Ok, so back again with an update. Last post I mentioned starting from there that I will stop weed other than once a week on a Friday. It's been about 2 full weeks since then plus into the third week 3days in so about 2 and a half weeks. I have been doing ok, wouldn't say great though, as it's obviously not the easiest thing to do.
The first 'week' relapsed quite a bit smoked 4/7 when meant to b 1/7. Still an improvement on the 100days+ straight before that.
The second 'week' relapsed the same 4/7 but I thought at least I'm getting somewhere.
The third 'week' which is this week will hopefully be better still, I relapsed on the Saturday (doh!) but since then nothing and am not anticipating smoking at all till Friday, which means this week will be 2/7, I'll update whether this came true or not, but I think I am slowing gaining more mental control over things.
Also during the last week I decided to quit cigarettes for good, and moderate my alcohol intake ie quit other than in a social scene, not me getting trollied every night (at least 10 beers/shots etc) before I got stoned. Good thing is that tomorrow I will have gone 7 days without smoking or drinking even a drop.
Usually in the past when I have tried to quit weed (ie the past 2 years) I have just substituted it for alcohol and like mentioned by others in earlier posts, this is not quitting anything as I am just passing the addictive mindset onto another substance.
During these last couple of weeks there have been so many side effects from chronic insomnia, anger, angst, anxiety, tachycardia (rapid heart beat especially at night), sweating, headaches, not to mention the standard cravings for the drugs, coughing, which is my body trying to expel the tar and that sort of thing from my lungs, lack of apetitie, overall malaise, crazy crazy vivid dreams/nightmares the whole night (from the weed mainly I think, has happened before). For anyone here with the same issues I have found doing exercise, in my case running helps A LOT. I can actually feel the weed toxins sweating out of my forehead. (no I'm not crazy
) and I also feel more calm and less agitated. It feels as though recently my body has been hyper-agitated (if that's even a word) not having any depressants to calm it down.
It must seem stupid to go through some of this all over again every Saturday (after smoking on Friday), but I'm pretty sure that once a week will not be in my body enough to cause those symptoms above, and that It's the fact I've never really stopped at all for a couple years now alcohol included that's probably catching up on me, so I'm hoping these withdrawal side effects will slowly ease off even with myself drinking on occasion and smoking once a week. Well that's the plan anyway
.
Yes weed is illegal where I'm from and doing it even once a week is illegal, and I guess not exactly how a good person should act but I find the legal/illegal arguments too clouded by political forces to be correct/incorrect so not really looking for any comments on that side of things.
I haven't been to a meeting, I looked them up even found out where the buildings where, but like stelow said, I'm not really sure if they are right for me, especially in the city I live and the other people attending at the meetings... I am trying through just mental strength (mine isn't the best), and through the support of my partner, another friend and this forum. It seems to be going ok, I always expected to relapse, as that was the case on all previous attempts at quitting my extreme use. This time I just thought I'd accept the relapse deal with it move on and try again the next day. It has been working for me.
On a side note, being off these substances has really opened my eyes to the world how large it is how wonderful and diverse it is. Especially nature seems to be almost magical. I guess God is within all these things and I was stupid to be clouded and missing out on all the world has to offer locked in a room drinking and smoking till I died I guess, I didn't even have a job due to the recession and that kind of made things worse as you can do that all day everyday and you never have to be sober or anything to face anyone or anything.
Thanks for the help so far.