Would you date/marry someone with drug problems?

Depends what it is. If they smoke weed from time to time I don't care. Same with coke although there aren't many that only occasionally use it.
Meth would be no go, or heroin. Nicotine, no big deal. Ecstacy-maybe-don't know a lot about it.
I'd have more of a problem with prescription drug use for depression, tension etc. Don't want to deal with those issues.
I dated an alcoholic before and it ended terribly, so I likely wouldn't be up for that again.

That depends on their standing with God, to be honest. I completely understand drug addictions as I've used both meth and crack. I remember doing it every weekend and going near broke doing it. It wasn't fun. Now, I've been free of that mess for around 10 or so years, only having messed up once a few years ago. It was one night and I had gotten myself around the "wrong crowd", which brought on those old temptations. Since then, I haven't looked back.

So yes, I would consider dating someone who is struggling with a drug addiction. As long as I knew that they were honestly trying to get past it and live their life for God. I view drug addictions about the same as every other sin. Though they do cause a heap of problems, so does pride, jealousy, gluttonousness, thievery, etc. We -all- struggle with shortcomings. The end all is putting forth an honest effort through God. Of course, if I finally found that the person would never stop, I couldn't stick around. I'm not willing to drag myself down (and jeopardize my walk with God) for someone who isn't willing to give it up.

MomOf2KD said:

Of course, if I finally found that the person would never stop, I couldn't stick around. .

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Ay, there's the rub.

Lucis, I'm gathering that you are taking personal offense to the replies in here. Dude, not one of us has said we won't love on and encourage and help someone who is addicted to drugs. But why on earth would a Christian allow and encourage that behavior, and welcome it into their home and into their hearts? Any Christian that is struggling with drug abuse, they have more important issues to deal with then dating. If they can't love themselves enough to stay off drugs, they shouldn't be asking others to love them in an intimate way.

I could never be happy watching someone I'm in love with and planning on spending my life with, destroy her life. It wouldn't be fair of anyone to even expect that.

Yup.

Drug addicts are dependent upon the drug for their happiness/existence. I will not date someone who's identity and happiness in life comes from any other source than themselves, and a relationship with Christ within their hearts. I have watched drugs destroy more lives than I can count. I have seen it destroy marriages, relationships, careers, etc...

And it ALWAYS starts as just experimenting and just trying. No one gets into drug culture thinking "I'm going to be a junky and ruin all of the lives around me!" I have a huge problem when people try to excuse and justify illicit drug use by saying "as long as they can do it in moderation."

Coach

Those that are addicted to narcotics do not have a good track record for staying off of the narcotics.

The return rate to being regular users again is rather astounding. Those that quit and never go back is rather few. Occasional lapses outside the final quitting stats.

I have watched an uncle I once lived with while going to college get hooked on narcotics and a once brilliant man destroyed first his brain and then his life with the stuff. He died an early death alone and ostracized by everyone...including his own children because of his addiction.

he tried to get clean and stay clean...but he just couldn't do it. I did get to see him on one of his sober periods. I knew him well...it broke my heart to see who he had become. He knew what I was seeing too. As a nephew I seen him as the man he was really outside the family circles...the way he was with friends and at home.

He once was a good man...and was absolutely destroyed by narcotics.

I have no desire to watch anyone destroy themselves like that again. It would be inviting insanity into my life...as if my life wasn't exciting enough with all its many ups and downs now.

I sooo long for days of boring...

No. As a former narcotics addict (one slip up in 14 years) - it would be a temptation to me. I won't even be your friend if you use illegal drugs. It's not about self-righteous judgement - it's about protecting myself. Getting off narcotics is extremely difficult to begin with - and if you have a partner or friends who do them - it is much more so.

I can't say the same for alcohol, though. This is Australia...most people drink, at least moderately. If I applied the same standard I'd have few friends.

Yes, who am I to judge what God has made clean. Especially if they have walked a while without going back. It would take a minute though to see they were doing what they were supposed to.

I am an ex addict I can't judge someone else for it.

catzrfluffy said:

If I loved them. Yes. I'd try and help them though, not sure how to do that, but the Christ's love can guide us, right?

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Glad not everyone is so closed minded on this. People make mistakes and move on so you really can't judge someone for this.

You have just ruled out 90% of americans if you say you would never date an ex addict.

Providing it was a drug that didn't have huge effects on their personality (caffeine, tobacco, marijuana [though I guess the jury is still out on whether pot's addictive]), then yes. I'd be a hypocrite not to given my addiction to Starbucks, Diet Coke and Ice Capps from Timmy Ho's.

Cocaine, alcohol, valium, etc. no way. Unless they truly were determined to get clean and were in some sort of rehab or AA type programme and they were (or I thought they were) my 'soul mate' or something.

Nope.. I(and all my 4 siblings) pretty much went without a mother for a large portion of our childhood due to alcohol.(It still haunts us) It's not that the user is a bad person, but it's going to hurt you and anyone else who comes into the picture.

I imagine this would tick off a user. No matter how romantic they feel, the drugs are number 1, not the love. The partner would have to learn and accept that.

LoveJC9 said:

You have just ruled out 90% of americans if you say you would never date an ex addict.

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Are you included caffeine addicts and chain smokers in that 90%? I think it's a push to say 90% of the American population can't control their alcohol intake or that 90% of us will be stupid enough to try cocaine and find ourselves addicted.

no

No, as the child of addicts and someone with an addictive personality, for his sake and mine I would not enter that kind of relationship.

aren't you a good fremdin?

Lucis said:

I like statistics.

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Caffeine, alcohol, illegal substances, prescription medication?

trentlogain2 said:

aren't you a good fremdin?

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The best

If by "drugs" you mean "illegal drugs", then no. I've seen personally what drugs do to people, and how that specter of addiction never really goes away completely.

Therefore, I can safely say no. She could be the hottest woman in the world and not touched weed in months, but nope. One of my few "dealbreakers".

Fremdin said:

The best

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*sigh*
how i wish you were a Christian and the fun i'd have with you.