Why do the pretty and popular always win?

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NotTooImportant

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have you considered therapy?
I've been doing the therapy thing ever since my first suicide attempt. It's alright, but it doesn't change much.
My entire life has been one big joke so far. I don't believe God exists because it's purely evident that he doesn't. All I see is my friends, the pretty and the popular getting everything handed down to them. I've never seen this happen to anyone else. There is always something out there to embarrass me, day after day.

I've made a decision. Since my parents are the best parents in the world, I won't put them through the hell I did when I overdosed two years ago. After they die, I'll probably cut myself short afterward, and this time, I guarantee I won't survive it. I picture my future looking horribly dark. If I don't end myself after my parents go, I may become something unspeakably evil.

Today in class, I've learned that the brain can't feel pain. I'll use that to my advantage.
 
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Joshua Howard

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Science of every kind knows that it isn't purely evident that ANYTHING doesn't exist, much less God, which is defined so differently by so many different people. In any case, some suppose not to believe in God because there is no proof that such exists; but there isn't any impirical evidence proving that there is no God, and I am confident that you wouldn't be making such rash statements on a Christian-themed forum if you truly believed that phrase.

Your desire to be sympathetic must outweigh your desire for sympathy. If you smile and bear your burdens with a good attitude, people will show you sympathy and admiration. If you are moody and always sullen or angry about your life, most people will not like you and/or treat you with contempt, thus making your unhappy experience even worse. Happiness is a choice, and choosing to be happy has an interesting way of making success happen. The most beautiful face, if self-absorbed and angry all the time, will be maddening to look at. The most homely or ugly one, if selfless and kind always, will be a blessing in almost any company.
 
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Philip22

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Hello again,

i have not read all of the posts here and I noticed that it has turned into a converstion about wethier GOD exists or not.

But I wanted to comment on your orginal post. You seem to be upset that you are not some sort of chick magnet. And that is understandable ., from someone that is your age. I dont know if I have any really good advice exceot focus on what you do have.. friends ,family etc. Be appreciative of those things. Other than that I cant really comment because I dont know your situaton totally. Other than not having the girls fall all over you ... are you teased.., bullied ? What gives you the impression that you are unattractive?:confused:
 
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NotTooImportant

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Other than not having the girls fall all over you ... are you teased.., bullied ? What gives you the impression that you are unattractive?:confused:
I don't get teased or bullied per se. About every single guy I've ever met had a had at least one girl like them or think they were attractive. I haven't gotten this once in my life. Also, there's been excessive amounts of times I've overheard people talk about how ugly I was. Or times where people see my face, then quickly look away in disgust or irritation.
 
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mahlalie

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I'm thinkin you have no idea if a girl has ever liked you because they don't always say it or even show it in a way discernible to most guys. You need to calm down, find something you enjoy, and focus on that thing. Even if it's like video games or something, it's better to be happy playing video games than to be miserable listening to what you think other people think about you.
 
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Because that's all I see. That's all I've seen in my entire life. Movie directors seem to think the same, since all their movies have the exact same thing - the main good-looking character getting the perfect girl at the end, while the main character's not-as-good-looking friend (who usually liked the girl WAY more) ends up with nothing. Want example movies? The Sasquatch Gang and all 3 Spider-man movies.

Pretty much all my friends are better looking than I am, so I watch them get attention from all the girls while I'm standing in the back. That also ties in with the time my best friend got the girl I wanted. I won't elaborate on that because I've already mentioned it a hundred times. Even my own parents are examples of what I'm talking about. I am the offspring of the very thing I question.

Middle school and high school - watching the better looking people get carnations on Valentine's Day, most of which got them just for their looks. Now, the people who gave the carnations may have been shallow, but at least the people who got them knew they were interested by someone. Anyone got a good answer?

I know it is hard to see the "pretty girls" always on top. But that is the devil's way of trying to help us fall into the temptation to do the things that many popular kids do (like drink, smoke, cuss, disobey parents etc).

I have a great blog that I use when dealing with these issues. It really helps me put my age and Christian example into perspective and helps me to know I am doing the right thing for my Father, even if I am not doing the right thing to be popular to the world:

It is callingherblessed.blogspot.com.

I hope this site helps all young women in their walk with Christ.
 
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JesusSaved

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I don't get teased or bullied per se. About every single guy I've ever met had a had at least one girl like them or think they were attractive. I haven't gotten this once in my life. Also, there's been excessive amounts of times I've overheard people talk about how ugly I was. Or times where people see my face, then quickly look away in disgust or irritation.


People can be so cruel. I am so sorry that you had the misfortune to meet people like this.
Don't you dare let them affect you. You use what potential you have in this world and become successful. But don't become hateful or sexist.
Killing yourself after your parents die is not a great idea for about a hundred reasons. What if we all commited sucicide once our parents died, or when we felt depressed? Human population=0

God is not a puppeteer, and He won't make people say or do what is right. He judges in the afterlife and guides us through this one. He is our Shoulder when times are tough. Even when your parents are gone, He won't be.
 
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Philip22

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I don't get teased or bullied per se. About every single guy I've ever met had a had at least one girl like them or think they were attractive. I haven't gotten this once in my life. Also, there's been excessive amounts of times I've overheard people talk about how ugly I was. Or times where people see my face, then quickly look away in disgust or irritation.


I hear what you are saying,...unfortunately I can relate. I don't have time to tell you now, but keep checking back from time to time in the next week.. if you don't mind , I have some personal experiences that I would like to share that I think may help you, or maybe not,... but you are not alone in the way you feel,


P.S. Sorry for the spelling mistakes in my last post,I was in a hurry
 
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Lady Bug

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Have to say that made me laugh. While looks is a big part of attraction, there is far more to it than that. A lot of it really is personality and interests as well. For instance, knowing guns totally increases a girl's sexiness. To me, showing her love for God is a very attractive feature in a woman. I've known girls that aren't super pretty, but they're super attractive.

:(

I hope it doesn't, the slump that people get into over "the beautiful people" is one that's best accepted as one of those things. There are people who many would not describe as beautiful who find companionship with someone, the only difference between themselves and the beautiful individual may be that for the ordinary folk it took more time and less wheat sorting. It's not something that can be easily changed so thinking about it is rarely a good thing, it can hinder your life view to the point where you can't see the wood for the trees.
thank you for your nice responses, my sensitivity toward this subject is what caused my attitude:|
 
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Orahh

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I can understand how you feel. I went through high school watching everyone get flowers on valentines day but me, seeing my friends having boyfriends and being desired by guys because they are attractive.
It can be a real downer going through these sorts of things, but the most important thing i've leant is, in the eyes of my father, God, I am beautiful. He looks at my heart and knows who I am and does not base my worth on what I look like. I know it can be heart breaking to be made to feel of little worth due to looks and popularity, but in eternity it means nothing. And if people don't want to know you for who your are and go for looks and status alone instead they truley are not worth your time and that just shows how shallow they are, not your loss
 
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Philip22

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I hear what you are saying,...unfortunately I can relate. I don't have time to tell you now, but keep checking back from time to time in the next week.. if you don't mind , I have some personal experiences that I would like to share that I think may help you, or maybe not,... but you are not alone in the way you feel,

/quote]



i know that I said I was going to share some of my experiences with you but then I started to read the other posts here and I think I would agree with them , for the most part. I also think that my intial accessment was correct... your issue is may not be so much with being unattractive but the fact that you don't have girls tripping over themselves to get to you!


However, I know all too well the torment that you feel at times because I myself have been there, It is not fun too feel like everyone around you are more attractive and accepted than you and that you are the the outsider.


As some have said I think that you need to change your negative attitude..I know that it may not be easy , but it is a start, like I said I use to be just like you but then I made a effort to be more positive and oddly enough people seemed to be more accepting, and I think in part it was because I was more approachable. I am not saying that everything is perfect and that I have as many friends and popularity or even treated as well as " pretty boy" is , but things are better.:ok:
 
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KernAlan

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Personally, I don't think it matters. What matters is what Jesus said: seek first the kingdom and His righteousness. Who cares about getting a little bit of attention from girls? If anything, doesn't that just feed arrogance and vanity? Attaining the kingdom is eternally more important!
 
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mahlalie

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Personally, I don't think it matters. What matters is what Jesus said: seek first the kingdom and His righteousness. Who cares about getting a little bit of attention from girls? If anything, doesn't that just feed arrogance and vanity? Attaining the kingdom is eternally more important!

And yet the attention still feels nice.
 
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Joshua Howard

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Personally, I don't think it matters. What matters is what Jesus said: seek first the kingdom and His righteousness. Who cares about getting a little bit of attention from girls? If anything, doesn't that just feed arrogance and vanity? Attaining the kingdom is eternally more important!

Don't ever tell a single dude who is lonely for the companionship of a woman that he should forget about it and just love Jesus instead. That is a cruel and perverted thing to say. We both know darn well that it ain't the same. It's like telling a guy who is starving to forget about his hunger and enjoy spiritual communion with Christ instead. Hogwash!

The first step toward a healthy mental outlook it to be honest. Figure out the facts of your life, and then make an action plan. What do you want in life? You can get it for the right price, but depending on your advantages versus disadvantages, getting what you want will take more or less effort, and more or less time (respectively). If you are a super-rich supermodel with super-awesome people skills, you won't have a problem getting a date. Heck, you'll have 500 women begging you to marry them before tomorrow morning; but if you're like the rest of us, you have to work a whole lot harder on all fronts in order to find that elusive "true love" ticket. It won't find you. You must find it.

If you just hang out and feel sorry for yourself or wonder why life hasn't handed you an apple, nothing will ever change. Life is war, and we each have a unique position in the game. Figure out where you are. Make a victory plan. Start marching, and keep going until you get there. Every minute you spend whimpering over spilled or non-existant milk is a minute which you are not spending looking for it.
 
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KernAlan

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Don't ever tell a single dude who is lonely for the companionship of a woman that he should forget about it and just love Jesus instead. That is a cruel and perverted thing to say. We both know darn well that it ain't the same. It's like telling a guy who is starving to forget about his hunger and enjoy spiritual communion with Christ instead. Hogwash!

Well, you're a deist. I don't expect us to share the same idea for a solution to this issue. Regardless, allow me to elaborate for the rest of us.

I can tell as soon as Mr. Howard read the word "Jesus" in my post he immediately flared up and ignored the rest of what I said. However, if you read carefully, never did I suggest he abandon his desire for a woman. Rather, what I did was paraphrase Jesus's words from Mat. 6:33, which are: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." As Christians, what does this tell us? Well, let us look to the commentary given by the People's New Testament:

The promise is made that if we seek it first, and its righteousness, all earthly wants will be supplied. The condition demands, (1) That we seek the kingdom first in point of time. Some propose to secure a competence, and after they have gained it, they will serve God. (2) We must make it first in importance. Everything else must give way before its demands. (3) It must be first in our affections, have our whole hearts. We must love the Lord our God with the whole heart (Mt 22:37).

Now isn't that something? Jesus is saying that we must seek the kingdom first--that is, to give it priority as the commentary above explains, which isn't to say we must abandon everything else and become ascetic. Rather, we must prize it above all else as the fine pearl or the treasure hidden in the field. Why, what happens if we do? Well, the promise stated right after the condition explains exactly what will happen: we will be taken care of. That's right. No, this is not Joel Osteen or Billy Graham talking. This is the Son of God Himself. The Son of God, Jesus Christ our Lord, is promising to take care of our earthly needs if we... what? Seek first the kingdom. How amazing is that?

So, what kind of attitude does this reflect in regards to this problem of "attractiveness?" It's simple: who cares! Being attractive has virtually nothing to do with our salvation, nothing to do with the Gospel, etc. It is irrelevant. Sure, it may be an advantage in obtaining a relatively attractive woman, but just between you and me, it's no real advantage at all. I still have trouble finding a woman because there are very few of them who truly fear God. Moreover, being attractive only feeds one's ego. It makes one selfish, arrogant, and conceited. Be glad if you are of decent features; I would consider that an advantage, because it is humbling, and humility is required to enter the kingdom.

Thus, I would say this whole problem stems from an earthly mind. Once you begin to focus on God, everything else begins to fall in place.
 
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mahlalie

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I have to disagree. You really made it sound like he should abandon his desire for a woman. You said that trying to attract a girl is a negative. On the contrary, it's the way God wired most guys. It's normal. You're right in that our focus should be on God. He really is the most important thing. That doesn't mean it's bad to try to attract a mate, though. The main thing is to not focus on your negatives. We have to trust God and focus on Him, but focusing on God and attracting a mate can be done at the same time. They are not mutually exclusive.
 
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