I feel like talking about myself, I apologize

I have no words to describe what it is passing through my head, but I can tell you at least a little. I am very frustrated now.

First of all, I find the statement of talking to your priest, frustratingly trite. It's like telling someone that they should buy food at a grocery store. I know I should talk to my priest, in fact, I already said I was planning to. In fact I plan to talk to him about as many things as I can, when the time is available. And this will always be true, because not only is that his job, but its one of my favorite things to do.

I've got my hand on my head right now trying to figure out what exactly it is I said that got everyone so concerned for me. It's like someone giving me a cane, when I had no idea I had a limp. I appreciate the concern, I do, but there is no reason to hammer the point of talking to my priest into the ground, it is just muddying up any conversation that might have been able to occur here, which sadly now probably won't happen, removing the whole point of me posting this in the first place.

I do not visit these forums for spiritual advice. That is nothing but foolishness, this is the internet, not the church. Please note, I do not have any hard feelings against anyone.

I appreciate your concern Proto, but let me explain why the statement is bothersome to me. It has to do with effort. I've written out a great deal in this post, and some of the people even responded to what i actually said. I appreciate this a great deal, it implies a certain investment at the very least in the conversation itself.

What bothers me is though, upon perusing my post, someone might not quite like what I was saying, but instead of attempting to clarify or otherwise understand what I meant, they say, "You should talk to your priest." The implication of this statement is of course I may be near prelest, or my soul may be troubled more then the internet can provide a salve for. Obviously those are both very concerning issues, and I do not fault anyone for being concerned about them. On the other hand, it leaves me in a very murky position and quite frankly at a conversational disadvantage.

Not explaining your concern, when something is out there obviously out of place, is a very frustrating position to be in. I no longer have any context, I am unable to communicate with you, because I do not even know what is bothering you. So therefore I cannot even assuage any of your concerns, or for that matter, maybe clarify what I was actually trying to say or for you to be able to say affirmatively, "This is not what the Orthodox Church believes, here's why..."

I can get behind a statement like that! It is a clear notion of where the contention lies, I can read about it and think about it, and suddenly why you were bothered is clear, and there is light in the conversation, rather then the murkiness of unstated things like there was before.

This is why I am bothered by it, because a statement like that ends the conversation and doesn't even bother with an apology. I maintain I possess no hard feelings towards anyone who has said these things. I just like clarity.

PS. I really do appreciate the concern!