How to abstain from kissing???

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HisLittleHazelnut

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What is your definition of maturity?

I started my own business when I was 12 years old. I started working with men doing a mans job when I was 13. I have run multiple successful internet business. When I was 15 I owned my own internet electronics store with $160,000 in consignment. I have moved on from all of that to pursue a better career. I homeschool myself. I interact with adults like an adult would. I make better decisions than most adults would. I am not a normal 17 year old.

That's all fine and dandy that you have the mental capacity to have done all this. It has prepared you to get married early, possibly.

The fact is, if this is the case, I'm certain you could live on your own outside of your parents house. Then you could make your own rules for your relationship.

You could tell them what you just told me, that you've been doing a man's work for years, and then move out.

But something in you still wants to cling to your parents, you are not ready for independent life yet, and as such you are not ready for a serious commitment yet.

For some, the financial part is the hardest. For you, it's breaking away from your parents. You are still their child. A child that has done things that could support them, and may be in every other way a man, but in this area, you are still a child.


Honestly, if I had done all you had by your age, I would have lickety split from my family's house, realizing I could take care of myself and could be an independent adult making my OWN decisions.
 
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Melethiel

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I am sorry, I hate to break it to you, but EVERY 17 year old thinks they are as mature as adults.

A few years down the line, they discover the truth of who they are now vs. what they were then, and find that they weren't mature at all.


Get ready for your awakening.
I'd agree with you here...I was definitely a lot more mature at 17 than most - junior in university, pulling a double major, did research projects, interacted well with adults. Looking back, however, I was definitely not mature. It took moving out, starting med school, and going through some trying medical issues to achieve that.
 
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alfrodull

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The law means nothing when it comes to an individual's maturity. (Although, for what it's worth, you're above the age of consent in most places.) It also means nothing when it comes to morality. There are many things that are immoral that are legal and illegal acts that are morally fine in some situations. Of course, you'd be doing nothing illegal by kissing, as there is no law saying you have to obey your parents. Again, depending on where you live, you probably wouldn't be doing anything illegal by having sex.
 
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The Nihilist

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Stereotypical statement is stereotypical.

84
 
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coastie

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wow...im glad I was raised in a liberal home...not being able to kiss would seriously detriment my ability to show affection.

Flowers are great, chocolates, other gifts, time spent, movies watched (all tangible and monetary in their own rights)...nothing conveys love like a meaningful kiss imho. Oh and it's free...and the best things in life are free.

No kidding, my in-laws are French. They except two kisses the second you walk in the door and two on your way out, even if you don't know them. :D
 
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adamjthompson

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Seriously? Where do you live, the town in Footloose?

Nope! ;)

To the OP: Ignore the people who are suggesting that you are immature since you are obeying your parents in your relationship. A true man submits himself to all lawful authority. When you're young, that includes obeying your parents. :) There is nothing at all immature about obeying God's command to respect, honor, and obey your parents.
 
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The Nihilist

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Nope! ;)

To the OP: Ignore the people who are suggesting that you are immature since you are obeying your parents in your relationship. A true man submits himself to all lawful authority. When you're young, that includes obeying your parents. :) There is nothing at all immature about obeying God's command to respect, honor, and obey your parents.
Immaturity is a necessary precondition of obedience, particularly to parents. Maturity demands that it be allowed to make its own decision. Again, obedience is the virtue of slaves and children, and responsibility is the virtue of adults and free men and women.
 
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xxJaydie

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Nope! ;)

To the OP: Ignore the people who are suggesting that you are immature since you are obeying your parents in your relationship. A true man submits himself to all lawful authority. When you're young, that includes obeying your parents. :) There is nothing at all immature about obeying God's command to respect, honor, and obey your parents.

So true!!

I really wonder which Bible all these Christians on 'Christian Forums' read, because it's very obvious by God's standard that we are to 'obey our parents' and we are under their authority until we start a family of our own through marriage. Even Jesus obeyed his mother as he turned the water to wine!

So good on you man for obeying your parents. :) It's a great start in a life of obeying God - who is ALWAYS right!
 
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The Nihilist

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So true!!

I really wonder which Bible all these Christians on 'Christian Forums' read, because it's very obvious by God's standard that we are to 'obey our parents' and we are under their authority until we start a family of our own through marriage. Even Jesus obeyed his mother as he turned the water to wine!

So good on you man for obeying your parents. :) It's a great start in a life of obeying God - who is ALWAYS right!
I'm sure you'll forgive those of us who don't think an 18 year old is an authority on what constitutes maturity.
 
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marshallII

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Oh and my girlfriend and I kiss for a long long time and I think we have it under control still. It takes 2. It takes some backbone and pride in yourself. I aint doing it to please anyone but my own self. If I choose to have a relationship that is considered unChristian then I'll take it to God.
 
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Sunset2009

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I'm glad I didn't wait too...for one, it positively proved to me that he's the right guy. Plus, we're long distance, so we don't get to see each other that often. It's nice to have a bit of affection when we do.

I know this is an old thread, but someone revived it, and I wanted to reply to this post, so I shall. :p

If it took something physical for you to figure out he was the "right guy," then... honestly that's a little sad. Because relationships are not about the physical. Yes, it is an important part of marriage, but really, physical stuff should not be a contributing factor to if someone is "right" for you or not. I mean, how does one judge that anyway? He was the perfect kisser? I don't get it.

In my next relationship, I would be more than happy if all the physical stuff was left out of it until marriage. I've gone too far physically before, and honestly, that's all the relationships started revolving around. Pleasing our physical desires. I mean, I really didn't even like the last guy romantically. o_O

Connecting emotionally (not too much, too fast though, of course) and really growing spiritually together and testing your compatibility should be the main focuses in a relationship. Nothing at all physical.
 
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Melethiel

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If it's a romantic relationship, there has to be a physical component to it. A relationship without a physical component is a "friendship". You can be as emotionally and spiritually intimate as you want - if there's no physical attraction, a marriage is doomed to fail. Do you really want to wait until you marry to find out there's zero attraction?

I'm not saying a relationship should be ONLY physical - obviously, spiritual and emotional compatibility is very important. But it's a necessary part of it.
 
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The Nihilist

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FreeBird914

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Ok, I'm seeing people in this thread pushing off their opinions on why this
guy SHOULD kiss his girlfriend.
He didn't ask your opinion on kissing, he asked for advice on how to
abstain from it. I'm not one to up and say something like this, but
in my humble opinion, if you have no advice or encouragement to offer
this young man, your opinion is irrelevant.








In other news! 8D
Hi there, pleasehelp55! My name is Candice. I'm 20 years old and
I've never been kissed by choice. I'm saving my first kiss for the altar.
I'll give you my background here. This is optional reading, haha! :D


[BEGIN]
My parents didn't shove purity down my throat or anything like that.
They did inform me of it and were able to back themselves up with
scripture and then delivered the rules of the house. They appealed to
my heart and relationship with God.
Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Corinthians 5, Ephesians 5:1-3... the list goes on.

My mom also brought 1 Timothy 5:1-2 to my attention at 14 years old:
"Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger
men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as
sisters, with all purity."

Another scripture came to mind where Jesus said,
"...Whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed
adultery with her already in his heart." (Matthew 5:28)
I thought, "If guys are already... uhhh... 'driven...' :sorry:
wouldn't that mean that kissing would insite lust all the more? How could
it possibly be an expression of love to cause a brother to stumble?"
(Because, after all, a Christian guy is your brother until marriage vows are
exchanged before God)
So, based on the biblical advice I received at 14 years old, I chose
to save my virginity and my first kiss for my future husband; and after
I turned 18 (which, by the rules of the house, I was then old enough
to date and make decisions for myself), without any thought or
consideration, I chose to continue in my decision to wait for marriage. =)
[END]





Advice:

Pleasehelp55, your desire to honor your parents by obeying their rules
is awesome! By honoring your parents, you're honoring God. I can see
that you know your parents are only out for your best interest; and
that's awesome! You realize your parents aren't out to be killjoys. You're
very mature for seeing that.
But, your parents should have given you the reasons why they gave you
that rule so you could fully understand why abstaining is really best for you.
So, I would go to your parents and ask them why; and study the Word for
yourself, too! Ask God to show you the truth in His word and He will.
Seek and you'll find. =)

Also, weigh the pros and cons.
You're a guy, so you know how you're wired! ;P
Kissing is very intimate. It's already difficult for you to refrain from that.
The next level of physical intimacy is sex. How much more difficult will it
make it for you to refrain from relations until marriage if you take step
one towards physical intimacy at 18 years old? (2 Timothy 2:22)


I hope this helps! :thumbsup:
Candice

"Let no man despise your youth; but be an example of the believers,
in word, in conversation, in charity (love), in spirit, in faith, in purity."
-1 Timothy 4:12
 
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