She just assumed....

Why did she assume?

My wife reacts very strongly to the sound of pain and tells to yell, sometimes at me, "what happened", with can sound very accusatory, and admittingly she is a bit quick to blame. It is a long running source of contention between us.

Perhaps she is a bit like that, and to be fair she was on your lap so it was most probable that you dropped her or something. Still, I don't think it is fair and understand your frustration.

This might happen in our house. And it would probably NOT be an assumption on my side that dh did anything wrong, but rather panic in my voice because my dd got hurt. Are you sure she blamed you?

myanchor said:

...that it was me that hurt our daughter. Our 9 year old likes to sit on my legs while I'm sitting on our green chair and ottoman. I like to slide my legs down to make a slope and she slides down my legs. So my daughter is giggling and we are having a good time and then all of a sudden my daughter screams and I'm asking what happened. My wife yells at me and says what did you do? What's wrong with her? I'm asking my daughter what happened, she doesn't listen and automatically assumes it's my fault. It was the border collie mix who got excited and nipped my daughter on the arm. UUURRRGGGHH!

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Dude,
you have my sympathies on this one..

I was there and had my fill of that during my first marriage.

But...I have been awfully good at pointing it out...I got better as time progressed.

They always seem to have the "innocent" look as well when they are accusing us of doing something too...

But I can tell you that in the Bible Days...Satan and the Prosecuting attorney (professional accuser) were synonomous terms.
ONly Satan accuses...

So...let your wife in on this one...and watch her reaction.

Why did you make your dog bite your daughter's arm?

myanchor said:

...that it was me that hurt our daughter. Our 9 year old likes to sit on my legs while I'm sitting on our green chair and ottoman. I like to slide my legs down to make a slope and she slides down my legs. So my daughter is giggling and we are having a good time and then all of a sudden my daughter screams and I'm asking what happened. My wife yells at me and says what did you do? What's wrong with her? I'm asking my daughter what happened, she doesn't listen and automatically assumes it's my fault. It was the border collie mix who got excited and nipped my daughter on the arm. UUURRRGGGHH!

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Sounds like my mother with my step father.
The kids all love him, we all do, but shes so bitter that if hes playing with one of the grandkids and they even yell out because theyre having fun she immediately runs in and starts running off at the mouth. Most times the kids are just laughing loudly playing and running when she comes running in, foaming at the mouth at him.

Its sad because my wife and I moved here in Nov 08 for various reasons, and the one thing that was supposed to help her get adjusted was being around family. My mother loves my wife dearly, but because she behaves so badly with my step father my wife just doesnt have the desire to go around there much at all...more like avoids it nearly entirely, and I cant blame her.

I finally had to just tell my mother that she makes my wife uncomfortable. She kept asking why the wife doesnt come by much and I just got tired of making up excuses and told her. I could see the hurt, precisely what I was trying to avoid, but she's got to know that that nastiness against her husband doesnt just affect him. It affects her children and all of their offspring too.

Avatar said:

Why did you make your dog bite your daughter's arm?

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