emotional and verbal abuse- anyone else?

Hello GodsLittleDove (I'm HisLilLamb) =0)

I grew up in a family with the verbal and emotional abuse and have struggled with God's acceptance of me, like I am never good enough. I read scriptures and know it in my head but struggle in my heart.
The more I get into His presence and also meditate on how He is God not man and He is Love, the more I experience His unconditional love. And because of Who He is, not anything to do with me.

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What helps me personally is Phillip Keller's book A Shepherd's Look at Psalm 23 and learning of the relationship between the shepherd and his sheep and relating that to God.... why I chose my name =0)

Another book (sorry I would read a lot) that 'broke' me was Francine Rivers book Redeeming Love based on the book of Hosea...in the book Angel is a prostitute and God speaks to Michael to go get her and take her to be his wife. Angel thinks he only wants to use her like all men do and can't fathom his genuine love. She even runs away back to her old life and Michael goes back to get her again... in the end Angel has to find her own encounter with God... The book just magnifies how unconditional God's love is for us.
~~~~~~~~~~~
He has also helped me in exposing the lies I believed about myself and renewing my mind with truth.

It was very hard for me to just let Him love me, simple as that, very hard... it took time for me and I can now. I think its a lot of us being willing to just let Him love us. and for me His love magnified the hurt... His light exposes darkness... but being open to feeling the hurt and receiving his love is what I think really brings healing.
HLL

Yeah I have trouble accepting Gods love because I was also emotionally and verbally abused. I'm still young and the abuse only stoped about 18 months ago, so I'm yet to heal, but I wanted you to know that I understand what you are saying

I have trouble accepting love from anyone because of verbal and emotional abuse. Trusting people is scary.

I can only agree...
I think that it can get better.. but it is a hard journey.
It's a very long way from our heads to our hearts sometimes.

I've been through that stuff too and struggle with a lot because of it. I've been talking with a counselor about it for a little while now and I finally feel like I'm starting to get somewhere more positive and am starting to have more hope for the future. It's difficult to try to work through these kinds of things alone....hope you have someone you can talk with; maybe consider counseling for it.

I am a survivor of physical, emotional, verbal abuse. I just finished a great book called "The Search For Significance". You really should check this book out. You will have to read it several times. It takes a while to see ourselves the way God does. You have so many years of abuse that it is hard to just stop on a dime and say "oh yeah! I am God's child, Fully pleasing, completely forgiven and totally accepted". So cut yourself some slack and take it one day at a time! I am right there with you and it is so hard to see myself the way God does. It will get better!
God Bless!

The4Rs said:

I am a survivor of physical, emotional, verbal abuse. I just finished a great book called "The Search For Significance". You really should check this book out. You will have to read it several times. It takes a while to see ourselves the way God does. You have so many years of abuse that it is hard to just stop on a dime and say "oh yeah! I am God's child, Fully pleasing, completely forgiven and totally accepted". So cut yourself some slack and take it one day at a time! I am right there with you and it is so hard to see myself the way God does. It will get better!
God Bless!

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I have just got this book... and there is also a book study which has just started in the self-esteem forum.
I'm looking forward to reading it

I grew up with horrible step fathers who abused my sibs and I, one eventually did kill my mother. I know, and understand what it feels like having a hard time understanding Gods love and a mans (my husband) at times to. It is so cool looking back and seeing what God did to break through to my soul and heart.

He is bigger than what you went through, and knows you better than you know yourself. Pray, study, and know in your heart that God will show you the way to understand what the meaning of uncondition love is. You see with abuse it is not uncondition at all is it. It is conditional, and with rules.

One person who really helped me in the begining was reading Corrie Tenboom, going through what she did yet was able to forgive the people who hurt her. This can only be done through Christ, to see what she did. As well as how Christ was able to forgive what some did to Him, yet died on the cross for our sins.

Finding the freedom to forgive the people who hurt you will be a healing process when God sets that before you.

In AA we use this step which allowed such freedom from the power it had on me for so many years. The people who hurt me/my mother probubly forgot, but I carried it with me for years which only hurt me and keeped me down.

This is a healing process that God will bring you through, just trust, pray and work hard. Visualizing as well while you pray, laying it all down at Christ's feet. At times it still creeps back in and the old me is there again, just like any healing it is a daily work in progress starting with baby steps.

i was emotionally abused by my Dad when i was growing up, he would call me every name in the book. He said i was worthless and that i was never going to amount to anything..yada yada yada. It's one of the reasons why i am angry at God, and don't know if i really believe in him.

I love that book so much I give it to anyone I can find who needs it. Highly recomend.

HisLilLamb said:

Hello GodsLittleDove (I'm HisLilLamb) =0)

I grew up in a family with the verbal and emotional abuse and have struggled with God's acceptance of me, like I am never good enough. I read scriptures and know it in my head but struggle in my heart.
The more I get into His presence and also meditate on how He is God not man and He is Love, the more I experience His unconditional love. And because of Who He is, not anything to do with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~
What helps me personally is Phillip Keller's book A Shepherd's Look at Psalm 23 and learning of the relationship between the shepherd and his sheep and relating that to God.... why I chose my name =0)

Another book (sorry I would read a lot) that 'broke' me was Francine Rivers book Redeeming Love based on the book of Hosea...in the book Angel is a prostitute and God speaks to Michael to go get her and take her to be his wife. Angel thinks he only wants to use her like all men do and can't fathom his genuine love. She even runs away back to her old life and Michael goes back to get her again... in the end Angel has to find her own encounter with God... The book just magnifies how unconditional God's love is for us.
~~~~~~~~~~~
He has also helped me in exposing the lies I believed about myself and renewing my mind with truth.

It was very hard for me to just let Him love me, simple as that, very hard... it took time for me and I can now. I think its a lot of us being willing to just let Him love us. and for me His love magnified the hurt... His light exposes darkness... but being open to feeling the hurt and receiving his love is what I think really brings healing.
HLL

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Emotional and verbal abuse from an ex-boyfriend and a former best friend. The abuse from my ex led me to stop eating as much and sink into depression. Only my mother and two or three close friends know about it, really, but it was something that took a long time to heal from. I only started getting over it last year, and I REALLY started to make progress this year. Trust has always been an issue with me ever since, but God's been putting people in my life to make that easier for me. It was really hard talking to the friends about it that I did. One was very accepting and listened to me cry and talk about it and was so supportive. The other said he'd have trouble talking to me about his own problems because what I went through was worse... a ridiculous statement if you ask me haha.

But God is so good at helping people out of that pain. Though it is definitely something you'll deal with on and off for a very long time.

I went thru sexual, verbal and emotional abuse as a child, i know how you feel. But Gods love for you is soooo awesome, He want's to heal you too. Try reading 2 books
1. Beauty for ashes by Joyce Meyer
2. Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

HisLilLamb said:

Another book (sorry I would read a lot) that 'broke' me was Francine Rivers book Redeeming Love based on the book of Hosea...in the book Angel is a prostitute and God speaks to Michael to go get her and take her to be his wife. Angel thinks he only wants to use her like all men do and can't fathom his genuine love. She even runs away back to her old life and Michael goes back to get her again... in the end Angel has to find her own encounter with God... The book just magnifies how unconditional God's love is for us.

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I love that book!

Yes, you can finally get over the abuse. What worked for me was God finally breaking me completely. I needed to be destroyed emotionally and willing to cry out to God for help and accept whatever He had to do. I had to accept that I might lose my marriage, my children, my job, my life. I wanted to die and did try to kill myself. But during that time I spoke with God and said I want to die, I would rather die, but if YOU want me to live, then YOU will have to change me because I cannot do it. It has been about two years now, and it has not been easy. Life still really sucks at times, but I know the Father loves me and cares for me. I know that Jesus is my savior and even if all of you were perfect, he would have gone to the cross for me. I know that the Spirit is with me at all times and will pray for me when I can't. I do not recommend going to the extreme I did. I recommend going to therapy and talking with trusted friends, and finding a mentor in a church and getting into a small group. May God bless you as you heal.

I have and very severe verbal abuse for 4 years. He went to jail about 3 weeks ago and may end up having 2 years in jail for physical assault on me.

Verbal and emotional abuse is destructive and you are in my prayers.

It creates this confusion about yourself. It IS abuse, make no mistake about that. I suffered it for years and had a bad aftermath as well, and so even today I struggle with it. It's very hard to believe then that you have God's unconditional love, that you can actually receive God's mercy and goodness.

It's strange...both my wife and I have the same trouble: we can pray for others and it has a great effect but say the same prayer on behalf of ourselves and it's a big struggle. I remember I prayed for a woman and told her all the things I need to hear:that God loves her and wanted only for her to turn to Him and accept Him as her loving Father in Heaven, that He saw her as precious and worth sending Jesus to die for her, that He forgave her and wanted her. She wept, and it really turned her life around. But for me and for the dearest person to me all the things we had been beaten down with it seems almost impossible sometimes. We've both at different times of our lives felt suicidal with unhappiness.

All I can say is please don't give up; you ARE precious to God and I'm sure to others as well.

Right now God is healing me of the scars of emotional abuse. Specifically, he is healing the destroyed self-esteem that my gma and childhood church caused. This is really hard, btw. I keep telling myself, Tomorrow it will be better ~ you are not destined for this all your life.

McScribe said:

It creates this confusion about yourself. It IS abuse, make no mistake about that. I suffered it for years and had a bad aftermath as well, and so even today I struggle with it. It's very hard to believe then that you have God's unconditional love, that you can actually receive God's mercy and goodness.

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Exactly. It can make you crazy because you don't have visible physical scars to prove how you got abused and mistreated and hurt. All the scars exist on the inside only. They can only be "seen" by people paying closer attention to your words and feelings than most people bother doing. You end up questioning yourself and your sanity and your worth in ways those who got physically abused wouldn't, because of this. You don't automatically have society on your side saying what a terrible thing to happen to you -- on the contrary, most of society takes the attitude that you didn't suffer at all, that you should "suck it up" and "quit whining" -- more abusive attitudes that re-wound, re-injure, and re-abuse the already hurting survivor.

To God's Little Dove: Courage, sister. The journey will be difficult, but not impossible.

I would like to say yes, but it was in the past. I can't say that because my son took up where previous abusers left off and he's skilled at it because he learned from the best. It never gets easier to bear, really, but my skin is much tougher. I have no easy answers but I care very much. All the books mentioned by the others are good ones. One thing that has helped me so much over the years s T.D. Jakes Woman Thou Art Loosed Study Bible. It's a gold mine.