Is it wrong to leave a wife who annoys you?

Autumnleaf said:

Say you marry a beautiful woman who treats you right and over time she packs on the pounds and starts nagging you. Eventually you wonder when things went from great to terrible and you realize it doesn't really matter because here you are where you are at. You now have a choice. Do you move on or do you stay. What is the right thing to do?

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Someone in that situation would have some soul-searching to do. He would have to ask some difficult questions:

1) Why is she nagging? Does she have good reason? Is there some need unfulfilled in her relationship with you?

2) Why is she gaining weight? Is there something she isn't getting? Are you being inattentive?

3) Why would her gaining weight be a cause to leave? Isn't that essentially shallow of oneself?

4) Would finding someone else really solve anything? Won't the pattern start all over again?

Etc.

There are no clear cut answers here. One has to weigh the situation very carefully.


eudaimonia,

Mark

Autumnleaf said:

Say you marry a beautiful woman who treats you right and over time she packs on the pounds and starts nagging you. Eventually you wonder when things went from great to terrible and you realize it doesn't really matter because here you are where you are at. You now have a choice. Do you move on or do you stay. What is the right thing to do?

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I find it telling that the first (and apparently most important) hallmarks in this scenario are both to do with appearance... all is good whilst she's a "beautiful woman" but once she starts to "pack on the pounds" its doomed as terrible.

Personally, I think anyone so shallow as to judge a relationship in such a fashion deserves all he gets.

Not to mention I have it on good authority that the male in this hypothetical isn't exactly washboard stomached himself.

LightHorseman said:

Personally, I think anyone so shallow as to judge a relationship in such a fashion deserves all he gets.

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Seriously. I was tempted to reply: "Do her a favor -- leave her. She can do better."


eudaimonia,

Mark

Autumnleaf said:

Say you marry a beautiful woman who treats you right

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Awesome!
Beautiful first, treating me "right" second.
Faaantastic.
You gotta have your priorities, man

Autumnleaf said:

and over time she packs on the pounds and starts nagging you.

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Oh, suck
She got all fat (again, size, first priority)
Then she gets all naggy
Maybe the person who married her IGNORED some obvious flaws that were evident to everyone else?
Or maybe the person who married her is a lazy slacker who NEEDS to be nagged on?
Hard to tell AL, you're not giving enough information for the situation you describe.
Did the man become a fat drukken slob?
Did he become abusive?
People don't "nag" with absolutely no reason
You're leaving MUCH of the "equation" out of the question and placing the entire scenario upon the weight gaining, nagging woman
Shame on you for delivering such a one sided argument

Autumnleaf said:

Eventually you wonder when things went from great to terrible and you realize it doesn't really matter because here you are where you are at. You now have a choice. Do you move on or do you stay. What is the right thing to do?

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Are you asking for marriage advice?
Or are you just posting a "what if?" scenario?
Again, either way, more information is needed, otherwise your entire scenario is (unsurprisingly) one sided.

Autumnleaf said:

Say you marry a beautiful woman who treats you right ......

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Define "treats you right"
Does she cook for me?
Does she wash dishes?
Does she say "YES YES O WOW YES, RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW" every time I want to have sex 10 years later? (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA )
By "treating me right", would she be June Cleaver, Carol Brady, or Rosanne?

See?

Your OP is empty of definition and therefore (so far) meaningless.

corvus_corax said:

Define "treats you right"
Does she cook for me?
Does she wash dishes?
Does she say "YES YES O WOW YES, RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW" every time I want to have sex 10 years later? (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA )
By "treating me right", would she be June Cleaver, Carol Brady, or Rosanne?

See?

Your OP is empty of definition and therefore (so far) meaningless.

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June's head on Roseanne's body with Carol Brady's housekeeping/cooking skills *drool*

LightHorseman said:

June's head on Roseanne's body with Carol Brady's housekeeping/cooking skills *drool*

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There is, of course, that new Japanese-made robotic girl. She never nags, and she never puts on weight. The ideal slave -- er, I mean wife.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8bziuSFvW4&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKGMzD_5bgA

Are the Stepford Wives far ahead?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzkmq2A_HbA&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzkmq2A_HbA&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaXa8dXWv9U&feature=relatedhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3HASgMS7w0


eudaimonia,

Mark

All of us fail at some point in a relationship... and I think if we work on ourselves.. being the best we can be.. this is the most and best advice ever.. Compliment your wife.. be patient... treat her nice.... The best thing you can do.. is love her as she is.. a person who feels loved and appreciated is going to take note of herself alot more then someone who is constantly being reminded of their faults..

Ask her how she is and take time to listen without giving advice or interupting.. sometimes someone just listening can be a GOD send.. Encourage her to do things she likes to do even if they are not with you.. a happy woman makes a better companion..

I hope these things help.. I just know as a woman in a broken relationship these things would be the very best to receive from a man right now.. Don't leave her.. sounds like she really needs you right now.. love is powerful if it is unconditional and without strings attached...

Personally when I love someone I will want to be with them no matter what. I don't have much control over how I feel and I normally only realise how I feel after a break up. That gut wrenching pain. A couple of days of that and I give in and am forced to give it another go and work through the problems if possible. I am totally driven by my endorphins when it comes to relationships.

Sometimes you'll leave your partner, and you'll just feel relief and free, with none or little of that pain. There is little point working out these relationships IMO (unless you have kids/ties) and you might find someone you once couldn't bare to be apart from 3 years ago, you now have no pull to any more.

Worst situation was when I was dumped and the girl didn't want to know me, so I couldn't get her back, took me years to stop thinking about her all the time. That's the hardest thing I've had to go through, the pleasure of the relationship was not worth the years of pain. A relationship ending before you are ready is torture.

So in this scenario with the nagging wife where the situation went from great to terrible, I would leave her and see how I feel, if I feel fine without her I wont go back, if I get that horrible love sick pain then I will try my best to work it out. If there are kids involved I might try and work it out regardless, but not if we were arguing too much. My parents used to fight all the time and I hated it and wouldn't want to put my kids through what I went through


So simple really, listen to what your body wants, unless you have children, then you really need to start considering what they need first.

LOL. Some people shouldn't even date much less get married.

Autumnleaf said:

Say you marry a beautiful woman who treats you right and over time she packs on the pounds and starts nagging you. Eventually you wonder when things went from great to terrible and you realize it doesn't really matter because here you are where you are at. You now have a choice. Do you move on or do you stay. What is the right thing to do?

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This proposal may appear somewhat absurd to you - but have you ever considered the option of talking to each other?

Eudaimonist said:

There is, of course, that new Japanese-made robotic girl. She never nags, and she never puts on weight. The ideal slave -- er, I mean wife.

**snip cool Japanese robot**

Are the Stepford Wives far ahead?

**snip remake Stepford Wives clip **

eudaimonia,

Mark

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But then, there are the cylons - they did more than just nag....

YouTube - Battlestar Galactica - The Twelve Cylons Part 1

Autumnleaf said:

Say you marry a beautiful woman who treats you right and over time she packs on the pounds and starts nagging you. Eventually you wonder when things went from great to terrible and you realize it doesn't really matter because here you are where you are at. You now have a choice. Do you move on or do you stay. What is the right thing to do?

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If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. So from my particular point of view, get a ugly girl to marry you.

LittleNipper said:

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife. So from my particular point of view, get a ugly girl to marry you.

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Why?


eudaimonia,

Mark

Eudaimonist said:

Why?


eudaimonia,

Mark

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Because all beauty is fleeting, but a good cook and conversationalist is forever

Autumnleaf said:

What is the right thing to do?

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Move to the roof.

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." Proverbs 25:24

Hypothetical man starts a thread and several posters treat it as if it relates to some real world situation. (Note, those who pointed out that he put looks first are NOT doing this, they are just pointing out hypothetical man's priorities).

So I intend to ask a hypothetical question. What promises, implicit or explicit were made? My word is important to me. I know it is to others on this board and think that includes some on this thread. I need good cause to break my word, and putting on weight isn't even close.

There is nothing wrong with breaking up with someone if you or they are unhappy with the relationship you are in. That being said it'll probably you a lot of pain if you just sort it out and talk about it.

LightHorseman said:

Because all beauty is fleeting, but a good cook and conversationalist is forever

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You can be both, you know.