Almost Christian... please help?

You sound like you are going through the struggle phase - it is darkest just before the dawn. Some christians like myself have also tried to fight off being believers. I don't have any christians in my family and my husband is also an atheist.

C.S.Lewis said it very well: In Surprised by Joy, Lewis tells us about his feelings when he could no longer deny God’s existence to himself:

http://www.cslewisinstitute.org/files/webfm/aboutcslewis/ObstaclesToFaith.pdf

*Ez* said:

. . .I'm not sure where to go from here. . . .

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Try Calvinism to discover where you're at in belief.

That was not a real lengthy post and just made me want to know more about you. Whatever you do people will question your motives so do even go there?

You are to become a witness of True Godly type Love to your friends, but they may all not like that kind of Love (selfless, sacrificial, serving) even from you.

I can tell you what a faith in Christ has done for me and others, but really cannot say what all it will do for you. I had this huge burden of sin (transgressions that hurt other people) that kept growing. All kinds of stuff reminded me of my foolishness and I kept doing a lot of the same bad stuff. Be a Christian turned those sins into part of my witness (that was the way I was and now I am different).

I was lonely lots of time, but now I really feel God’s presence through the Holy Spirit.

I did “lose” some people that I thought were friends, but gained a whole lot more.

I believe you are crying because its seems like God is dealing with you. People will always will question your motives no matter what. What counts is what God thinks.

The purpose of christianity:
Are you a good person? www.livingwaters.com/good/

Research the credibility of the bible concerning overwhelming evidence which is very high even though it’s a spiritual decision first.
Visit: www.TheBibleProofBook.com, (you will need acrobat reader for this), read The Evidence That Demands A Verdict by Josh McDowell a former agnostic- (its overwhelming circumstantial evidence of bible) and Examine the Evidence by Muncaster a former athiest/The Case for Christ and The Real Jesus by Lee Strobel a former athiest. www.equip.org (articles), http://www.gotquestions.org/




Internal Evidence (prophesies confirmed within bible)
Life of Christ
The Tribe of Judah, Gen 49:10 - Luke 3:23-28
(Genesis was written 4004 BC to 1689 BC)
(Lukes time period 60-70 AD)
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Royal Line of David, Jer 23:5 - Matt 1:1
(Jeremiah 760 to 698 BC)/(Matthew 60 - 70 AD)
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Born of a Virgin, Isaiah 7:14 - Matt 1:18-23
(Isaiah 760 to 698 BC)/(Matthew 60 - 70 AD)
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Rise of Empires
In the book of Daniel, Chapter 2 - four kingdoms are described in the interpretation of a dream of
Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon: Babylon, Medo-Persia, Greek - Daniel 8:21, 10:20/and the fourth
great kingdom to follow- part iron and clay-which is the Roman Empire. During this empire Christ came and his church was established.
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Historical Accuracy
The bible is loaded with historical statements concerning events hundreds of years ago and has not
been proven incorrect in any.
(Bible compared to other ancient documents):
New Testament starts - at 25 years between original and first surviving copies
Homer - starts at 500 years
Demosthenes - at 1400 years
Plato - at 1200 years
Caesar - at 1000 years
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Number of Manuscript Copies-New Testament - 5,686/Homer - 643/Demosthenes - 200/
Plato - 7/Caesar -10
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Consistency/Written by God
Written by at least 40 men over a period of time exceeding 1400 years and has no internal inconsistencies.
It claims to be spoken by God, 2 Timothy 3:16-17. No other religious book makes such claim.
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External Evidences (prophesies outside bible)
These cities were prophesied to be destroyed and never built again.
Nineveh - Nahum 1:10, 3:7,15, Zephaniah 2:13-14
Babylon - Isaiah 13:1-22
Tyre - Ezekiel 26:1-28
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Bible before Science- He hangs the earth on nothing-Job 26:7/Earth is a sphere-Isaiah 40:22
Air has weight-Job 28:25/Gravity-Job 26:7, Job 38:31-33/Winds blow in cyclones, Eccl 1:6
(Job was written at least 1000 years ago; some scholars think 3000 years ago)
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Documents that Prove Bible is True
Gilgamesh Epic, The Sumerian King List, Mari Tablets, Babylonian Chronicles
Archeological Finds
Excavations of Ur, Location of Zoar, Ziggurats and the foundation of Tower of Babel


Free free to email me, if you have anymore questions.

*Ez* said:

I felt as though I was kind of getting close to becoming Christian, but when my boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago, I began to question whether I really did believe this, or whether I was just pretending, for his sake.

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This is a very sensible thing to ask yourself. Well done!

I have also been going over the bible with a girl from the Christian group at my uni, and praying to God for advice and for him to help me believe (yeah, seems a bit hypocritical to be praying if I don't believe yet).

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This is not at all hypocritical. One of our finest prayers is from the Scripture, and says; 'Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief.'

If you pray that one, you will not go wrong.

My ex and I are still very close, but I have somehow been able to put him out of the picture when considering God, and feel more positive than ever about this, so I am fairly sure my motivations aren't wrong.

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Most excellent. Whatever may come in the future, your faith will ultimately be stronger because it is about you and God, not you and anyone else. This is a very good sign, imo, that God is working in your life.

However, I'm having trouble taking the leap and accepting God and Jesus into my life.

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Wrong tense. You already did it. What you have yet to do is to admit that you have done it. As you already said, you have been praying. What is prayer if not a statement of belief?

Therefore, don't worry about getting the words right; it is done.

On the one hand, I can't seem to think about anything else; I haven't been able to do my uni work, in favour of mulling over this and reading some Lee Strobel and praying. Every time I think about it though, I feel immensely sad and feel like crying, and I have no idea why.

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This preoccupation and also the feeling of sadness are the work of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit always makes me cry. It does not affect everyone in the same way, but it always affects me this way.

I would say, though, don't neglect that uni work any longer; it is important for your future.

Also, my family and especially my friends are staunchly atheist, and I have had a few friends say to me that they can't believe I'm considering this, and they thought I was smarter than that. Although I know my family and friends would support me, two of my friends have stated that they feel me becoming Christian would distance us, and this lack of support from them is making it quite difficult for me to become a Christian.

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It really depends what kind of Christian you become. If you become an obnoxious one, you may lose friends. If, however, you stay sane and rational, then there is no need for that to happen. Your choice, really.

Furthermore, I feel that everyone would think I am just pretending to become Christian to try to get back with my ex, and they would not accept that this is a real change that i am making for myself. Finally, there are still some issues that I disagree with; homosexuality for example - I know I wouldn't have to denounce homosexuals, but I still find it incredibly difficult to truly believe that homosexuality is bad, and that I should be viewing it as a sin.

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Again, this comes back to the sane and rational bit. There are a lot of different churches, from barking mad to relatively sane. Choose carefully, and if you do not feel at home, try somewhere else until you do.

But don't throw away your existing moral views, and don't believe everything you are told about what Christians 'have' to think. There are in fact very few issues upon which all Christians agree.

I know that these issues are only minor when given the big picture, but I just can't seem to get over them, and because of this I won't accept that God and Jesus are real. So I'm just very confused, and although I feel very close to becoming Christian, I'm not sure where to go from here. Any advice is much appreciated. Sorry again it's soooo long! =/

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Where to go from here? Church. Preferably a sane one.

You know perfectly well that the Lord is real; you just don't believe he is homophobic. And in that you are perfectly right. In other words, believe in the God you can believe in, not the one you can't.

Being a Christian is not just a one type fit for everyone. That is why there are so many different churches to choose from. Not all believe that homosexuality is a sin. If you are uncomfortable in thinking it is a sin I would suggest that you do research on different church doctrines to see what best suits how you feel.

Yes, you will loose some of your friends, but you will also gain new friends. It is a difficult transition you are going through and it will probably be that way for a while. If you truly believe in God and accept him then do not worry about being judged.

However, I'm having trouble taking the leap and accepting God and Jesus into my life. On the one hand, I can't seem to think about anything else; I haven't been able to do my uni work, in favour of mulling over this and reading some Lee Strobel and praying. Every time I think about it though, I feel immensely sad and feel like crying, and I have no idea why.

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Your emotional response could be the result of any number of things. It will probably only be in hindsight that you'll be able to see clearly why you felt this way. I wouldn't dwell on this, though, or let it dissuade you from continuing to consider a relationship with God.

Also, my family and especially my friends are staunchly atheist, and I have had a few friends say to me that they can't believe I'm considering this, and they thought I was smarter than that.

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"Smart" isn't the issue. Virtually every atheist whose atheism I've challenged has had at the root of their atheism a moral motive for rejecting God. There is excellent rational reason for theism; don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Here are a few sites you might check out that provide excellent philosphical/logical bases for a faith in God:

Welcome to Ravi Zacharias International Ministries
Stand to Reason: Stand to Reason: Equipping Christian Ambassadors with Knowledge, Wisdom, and Character.
Reasonable Faith:

Although I know my family and friends would support me, two of my friends have stated that they feel me becoming Christian would distance us, and this lack of support from them is making it quite difficult for me to become a Christian.

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Jesus warned his followers that being a Christian would be costly. He urged his followers to count carefully the cost of their faith before committing themselves to him. You must do the same. Christ tells us we must each "take up our cross daily" to follow him. Remember, though, the greater the value of a thing, the greater its cost.

Furthermore, I feel that everyone would think I am just pretending to become Christian to try to get back with my ex, and they would not accept that this is a real change that i am making for myself.

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This isn't something over which you really have much, if any, control. Time will reveal your real motives for following Jesus.

Finally, there are still some issues that I disagree with; homosexuality for example - I know I wouldn't have to denounce homosexuals, but I still find it incredibly difficult to truly believe that homosexuality is bad, and that I should be viewing it as a sin.

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What is culturally acceptable and what is counted as sin by God are often two very different things. This is why being a Christian can be so costly. Holding to a holy God's perspective on right and wrong in a culture that has swung wide the doors to sin is going to put you sharply at odds with the culture.

I hope you know that there is no hard evidence that establishes that homosexuality is, in the end, anything other than a choice. In spite of concerted efforts by a number of researchers to distinguish a biological imperative for homosexuality, it remains essentially a matter of personality and sociological factors. No one is born homosexual. Popular culture has normalized homosexuality to the point that the average person sees it as you do, but there is nothing that proves being homosexual is like being short, or black, or blue-eyed.

I know that these issues are only minor when given the big picture, but I just can't seem to get over them, and because of this I won't accept that God and Jesus are real.

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This isn't a very rational reason to deny God's existence. God's existence has nothing whatever to do with whether or not you approve of his moral standard. Would you deny the existence of Hitler because you don't agree with his genocidal politics? That wouldn't make much sense, would it?

So I'm just very confused, and although I feel very close to becoming Christian, I'm not sure where to go from here. Any advice is much appreciated. Sorry again it's soooo long! =/

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Actually, I don't think you really are confused. I think you know that God exists but you don't like all the ramifications of this fact. You know what you ought to do, you just don't want to do it. And this is why it takes the power of God to save people. Only He can penetrate our stubborn self-will, our natural rebellion to His divine authority. I pray He will do so for you.

Selah.

I went through precisely the same process. Embarked on the process of converting, largely because the woman I loved and wanted to marry would not be with me without my conversion.

It makes it very hard to separate your motivations. I had myself completely convinced that mine were noble, and that I was making the right decision. I read Strobel, Lewis, and prayed until I cried, and felt good about it sometimes. My studies suffered terribly, and I have nearly failed a subject which given I'm in the final year of Medicine, is dangerous to myself and my future patients.

Things with the woman in question went very well while I was struggling, which also made me feel good. Marriage was informally proposed and accepted. Parents were met. Prayers were said around the dinner table, and I was accepted where before I was not. However, I could not get over thinking: "What would happen if I converted, got married, had children, and lost my faith". Despite your best intentions, this can happen, even to those raised in faith from birth. It is not something that is pleasant to think about, but it can happen.

Mine failed, temporarily perhaps, despite my most strenuous prayers, and she broke up with me. The did it nicely, saying that she loved me dearly but needed someone she could pray with always. This was a week after the quasi-proposal. At the moment, I have some small hope that I will regain faith, but not enough to risk further hurting the woman I would have married.

My advice to you: Be certain. If you commit to Christianity, it will be the biggest change in your life, ever. If you can stand face to face with your ex, and tell him with absolute honesty that you chose Christ over him, then your motivations are right, and you are on the right track. Desiring acceptance by another by adopting a faith is dangerous, and only becomes apparent when things fall apart. Acceptance in all things should be the basis of a relationship. If he did not accept you prior to conversion, you are off to a bad start. I have learned this the hard way. If I had my time again, I would have turned the woman I loved away, for good, and focused on slowly moving towards faith without feeling like I had to make the jump to please anyone, and without the fear that I would hurt anyone if I failed again.

Regarding the homosexuality thing, I decided from the outset that even if I followed Jesus for good, with all my heart, that I would never condemn my gay and lesbian friends. I would be willing to go to hell for this, if needed. Free will.

Dear would be/could be /are/ Christian lady,

I hope this may give you some food for thought regarding faith in God or not. The truth is that athiests are religious, just as Christians are.
Athiests so often do not physically check the scientific theories that the athiestic scientific community present to them. Therefore they too put their faith in reports and supposed Science without testing it.
Just as the Christian who did not see the Apostles literally write the verses of Scripture but have a witness in their conscience that what they read bears truth with the Scriptures. Yet even athiests do show forth some form of compliance with the ten commandments, by believing that
to be dishonest (lie) or murder, is against a moral conviction of their heart. If they did not have a religious conviction of morality that agrees with the bible, then why would they even bother showing any form of care for you, or care about you fellowshipping with Christians, if we are liars then they are preaching their religion by suggesting you should not be hanging around liars.
And if they believe that man is God, then why don't they believe that God wrote the bible, if men wrote it?

Regarding homosexuality, I believe there is a paradox happening with the Christian Church and the homosexual community. In the Spirit, there is neither male nor female. both spirits were created by God and ordinances were placed upon them for the purpose of God (pro-creation) yet we being joined to God become one spirit with Him, and as God is in men and women, He also enjoys experiencing love from and through men and women. I believe in eternity (outside the present finite identity) is a universal Spirit (God) thus, men will be married to Christ as will women,
they will experience His life and I believe many openly gay people have tapped into this understanding of a oneness intimacy in Christ, but often deny that they are presently in a corruptible, unclean body to experience these pleasures. But God can manifest his love to a man, through a man, nevertheless, pretending that man is not in a corruptible body can bring God's judgment, because they lie against what they know is true. The desire for pleasure in all parts of us is true, but we are waiting for the incorruptible to enjoy heaven's pleasure
of complete satisfation without corruptibility and shame (Psalm 16).

Perhaps that deep intimacy you felt for your boyfriend was a foretaste of the beauty of marriage with your true eternal husband Jesus (Ephesians 5:21).

I am convinced you are already a believer. You are seeking for God, who is in you and drawing you, may He bless you and enlighten your understanding into the full knowledge of the Lord Jesus

Blessings in Christ's name

The Writer

Your hurdles seem greater to you than they are, the fact that your heart is not hardened to outright reject God as your friends are demonstrates that you've been honest in giving God the benefit of the doubt. It is important to remember that Christianity is all about uniting us with God, and this happens on an individual basis so you should be looking to see what promises it holds for you rather than anyone else.

We are each unique which means no two of us can ever share a comprehension, when you seek to know the truth about Jesus you are looking for answers to your questions. These questions are also specifically unique to you because you are a unique person as we all are. DNA is unique and life experience (memories) is unique. Only God can answer your questions for you, and He can't do this for you unless you are seeking in honesty. The moment you begin to refute the Bible your rejecting God and He won't force you to accept Him. He only wants children that love Him, which is why the bar is set at a height which seems unreasonably difficult to people who hate Him. Forget what they think, it's all about you and your search to find the peace and assurance of knowing God loves you.

I know how hard the homosexuality issue is to accept, that was the bone of contention which split me from God 12 years ago. It took a long time before I was able to bury the hatchet, but let me assure you that God does not hold a grudge, it is always the human who holds the grudge against God. Once you discover how to accept that God's standard of holiness is perfect you'll understand how it is possible for something that seems ok to us can seem detestable to God. But you need to put the issue in perspective, homosexuality is not in the ten commandments and Jesus never discriminated against gays. Adultery on the other hand is in the ten commandments, and in John 8 Jesus shows us what His attitude is toward sin:

"10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Which shows that He is the most perfect administrator of forgiveness, and all He expects of us is an effort to turn from our sinful ways.

Nothing is impossible for God, and I can testify of personal experience with homosexual tendencies, for years I held grudges toward women which prevented me from seeing their beauty. Jesus has healed me of this and now I love and admire them dearly as God had intended when He made Eve as Adam's companion.

The burdens of hurt we carry are the root of all our grudges against God. The fact that God is invisible makes Him seem less real to us, this makes it easier to blame Him because in a way it doesn't seem like real blame. This doesn't impress God much, which is why He allows us to stray on the wrong path as long as needed until we come round to understanding His point of view.

So I would suggest to you to investigate your heart, see what grudges you have against God (such as the homosexuality issue) and seek the truth from people who have laid their grudges to rest and found their peace with God.

Above all, look out for number one until you have secured good standing with God, too many people are smug in their ignorance and desire in their pride to deter you from discovering the truth that God DOES love you and wants only for you to reciprocate that love for Him.

I don't know whether it is appropriate or not, but I am going to leave you with a list of times God has drawn near to me. Because the bible says the experiences we have with God are powerful, and can overcome darkness. The bible is a list of experiences with God written down by men of God. People today also experience God, that is what I want you to be aware of as you read my true stories. Once you have finished reading these if you are not fully convinced God is able to intervene in the hear and now. Do a search for testimonies on the web. A testimony is an experience with God.

One morning I got up and walked into the hall and I heard a voice that I believed was God say "How would you like to be stabbed in the Valley". The Valley was known as the rough end of town, and the voice scared me a little, I wondered if I had done something to offend God. I had planned to go down to the Valley to ask people out to church as was my habit at the time. In the end I went anyway regardless of the fear. I walked up to the first person I met and asked him if he would like to go out to church. He said to me "I am an atheist, I don't believe in God". I just said "fine", but hoped to change his mind. He then proceeded to unbutton his shirt and showed me scar marks up and down his chest and stomach. He said to me, "I was attacked by a knife wielding man in the Valley some time ago and spent months recovering in hospital, How could God allow that to happen to me". Then I knew why God had said in the morning "How would I like to be stabbed?". God understood this man, but had a good plan for him. Some weeks latter this man came out to church and became a Christian.

Some time after the second Gulf War an Australian man Douglas Wood was captured by terrorists in Iraq, who made demands for a ransom or he would be executed. I set about fasting and praying for his release, I said to God "You know where he is....tell me". Three words entered my mind ABC, Bizaar and "A-meal". I thought "I am going crazy what has all that got to do with him. Bizaar I though "this is Bizarre". I thought maybe "A-meal" is a town so I searched a map of Iraq for a town of that name, but found nothing that really matched. Some time latter Douglas Wood was freed by US troops who came across his captors. It was not until latter that I actually discovered what the three words meant. I was on a forum libertyunites.us and came across a post by a user called ABC in the post she appealed to the captors to release Douglas Wood because he had gone to a/or the Bazaar and bought food for homeless people and had provided them with "A-meal". I believe God saw this action too and blessed Douglas Wood with an escape from his captors.

One time I thought about suing some one but felt bad about it because I did not want to give a bad impression about what a Christian is like. So I prayed and asked God to show me clearly what to do. Latter that day I opened my bible at random, selecting a random verse and it opened to 1Co 6:7 "Nay, already it is altogether a defect in you, that ye have lawsuits one with another. Why not rather take wrong? why not rather be defrauded?" So I knew what God was thinking, no lawsuit. From this I do not believe God was saying all law suits are wrong just this one was.

At one point in my life I was praying for scientific cures for illnesses like cancer. Because I was on a science kick I thought would it not be fun to create a real life dinosaur. I wanted Jesus just for fun to show me how to create a Real Live Dinosaur, he can show us anything you know if he wants, but when I asked him how to start recreating a Dinosaur. Jesus spoke into my head the sentence "bood, a term I had never heard before. I decided to look it up on the Internet and I found out the following: You see, the children of Semai are taught from an early age, the concept of "bood." If a parent asks a child to do something and the child replies " bood," it means in other words, "I don't feel like doing that," and the matter is closed. Bood means gently No.

One day I was witnessing to a Muslim and he asked me why we ate pork. I used the verse out of the bible which says "It is not what enters the mouth that defiles a man but what comes out of the mouth". After some general discussion I finished for the night. I asked God to give me a verse from the bible to encourage me. I opened the bible at random and selected a random verse. It opened to the exact same verse that I had used with the Muslim. The one about food not defiling. So I knew that God was approving of what I had been talking about.
"What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him "unclean.'"- Mat 15:11

Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing and benefits those who see the sun. - Ecc 7:11 I have always considered it wise to seek God for every thing in life. By this I do not mean “God, what should I eat” or “what should I wear”. Not small insignificant things but things that matter. God cares about the things that we see as significant, things that are important to us. There was a point in my life where I was single, unmarried and constantly bombarded by the worlds system of doing things, a system to which I was diametrically opposed. I wanted to find a partner, but was not really sure how to go about it. By trade I am a computer programmer so the Internet was very familia to me. So I tried internet dating. I remember getting to a point of meeting quite a few people but not really fully clicking with any of them. So I prayed and said out of all the thousands of people that are online in the world there must be some one who could make a good partner for me. So I deliberately listened for God’s voice, and prayed once. The word “Grace” entered my mind. So I typed “Grace” into the search box (that was used to search for profiles). The first profile to come up was of Ru Chen. I had been contacted by Ru Chen once, but we were unable to send messages to one another over the site for some unknown reason. So I tried to contact her again, but again with no success. Some time latter Ru was able to contact me using an email I had sent to her when she had first contacted me, after chatting online for some weeks we decided to meet. We went out together to the movies and just eating out, and seeing each other for some time. Eventually we decided to marry. We went out and bought a ring. Some months latter we got married.

Get Baptised in The Holy Spirit.

No i'm not talking about The Water Dunk type of Baptism.

It's when you invite and pray to God for his Holy Spirit to dwell in you.

It's the spirit of truth and you will know when it finds you.

We cannot live the Christian life without it.

*Ez* said:

Thanks everyone for all the helpful advice. I finally let go of my stubbornness and asked God into my life today. I don't feel particularly different, but I guess I'll realise the true extent of this in time. For now, I'm just excited. Also going to a friend's church tomorrow, so that should be good. Yay!

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Fantastic progress! Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit at work in our lives, so I would say that is definitely one of the immediate differences for you, and as you continue to learn of His promises you'll become more sensitive to His presence in your life. Congratulations! The hardest thing for us is to open our heart to Him and you have done well to overcome that