reason for my JEALOUSY

I suppose it depends on the person and the situation. It depends on the reasons you rejected him in the first place, reasons you say you don't even know, which makes it a lot harder to figure out.

You remind me of my husband when we first started dating... the situation is different but the sentiment is similar: We weren't exclusive in the very beginning. When I asked him about a relationship, he said he didn't feel he was ready to be exclusive / committed with anyone (it had little to do with me, in this case, but just in general). Well, I was ready. So because we were not exclusive, and I wasn't at a place in my life where I wanted to put my life on hold for someone who wasn't on the same page as me... I started dating another guy (all non-exclusive, just a few dates and what not).

... and my husband got jealous. He told me point blank that he had become jealous, and that he felt silly for that because he was the one who denied the relationship and therefor he felt like he missed his chance with me. I told him I didn't "belong" to anyone right now, and he had all the chance in the world.

That's when we began an exclusive relationship. Realizing I was now about to be with someone else just.. made him realize what he wanted, I guess. It was strange, and it was not my intention to make it unfold like that (you have to understand that my husband is not the jealous type, which makes it all the more incredible that it happened), but it certainly all worked out for the best in the end.

Anyway: Only you can really determine what you are feeling really means. We can only guess.

But sometimes situations work out funny like that. Sometimes we don't appreciate what we had or could have had, until it is taken away from us. Usually though, is a rare opportunity to be able to reclaim it after you've already given it up.

have you tried asking God to reveal the intents of your heart to you?

No matter if you where interested in him or not, something about him being interested in you pleased you. You enjoyed the fact that he was interested in you.

Now another woman has him and his interest is no longer in you. And that bothers you.

No matter what reason it is, you should work on getting over it. When you reject a guy who asks you out, you should be prepared and able to handle without jealousy him going off and finding another person to date.

If you're interested you know you're interested; if you have to dig to see if you're interested, you most likely aren't. sounds to me by your "that was quick" comment that you enjoyed the attention, and you hoped it would last longer even though you didn't actually want to encourage it yourself. Now someone else is the centre of that attention you enjoyed. that would be bothersome.

but in either case you need to find a way to move on and stop dwelling on him. let him go and enjoy this new relationship. chances are there's someone who is a better match for you waiting somewhere and when you meet him, you will know you're interested and will jump at the chance to be in a relationship with him because thats what you really want.

The fact that you didn't feel anything towards him until after he found someone else tells me that you didn't genuinely want him to begin with, and you don't genuinely want him now. Just work through your emotions and get on with your life, hon.

Sounds like it's exactly that: jealousy.

Think about it this way, the only difference between how you feel now and how you felt before is that he's not pursuing you anymore.

hijatenshi said:

There was once a guy who said he loved me with all of his heart. but i rejected him for reasons i could not explain well its just something is holding me back.. we've known each other for a year now and we're so close because although we are total opposites, we have just one thing in common and got us working in the same organization because of it.

MY PROBLEM: I rejected him. He found another girl (that was quick). I'm kinda jealous but i don't know if i just want his attention or if i did grow to love him or if i want a lover too (but not him)... so i'm depressed. T____T

how can i determine the reason for my jealousy?

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Natural reasons. There is some attraction regardless of you rejecting him or not. He found another girl and moved right along. Mix in your attraction in whatever manner it is and the fact he moved along and found another girl, its completely natural and I wouldn't worry about it if I was you. Just deal with it and move right along. It'll go away soon enough.

I can relate to you- crazy, huh?

I'm with everyone else, you probably enjoyed the attention(I admit, I did as well) and it's gone.

What is helping me is to realize that God requires that we love people- so turn your feelings over to Him.

Love is not jealous, sis.