As well it should. It flies in the face of everything the rational world tells us. That's part of why obedience is so important.
At least in Orthodoxy, the fullness of Christianity, we are often reminded that the life of a Christian, the life of following Christ, is one of suffering.
Yes. We carry the word of the Cross, and if we do not take up our cross and follow after Christ we are not worthy of Him.
Several reasons come to mind.
- Obedience: Our Lord commands it, and we obey. Even if nothing else I say makes any sense (and that very well might be the case), this alone is sufficient: Christ is God. God in His revelation of Himself said that we must take up our cross (suffer), and He revealed the fullness of His love through suffering on the cross. He who endures to the end will be saved.
- Real Life: suffering is a reality. We can't go through life without suffering, as that is part of this world and this existence. Enduring suffering in faith is easier if you know up front to expect it and how to handle it (faith in God's providence and faithful endurance with thanksgiving).
- Faith: suffering forces us to give our total self to God and God alone. It is easy to be faithful in times that are fun and good. Perhaps then it is harder to be mindful of God (we tend to take the good in our life for granted). God may let us suffer for a time to strengthen our faith. A faith that has been tested by fire and can still say "thank you!" and "Thy will be done" is a faith that can last for eternity. The suffering is an opportunity to be grateful to God.
- Solidarity: Christ suffered, and by that suffering He entered into suffering and united it to life. For those in Christ, suffering is no more. Rather, it has been transfigured by the light of the cross and the resurrection. When we suffer, we are WITH Christ. If my whole heart desires Him, that can be nothing other than pure joy. The opportunity to suffer in faith (as suffering is inevitable in this life) gives me joy, for behold, Christ has overcome the world.
- Asceticism: we are egotistical creatures. We want what we want when we want it and how we want it. And if we don't get it, we whine about it, cry about it, get angry, get vindictive, get greedy, or take what we want. We are SLAVES OF OUR EGO. SLAVES. It controls us. It compels us to do things we DON'T want to do, and afterwords (because we didn't WANT to do them) it gives us the sadness that leads to death (self-loathing guilt) which is totally at odds with the joyful contrition of a Christian. Suffering KILLS the ego and LIBERATES us from our selfishness. When we continuously don't get what we want, we learn to be content without it. When the ego isn't fed, it dies. As it dies, our true self - the image of God in us - comes to life and is set free. THIS is the LIBERTY of the Gospel, and there is no way to kill the ego except through suffering - through the cross. Rebirth requires death, and all death is painful. If we expect to not experience this pain, we are delusional as to the true state of our souls.
- Justice: I cannot speak for you here, as I don't know you. But as for me, I fully deserve the suffering I recieve. Indeed, the fact that I do not suffer more is more likely a sign that I'm not worthy of that suffering (of that unity with Christ) or unable to handle it (as lacking faith). But my sin, my CHOICE to REJECT God, warrants all the suffering life has for me. I have victimized my brothers and sisters, I have been selfish, lustful, prideful, demanding, haughty, self-promoting, slothful, gluttonous, and all other manners of sinful. Every moment of non-suffering I experience is nothing short of a miracle of God's mercy. As often as I pray "Lord have mercy," more often then that does God pour His mercy on me.
Those are a few reasons I can think of off the top of my head. The most important are faith, solidarity, and asceticism (as well as reality).
Way of the Ascetics (by Tito Colliander) puts it very very well when it states:
Naked, small and helpless, you now pass on to the most difficult of all human tasks: to conquer your own selfish desires. Ultimately it is just this "self-persecution" on which your warfare depends, for as long as your selfish will rules, you cannot pray to the Lord with a pure heart: Thy will be done." If you cannot get rid of your own greatness, neither can you lay yourself open for real greatness. If you cling to your own freedom, you cannot share in true freedom, where only one will reigns. The saints' great secret it is this: do not seek freedom, and freedom will be given to you.
I mean, I know for our salvation, etc. But I still don't get it. I look at everything I want but cannot have(marriage and family), which to me even seem harmless (as opposed to wanting to be a inappropriate content star or a bloodthirsty dictator, for example),
You're right. They are good things - good and beautiful. You affirm what God Himself affirms when He attended the wedding at Cana and sanctioned marriage in the garden. Marriage is an icon of the Kingdom, of Christ and the Church, of the very Eucharistic union we share with Christ and by which our life is renewed.
and think "This will make me happy."
No. It won't. And that is exactly the motive (and mode of thought) which asceticism seeks to help liberate us from. So long as "happy" is the criterion by which we judge our decisions, we will NEVER be satisfied. Even if we GET what we want IT WON'T LAST. And we know that; and that knowledge gnaws at us and takes the satisfaction out of those things.
Don't ask what will make you happy. Ask what it is that God would have you do, and DO the NEXT right thing. Obedience liberates you from ego and self-centeredness, and, once emptied of that self (a process which is painful) you can be FILLED BY GOD HIMSELF in a mystic unity that surpasses ANY earthly "happiness" you might seek.
Seek first the Kingdom of GOD - not the Kingdom of happy. Let God worry about what happiness or sadness He puts into your life. You just say "thank you!" and "Thy will be done." That's what it means to take up your cross. Even Christ Himself had to say "God, please take this from me, yet not MY will but THY will be done."
Are we better than Christ that we should say otherwise?
Happy, obviously, not being in a perfect state of total bliss. It doesn't exist on this Earth.
It does in Christ. Dying to yourself through the cross, and being filled with Christ in the sacraments and the life of prayer and of love... this is true joy. And it is eternal, and ALL the suffering in the world CANNOT rob you of it, because that joy is FORGED in suffering and is BUILT by ENDURING suffering. It is as eternal as God is, because it isn't your joy, nor is it manufactured joy, it is JOY ITSELF united to you in God's grace by the Holy Spirit.
But, relatively, generally, despite hard times that makes me stronger, I would be relatively happy with these simple things I want. So why can't I have them? Because I am trying to enter into Christ's Church.
Yes. If you endure this, you win the crown of a martyr. Go and read St. Ignatius of Antioch's letter to the Romans; he had the spirit of a martyr, and it may encourage you.
Christianity starts with death, and death sucks. But you die to a lesser, transient thing that you may aquire a greater thing, a pearl of great price if you will.
But it doesn't make me happy. Suffering is embraced in the Church, and She acknowledges that it will be abundant and unto our salvation.
But... is it really so wrong to want to be happy in this life?
It's not wrong at all, but you have to recognize the importance of denying that desire in order to gain what you truly desire: God.
It doesn't matter whether the desire is for a hamburger during Lent or something perpetual like the desire for physical intimacy outside of marriage (with someone of the same sex or the opposite gender, either one). Desire, if fed, grows stronger. And as the voice of our desires screams louder, we hear the voice of God less and less.
As an American teenager, so many of the songs and movies and all sorts of media really focus on "Live life and be happy. Do what makes you happy, and live life to the fullest."
Then stop listening to the culture of this world, and listen instead to the hymnity of the Kingdom of God - the Church hymnity.
If that will help, then meditate on those things that ease the desire, rather than inflaming it by listening to a culture that is totally at odds with the struggle you are undertaking.
Would it help an athlete to look at a magazines on how to eat rich food and live an easy life? Would it help a star musician to work on carpentry and risk cutting off a finger? No one who takes on a job puts themselves into a situation that makes their job harder. That's just pragmatic. Don't make this harder than it already is. The cross is heavy enough without hanging stones on it or inviting people NOT carrying crosses to walk with you and mock you as you go (though Christ had to deal with that too).
Etc. Is it really so bad to want to have fun and be happy in this life? I mean, all of my atheist/agnostic friends are relatively happy, enjoy life, and have fun, and live life to its fullest - even in spite of hardships, etc. So I look around and think, "Why openly dive headfirst into suffering? Why not just life my life and be happy? Is that so wrong?"
I don't know if the above helps at all... Please forgive me for any offense I have caused. My desire is to show you love in Christ, though I know I often fail at that. As always, talk to your priest. Face to face... love is meant to be INCARNATE and PERSONAL (like our Lord). You don't have to walk alone in this.
I hope this makes sense...
It makes a LOT of sense. You are not alone.
With love,
Your brother in Christ,
Macarius
