OCD Help

I know I have OCD but I need some help and understanding. I'm new here but before I became a member I read some of the OCD stories. I have suffered from OCD for a while, when I was younger I would have to go back and touch things or I couldn't leave the tv volume set on and odd number. It sounds strange but you have to have been there to get it. My OCD caused me to have blashphemous thoughts that caused me to feel worthless, unforgivable, and made me ill. I have always known God but never began to understand The Word like I do now. I watch Joyce Meyer alot and she has helped me. I want to live a Christian life, but I have commited many sins and I know that there are no "big" sins, they are all the same. I feel horrible for them, I never want to commit them again and I have asked for forgiveness. But my question is, why do I still feel unforgivable or why am I afraid that God doesn't believe that I am sorry? I feel like I am not doing it "right"...does that makes sense? I have good days and I have horribly bad days. I'm thankful there is a place like this that helps people.

Feeling unforgivable, and feeling that you are not doing it "right" is exactly the problem with ocd. Call it for what it is - a feeling (a pretty horrible feeling, I know).

It's like "knowing" your hands are clean, but "feeling" dirty.

marcb I hate to hear that anyone else is going through this but thank you for giving me some comfort. With OCD is there a panic and anxiety problem? I don't know if anyone else has felt like this but I also feel like that I am praying for forgivness and I want to turn my life around, but then I wonder....am I doing this because I want to or just so I can keep myself out of hell? It scares me and makes me sick to my stomach, it's like I wonder if I really care? Is that normal or has anyone else felt like this? I feel so alone and scared.