Breastfeeding moms~ a place to chat

E got his teeth 2 at a time from 6.5 months to 23 months he got all 20 of his teeth. As for pain, I would keep unlatching him and re-latching him and we'd keep doing it until he could latch without hurting me, rubbing on me etc. Sometimes it would take 10-15 tries. Normally within 4-5 days of new teeth he'd have down latching around the new teeth not to hurt me. If he used me for a chew toy the feeding session was done and I handed him a chew toy or a icy wash cloth from the freezer to gnaw on. He also liked those really hard teething biscuits.

It's hard.

The head butting, the teething but it will get better.

Linnis, who told you that a cold turkey weaning is horribly mean and cruel? That's quite surprising to hear in regards to weaning a toddler.

I don't know who told Linnis that, but at LLL we generally recommend going the slow route to make it easier on the toddler (as well as the mom's breasts). It's cool though that she knew her toddler well enough to know that wouldn't work for him (IMO).

Linnis,
how exactly did you go cold turkey? Did you just tell him that the milk is gone? i wouldnt know what to say. Did you go cold turkey at night and day all at once? i know my cousin started by only allowing nursing before nap and at bedtime and eventually only at night..then finally ended the night time nursing. i just dont know. my anna is a real milkaholic..he he. she rolls over at night half asleep crying out "milks" and if she doesnt get them within a minute she screams so i cant picture this will be too easy. i think slowly weaning or cold turkey..theyy will both be horrible. i am so not looking forward to this..i am almost ready to just say..forget it and let her wean herself someday..but with my luck she wont wean till age 8..ha ha

MsDahl said:

Linnis, who told you that a cold turkey weaning is horribly mean and cruel? That's quite surprising to hear in regards to weaning a toddler.

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Quite a few extended nursing mothers I know then again one of my local groups I stopped going to because I keep getting told about my son's poisonous disposable diapers. LLL took a more medium ground approach and has always suggested "Don't ask don't refuse".

jgonz said:

I don't know who told Linnis that, but at LLL we generally recommend going the slow route to make it easier on the toddler (as well as the mom's breasts). It's cool though that she knew her toddler well enough to know that wouldn't work for him (IMO).

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Yes, LLL, has always recommended "don't ask don't refuse" when ever it's come up to wean a toddler.

I tried gradual weaning and it made our lives miserable.

RadicallyTransformedMom said:

Linnis,
how exactly did you go cold turkey? Did you just tell him that the milk is gone? i wouldnt know what to say. Did you go cold turkey at night and day all at once? i know my cousin started by only allowing nursing before nap and at bedtime and eventually only at night..then finally ended the night time nursing. i just dont know. my anna is a real milkaholic..he he. she rolls over at night half asleep crying out "milks" and if she doesnt get them within a minute she screams so i cant picture this will be too easy. i think slowly weaning or cold turkey..theyy will both be horrible. i am so not looking forward to this..i am almost ready to just say..forget it and let her wean herself someday..but with my luck she wont wean till age 8..ha ha

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I had been trying to limit him for almost a month. If I made him wait he would stomp his feet, kick, hit, bite etc and then even when I did nurse him he'd hurt me on purpose. He was very controlling and I simply did not enjoy the experience anymore.

He was so worried about when it would be time to nurse again.

So one day we came back from church and I was nursing him and reached to turn on the TV and he kicked me in the face [because he thought I should sit and do nothing while nursing no reading, eating or watching TV - he sometimes would kick me if I talked] and I said "Nope. No more. You are done." I had been feeling done and HATED nursing him by that point and that was the straw that broke that poor camals back.

After that he never nursed again.

I had out a sippy of water, juice and cow's milk and we went shopping for big boy cups as promised and he got apple juice and root beer [we'd disgussed weaning day before many times] as promised and he was fine. The first time he asked for milk he cried for like under 5 minutes but he cuddled up with Dad with water.

The first night was rough but he used my tummy for a pillow and it helped. We did a lot of cuddling but he'd lay on my tummy not my chest and he went to Dad for a lot of cuddles too which Daddy really loved.

Seriously the week of no milk had 90% less crying, tantrums etc than limited milk. I was happier to have my body back [I was having issues], the resentment I was beginning to feel was gone, he was happier and he wasn't stuck to me for hours [remember at 23 months he nursed 10-15 times a day easily and NEVER drank out of a cup even if he knew how.] so he began talking, playing, could leave with Daddy without mommy and be ok. Oh he also began eating and drinking. My son has gained more weight in the four months since weaning than in the 12 months before and for my seriously underweight child that's a huge blessing. I can't see his ribs anymore and his cheeks filled out and he has the toddler pot belly. So cute!

So while I don't recommend sudden weaning and am all for extended breastfeeding and know it's benefits for us gradual weaning didn't work and was more traumatic on the whole family including DS than sudden weaning.

He's still a cuddly, attached, well adjusted toddler and I believe while my decision was made heat of the moment that it turned out for the best.

Now will I do it if I have another, I don't know, it depends as every mother-child nursing relationship is different. I hope to have my own personal issues dealt with prior to the next kid so that won't be a factor.

I wrote a novel.

Linnis
thanks for sharing that. i totally understand why you felt it best to just stop. It really seems like you made the right choice and i am so glad it went so well. i don't know exactly what i am going to do with anna. i already do the "dont ask, dont refuse" and she still drinks 10-15 times a day..like you said. i know alot of it is just comfort nursing because if i try avoiding her and keep myself real busy she plays contently. if i sit down she automatically wants milk..every time..even if its just a few sucks..kwim? sigh. its hard. part of me feels like cold turkey weaning might not be a bad idea..but if i am going to do that i will probably wait 4 mos till she is 2. i just have a hard time seeing that it would work at night. Did your son still sleep with you at the time? she is right next to me in bed. hmmm..i gotta do some thinking

**i just re-read your post and noticed you said he sleeped on your tummy so i guess he was in bed with you. Anna DOES already drink juice or milk from sippy cups, but not very much or very often, maybe half a cup a day.

Hi Ladies, it's been a while! I'm so busy with 2 now.
I am still breastfeeding, we are at 4.5 months now, and it is going great. We also cosleep, and he still nurses reguarly through the night, but I don't have a problem with it, I am still feeling well rested.

He has just got his two bottom teeth, which I think is a little early! I'm a little worried about the first time he bites me! But I don't think he has worked out that he can do that yet. How bad is it??

RadicallyTransformedMom said:

Linnis
thanks for sharing that. i totally understand why you felt it best to just stop. It really seems like you made the right choice and i am so glad it went so well. i don't know exactly what i am going to do with anna. i already do the "dont ask, dont refuse" and she still drinks 10-15 times a day..like you said. i know alot of it is just comfort nursing because if i try avoiding her and keep myself real busy she plays contently. if i sit down she automatically wants milk..every time..even if its just a few sucks..kwim? sigh. its hard. part of me feels like cold turkey weaning might not be a bad idea..but if i am going to do that i will probably wait 4 mos till she is 2. i just have a hard time seeing that it would work at night. Did your son still sleep with you at the time? she is right next to me in bed. hmmm..i gotta do some thinking

**i just re-read your post and noticed you said he sleeped on your tummy so i guess he was in bed with you. Anna DOES already drink juice or milk from sippy cups, but not very much or very often, maybe half a cup a day.

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We had by that point already had him sleeping in his own bed half the night. He'd go to sleep in his own bed[I'd cut nursing to sleep out when he was 9 months old], then come in 6-8 hours later and nurse and then sleep the rest of the night. Since I wouldn't give him milk he cuddled using my tummy as a pillow or cuddling into Dad. I was wearing a nursing bra with a sports bra over it to help with the pain and so he couldn't help himself. I also kept a sippy of water on the end table for him to drink. Even now over 4 months weaned he'll still accept the cup, lay down cuddle up to me and drink from his cup.

I think what was hardest for me was giving up the cuddly middle of the night nursing because on the last 3-4 months it was the only time I enjoyed nursing and felt all those feelings I thought I was supposed to feel.

I don't want to sound like I am promoting sudden weaning because I'm not. In my experience it was better for us and less traumatic for everyone and so it worked. It may not work for anyone else.

Wow, Linnis, what a journey! Thank you for sharing, it is nice to be able to hear about other breastfeeding relationships, especially hearing about weaning an older nursling. I don't know any women offline nursing a child over the age of a year, it can get lonely at times.

What you described sounds a lot like nursing aversion. I've always interpreted that as nature's way of telling mothers that something has to change in the nursing relationship. I never understood the concept of nursing through nursing aversion just because "that's what 'they' say is best". (oh, when that infamous they creeps in, you know it's time to reevaluate....lol) Perhaps God has created those feelings to alert us that its time to lead in changing the nursing dynamic....after all, we still have many of our animalistic instincts (I'm a huge anthropology geek...lol). I'm not sure how others feel but I believe children are able to pick up on our subtle behavior changes, if mama is dreading nursing, find displeasure in it, or is feeling such strong feelings as hating the nursing session, the child does pick up on it. In such cases weaning is by far the better option over extended breastfeeding. Whenever I have felt negative about nursing my son, I took a break from nursing. I'd rather have him cry about not nursing while "I" was able to comfort him than nurse while I was feeling angry/frustrated/etc... and have my breasts comfort cuz truly, I don't believe my child would be comforted in the latter situation (anyway, I don't see my breasts as "me" but a part of me....sounds a lil strange I'm sure).

My boy has been drinking from a cup since 9 months and drinks a ton of cow's milk and water throughout the day after 12 months or so. I couldn't imagine if he refused to drink cow's milk from a cup....I don't think I could have lasted this long. That must have been difficult to withstand, Linnis. You sound like a very patient mama

He had reflux so until 15 months 95% of his diet was breast milk and a good half of his diet was breast milk until he weaned. So even if I wanted to wean for a long time it wasn't possible because breast milk kept him alive when he couldn't tolerate much if anything else. So In that respect I'm very happy I was able to nurse my sick baby as long as I did because I really do think he would have been a lot worse off if we had to go without it. Food and fluids by IV or feeding tube etc.

I tried so hard to make sure I was calm and not upset before he'd nurse but it's hard when the act is making your very skin crawl.

I hope and pray if I have another babe this one won't be sick and will be capable of bottle feeding even once a week for a break.

I really want to breastfeed. I hear so much good and how much more healthier it is for the baby.

My question for those vets of breastfeeding is: Does it take a newborn a long time to latch on making the feeding time a long experience?

lovinmylife~
Latching on takes a couple of seconds and the typical newborn will nurse for a looong time at each nursing session, so sometimes it seems like that's all you're doing all day long.

But, sometimes other factors play into how a newborn will latch on. If the mom has had an epidural or other pain meds, the baby can be sleepy and not want to latch on. Or, he/she may latch on right away but not Stay latched on long enough to get much. We often forget that while pain meds will be gone out of Our systems in a day or so, it can take Weeks for a newborn to rid him/herself of the meds because of the major difference in body weight.

So, getting your breastfeeding support network together before you have the baby is very important. That way you'll have people to call if you do run into issues after the baby is born. La Leche League is a great resource, and there are groups nearly everywhere. Here is the page for the USA, then you can click on state, etc. until you find one near you: http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html

Another good support is a Lactation Consultant. Usually a LLL leader will know of a good LC in your area. Some hospitals have good ones on staff (just depends on where you live). It's always good to ask around during your pregnancy, in case you have issues later.

A couple of excellent books to read and keep for references are: The Complete Book of Breastfeeding by Eiger & Olds, and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by LLL. You can find them at pretty much any bookstore, or amazon.com.

As far as how long a newborn nurses, it will totally depend on the individual baby. My newborns typically would nurse for around 30- 45 minutes at each session, and some of them were really sleepy so I had to keep waking them up to get them to nurse more. Other babies are born very efficient already and will latch on, nurse, and be done in 20 minutes or so. Like I said, it just depends on the individual baby.

One thing is for sure though, they ALL get better and more efficient as they hit their growth spurts. Typical growth spurts are 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 9 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months. During a growth spurt you'll have 2 or 3 days of non-stop nursing and a LOT of moms (even those of us who've been through it before) will question whether we have enough milk.... but it's the baby demanding more from our bodies. The more demand/stimulation to the breast, the more milk is made. Pure & simple.

^^ definitely.

Not to mention the one thing most folks do not tell you... with all that sucking that wasn't before - your nipples get sore and sometimes cracked and bleed. That's when things like Lanisoh come in handy. I don't think anything short of a sand storm or sandpaper can get you ready for it.

But it is so rewarding once your milk starts stabilizing and you and the baby start working as one. Even with the teething and all, there's something very special about the baby coming to you or crying for your supply.

It's interesting... I never cracked & bled, or even really got very sore. I didn't have any major breastfeeding issues either with my other 6 that I nursed exclusively. I guess the Lord was saving up for my experience with Abel.

Wow.

Thank You all for the information. The hospital I will be delivering at has a 24 hour lactation consultant to contact. I will also have my mom with me , but she bottle fed me so it will be new for her as well, but she will be there for support. I also heard your could get build up in a milk duct and the pain is awful if it gets swollen or really inflamed.

lovein mylife, Congratulations on your pregnancy. It sounds like you're doing your research when it comes to breastfeeding, that's great! You need to be prepared. Yes you can get a blocked duct which can get infected. The best thing to do about it is to nurse often from that side, massage it in the shower, and you can 'point' the baby in the right direction to best drain that duct. You can also see a doctor if it gets infected (mastitis) and he can prescribe antibiotics for it. I've had mastitis twice, it's not as bad as it sounds.
As for latching on. It took us a few weeks to learn how to latch on properly, and my baby was veeeerrrrry sleepy at the breast and I had to really try to keep him awake in order to get him to take a full meal. In those first two months nursing took us 90 minutes per feed. But this is extreme. And they get more alert and more efficient as they get older. Matt now only takes 10 minutes and then he wants to hop down and play.
When you have your baby, surround yourself with women with experience who can help you to deal with the difficulties which may arise. And don't allow formula as an option! (In normal circumstances). Don't keep it in the house, and don't give baby even one bottle feed. Comp feeding is not sustainable for most people (jgonz is not most people ), and it is that first bottle which leads to a bottle fed rather than breast fed baby.



Matt had his vaccinations today and the doctor weighed and measured him and now he wants us to come back next month to be weighed again and 'kept an eye on'. Matt's weight puts him in the 25th percentile. I seriously don't think that the 25th percentile is that bad. We wouldn't be worried about overfeeding a baby in the 75th percentile, would we? Silly doctor.

jgonz said:

lovinmylife~
Latching on takes a couple of seconds and the typical newborn will nurse for a looong time at each nursing session, so sometimes it seems like that's all you're doing all day long.

But, sometimes other factors play into how a newborn will latch on. If the mom has had an epidural or other pain meds, the baby can be sleepy and not want to latch on. Or, he/she may latch on right away but not Stay latched on long enough to get much. We often forget that while pain meds will be gone out of Our systems in a day or so, it can take Weeks for a newborn to rid him/herself of the meds because of the major difference in body weight.

So, getting your breastfeeding support network together before you have the baby is very important. That way you'll have people to call if you do run into issues after the baby is born. La Leche League is a great resource, and there are groups nearly everywhere. Here is the page for the USA, then you can click on state, etc. until you find one near you: http://www.llli.org/WebUS.html

Another good support is a Lactation Consultant. Usually a LLL leader will know of a good LC in your area. Some hospitals have good ones on staff (just depends on where you live). It's always good to ask around during your pregnancy, in case you have issues later.

A couple of excellent books to read and keep for references are: The Complete Book of Breastfeeding by Eiger & Olds, and The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by LLL. You can find them at pretty much any bookstore, or amazon.com.

As far as how long a newborn nurses, it will totally depend on the individual baby. My newborns typically would nurse for around 30- 45 minutes at each session, and some of them were really sleepy so I had to keep waking them up to get them to nurse more. Other babies are born very efficient already and will latch on, nurse, and be done in 20 minutes or so. Like I said, it just depends on the individual baby.

One thing is for sure though, they ALL get better and more efficient as they hit their growth spurts. Typical growth spurts are 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 9 weeks, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months. During a growth spurt you'll have 2 or 3 days of non-stop nursing and a LOT of moms (even those of us who've been through it before) will question whether we have enough milk.... but it's the baby demanding more from our bodies. The more demand/stimulation to the breast, the more milk is made. Pure & simple.

Click to expand...

I would add that with some babies it can be painful, though some not so much, as has been our experience, but that this lessens greatly as the baby become a more skilled eater and their mouth get bigger. Be prepared for a little frustration, but getting the latch right is one of the most important factors in nursing success.

Little babies can have some trouble, especially because their mouth might be small and this can make nursing painful, because they can't get enough areola in their mouth.

My wife gives:

Lansinoh cream to mothers who intend to nurse as a shower gift (along with a few other goodies we've used liberally along the way). The key to the whole thing is to get them to open wide, you can put a finger gently on their chin to open their little mouth. I wonder how many women fail nursing just because they're afraid to open babies mouth.

It won't be long and we'll have our fifth baby. My wife's life will center around the new baby, and I'll attempt to balance the rest of our life around its nursing. Then, she'll go back to work, and I'll give the baby breast milk by bottle.

Assisi said:

lovein mylife, Congratulations on your pregnancy. It sounds like you're doing your research when it comes to breastfeeding, that's great! You need to be prepared. Yes you can get a blocked duct which can get infected. The best thing to do about it is to nurse often from that side, massage it in the shower, and you can 'point' the baby in the right direction to best drain that duct. You can also see a doctor if it gets infected (mastitis) and he can prescribe antibiotics for it. I've had mastitis twice, it's not as bad as it sounds.
As for latching on. It took us a few weeks to learn how to latch on properly, and my baby was veeeerrrrry sleepy at the breast and I had to really try to keep him awake in order to get him to take a full meal. In those first two months nursing took us 90 minutes per feed. But this is extreme. And they get more alert and more efficient as they get older. Matt now only takes 10 minutes and then he wants to hop down and play.
When you have your baby, surround yourself with women with experience who can help you to deal with the difficulties which may arise. And don't allow formula as an option! (In normal circumstances). Don't keep it in the house, and don't give baby even one bottle feed. Comp feeding is not sustainable for most people (jgonz is not most people ), and it is that first bottle which leads to a bottle fed rather than breast fed baby.



Matt had his vaccinations today and the doctor weighed and measured him and now he wants us to come back next month to be weighed again and 'kept an eye on'. Matt's weight puts him in the 25th percentile. I seriously don't think that the 25th percentile is that bad. We wouldn't be worried about overfeeding a baby in the 75th percentile, would we? Silly doctor.

Click to expand...

Same thing happened with my third child. He actually dropped down on the weight chart, although he still had good height. But, the doctor just wanted to keep an eye on him, just in case, because he had was somewhat unusual. He's been perfectly healthy, and it seems like what you're describing is just what doctors do... normal medicine to make sure your child isn't malnourished or something... for whatever reason... and I guess there are a lot of things that it almost assuredly isn't, but might be... ussually they're just gifted with a healthy metabolism.