Adultery

Autumn · Jan 3, 2003

I posted a prayer request a while back about my mother-in-law. 

She was puzzling to me due to the way she claimed to be a Christian and yet loved wickedness so much.

Well, a few months after that post, she left my father-in-law for another man.  Apparently she had been having an affair all along with a member of the worship team at her church.

My sister-in-laws, who are 14 and 17 are both having a really difficult time dealing with this.  So is my husband, and brother-in-law. 

She and this man are still claiming to be Christians, and yet they have broken up two families and are living together. 

This man that she is seeing twists the Bible around, and sadly to say so does she. 

Please pray for them, and that they will see their sin.

This is a little question on the side.  My husband's first reaction to the adultery was to confront her about it.  She refused to acknowledge her behavior as sin.  He then went to the church. She still refused and they excommunicated her and the man she is seeing.  She and my husband had a bit of a blowup after that, and stopped speaking to eachother for a while. Recently they began speaking again.

What do you think is the correct way to handle this?  Should we stop speaking with her because she will not stop commiting this sin and wants us to accept her 'fiance'?  We still love her, but dealing with her is really tricky.  She is very crude and dirty in behavior.

Please pray for God's wisdom for us when dealing with her.

GraftMeIn · Jan 3, 2003

I will pray for all those involved.

I'm not sure that you should stop talking to her altogether. Only because I'm thinking back to when I myself was living in a world of sin, and how even though I was living in a sinful nature. God was always right there watching over me.

Blynn · Jan 3, 2003

I will pray too! God bless you.

GodOwnsMe · Jan 3, 2003

prayed for them

God Bless you !!

Blindfaith · Jan 3, 2003

Yikes!  Good question.  I honestly don't know what you should do.  Here's the easy way out ~ contact your pastor or another associate pastor of your church and ask them what you are to do that's biblically sound?  I'm sorry I can't be specific!

{{{praying}}}now for your m.i.l. to see her sin, have it revealed to her and to open her eyes.  For your husband and his sisters feel peace from God, and to know He's in control; and for you to be a comfort, as well as comforted.  {{{hugs}}}

~BF

Autumn · Jan 3, 2003

Thank you all for your prayers and your comments.

I will definitely consider going to a pastor about this.

Gerry · Jan 4, 2003

Well in spite of her crudeness and dirtiness, as you put it, if she was your friend before she should still be your friend now.

You ask should you quit speaking to her because she will not quit comitting this sin. No. By so doing you place yourself in the position of judge, and God did not yield that Throne to you, nor did He give you right to pass judgement on her.

Shunn her??? How cruel, and haughty, and WRONG! Again in so doing you have judged her and passed sentence, while you, yourself have sin in your own life.

No, God gave you a far different Job. LOVE her and PRAY for her and LOVE her and PRAY for her and Love her and Pray for her. THAT is what she needs from you and THAT is what God has said to do, and THAT is what God expects of you. He clearly does not want you stoning her or shunning her or judging her.

John 8:1: Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.
2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.
3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

Autumn · Jan 6, 2003

Gerry, 

Yes, we are not to judge those who are outside of the church, but when a believer continues living in sin we are to judge.  Please read the below passage from

1 Corinthians 5:6-13

How terrible that you should boast about your spirituality, and yet you let this sort of thing go on. Don't you realize that if even one person is allowed to go on sinning, soon all will be affected? Remove this wicked person from among you so that you can stay pure. Christ, our Passover Lamb, has been sacrificed for us. So let us celebrate the festival, not by eating the old bread of wickedness and evil, but by eating the new bread of purity and truth.  When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. But I wasn't talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or who are greedy or are swindlers or idol worshipers. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. What I meant was that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a Christian yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or a drunkard, or a swindler. Don't even eat with such people. It isn't my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your job to judge those inside the church who are sinning in these ways. God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, "You must remove the evil person from among you."

 

 

Originally posted by Gerry
Well in spite of her crudeness and dirtiness, as you put it, if she was your friend before she should still be your friend now.

You ask should you quit speaking to her because she will not quit comitting this sin. No. By so doing you place yourself in the position of judge, and God did not yield that Throne to you, nor did He give you right to pass judgement on her.

Shunn her??? How cruel, and haughty, and WRONG! Again in so doing you have judged her and passed sentence, while you, yourself have sin in your own life.

No, God gave you a far different Job. LOVE her and PRAY for her and LOVE her and PRAY for her and Love her and Pray for her. THAT is what she needs from you and THAT is what God has said to do, and THAT is what God expects of you. He clearly does not want you stoning her or shunning her or judging her.

John 8:1: Jesus went unto the mount of Olives.
2 And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.
3 And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4 They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5 Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6 This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8 And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9 And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

Blindfaith · Jan 6, 2003

Hi Autumn,

{{{hugs}}}  Have you considered going to a pastor about this?  In your church, is there a Women's Ministry leader like in ours?  If not, maybe someone there who deals with "domestic" issues that you can talk to?

Someone who can give you good sound biblical advice, as well as the emotional support that you need?  I'm so sorry your family is going through this.  Lean on the Lord and wrap yourself with His presence.

I'm so sorry I can't be more help!

~BF

Autumn · Jan 6, 2003

Blindfaith,

I am between churches right now, so I don't really have anyone to go to. 

I might set up a time to talk with my parent's pastor.  The assistant pastor at their church wasn't much help.

Just, please, continue to pray for her and everyone involved. 

May the Lord's will be done.

Autumn

Gabriel · Jan 6, 2003

Originally posted by Autumn
Gerry, 

Yes, we are not to judge those who are outside of the church, but when a believer continues living in sin we are to judge.  Please read the below passage from

1 Corinthians 5:6-13

How terrible that you should boast about your spirituality, and yet you let this sort of thing go on. Don't you realize that if even one person is allowed to go on sinning, soon all will be affected? Remove this wicked person from among you so that you can stay pure. Christ, our Passover Lamb, has been sacrificed for us. So let us celebrate the festival, not by eating the old bread of wickedness and evil, but by eating the new bread of purity and truth.  When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. But I wasn't talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or who are greedy or are swindlers or idol worshipers. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. What I meant was that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a Christian yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or a drunkard, or a swindler. Don't even eat with such people. It isn't my responsibility to judge outsiders, but it certainly is your job to judge those inside the church who are sinning in these ways. God will judge those on the outside; but as the Scriptures say, "You must remove the evil person from among you."

 

 

I was about to start typing this same passage to you. You hit the nail on the head. To go on like nothing happened and accept her fiance, is to condone and participate in her sin.

You are in a tough spot. I will keep your family in my prayers.

Autumn · Jan 6, 2003

Gabriel,

Thanks.  I was surprised that no one had replied with the same passage. 

I appreciate your prayers and everyone else who is praying.

Autumn

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Adultery

Autumn

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