Need Advice!

BrittanyLovesGod! · Oct 3, 2009

hello.

i was just needing some opinions.
this boy at my church is always staring at me..
i have only been saved for about 4 months, but even before that he would still look at me.
now that i am saved, he stares at me more & doesn't really look away if i notice him like he would do before.
our pastor has been preaching on the right way to go about getting married, and he says that you shouldn't let the girl your praying about know that you like her because you could end up defrauding her.
we don't really talk because you can't really be friends with a boy without it leading to something else.
i really like this guy, and i was just wondering if you all think he likes me?
if you need more details just ask me.

thanks,
Brittany! :pink:

SeekTruth4Glory · Oct 3, 2009

His staring at you might be a pretty good indication that he likes you. My advice?

Go talk to him.

BrittanyLovesGod! · Oct 3, 2009

SeekTruth4Glory said:
His staring at you might be a pretty good indication that he likes you. My advice?

Go talk to him.

thanks for the advice!

Melethiel · Oct 3, 2009

you can't really be friends with a boy without it leading to something else.

Sure you can. I have many friends that are guys, which will never be more than friendships. And even if you want it to lead somewhere else...it's always good to base a relationship on a solid friendship.

Go talk to the guy and get to know him.

Girly101 · Oct 6, 2009

Ditto. You should talk to him

Wedjat · Oct 8, 2009

The whole staring thing is a little creepy.
If he can't work up the courage to talk to you it's not worth it.
If you want to talk and just be friends than do that. You can be friends with members of the opposite sex, where did you get the idea that you can't?
Also, you're 17, not the time to be thinking about marriage, not all relationships have to be for life, especially not your first one. Sometimes it is, but I doubt Mr. McStare is "the one".

nickcu13 · Jan 24, 2010

Honestly, the staring comes off as creepy. And your idea of not being friends with a guy does not make sense, because even Jesus was friends with girls. Guys and girls can be friends with no problem, most of my friends are girls actually.

As far as your relationship. You are 17. You have been saved for four months. You do not know your identity (especially that in Christ) well enough to communicate it to someone in a way that will merit a God-fearing relationship that is worth your time. Take it slow. Talk. Be friends. You need that foundation before you can be in a relationship anyway. Also, from what you said it makes it sound like you have never really had a guy as a friend. Jumping right into a relationship is no way to teach yourself how to have guys as friends and will make life harder when you need to have guy friends but do not have idea how to do it because you did not allow yourself to.

Take it slow. Be friends. Grow in God. Move on from there.

With Love in Him.
-Nick

k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe · Jan 28, 2010

Hmm, he honestly sounds a bit like a creeper but the only real way to tell is to talk to him. Usually men who incessantly stare at women in public are not thinking the most pure thoughts if you know what I mean.

ilovemyman · Jan 29, 2010

Actually your wrong about the you cant be friends with a boy. Thats wrong you can be friends with a boy without it meaning something else. I have tons of guy friends i only think as friends.
My advice go talk to him he obviously likes you so why dont u tlk to him or something. No hurt in that.

I was friends with my boyfriend before we started to date. We were friends for 2 months before we dated

oneinamillion92 · Feb 1, 2010

just talk to him but keep in mind that he might not be the one and that you shouldnt fall for him

ashley lynne · Mar 14, 2010

He must have a reason for staring at you...whether it's a good thing or a bad thing I don't know. If someone were staring at me, I'd get the wrong idea and think of it as kinda creepy. Either way, I'd go ask him...

Fyi: You can ALWAYS be just friends with a guy. It's best to start off as friends, it's an awesome base for a relationship!!

Take it from me.

Best of luck!

Ashley

xxJaydie · Mar 27, 2010

nickcu13 said:
Honestly, the staring comes off as creepy. And your idea of not being friends with a guy does not make sense, because even Jesus was friends with girls. Guys and girls can be friends with no problem, most of my friends are girls actually.

As far as your relationship. You are 17. You have been saved for four months. You do not know your identity (especially that in Christ) well enough to communicate it to someone in a way that will merit a God-fearing relationship that is worth your time. Take it slow. Talk. Be friends. You need that foundation before you can be in a relationship anyway. Also, from what you said it makes it sound like you have never really had a guy as a friend. Jumping right into a relationship is no way to teach yourself how to have guys as friends and will make life harder when you need to have guy friends but do not have idea how to do it because you did not allow yourself to.

Take it slow. Be friends. Grow in God. Move on from there.

With Love in Him.
-Nick

Sounds good to me.

yam · Mar 27, 2010

one boy at my church do the same thing to me ,but i am not attracted to him. It is soo wired.

visionary · Mar 27, 2010

Being able to talk with boys gives them the opportunity to move out of their shy mode.. To get to know you in a safe and friendly environment which does not ask him to get out of his comfort zone.

GradualMetamorphosis · Mar 30, 2010

Either he's just completely enamored by you and has NO clue how to approach you, or he's just content staring at you from a distance - which is obviously a problem.

I agree with what's been said about you being only 17 (which honestly is no TOO young) and considering you're new in your faith...maybe your concentration should be on things other than a possible future husband.

If possible, I would casually try to become friends with him .... not just go up and start talking to him right after he's been staring at you. That might make things super awkward if he thinks that you're only talking to him because you're interested in him as well.

guitarmonkey2010 · Apr 13, 2010

Stare him down. ;]

visionary · Apr 14, 2010

guitarmonkey2010 said:
Stare him down. ;]

I even had to wipe the tears from my eyes... I can see that working.

Need Advice!

BrittanyLovesGod!

Guest

Junior Member

BrittanyLovesGod!

Guest

Miserere mei, Domine

Newbie

Spirited Apostate

Junior Member

Senior Member

Member

Newbie

Loving mom and spouse ♥

I am free ..!

Member

Your God is my God... Ruth said, so say I.

Well-Known Member

Down with the sickness

Your God is my God... Ruth said, so say I.

Similar threads