Mommy Dearest Is Hurting Me

snowfall · May 15, 2009

I am 27 year old single mom with 2 kids I live with my parents,I am a only child.I have made bad choices in my life although blessings came out of them.I dont work,and that is a whole other subject that has to do with my mom that will need to be in another post.

I am blessed that I get to live in there house and have a place to live.

My Mom is hurting me she is killing me slowly everyday.I love this lady so much,but I dont feel I have ever had a Mom or Dad.

My mom is VERY emotionaly abusive to me.I get called fat,hog,ugly,loser,lazy,I am told no one wants me, she calls me crazy,tells me I am mental case...Tells me I will never amount to anything.If I cry she tells me to suck it up and not be a baby.I have been called moose,bertha,that I have thigh fat.

If I say hey mom that really hurts me,she will tell me I live in her house and if I dont like I should leave...I am always told how she hates the sound of my voice,how she cant stand me,how I am a embarsement.How if I change my addititude then people might get along with me....My dad he is no help has always taken her side of stuff has always told me to shut up if I tell he about her treating me like this

Ok now sorry this is all over the place I suffer from very low self estem,I have bad panic attaks from all of this,I do try and pray but I want to feel the lords arms around me.There was one time I broke down in public and had to hug a complete stranger

but it felt like the closest thing to a mom and I didnt even know the person...........

A few years ago early 20's and teens I was one to call my mom names I have asked the lord for forgiveness and told her I was sorry......

She says she can call me all this stuff beacuse its programed in her head from me years ago,and now I can see how it feels.Personally this has been very abusive I have been feeling this for a few years now.....

I dont know what to do I have no car,no outlet,no friends as my parents wont watch my kids.I live in the boonies so I have no church

She will tell me if I talk to her that God says to respect elders,or how I am the devil.I even tell her I am sorry when its her calling me names.I help out and I still get called lazy or told I dont clean good enough that I clean like a child.Now I am 27 but if I make her mad she will say I am telling your dad and I am going to take this away from you

I dont know what to do anymore,I love her..The fat comments started right after I gave birth to my second,a week later she was calling me fat.I am chubby I am 5'0 and 145lbs this is the biggest I have ever let myself get.I really just feel like I dont care anymore.I have struggled with anorexia in the past and still I get called names...

Please pray please give me advice I dont know what to do anymore at this point.I will always love her and always forgive her but its to the point that its affecting my health and I am sure its not good for my kids at a young age to see me cry so much and scream in pillows

I have told her time and agin how I feel... "I get is I can do what I want its my house, if you dont like it leave""we dont want you here" thoughs are her comments I get ignored and all I can do is look myself in my room and cry.............

wonderwaleye · May 15, 2009

snowfall said:
I am 27 year old single mom with 2 kids I live with my parents,I am a only child.I have made bad choices in my life although blessings came out of them.I dont work,and that is a whole other subject that has to do with my mom that will need to be in another post.

I am blessed that I get to live in there house and have a place to live.

My Mom is hurting me she is killing me slowly everyday.I love this lady so much,but I dont feel I have ever had a Mom or Dad.

My mom is VERY emotionaly abusive to me.I get called fat,hog,ugly,loser,lazy,I am told no one wants me, she calls me crazy,tells me I am mental case...Tells me I will never amount to anything.If I cry she tells me to suck it up and not be a baby.I have been called moose,bertha,that I have thigh fat.

If I say hey mom that really hurts me,she will tell me I live in her house and if I dont like I should leave...I am always told how she hates the sound of my voice,how she cant stand me,how I am a embarsement.How if I change my addititude then people might get along with me....My dad he is no help has always taken her side of stuff has always told me to shut up if I tell he about her treating me like this

Ok now sorry this is all over the place I suffer from very low self estem,I have bad panic attaks from all of this,I do try and pray but I want to feel the lords arms around me.There was one time I broke down in public and had to hug a complete stranger but it felt like the closest thing to a mom and I didnt even know the person...........

A few years ago early 20's and teens I was one to call my mom names I have asked the lord for forgiveness and told her I was sorry......

She says she can call me all this stuff beacuse its programed in her head from me years ago,and now I can see how it feels.Personally this has been very abusive I have been feeling this for a few years now.....

I dont know what to do I have no car,no outlet,no friends as my parents wont watch my kids.I live in the boonies so I have no church

She will tell me if I talk to her that God says to respect elders,or how I am the devil.I even tell her I am sorry when its her calling me names.I help out and I still get called lazy or told I dont clean good enough that I clean like a child.Now I am 27 but if I make her mad she will say I am telling your dad and I am going to take this away from you

I dont know what to do anymore,I love her..The fat comments started right after I gave birth to my second,a week later she was calling me fat.I am chubby I am 5'0 and 145lbs this is the biggest I have ever let myself get.I really just feel like I dont care anymore.I have struggled with anorexia in the past and still I get called names...

Please pray please give me advice I dont know what to do anymore at this point.I will always love her and always forgive her but its to the point that its affecting my health and I am sure its not good for my kids at a young age to see me cry so much and scream in pillows

I have told her time and agin how I feel... "I get is I can do what I want its my house, if you dont like it leave""we dont want you here" thoughs are her comments I get ignored and all I can do is look myself in my room and cry.............

You have but ONE real good choice and that is to GIVE IT ALL TO GOD

GOD demands that you give HIM your WHOLE heart, mind, strength, and soul. That means you go in prayer and tell GOD that you will do this and from that moment on seek GOD in all your decisions. Then pick up GOD'S ROAD MAP to the KINGDOM of ALMIGHTY GOD ( BIBLE ) and start reading the NEW TESTIMENT till the next time you read it you will already know what IT'S going to say. For then it's locked in your heart to draw from for the rest of your life. You will NEVER be sorry you did.

After this is complete GOD will know. For HE searches the heart. HE will then send HIS HOLY SPIRIT ( ANOINTED-BORN AGAIN- SAVED ). For it is then that you shall receive the MISSION GOD has for just you and supply all your needs, even what you have not the ability to have.

While you know what this abuse is doing to you, can you fathom what it will do for the children?

If you just have FAITH, GOD will make a way. But make sure your submission is complete.

Do yourself a BIG FAVOR and Start right now!!!

LOVE

steven :hug:

Winter · May 15, 2009

I'm so sorry ... ((HUGS))

Look, you need to be strong for your children. If your mother is wearing you down, how can you be strong for them? Also, do you know how much it hurts your children to see their mother degraded? Do you want your children witnessing that?

You've got to get out. Somehow, someway - you need to leave. You need to stand on your own 2 feet - if not for yourself, then for your children. Your children do not deserve to be around an abusive environment. Suggestions:

1. Call social services - tell them you are about to be homeless - tell them you have no place to live (technically, you don't since you need to leave and cannot stay in that environment). They will help you find a job and a temporary place to stay.

2. Or ... call the nearest pastor and explain your situation. Maybe he and his church can help.

Your mother is intimidating you and is wearing you down to the point that it has created paralysis in you. You cannot be paralyzed - and you cannot be afraid. You have got to make it on your own ...

Pray to the Lord - pray your heart out that he will get you out of that environment. YOur mother will not change - people do not change over night. Only you can make things change. Your mother calls you those things because you let her - until you scream independence from your heart ... things won't change, I'm afraid.

Hang in there. You are too special to be withering away like this ... :groupray:

Praying for you ... :crossrc:

childofmercy · May 15, 2009

My heart feels your heart ..

I think Winter In My Heart has given you some good advice. You simply MUST find a way to break the cycle .. it's crucial that you get your children away from that enviroment .. it is most certain they will be the next target .. and that's how abuse goes from generation to generation .. God knows that and He knows your heart .. yes! cry from your heart to Him .. let him know you want better for you and your children and that you know Jesus is your Hope .. know that very often all the Lord is waiting for is for us to make the first move .. trust Him .. when we tell Him we need Him and we trust Him, then we can rest and He will go to work .. we still need to work at it, but we can be restful in our heart in knowing He will get us there .. and most of all if you've repented and asked for forgiveness then you need to know don't be like Lot .. don't look back on those things .. look forward to the new you in Christ .. He doesn't remember them and neither must you. Anything you feel like you're lacking in finding that way, whether it be courage or the know how, know that all you have to do is ask Him. You must not give in to the temptation to just let it keep going because you think it isn't possible to get out. That is the enemy speaking to you. God will never let you down and He always makes a way. God bless

1 Corinthians 10:13
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able: but with temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Matthew 19:26
But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

live4grace · May 15, 2009

There are shelters you can take your children to where you can rebuild your life. But you're being lied to so much and so often that you're believing it. I know some very beautiful overweight people - pastors even - who had to start believing what God said about them like this

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

before they could escape their downward spiral - mental, spiritual and physical.

Get into the Bible and quote it back to your mother - she will answer to God for how she has treated her children. But you have to get out of there, that's my advice. And you have my prayers. :prayer:

Johnnz · May 15, 2009

That's not a good environment for you or your children. If you can get out of your dependency on her you will have opportunity to build your own life. It does nothing for any child to hear their mother being belittled and abused.

Is there any help available from your church?

John
NZ

tapero · May 16, 2009

I agree, get out of there however you can. We're praying for you. (((hugs)))

Elijah2 · May 16, 2009

My Dear Sister

I am 27 year old single mom with 2 kids I live with my parents,I am a only child.I have made bad choices in my life although blessings came out of them.
I’ve read right through, and this is were it starts, this is where the rubber hits the road. I will comments on what on say, at the specific moment, and I will be honest with you in love.

I dont work,and that is a whole other subject that has to do with my mom that will need to be in another post.
Your mum is only mimicking her childhood and growing up life. Possibly what has come from your mum’s mouth is exactly the same things that was said to you her by one of her parents.

I am blessed that I get to live in there house and have a place to live.
Yes, we are blessed in many ways, and as sad as it is, those who bless us don’t realise that that they are a blessing.

My Mom is hurting me she is killing me slowly everyday.I love this lady so much,but I dont feel I have ever had a Mom or Dad.
The sad things about life my dear sister, is that our tongue is the most poisonous organ of our body, and what comes forth from our mouth comes from our heart. Our life is stolen, destroyed, and killed by spoken words of other people.

Forgive your mum, verbally in prayer, and confess and repent your feelings to our Lord Jesus Christ, asking HIM for forgiveness for allowing yourself to be hurt and offended.

Your healing and overcoming and conquering the enemy, because that is whom is working through your mother, is gained by confession, repentance, and forgiveness. HIS Word says not to let the sun set on anger. So each time that mum gets into you before bed, go on your knees and talk it all out with our Lord Jesus Christ. Don’t let any of it settle on your heart.

My mom is VERY emotionaly abusive to me.
Emotional abuse can only have control if we don’t take it to our Lord Jesus Christ straight away.

Forgive her.

I get called fat,hog,ugly,loser,lazy,I am told no one wants me, she calls me crazy,tells me I am mental case...
Your mum is struggling with her own life, and is fed up. She is having her moment and is possibly going through menopause. Have you ever thought of that?

HIS Word says: “no weapon formed against you will prosper and those spoken words that rise up against you in judgement, HE shall condemn” (Isa. 54:17)

So you pray verbally and tell Satan and his forces that these weapons that are being sent against you through your mum will NOT PROSPER.

There is an only saying: “You pray for those who you dislike, and pray for those who dislike you!”

Tells me I will never amount to anything.If I cry she tells me to suck it up and not be a baby.I have been called moose,bertha,that I have thigh fat.
Has those same words been spoken to your mum by her parents?

If I say hey mom that really hurts me,she will tell me I live in her house and if I dont like I should leave...
This is the normal power and control spirit that Satan is using to condemn you. He will use this to steal, destroy, and kill anything in your life, to stop you from getting closer to our Lord Jesus Christ.

This is 1 Pet. 5:8 and the roaring lion is trying to devour you.

This is Spiritual Warfare, and your battle isn’t in flesh and blood, because Eph. 6:10-13 says so.

I am always told how she hates the sound of my voice,how she cant stand me,how I am a embarsement.
This is a critical spirit, and you need to pray against them. They are the principalities, powers, rulers of darkness, and spiritual hosts that HIS Word speaks about. They are not words, they are for real.

You are not fighting a worldly battle, but a spiritual battle.

How if I change my addititude then people might get along with me....
Yes, if your attitude changes, and you start confessing, repenting, forgiving, pray blessings over your parents and the house you live in, and don’t allow any negative spirit berate and badger you, you will overcome and conquer.

My dad he is no help has always taken her side of stuff has always told me to shut up if I tell he about her treating me like this
Well, this is normal when the mum wears the pants in the family and has no beliefs.

Ok now sorry this is all over the place I suffer from very low self estem,I have bad panic attaks from all of this,
Of course you will feel this way my dear sister, but these are the consequences of your bad choices and decisions.

But, you can overcome and conquer them, by taking the land back from the enemy, through Spiritual Warfare.

Have you any support from your church?

I do try and pray but I want to feel the lords arms around me.
Well, the only way to overcome is to cleanse your own hands, and purify your own heart; and then you will humble your self before our Lord Jesus Christ and HE will exalt you.

There is a lot of work to be done, and there is no “quick fix”

There was one time I broke down in public and had to hug a complete stranger but it felt like the closest thing to a mom and I didnt even know the person...........
My dear sister, you have broken-heart, and our Lord Jesus Christ came to heal your broken-heart and to set you free from captivity.

But, when it all comes down to the nitty-gritty, can you move to a refuge?

Pray this prayer everyday:

Heavenly Father, I come to You through our Lord Jesus Christ, and Lord, I thank You for this day. I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ for my being able to see and to hear this morning and any part of the day. I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to You, and I confess and repent those actions right now, and ask You now for Your forgiveness, in Jesus’ Name.

Lord Jesus Christ, please keep me safe from all danger and harm and spoken words against me. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude, and continue on through the day. Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You, in Jesus’ Name.

Lord, Let me not complain and whimper over things that I have no control over. Let me continue to see sin through Your eyes and acknowledge it as evil. And when I sin, let me confess and repent with my mouth of my wrongdoing, and receive Your forgiveness, in Jesus’ Name.

Lord, when this world begins to close in on me, let me remember Your example to slip away and find a quiet place to pray. It's the best response when we are pushed beyond our limits. I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart. Continue to use me to do Your will, in Jesus’ Name.

Lord, continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak. Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others. I pray for those and my parents who are lost and can't find their way. I pray for those and my parents who are misjudged and misunderstood. I pray for those and my parents who don't know You intimately. I pray for those and my parents who don't believe, but, most of all I thank You, Lord Jesus Christ that I do believe, in Jesus’ Name.

Lord, I believe that You change people and You change things for good reasons. I pray for all my sisters and brothers; for each and every one of my family members and friends and their families. I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met, in Jesus’ Name.

Lord I pray that I know there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than You. Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight. I pray that these words to be received into my heart and my mouth confesses these words willingly, in Jesus’ Name.

Morghaine · May 16, 2009

My heart goes out to you, and you and your children are in my prayers. I will reiterate some of the advice you've been given so far, which is that you need to get out of that situation, for your sake and your children's sake! Please contact social services, or any local shelters so that you can have a roof over your head and food for you and children, without having to live in the midst of that abuse.

I will be praying for you, and your family!

snowfall · May 18, 2009

Thank You for all the kind words...

Elijah2 Thank You your words really spoke to me,I do need to pray more for my Mom and people that rub me wrong,and for myself to be understanding.I do think sometimes instead of praying I have pity for myself and feel picked on and get emotional.Some of the time instead of walking away I will say stuff back to her.I let my tongue get the best of me also

I can come across as very brash,snobby to people,as I have had alot of people tell me that:o My own mom might feel the same way I make strangers and some friends feel uncomfortable with my additude.

I hope I didnt come on here acting like I was so perfect and picked on as I think I kinda did just being honest,I was just so mad and needed to vent when I should have prayed.I love my mom very much,I know she loves me.I am sure I do stuff that hurts her also,I can think of quite a few things.I think I might need to grow up a little.Or check my own hormone levels,I cry at the drop of a hat

I know I hurt her alot when I was in my teens.I called her fat and stupid and would hide her from my friends back when I was a teen.I am sure that hurt her.

I am kinda embaressed for my post as at the moment I was feeling really picked,but at the same time glad as it kinda has had me take a look at myself aswell.I just feel its unfair to paint a picture of someone and have it one sided

Thank You

BTW feeling like I want to hide right now its sometimes hard to be so honest with myself :doh:

heron · May 19, 2009

So sorry!

Hearing her words over and over is changing how you feel about yourself, and what you feel capable of doing. If you don't get out, your self-perception goes nowhere but down. This is a survival issue.

If you were 145 pounds after delivering a baby, then you were at the weight your doctor would have wanted you. If you were less, the doctor would have considered it unsafe. The baby only weighed 6-9 pounds, but the doctor wanted you to gain 30 or so.

Even if you gained after that, this is not a heavy weight for your height. You know that. You know that the things she says about you are destructive and not true. Even if some have a hint of truth to them, she has no business saying them.

But one of the most important things, that others said above, is what the children are seeing. Children mimic behaviors of those around them. (Maybe you did as a teen!) If you don't change their environment, there is no reason to expect that they won't turn on you and behave like your mother, or worse. Or one will mimic the other role -- the person who takes the abuse.

In an ideal world, we could influence our kids in other ways, through what we say. But we all know that advice is not always understood as well as what experience teaches.

Follow the steps that Winter gave you. Treat it like an assignment, pretend it's something you're required to do. You can always change your mind.

You will feel so much better if you know you can take control of some things in life. The change will feel amazing.

heron · May 19, 2009

Some helpful links for you:

Wyoming Shelters - Wyoming Homeless Shelters And Emergency Shelters (start with this one)

Wyoming Food Banks Wyoming Soup Kitchens - WY Food Banks, Soup Kitchens

Department of Family Services

Department of Family Services - Food Stamp and Nutrition Information

http://dfsweb.state.wy.us/childprotection/6.1EmergencyAssistance.pdf

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Mommy Dearest Is Hurting Me

snowfall

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wonderwaleye

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Winter

Jesus, let it be ok

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childofmercy

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tapero

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Elijah2

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Morghaine

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