Feeling Broken.. But want to continue Gods Work x

Ames x · May 24, 2009

Hi there

,

I just stumbled accross this site and barely know my way around. But I am desperate for some biblical advice from non-bias brothers and sisters.. So appreciate you reading x I'm sorry if this is a little long..

I am humbly praying for a sister in Christ who has left me feeling completely broken

and unconfident about continueing in the Ministry which we both share. I have tried to ignore the feelings of exclusion and very competative remarks that have come from this sister. It has been hurting me so much over the past 18 months that I have sought out-side councelling as I have not wanted to cause any trouble within our church family. But now that we are on the same childrens ministry team it has become a serious issue that I can no longer ignore.

A new pastor has arrived at our church and as his wife is also on the same ministry team. She has unfortuately seen that there are issues between us. As I feel completely intimidated by this person I have felt unable to confront her in person and after months of putting it off I wrote her a letter on Tuesday. A less intense one on Wednesday. Prayed about it on Thursday and then wrote a final one on Friday. I called her and said that i had been struggling and that I had written her a letter and asked if it would be ok to put it in her letter box. I didn't want her to be suprised by it completely coming out of the blue. I left a lot of trivial things out of the letter but let her know that I was feeling really hurt by some pretty nasty things that have gone on - Which all started when I was barely even introduced to her.

She did not say anything to me at church but when I was leaving her young son said something quite odd to me.. So I thought it best to call her later on and offer to get together if she would like to talk. Her husband answered and said she was busy.. So I left a message saying that if she would like to get together I would be free the next few nights.

I feel that I have done everything I can to resolve things. And now need to take a step back.. The pastors wife is aware that I have given a letter and an offer to talk. The Pastors wife and I run the childrens ministry on a Tuesday and this sister runs the Wednesday Group - Some asspects of the ministry though are done as a team (though this person does try to exclude me from alot of the runnings when I am also available and willing to serve).

I am not feeling very confident about serving this week with everything that is going on.. and am considering saying to the PW that I may need to have this week off - Although I have prepared birthday cakes and things for some mums who attend and it wouldn't be so nice to miss out - But perhaps it is the best thing for me to do?? What would you do in this situation? I just dont see how I can work with this person anymore when she has made no attempt to resolve things after I have approached her.. Its not like we share the same ministry day but we are on the same team..

Thank you so much for reading.. I would appreciate any replys.

With love in Christ,
Ames x

wonderwaleye · May 24, 2009

Ames x said:
Hi there ,

I just stumbled accross this site and barely know my way around. But I am desperate for some biblical advice from non-bias brothers and sisters.. So appreciate you reading x I'm sorry if this is a little long..

I am humbly praying for a sister in Christ who has left me feeling completely broken and unconfident about continueing in the Ministry which we both share. I have tried to ignore the feelings of exclusion and very competative remarks that have come from this sister. It has been hurting me so much over the past 18 months that I have sought out-side councelling as I have not wanted to cause any trouble within our church family. But now that we are on the same childrens ministry team it has become a serious issue that I can no longer ignore.

A new pastor has arrived at our church and as his wife is also on the same ministry team. She has unfortuately seen that there are issues between us. As I feel completely intimidated by this person I have felt unable to confront her in person and after months of putting it off I wrote her a letter on Tuesday. A less intense one on Wednesday. Prayed about it on Thursday and then wrote a final one on Friday. I called her and said that i had been struggling and that I had written her a letter and asked if it would be ok to put it in her letter box. I didn't want her to be suprised by it completely coming out of the blue. I left a lot of trivial things out of the letter but let her know that I was feeling really hurt by some pretty nasty things that have gone on - Which all started when I was barely even introduced to her.

She did not say anything to me at church but when I was leaving her young son said something quite odd to me.. So I thought it best to call her later on and offer to get together if she would like to talk. Her husband answered and said she was busy.. So I left a message saying that if she would like to get together I would be free the next few nights.

I feel that I have done everything I can to resolve things. And now need to take a step back.. The pastors wife is aware that I have given a letter and an offer to talk. The Pastors wife and I run the childrens ministry on a Tuesday and this sister runs the Wednesday Group - Some asspects of the ministry though are done as a team (though this person does try to exclude me from alot of the runnings when I am also available and willing to serve).

I am not feeling very confident about serving this week with everything that is going on.. and am considering saying to the PW that I may need to have this week off - Although I have prepared birthday cakes and things for some mums who attend and it wouldn't be so nice to miss out - But perhaps it is the best thing for me to do?? What would you do in this situation? I just dont see how I can work with this person anymore when she has made no attempt to resolve things after I have approached her.. Its not like we share the same ministry day but we are on the same team..

Thank you so much for reading.. I would appreciate any replys.

With love in Christ,
Ames x

You may not like what I have to say but it's a TRUTH!

You are now deep into church games where no one comes out a winner.

You have lost the reason a worldly church is there for. That is to feed the MILK to babes in CHRIST. No more NO less.

You need to stop this right now and GIVE IT ALL TO GOD

GOD demands that you give HIM your WHOLE heart, mind, strength, and soul. That means you go in prayer and tell GOD that you will do this and from that moment on seek GOD in all your decisions. After this is complete GOD will know. For HE searches the heart. HE will then send HIS HOLY SPIRIT ( ANOINTED-BORN AGAIN- SAVED ). For it is then that you shall receive the MISSION GOD has for just you and supply all your needs, even what you have not the ability to have.

Pick up GOD'S ROAD MAP to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD ( BIBLE ) and start reading the NEW TESTIMENT till the next time you read it you will already know what IT'S going to say. For then it's locked in your heart to draw from for the rest of your life. You will NEVER be sorry you did.

Now if you were to say you had already done that you would be telling yourself a lie. For the very fact of what's going on right now

Let's look at GOD'S WORD:

Ephesians
Chapter 5

6 Let no one deceive you with empty arguments, for because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the disobedient.

7 So do not be associated with them.

8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light,

9 for light produces every kind of goodness and righteousness and truth.

10 Try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.

11 Take no part in the fruitless works of darkness; rather expose them,

12 for it is shameful even to mention the things done by them in secret;

13 but everything exposed by the light becomes visible,

14 for everything that becomes visible is light. Therefore, it says: "Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light."

2 Timothy
Chapter 2:

22 So turn from youthful desires and pursue righteousness, faith,love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord with purity of heart.

23 Avoid foolish and ignorant debates, for you know that they breed quarrels.

24 A slave of the Lord should not quarrel, but should be gentle with everyone, able to teach, tolerant,

25 correcting opponents with kindness. It may be that God will grant them repentance that leads to knowledge of the truth,

26 and that they may return to their senses out of the devil's snare, where they are entrapped by him, for his will.

Titus
Chapter 3

9 Avoid foolish arguments, genealogies, rivalries, and quarrels about the law, for they are useless and futile.

10 After a first and second warning, break off contact with a heretic,

11 realizing that such a person is perverted and sinful and stands self-condemned.

Let me show you just what you are missing as a result of your actions:

1 John
Chapter 2

20 But you have the anointing that comes from the holy one, and you all have knowledge.

21 I write to you not because you do not know the truth but because you do, and because every lie is alien to the truth.

26 I write you these things about those who would deceive you.

27 As for you, the anointing that you received from him remains in you, so that you do not need anyone to teach you. But his anointing teaches you about everything and is true and not false; just as it taught you, remain in him.

FOR this is when you start receiving the REAL FOOD!

Do yourself a BIG FAVOR and Start right now!!!

Written in LOVE

steven

ephraimanesti · May 24, 2009

Ames x said:
Thank you so much for reading.. I would appreciate any replys.

With love in Christ,
Ames x

MY SISTER,

You appear to have done what you need to do--now allow God to work His will regarding the outcome.

You state that you have a ministry in the Childrens' Program. Those who have ministries, by definition, have been called to the work by the Holy Spirit and are guided and empowered to perform the work by the Holy Spirit. i don't quite see how one person's negative attitude could thwart the work of the Spirit and cause you to have to abandon your calling by taking time off under fire. Perhaps a little less drama and a little more prayer may be in order. Put on your God-provided armor and get to work!

A BOND-SLAVE/FRIEND/BROTHER OF OUR LORD, GOD, SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST,
ephraim

DreamsAreFree · May 25, 2009

I know how much these conflicts can hurt. When you give your everything to a ministry it's hard to walk away. How long has this struggle been going on for? I think you are right to take some time out before you make any decisions whether to continue or not. A break might bring some clarity. I'm certainly not endorsing giving up too easily but I would also caution you not to stay too long in the hopes it will get better. I did this once and it was destructive to me and my family. In the end I went to work for another ministry and it has been very positive. I now only wish I had stepped away sooner.

My suggestion: take leave, take it to God and spend a good part of that leave in solitude, maybe seek some counsel from a mature Christian outside the fellowship, and see what God says to you in that time. It's not easy.

Another thought: sometimes God ends things to move you into something even bigger

Ames x · May 25, 2009

Steven, you say 'I have lost the reason a worldy church is there for. That is to feed the MILK to babes in CHRIST. No more NO less.' And I guess this may be where I am going wrong.. you see, I see our church as SO much more. We live in a very isolated region in the outback with no family for miles and miles - We are very isolated. With young babies at home and having left my family and friends miles away for my husbands work - I see my church as my love and support and even an adopted physical family. (We have a wonderful opportunity to reach out to other young families in the community here who are also in the same position and tell them about Christ). This is why it has hurt so much that my attempts to befriend this sister have been attacked and rejected. I may be nieve, but I have never had ANY conflict at church before or had someone that I HAVEN'T been able to befriend. It was only when this sister moved to town 18 months that these unusual things started happening. Thank you for the extra scripture refs though Steven, as there was a few I hadn't thought of.

DreamsAreFree and Ephraim.. thank you for being so encouraging and for helping me to focus on what is really important.. I am trying to just "Be Still and know that HE is God" passing it ALL over to him.. and as you said Ephraim - Do a bit more praying x DreamsAreFree.. your words have been so helpful to me in what has been a very teary day.. It is difficult in such a tiny town to seek cousel from another mature Christian outside the fellowship - So thank you so very much.

wonderwaleye · May 25, 2009

Ames x said:
Steven, you say 'I have lost the reason a worldy church is there for. That is to feed the MILK to babes in CHRIST. No more NO less.' And I guess this may be where I am going wrong.. you see, I see our church as SO much more. We live in a very isolated region in the outback with no family for miles and miles - We are very isolated. With young babies at home and having left my family and friends miles away for my husbands work - I see my church as my love and support and even an adopted physical family. (We have a wonderful opportunity to reach out to other young families in the community here who are also in the same position and tell them about Christ). This is why it has hurt so much that my attempts to befriend this sister have been attacked and rejected. I may be nieve, but I have never had ANY conflict at church before or had someone that I HAVEN'T been able to befriend. It was only when this sister moved to town 18 months that these unusual things started happening. Thank you for the extra scripture refs though Steven, as there was a few I hadn't thought of.

DreamsAreFree and Ephraim.. thank you for being so encouraging and for helping me to focus on what is really important.. I am trying to just "Be Still and know that HE is God" passing it ALL over to him.. and as you said Ephraim - Do a bit more praying x DreamsAreFree.. your words have been so helpful to me in what has been a very teary day.. It is difficult in such a tiny town to seek cousel from another mature Christian outside the fellowship - So thank you so very much.

You may of misunderstood part of my post. When you are feeding the MILK it calls for having compassion, love, support and to GO FORTH UNTO THE ENTIRE WORLD AND PREACH THE GOSPEL as JESUS COMMANDED us to do.

But if we are to feed the MILK for babes in CHRIST we are bound by GOD'S WORD. Following GOD'S WORD will take a real load off your shoulders. This women will no longer be a problem to you because you know GOD has everything under control. To heed to this persons actions only detracts you from your MISSION:

EphesiansChapter 6

10 Finally, draw your strength from the Lord and from his mighty power.

11 Put on the armor of God so that you may be able to stand firm against the tactics of the devil.

12For our struggle is not with flesh and blood but with the principalities, with the powers, with the world rulers of this present darkness, with the evil spirits in the heavens.

13 Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground.

14 So stand fast with your loins girded in truth, clothed with righteousness as a breastplate,

15 and your feet shod in readiness for the gospel of peace.

Take a deep breath and feel the strength and power that GOD calls for us to have.

Knowing that our GOD will victor!!!

LOVE

steven :hug:

Ames x · May 25, 2009

Very wise words Steven.. This scripture is helping me to feel more 'Grounded' and less emotional. I pray that the lord will help me put on my armour every morning as I face this trial and attempt to stand firm on the word of God and to be still and KNOW that he is holding each of us in HIS hand.

Love your Sister in Christ - Amy x

mnphysicist · May 26, 2009

Often times one wants to run off after presenting things as you did... However, the vast majority of times, it is better to attempt to address the issues via some dialog, and only after that has failed, take some time. It may be you only look at part of one issue, and then feel you need to step out, but at least 2 way communication is established. Present and leave often times ends up coming off more accusatory than intended, although it feels safer at the time. If you dialog, at least a bit, sometimes ones finds out there were bad communications, or errant perceptions that spiraled downward causing trouble, rather than trouble in and of itself being the root cause. Of course such dialog is never easy, but the prior posters Ephesians 6 quotes can be a real help in such matters.

Ames x · May 26, 2009

Thank you mnphysicist... This person has accepted an offer to talk things over.. perhaps on Thursday afternoon. I will remain prayerful and meditate on Gods word. I will be praying for her also.. and that my heart will be humble.. But that I may also be confident while wearing my Armour of God.

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Feeling Broken.. But want to continue Gods Work x

What should I do about this ministry that I love?

Attempt to stay in the ministry even though there is conflict

Take a step back from ministry until things are sorted out

Ames x

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wonderwaleye

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ephraimanesti

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DreamsAreFree

Ps46:10 Jer33:3

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Ames x

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wonderwaleye

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mnphysicist

Have Courage to Trust God!

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