- Nov 24, 2008
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So, I had a nightmare last night. I half-relived the worst day of my life.
A couple of years ago, I was crazy about this girl. We were broken up at the time and I was ready to ask to ask her to be my girlfriend again. It was December 08. And she was nuts about me. Her birthday is a couple of weeks before mine and I joined her and her family for dinner at her parents house. I drove down planning to ask her out. Well, as soon as dinner was over, AJ, a mutual friend buzzed and she left as she had already made plans. I didn't know, but no big deal. What would be the next special time? My birthday! That would be sick!
My birthday is the day after Christmas. We planned to spend the day together anyway, so cool!
I am woken by a phone call at about 930a. ... She has to tell me something....
Tim (her ex from a couple of years prior) proposed to her right after breakfast.
I have never hurt so much in my life. They were married Nov 14th of this past year.
Well, for some [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] reason, I had a dream about that last night. I woke up feeling a bit of an attack, but it wasn't ... how do I say it? blunt? present tense happening? It was like a reminder card you get in the mail.
I prayed. I don't believe I could survive another cut like that again. I prayed, asking God to protect me from something that painful. I prayed that I wouldn't have to endure something like that again. I would rather go back in time and fight in Vietnam and lose. I honestly would.
Tonight, my small group was going over some scripture and Philippians 4.7 hit me. ...the peace of God, which surpasses understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
"Don't worry Chad, I've got you."
A couple of years ago, I was crazy about this girl. We were broken up at the time and I was ready to ask to ask her to be my girlfriend again. It was December 08. And she was nuts about me. Her birthday is a couple of weeks before mine and I joined her and her family for dinner at her parents house. I drove down planning to ask her out. Well, as soon as dinner was over, AJ, a mutual friend buzzed and she left as she had already made plans. I didn't know, but no big deal. What would be the next special time? My birthday! That would be sick!
My birthday is the day after Christmas. We planned to spend the day together anyway, so cool!
I am woken by a phone call at about 930a. ... She has to tell me something....
Tim (her ex from a couple of years prior) proposed to her right after breakfast.
I have never hurt so much in my life. They were married Nov 14th of this past year.
Well, for some [wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth] reason, I had a dream about that last night. I woke up feeling a bit of an attack, but it wasn't ... how do I say it? blunt? present tense happening? It was like a reminder card you get in the mail.
I prayed. I don't believe I could survive another cut like that again. I prayed, asking God to protect me from something that painful. I prayed that I wouldn't have to endure something like that again. I would rather go back in time and fight in Vietnam and lose. I honestly would.
Tonight, my small group was going over some scripture and Philippians 4.7 hit me. ...the peace of God, which surpasses understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
"Don't worry Chad, I've got you."
I can understand the not wanting to get hurt like that again feeling for sure right now.
I guess He always does hold our hearts in His hand but we just don't always *feel* it. I'm sorry about that girl, like you said though I truly believe God will provide you with someone else, like He provides us with opportunities in other areas of our lives. Yay! 
Chin up, my bro! The right woman will NEVER do that to you. Take heart.
