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Dan_09 · Aug 29, 2009

Hi, this is my first post on here. I abuse marijuana and alcohol and cigarettes every day. I've been doing this for about 3 years now and it's ruining everything I can't stop it which is the worst part, they say it's easy to stop. I don't have a specific denomination although went to an Episcopalian school. I think I may abuse these things because a lot is missing on my spiritual side and I need to try and find what's right for me. I really want to stop this abusive cycle and focus on something positive for once.

chilehed · Aug 30, 2009

Welcome to the forums, Dan.

I have a long history of drug abuse, but by the grace of God I've been clean for over 22 years. If you're interested in hearing a bit about it, go here: http://www.christianforums.com/t5383728/

I suggest that you get involved with the Narcotics Anonymous fellowship in your area. Here's a link that can help you find listings of meetings in your area; toward the bottom is a list of different countries and states in the US: Regional and Area Links

You don't have to use anymore. I've stopped using, have lost the desire to use, and have found a new way to live... and if I can do it by the grace of God, anyone can.

BlessEwe · Aug 30, 2009

Amen chilehed! Good to see you here again. :wave:

Welcome Dan_09! You mentioned

they say it's easy to stop

I am not sure who said this, but no it is not easy. This is why we have support groups such as AA or NA or those like this. We support one another, and work on the reasons why we use, using the 12 step program. Because it is not an easy path many have died in their addiction.
The 1st step is

We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable

It seems as though you are at this step, which is wonderful.
chilehed provided some links and info for you to check out, perhaps go to a meeting and reach out for help, you will be surprised how many will support you. and how much each of us have in common even though we all come from different walks of life.
We are so glad you are here, keep coming back!

Chad Prigmore · Sep 2, 2009

Hi Dan,

Great job coming forward with your problem. Most people never get the guts up to get that far. Do as the others have suggested and get to an AA or NA meeting. I was a coke head and alcoholic and AA helped save me, but God is the power that makes it happen, so whichever program seems the most comfortable is the way to go.

It's not always easy, but it's always worth it - and you get way more than you ever expected from sobriety.

If you want to check out a bit of my story, please read 365 X 17 = 6,205 at my blog TheEffectiveSpirit.net. If I can do it anyone can.

God bless and best of luck and please let us know how you're doing.

stelow · Sep 2, 2009

Dan.
I agree with what everyone has said, I have went back in forth with addiction for along time. I just gave up smoking pot in May of this year. I smoked pot for along time. I gave up the cigarettes about 8 years ago; alcohol and other drugs have been a problem for me too but I have gave them all up (except for coffee). God loves you so much just as you are and wants the best for your life, but the addictions just get in the way of that happening.

Dan_09 · Sep 3, 2009

Hi chilihed, thanks for the info, looked at your link to your story of 20years that sounds like a good place to be. I thought I might add that I also have done other drugs than weed alcohol and cigarettes, I've done acid, mushrooms, ritalin, e, bzp and mescaline in the past year or so, although I don't 'abuse' these as such and just wanted to try them, probably under 5times for each other than e. This is obviously not great as I can see where this is leading long term. I really had the drive to stop when I first posted the message and had tried a day or so off weed but then the next day right back on. I just can't seem to get past that first hurdle. The main things I live for are to get high/drunk and get more. It's sickening but even though I know this I can't seem to stop.

Jeffz · Sep 4, 2009

I really had the drive to stop when I first posted the message and had tried a day or so off weed but then the next day right back on. I just can't seem to get past that first hurdle. The main things I live for are to get high/drunk and get more. It's sickening but even though I know this I can't seem to stop.[/QUOTE]

Sounds like you are where I was at over 3 years ago. In a place I didn't want to be in, hated what I was doing, but had no answers. Couldn't even look myself in the eye, I was lost and desperate. One night in the middle of using I finally cried out to God. "Lord you know that I do not want to continue on..but I don't know how to stop! I NEED YOUR HELP!! The answer came two days later, through some amazing circumstances. I found myself locked up in jail. It took several days before I realized that God had heard my prayers. That was the beginning of my recovery. I tried to read novels while in jail but couldn't concentrate. I finally stopped trying to read novels and picked up the Word of God. I found that I could read the bible without loosing my concentration. One night I was reading Romans chapter 7 and a light went on in my heart. The Lord spoke to me through the writing of Paul and from that night I began to learn of the Spirit of the living God. True revelation began to renew my mind. So I pray that God will reveal Himself to you and set your free from the bondage of anything that would keep you from the truth, Jesus Christ.
Jeff

chilehed · Sep 4, 2009

Dan_09 said:
...I really had the drive to stop when I first posted the message and had tried a day or so off weed but then the next day right back on. I just can't seem to get past that first hurdle. The main things I live for are to get high/drunk and get more. It's sickening but even though I know this I can't seem to stop.

Hi, Dan, glad you came back. This sounds very familiar. I tried for years to stop, and even with my firmest resolution and greatest willpower I couldn't manage to do it for more than a day or two.

Addiction was more than just the drugs, it was also about my relationships and the way the ones I know how to have reinforced my disease (and vice-versa). I've found that recovering from addiciton is also about my relationships as well: in order to recover I need to become part of a community that's ordered toward recovery. That's why I strongly suggest you join a 12-step fellowship such as NA. I'm absolutely certain that without such support, I'd be using today if I wasn't dead from it.

Gotta go, I'm packing to leave town for the weekend. Please go to a meeting, get phone numbers from the guys (and use them) and whatever you do don't get high.

Dan_09 · Sep 4, 2009

Ok, so I said yesterday was going to be the day where I stopped, I didn't have a smoke even though I was in the same room with people smoking and offering to me. I'm so glad it's over, that first day is so crazy! Although later that night I got offered a quarter tab of acid with a friend when we were out which i took which probably wasn't the best idea ever but I guess it made me not think about weed. I don't find my use of drugs such as acid etc to be my problem as I hardly ever do them maybe a couple times a year, weed is THE problem, before yesterday it was at least 100 days straight, and 2 and a half years almost non-stop.

I can see where going to the meetings will help but I'm really not sure whether I'm ready to jump that far into it (as yet), and want to see if I can do it this time. I finally explained everything to my partner who was unaware of the extent of my use (I got very good at lying, hiding things, scheming etc etc). We agreed that as as for now I should try just once a week on a Friday. This may be the wrong choice, but I am not exactly ready to distance myself from all my friends who (mostly) smoke, and having an opportunity once a week to do this could be good to ease me out of my habit and stoner friends.

I can see that at the end of the day I probably should just quit outright, but I don't want to never drink again or never smoke again, I just want to be able to do it on the odd ocaission. In the long run I will not smoke every week on a Friday, at the moment I just think this could be a good way to ease myself into it, and with the support of my partner I think I can do it, as breaking promises to her is worse than to myself. I have arranged to contact her everynight at a specific time to "check-in".

Thanks for the support everyone, and dont hesitate to post if you think what I'm doing won't work! Have a good trip chilehed thanks for the advice.

Jeffz · Sep 5, 2009

Sounds so famillar I also tried many ways to 'control' my using and 'control' my life, moved, changed relationships, changed drugs, tried drinking instead, it would help for a short period, but eventually I'd be right back to where I didn't want to be OUT OF CONTROL. I had to be able to admit that I was bound by my addiction. Then I had to ask for help and be willing to take thier advice. I don't know about you but I hated what I had done to myself. I would ask questions to God like "why me?" or tell myself if I could just get rid of the drug addiction I would be ok. The only problem was I didn't know how to stop. Out of frustration and degridadtion and a moment of clarity I prayed to God, actually cried out to Him. "God you know that I don't want to keep doing what I am doing, I just don't know how. Please help me cause I can't do this anymore" I couldn't even look myself in the eye. When I would shave, which wasn't very often, I couldn't look myself in the eye. I was afraid of what I would see, the truth. I didn't want to see what a 'shmuck', loser, etc. That was what I really needed to do though, get honest with myself, it takes courage to really examine myself. I had to ask God to search my heart and reveal who Jeff 'really' was. It wasn't easy, but neccessary. If you really want to change your life I recommend NA, but you have to be selective of who you follow, look for someone who actually practices what they speak out side of a meeting. It is real easy to 'say the right things' through rote, but quite another to walk it out in our life.

One man set free,
Jeffz

BlessEwe · Sep 5, 2009

Ummm, so taking acid helped you not think about pot for awhile.

This is call the obsession of the mind, as you may have seen us talking about it here. The things we try and tell ourselves so we can still use a substance. Been there done that.. It all comes down to you liking the high feeling and are trying every which way to continue on, this is classic.

Abstaining from everything unless it is prescribed by a professional who knows your struggle with abusing is the only way you will be able to

stop this abusive cycle and focus on something positive for once.

Finding some kind of support with people who understand the disease, and by remaining sober you may find a deeper spiritual connection that you are searching for.
I do feel God is working in you and tugging at you to reach out to Him and reach out for others help.
Its a mind game we continue to play so we don't have to give up control. I found out after I finally let go and let God I began to live. It is a process and can be scary at first, but if you check out a NA/AA meeting you may find just how much you have in common and also some wonderful support.

chilehed · Sep 7, 2009

Dan_09 said:
...I don't find my use of drugs such as acid etc to be my problem as I hardly ever do them maybe a couple times a year, weed is THE problem,...

That's the problem I always had with self-deception...it's hard for me to see it in myself.

I found that my problem wasn't a specific drug, it's addiction, a disease that affects every area of my life. The drug abuse is merely a symptom, but it's essential to stop using drugs - ALL drugs - in order to begin recovery. But I don't worry about the rest of my life, I just take it one day at a time.

Dan_09 said:
...Thanks for the support everyone, and dont hesitate to post if you think what I'm doing won't work! Have a good trip chilehed thanks for the advice.

I've never seen this work for anyone, but I've sure seen people die trying it. I wouldn't bet a lead penny that this strategy will be successful in beating addition.

If I'm right, there's a chair waiting for you in NA. I pray you don't die before making it in.

stelow · Sep 10, 2009

I've been to the meetings and I was totally lost in them, people were not friendly. It was like going to a big church with lots of people but no one's friendly. You definitely will have be the type of person who tries to be friendly because I felt like a total outcast. Even if you try, you could still be rejected for the most part, at least that's been my experience.

If not for my relationship with Jesus, I would probably be dead from using drugs.

chilehed · Sep 10, 2009

stelow said:
I've been to the meetings and I was totally lost in them, people were not friendly. It was like going to a big church with lots of people but no one's friendly. You definitely will have be the type of person who tries to be friendly because I felt like a total outcast. Even if you try, you could still be rejected for the most part, at least that's been my experience...

I'm sorry that happened to you. It wasn't my experience, and I try to make sure it doesn't happen at the meetings I attend.

Try not to take it personally, the other people there are just as flawed as we are and I'm sure they weren't intentionally ignoring you. Small meetings tend to be a lot more intimate than large ones.

stelow · Sep 12, 2009

chilehed said:
I'm sorry that happened to you. It wasn't my experience, and I try to make sure it doesn't happen at the meetings I attend.

Try not to take it personally, the other people there are just as flawed as we are and I'm sure they weren't intentionally ignoring you. Small meetings tend to be a lot more intimate than large ones.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that certain personalities don't respond well to these meetings, I was one of those people who just felt uncomfortable being there. I have went to the meetings voluntarily and have been court ordered to go to them.

In my life the answer to being set free from my addictions was by indetifying myself with the new me in Christ Jesus.

Jeffz · Sep 16, 2009

For those who think meetings are not needed. I do not feel that I need to go to meeting but I still go. The reason being that there are many newcomers at meetings that need to hear that there is a way out. I find that if I go prepared that God can give me the right words to speak that cause others to be drawn to understand about the One true God. Unfortunatly I have to be as wise a serpent and meek as a dove when I speak for there are ones at meetings that do not like when Jesus is mentioned. That is not a problem as I have many come up after a meeting to ask about my program and that opens the door to give my testimony of Jesus setting me free and that if they want to have a relationship with God they must go through the one who died upon the cross to open the way to life and truth.
one man set free,
Jeffrey

stelow · Sep 16, 2009

What would prevent predatory sorts of people from joining and then manipulating others? Many new people going to these meetings are not using the best judgement in the first place, so they would be perfect targets.

BlessEwe · Sep 16, 2009

stelow said:
What would prevent predatory sorts of people from joining and then manipulating others? Many new people going to these meetings are not using the best judgement in the first place, so they would be perfect targets.

Actually they are sober, so I would think these people be more dangerous in the bars.
But your right though people do get taken advantage of.

chilehed · Sep 16, 2009

stelow said:
What would prevent predatory sorts of people from joining and then manipulating others? Many new people going to these meetings are not using the best judgment in the first place, so they would be perfect targets.

You think it's better to run with a crowd that's oriented toward using dope? There are fewer predatory and manipulative people in a crack house than at an NA meeting?

Sure, there are sick people in NA, that's why we're there, and you have to be on guard for those who take advantage of the emotional weakness of others. It's referred to as "13th stepping", and I was quickly warned that I should stay out of relationships for at least a year and to particularly avoid anyone who was sick enough to hit on me when I was new. Does everyone take that counsel? - of course not, but it's not because they're babes in the wood, it's because they want to get sex.

stelow · Sep 16, 2009

chilehed said:
You think it's better to run with a crowd that's oriented toward using dope? There are fewer predatory and manipulative people in a crack house than at an NA meeting?

Sure, there are sick people in NA, that's why we're there, and you have to be on guard for those who take advantage of the emotional weakness of others. It's referred to as "13th stepping", and I was quickly warned that I should stay out of relationships for at least a year and to particularly avoid anyone who was sick enough to hit on me when I was new. Does everyone take that counsel? - of course not, but it's not because they're babes in the wood, it's because they want to get sex.

I think you were very clear in making your point. I'm not sure about your last sentence when you say: "it's because they want to get sex." I'm not sure how you would know that to always be true. Does the crack head who's been selling herself for money to buy crack, just want to get sex?

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