic answer. In fact, as you can see from other replies many of us have gone through the gut-wrenching fear, feeling sick to the stomach because of OCD thoughts. I myself went through this for 16 years, and I can tell you from experience that telling yourself to have a clear mind simply does not work. It's like if someone told you that you absolutely must not think of a pink elephant - your eternal destiny depends on it. The first thing you then think of is a pink elephant. So I think you've got to get out of this mindset of trying to control the thoughts. It's the most natural thing to want to do, but it doesn't work. Ignoring and devaluing the thoughts sounds simplistic but it does work. And in the long run you will have fewer of these thoughts so it's not like you are condoning them in any way but rather taking action to overcome them.

What I suggest you try to do is to accept that today blasphemous thoughts may come in my head - but I choose to ignore them because they are meaningless and not worth my time or God's time. Focus your attention on something else. Do you have a hobby? Exercise can be very good as it releases endorphins that make you feel relaxed. If you have nothing else to think about except the blasphemous thoughts, that isn't going to help (not saying this is the case for you). If you feel an overwhelming sense of fear, maybe you could talk to your doctor about taking some medication to take the edge off it while you try to manage the OCD.

I recommend a very good book on overcoming OCD called Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz. You can find it on Amazon. It goes through 4 steps you can take to help you devalue the thoughts.

I think your love for God will return in time, but maybe not while you are so wrapped up in worrying you are displeasing Him. Remember, He knit you together in your mother's womb and He knows your true feelings and motivations, even better than you know them yourself. He feels your pain and wants you to be healed from this and in loving fellowship with Him. Please know that others of us have been in this despair but have come out of it again. Don't give up.

God bless,
HeatherG

I understand what you mean. It gets to hard and you wish that there was a way out. I tried to kill myself the other night but something kept stopping me. I know what its like to have a demon in your mind..I always have one. My mind now makes me think im not a heterosexual...its a demon in my brain and I know it. OCD is little terrorist inside our heads and it feels like NOTHING is going to help us. I'm in the same boat as you though...nothing is helping me...If you wanna PM me and talk more feel free. Its always nice to have someone to talk to.

A couple of thoughts:

If you were really having the thoughts deliberately, if you really wanted to curse God, surely you would be happy about the state you are now in, where you are having blasphemous thoughts all day. You would be really glad that you could follow your heart's desire all day and curse God. But that is obviously not the case. You say you are miserable and in despair and you come to a Christian forum looking for help. That is not someone who wants to curse God. Don't listen to Satan's lies.

Secondly, if there is really demonic involvement, there is absolutely no reason why God couldn't deliver you from it a second time. Maybe you could ask one or two trusted and mature Christians to pray with you? Remember, the power and authority to do this is from God, not from humans.

I agree with justpassingthrough and Heather's advice to you here. As Heather said, maybe you could find someone to pray with you about this. I remember our pastor talking about someone praying for him to be delivered frome extreme claustrophobia. It was just a simple prayer session as I understand it, but it worked. The book of James tells us that "the fervent, effectual prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

Also regarding the thoughts, do NOT try to clear your mind of them. The "trying" just causes focus on them. Just say if they come, they come. If they don't, they don't. Don't "monitor" your progress. Just turn your attention elsewhere and try not to attend to any unwanted thoughts at all! Praying for you!

ignoring the thoughts helps, but only after you fully believe God will be there for you.. when the thoughts get bad, worst, more bearable, less bearable, worst than ever, doesn't matter, HE will ALWAYS be there. i still suffer from blasphemous thoughts, not just against our GOD, but against everything. there were times where physically i just couldn't anymore and i would have complete panic attacks in the middle of the street while walking, and no one ever knew because i kept walking knowing God was there giving me enough strength to make it home. at times i would go to school emotionless and completely traumatized by these horrific thoughts against life, but i pulled through because God was/is there, making sure i don't fall while walking in the hallways, classroom, exit, driveway, street/sidewalk. He is there, when i quit, He wins it for me. i was so confused as to what was happening to me, how can i get these thoughts? why? who? how? and when?? i remember the exact day these thoughts began, and have been struggling with them ever since that day, 3 years. these thoughts have completely paralyzed my life, i come up with countless of excuses to not go outside. i want to spend time with family, go to church, and pursue holiness, but these thoughts do not allow me to go in peace. is not so much about the guilt, but it's these horrid thoughts that cause torment and oppression and fuels the guilt. i know EXACTLY how and why these thoughts are in my mind.


these thoughts entered through my rebellion/sins (inappropriate contentography) against the most high. every time i would fall for that specific sin, the thoughts would get MUCH worst. i have fallen so many times to that sin, that the thoughts got so bad, that even now, my mind still cannot fathom how horrific this experience is. but God works all things for good for those who love Him, so of course God uses this oppression for good. i matured and built a true relationship with God. i am in the process of eliminating idols (celebrities) and ending obsessions (movies, meaningless music, TV). i was happy before the blasphemous thoughts, but after these horrible thoughts end i will be truly happy and have peace beyond description. Thank you Jesus for giving a hope and a future. God bless all

Hey PK, just wanted to tell you I will be praying for you.

Also, you mentioned some verses about the unforgivable sin and another verse from Hebrews about there being no more sacrifice for sin.

Jesus said in John 6:37 that "him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out".
Paul said in Romans 10:13 that "whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved". I have had the same problem with blasphemous thoughts that you are having (albeit not as long as you have had them) and these two verses have really helped.


Also, the verse in Hebrews talking about there being no more sacrifice for sins, I have read that that verse was directed at Jews who had become Christian and then reverted back to Judaism. What the writer is saying is that because of Christ, there is no more sacrifice for sin (like lambs and bulls) because Christ is the perfect sacrifice. If you go from putting your faith in Christ to putting your faith in the sacrifices established in the Old Testament law, your sins can't be forgiven.

Don't forget, if you call on the Lord, He will not cast you out.

No no no.

God loves you. Pay no mind to the heart-wrenching condition. We all have been through forms of it. I can relate to the aches and pains and the constant thoughts like you because i wen through the same thing.

No doctor helped.
No church leader helped.
No family helped.

The only help i had WAS God. He brought me out of it like he will bring you out of it because he IS the same God today and yesterday. Tommorow and forever. He is STILL the miracle working God and the compassionate God because He promised he doesnt changed. He told me to tell you he loves you because he loves you because he loves you and hes NOT mad at you or disapointed at you. And he can never stop loving you.

He cannot lie. So do you belive him? He says in his Word ask and it will be given unto you. This means by faith, ask for your deliverance and recieve it.

Pray pray pray. I KNOW he feels like he might be far away but i assure you he isnt. He close and very close to you all the time. What he is allowing you to go through, like me, is very painful and very draining and very discouraging.

He WILL heal you. 5 years is a very long. And i prayed for you. 5 years and you still have faith. Be proud of that. GOD IS A RESPECTOR OF FAITH.

For you healing you will need to continue praying no matter how dreadful. You will need to continue praise and worship even if you dont feel like it. And you will need to trust him. Dig deep and seep as low as you can go inside youselfr and reveal to him all you want changed. Go into your prayer closet or special room and cry it out one last time giving him all you have : mind, soul, body, and spirit. Dont hold back anything so he can heal it all. Not doctor can do for you waht Jesus can. No one has the once and for all cure like him.

And be patient. Your reward will be great. And please rememeber you arent the only one. We support you and undestand you but not nearly as well as your Heavenly Father. He loves you. Trust him and hold his hand as he walks you through this.

God bless you.

May I ask are you still going through this heart-wrenching condition?