This is very true... it's all I've been able to do lately but to say "Lord have mercy." I can't get much more out.
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I hate my life.
- Thread starter HandmaidenOfGod
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This is very true... it's all I've been able to do lately but to say "Lord have mercy." I can't get much more out.
heart of peace
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Handmaiden, you are certainly in my prayers. Your situation sounds very difficult.
Have you figured out a plan of action to improve your way of living so that you can once again strike out on your own? While it may not change your situation now, working on the ability to get out of a situation can at times be comforting during those darker times in difficult situations.
Have you figured out a plan of action to improve your way of living so that you can once again strike out on your own? While it may not change your situation now, working on the ability to get out of a situation can at times be comforting during those darker times in difficult situations.
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Dear MsDahl,
Thank you for your prayers. They are coveted and appreciated.
At this time I have about 3 1/2 more years before I graduate college. This timeline is all contingent on the fact that a) I don't need to repeat a course and b) I am able to go to school full time straight through.
Once I graduate, the idea is to get a job as a teacher, and hopefully shortly thereafter move out.
As the timeline is so uncertain, right now I try to put my focus on graduating. (I have a mental picture of me in the cap and gown at the Rutgers graduation ceremony!)
(See, there I am, walking to get my degree!)
So that is the plan as of today. It may change, it may bend as needs require it to do so, but that's the plan.
For Christmas I am going down to Richmond for a week and a half to visit with my sister, then I am going to Atlanta for a week for a wedding and to visit with all my old friends. I think this will do me some good.
Thanks again for your prayers!
In XC,
Maureen
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katherine2001
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These dark times hurt - and we wonder when they will come to an end .
Life is never static
Prayers that you find your way out of this .
Having said that - at times like these prayer becomes hard , my prayer life is still not what it should be . All I can do , and do, is ask for mercy - for myself , for those around me and leave it in His hands.
My SF and another priest [ who is helping me enormously ] just keep reinforcing this.
I read once that if you don't feel you can pray, to just sit in your prayer corner. If nothing else, it reminds you that you are not alone in all of your pain and depression--the Trinity, the Theotokos, your Guardian Angel and all the other angels, and the saints are all around you, and prayers are going up for you, even if you can't pray. My prayer life isn't all that great either--it isn't what it should be. Maybe we can encourage each other in this.
Handmaiden of God, my thoughts are with you. I pray that a solution will be found to your family situation. Have you talked with your priest/spiritual father about this? Does he have any ideas?
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This is a good suggestion. Thank you.
Prayer.
He said I'm dealing with an irrational person, so not to reason with her, and when she starts with me to just say "God bless you" and walk away. Unfortunately what she does a lot of times is she calls my father to file a complaint with him. My response to him was "If she has a complaint with me, let her speak to me about it like and adult, not go through you like a child."
He just wants peace.
So, I lock myself in my room. I leave my room as little as possible but to go to school. When I leave the house, I stay out for as long as I can.
I've had to make myself very small.
As a person who is gregarious, chatty, and outgoing by nature, it's been very difficult.
In addition to this there is a social factor. When I moved away from New Jersey 2 years ago, my friends moved on with their lives and many have gotten married or are in relationships.
There is no one my age at Church, and I don't have the money to join a bunch of new clubs.
Although I respect Command0's suggestion of getting a part-time job, I make out better on Unemployment, and would prefer to collect the benefits as long as I can so I can go to school full time without having to work.
(Yes, I know many students do this, but going back after so many years, it strains the brain differently than when you're 18. Pulling an "all-nighter" isn't quite as easy as it was back then.)
So, this is where I am.
Alone in my room with my cat. Who snores.
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If the cat is a really helpful sort, the snoring will sound like the ison/drone of a favorite hymn, and you can chant along
LOL! Are you kidding?!
He sleeps on my bed with me, is tucked in with blankets, and then bites me when I try to pet him! Unappreciative B#$(%^&! LOL
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Sothron
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You have gotten some good advice already in the particulars of how to deal with her. I think most here know my relationship with my parents is hardly the best in the world. There really are times when all you can do is pray for someone and simply try to avoid them when they are being particularly unreasonable or rude.
Have you listened to ancient faith radio? It might be a comfort for you while in your room petting the kitty.
Have you listened to ancient faith radio? It might be a comfort for you while in your room petting the kitty.
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Paisius
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I know what it's like to feel hopeless. I am a recovering alcoholic and during the darkest times in detox, vomiting and having hallucinations, I wanted out as well. God gave me strength and He will give you strength as well. There is one verse that I repeated constantly during those times.
And He said unto me, "My grace is sufficient for thee, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Most gladly therefore will I glory rather in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Suffering can be for your salvation and the salvation of others. I am praying for you.
Yours in Christ
Joe
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katherine2001
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Joe, I really believe that suffering can be for our salvation and for the salvation of others. If nothing else, it gives me a compassion for others who are great sinners because I know from experience that it doesn't matter what you are and what you've done--with God, there is love and forgiveness. With God, you can change. He can take the mess and make something beautiful out of it. Handmaiden, don't hesitate to reach out to others to save your sanity too. Reach out to your priest, your fellow parishioners and to us. If nothing else, we can pray for you and give you love and compassion which may give you the strength to go on.
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Blackknight
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If I lived in the area I'd say you can come visit any time. Well, you can any way but it's a long trip.
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cassc
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It can be really hard if you don't currently have friends you can turn to in your area (I know this first hand) Although you are probably busy with school check out Meetup.com you find groups of people based on interests and geographical location. You can find activities that cost nothing (reading groups, walking groups- exercises is particularly good for you when you are feeling down, general social groups, etc.) people are inherently social and it sounds like you are especially social so I'm sure you could find a group you like.
PS as I type this I am in my room with my snoring cat but she she doesn't bite!
PS as I type this I am in my room with my snoring cat
but she she doesn't bite!
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Thank you for your story. I guess this is why it's so important to read scripture daily; to be reminded of little gems like these.
Katherine,
Although I'm not afraid to reach out to others, I'm also reaching a point where I'm just tired of talking about it. I'm tired of hearing myself. I'm tired of the story. I want a new song to play in my head.
If I lived in the area I'd say you can come visit any time. Well, you can any way but it's a long trip.
LOL, while I will be in Atlanta in a few weeks, I don't see myself in Jackson, MI anytime soon. Thanks for the offer though!
If you're ever in Jersey.... well, if you're ever in Jersey keep heading to NYC. This way Greg and I can meet you for coffee and you'll miss the insanity in Jersey! lol
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Good idea! I'll have to do that.
PS as I type this I am in my room with my snoring cat
Yes, most people have nice cuddly kitties, I just happen to have one with attitude!!!!
"I am Nike, hear me snore!" is his motto!
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