Our (very wonderful) coffee shop, just for us!

Jeshu · Dec 19, 2008

arizonasunset said:
You're far from being a whimp soul.

I have difficulty with what I watch and nightmares.

Certain events on the news can trigger me to be paranoid and afraid.

So I monitor those things.

I even go so far as to know what I can and can't watch depending on if I'm depressed or not.

That includes music; however, I mostly listen to Christian music... have for years.

But there is some Christian music that will take me back to a really bad period of time and I have to skip it.

What I really dislike, and where I feel like a whimp is when the low or high affects my prayer time.

When even it's what I live for... but during these other times I feel so far away and have to "make myself do it".

It was impossible to explain during my younger years and I just quit trying to.

It almost seemed as if any "normal" people did not have to do that.

I don't think that's accurate to be honest.

We all struggle with the discipline of prayer at times... I'm really quite sure of it.

And don't get on me for saying "normal" people.

Standard saying in my home concerning abnormality and people finding my ways "not in step":

"Nooooooo. I'm normal and you're the abnormal one!"

Hi Arizonasunset

When you talk about music taking you to horrible places within yourself, please know, that it are these places that God wants to make His dwelling place in as well and in particular.

Rev 2:12-13

These are the words of him who has the sharp, double-edged sword. 13 I know where you live-where Satan has his throne. Yet you remain true to my name. You did not renounce your faith in me, even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was put to death in your city-where Satan lives.

Please understand that unlovingness and lies, who have conquered you there, most likely through other peoples sin, that you have gone wrongly to work with, and now have become hotbeds for more unlovingness to enter you. You (in your rages) heeding/eating unlovingness and 'fornicating' ( worshipping unloving demand) - with it - being unloving even towards yourself and in how you serve God - this causes these horrific rages to erupt within you - causing terrible times of desolation for you at other times.

Rev 2:14-16
14 Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: You have people there who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin by eating food sacrificed to idols and by committing sexual immorality. 15 Likewise you also have those who hold to the teaching of the Nicolaitans. 16 Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.

Almost all my depression was caused by my own unlovingness growing in my sensitive parts- they call it P.T.S.D - where trauma killed good and bad lives - where salvation just wouldn't seem to come true - and suffering was my constant reward - my rages taking me to lying unlovingness time and again.

Please know however that when we carefully and lovingly supported, exposing what lives there, this is very good, as then the Light of God's Loving Truth can heal you there and the fearful darkness will pass away.

Rev 2:17

17 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.

I hope this makes sense to you.

Gerry :wave:

arizonasunset · Dec 19, 2008

Jeshu said:
Hi Arizonasunset

When you talk about music taking you to horrible places within yourself, please know, that it are these places that God wants to make His dwelling place in as well and in particular.

Rev 2:12-13

These are the words of him who has the sharp, double-edged sword. 13 I know where you live-where Satan has his throne. Yet you remain true to my name. You did not renounce your faith in me, even in the days of Antipas, my faithful witness, who was put to death in your city-where Satan lives.

Please understand that unlovingness and lies, who have conquered you there, most likely through other peoples sin, that you have gone wrongly to work with, and now have become hotbeds for more unlovingness to enter you. You (in your rages) heeding/eating unlovingness and 'fornicating' ( worshipping unloving demand) - with it - being unloving even towards yourself and in how you serve God - this causes these horrific rages to erupt within you - causing terrible times of desolation for you at other times.

Rev 2:14-16
14 Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: You have people there who hold to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to entice the Israelites to sin by eating food sacrificed to idols and by committing sexual immorality. 15 Likewise you also have those who hold to the teaching of the Nicolaitans. 16 Repent therefore! Otherwise, I will soon come to you and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.

Almost all my depression was caused by my own unlovingness growing in my sensitive parts- they call it P.T.S.D - where trauma killed good and bad lives - where salvation just wouldn't seem to come true - and suffering was my constant reward - my rages taking me to lying unlovingness time and again.

Please know however that when we carefully and lovingly supported, exposing what lives there, this is very good, as then the Light of God's Loving Truth can heal you there and the fearful darkness will pass away.

Rev 2:17

17 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.

I hope this makes sense to you.

Gerry

Actually no it doesn't make sense to me.

I believe I'm being told the music I listen to is wrong.

I also believe I'm being told that I haven't worked on anything to OVERCOME things.

Both are wrong.

Please explain what you are talking about. And please give a definition to unlovingness. I have no idea what that means or refers to.

Please don't assume and I pray you are not.

I haven't been asked any questions concerning where I have been or how the Lord worked and continues to work with me.

I had a laundry list of diagnosis... had is the key word.

It doesn't mean things still won't rear up... but I have found the key of David.

Please explain yourself.

Jeshu · Dec 20, 2008

arizonasunset said:
Actually no it doesn't make sense to me.

I believe I'm being told the music I listen to is wrong.

I also believe I'm being told that I haven't worked on anything to OVERCOME things.

Both are wrong.

Please explain what you are talking about. And please give a definition to unlovingness. I have no idea what that means or refers to.

Please don't assume and I pray you are not.

I haven't been asked any questions concerning where I have been or how the Lord worked and continues to work with me.

I had a laundry list of diagnosis... had is the key word.

It doesn't mean things still won't rear up... but I have found the key of David.

Please explain yourself.

Please forgive me for making you think I would accuse you, such is not the case. I know you love the Lord and struggle against wrong. Yet wrong usually doesn't come from without but from within - as it dwells in our hearts.

So us calling all kind of things wrong, food, music, clothing, religion e.t.c is not the wrong but the wrong within us looking at such things that's the problem.

Satan is inside of us and from there he attacks God's good - making us scared outside things are wrong or evil while it is his voice suggesting such things that is the problem.

If you have areas in your life where you are not free - can do as you like - then Christ has been around yet and it would be foolish for us to claim victory.

This is where rage comes from - unloving control inside!

The Bible is a spiritually book, guiding us through our psychological make-up, addressing all these parts of our lives where loving trut5h hasn't conquered yet!

Apply it like this and you will understand much better what I tried to tell you at first.

Gerry

(You asked me to define unlovingness, I say, that which is opposed to God's law of love! Here have a look how the bible sums it up - Revelation 17)

Soulwings · Dec 20, 2008

I'm going to stay out of this discussion... please, one thing I ask, as the creator of the thread... if it's going to get a little too heated, could y'all take it elsewhere? :sorry:

because I don't want this thread to get too carried away. I'm not saying that what you're discussing isn't important... I just don't want to scare away other members with a, well, heated discussion. I hope I didn't offend either of you. :sorry:

:-S

...

Arizona, I have to avoid certain music as well... sometimes even Christian, not because the words trigger me, but because it carries me back to the days when I was not quite as healthy and living for God as I am now. (Not to say that I'm perfect in my walk, no, far from, but I am trying harder now than I was back then.) Mostly, though, the music that I avoid is European Goth rock... one cd in particular, since it used to be the music to which I cut, late at night, alone in a quiet, dark house.

Haha, yes, "normal" people do also have trouble with their prayer times. It's hard to keep it steady and regular and wanting to do it 24/7/365. I don't think that anyone can do that, mentally ill or not. Actually, I don't think that mental illness plays a part in that at all, minus the highs and lows affecting it - what I mean is, it's normal - yes, normal!! - to struggle with prayer - and even in people who aren't mentally ill, there are highs and lows that affect their wanting to do it. Just normal highs and lows (which I cannot imagine, but know exist).

I hope what I said makes sense. If not, well, it's early in the morning and my coffee has not quite taken effect.

(That's always my excuse.......

) I also hope that I didn't offend. And no, I don't mind the use of the label "normal" ... don't see a problem with it, because that is just how we think. Normal and abnormal are both quite relative. But... I won't get into that now, since I don't think that my brain could handle it.

...

I'm doing alright. I'll be heading off to my NP's in about half an hour - yes, I'm going to be leaving at 7:45 to get there by 9:30. I know, I know, it's crazy, but that will make sure that I get there on time. The roads are far from good due to the snow we got yesterday, and I have to go over back roads... so yeah. There is no (easy) way that I could take the highway. I just hope that I can handle the snow alright. I'm not used to driving in it, since this is my first winter of having my own car and having to drive in snow. My parents never taught me how to drive in snow when I was first starting out; not sure if that was smart or stupid, to be honest. But prayers about safe travel would be fantastic, if anyone reads this before 9:30am EST.

I'm really tired... wow. I had weird dreams last night but can't remember them all (thankfully, I suppose). Jarrod went in for work today, which is why I'm having difficulty remembering that it's a Saturday (haha)... after my NP appt I might drop by my parents', I don't know. I want to see them, but I don't want to have to drive up their hill. We've had difficulty in the past... I suppose I could ask them to pick me up at the bottom of the hill, where I can park. Blehh. But I've not even called yet to see if I can come over, so we'll see. Heh. I'm sure that they'd be okay with it, if they don't have any other plans. My sister is home now, so we could hang out some too.

I did go over to my parents' on Thursday, and we did decorate for Christmas, the whole house. It looks lovely... the tree is up; I should take a photo of it and post it... so pretty. I love Christmas. I brought my gifts over and put them under the tree... so it's starting to look festive as well. I know that Christmas isn't all about the gifts and all, but I'm sure that God smiles down on those who find joy in giving gifts, rather than just in the receiving. I hope He does, anyway

because I do find joy in giving people things. Especially what I know will be the perfect gift.

Anyway, I'm going to go get ready to go, call my parents, etc. :hug:

s to all. ♥

lmarie23 · Dec 20, 2008

Hi everyone.

April, I pray that you got to your NP's safely and back. Did you end up going to your parents' as well? I prayed for your travels but it wasn't until 9 this morning when I read this, so yeah.

My purse was on clearance, yes, but it wasn't cheap - it was $19. But it's a large purse. It's a brown leather purse that just is so stylish looking, it's very wide and very short with a long handle. I've been looking for a larger purse that is cool-looking and doesn't look motherly, you know? I have this stripey one I've been using but it's so busy, it has all these colorful stripes on it and it's just kind of wild. brown and orange and pink stripes. this one is more subdued. i like to wear fun clothes and accessories, haha.

today was a good but busy day. last night was fantastic, the talent night i went to was so incredible and wonderfully random. i'll write about it when i'm in a writing mood. right now i just feel like mellowing out and maybe doing some painting.... plus i need to make dinner... i'm hungry....

happy weekend everyone

Christmas is coming up!

Lynne

BlessedMommy05 · Dec 20, 2008

I'll say this but as April as asked we dont want to get into a heated discussion.. So here's my take.. Alot of music for me speaks to me in such a way to where if I find myself broken and I listen to something that speaks those words of brokness it helps me lift the pain or what to God.. If I listen to something that is uplifting or tells of pain and sandness then those words are like some thing I can relate to as far as music..

Now what I'm going to say isnt easy for me or for anyone else and please respect that I'm not sounding rude or anything.. We all should do what is best for ourselves, and what I mean is if we want to listen to certain music we should, or believe a certain way we should it doesnt make it "wrong" unless we feel it is wrong.. Not saying go out and harm yourself or do somthing illegal no.. But those things that are insisde of us we should feel ok to do.. Such as music, cloths, our own feelings arent wrong unless we feel those certain things are wrong..

So best to not worry about what others think, worry about "How" you think and feel.. If you dont feel right about cerain music or food or cloths then dont do it.. Simple.. As Christians we bash each other over the most stupid things and yet we cant be-friend someone who's struggling and needs advice or a lift up in prayer or a hug if your a hug type person.. I just feel that alot of times we all need to do whats right for ourselves and read the word and ask God if its right.. But remember alot of things are grey areas to our own feelings and the word of God..

OK, I hope that didnt offend anyone or hurt, just had to be said.. April I"m sorry if anything I say here isnt good, not trying to go into a deep discussion just shared advice..

I'm busy today doing laundry and cleaning b4 Christmas Eve.. I've got a bit of a headache due to my sinus or what not cant be sure, but I'll take some thing in a few mins. Picked up allergy meds yeterday due to my hey-fever

Well, I'm off to change the wash.. I'll check back later.. Much Love all!

Alive again · Dec 20, 2008

Hello all, I have dearly missed you all. Welcome Arizona! I have tried to peak in now and then while gone, but am so far behind with everything and esp post here, I will just have to let go and not go back and read everything like usual. Thank you all for your prayers on our longer than planned journey. Finances will be a mess for a couple of months (or longer) due to this trip and missed work. I did clean up a bit of the disaster from having my son house sit while we were gone today and got out between storms to get wally world and grocery errands done. Now maybe I can do a few things to get ready for
Christmas. . .like decorate and bake, I am hiding from work (job) though!!!

I have applied for a new job though and will see next week ofr so if I get it. Hugs and prayers to all here!

arizonasunset · Dec 20, 2008

Soulwings said:
I'm going to stay out of this discussion... please, one thing I ask, as the creator of the thread... if it's going to get a little too heated, could y'all take it elsewhere? because I don't want this thread to get too carried away. I'm not saying that what you're discussing isn't important... I just don't want to scare away other members with a, well, heated discussion. I hope I didn't offend either of you. :-S

No worries soul. I won't do that to you. It was greatly misunderstood what it was I was saying and I'm going to leave it at that.
...

Arizona, I have to avoid certain music as well... sometimes even Christian, not because the words trigger me, but because it carries me back to the days when I was not quite as healthy and living for God as I am now. (Not to say that I'm perfect in my walk, no, far from, but I am trying harder now than I was back then.) Mostly, though, the music that I avoid is European Goth rock... one cd in particular, since it used to be the music to which I cut, late at night, alone in a quiet, dark house.

Goth? Wow, I don't know anything about that music.
Until there's healing in my marriage there is some Christian music for me as well.
Simply because it reminds me of a time when the Lord was so gracious and loving carrying me through.
It was a very dark period of time in marriage and I'm happy that the Lord is working on it... but it's hard.
I'll be glad when both me and my husband are on the other side and can see the wonders of His works.

Haha, yes, "normal" people do also have trouble with their prayer times. It's hard to keep it steady and regular and wanting to do it 24/7/365. I don't think that anyone can do that, mentally ill or not. Actually, I don't think that mental illness plays a part in that at all, minus the highs and lows affecting it - what I mean is, it's normal - yes, normal!! - to struggle with prayer - and even in people who aren't mentally ill, there are highs and lows that affect their wanting to do it. Just normal highs and lows (which I cannot imagine, but know exist).

I must agree soul. Although I've met some that "claim" too.

I hope what I said makes sense. If not, well, it's early in the morning and my coffee has not quite taken effect. (That's always my excuse....... ) I also hope that I didn't offend. And no, I don't mind the use of the label "normal" ... don't see a problem with it, because that is just how we think. Normal and abnormal are both quite relative. But... I won't get into that now, since I don't think that my brain could handle it.

No offense taken and I didn't mean to upset you.
Thanks for your response and hope your NP visit went well.
My meds aren't helping me sleep at all.
But I do see a dr on Monday... so we'll see.
Prayerfully he won't ask about the "stress" in my marriage.
I've heard for four years now that I should divorce.
And this past month the church we began attending told me we would endu up divorced.
However the Lord gave me a Word after agonizing in prayer.
And we have an outline... but there seems to be no support from anyone anywhere for either one of us.
...

Soulwings · Dec 21, 2008

Yey, lots of posts.

...

Lynne, I did manage to get to my NP's. The appt wasn't that great of a one, though, but I handled it okay, and finally threw out some pills that I had been keeping for if I needed a "quick way out." I got really angry about that last night, though, because I felt like everyone, Jarrod included, was pressuring me to throw them out, and had been for awhile. I'm still angry this morning... and it is a very foreign feeling to me, anger. I'm rarely angry and when I am I usually explode and get it out that way. Now I'm just full of slowly burning anger, that is not coming out at all... and I don't want to bring up the topic with Jarrod again because I hurt him by getting hurt by him, if that makes sense, because he wasn't the most understanding (that is one of his crosses to bear - that he is not as empathic as is possible). So all I have is people online to really talk about it.

I'm just... so... ANGRY!!!!!

Anyway. Sorry about that. :sorry:

That purse sounds really cool!! I love looking at purses. The one I currently have and have had for awhile is black denim, large-ish, and it has a Happy Bunny keychain for a zipper pull for the front pouch (my addition

), so - to me - it looks pretty cool. And it carries everything I need, from makeup (which I rarely wear) to an AK-47 to a book. (Just kidding about the AK-47... :angel:

) I have a really busy purse, too, bright blue and green plaid quilted. I've not used it much, though, only for airplane trips, because all of my pill bottles fit in it, as well as other (needed) stuff.

Yes, please, do write about the talent show!! Did you perform at all??

:hug:

...

Laura, you're right, I think. I mean... well, let me try to write what I think in terms of what you wrote. (This is going to be hard...

) Right and wrong are clearly spelled out in the Bible, for most things. We should follow these guidelines to be healthy Christians. But there are things not covered in the Bible, like music (just an example). If you feel comfortable listening to secular music and like it doesn't affect your spiritual walk, fine. If you feel like it does, get rid of it. If you're listening to some Christian music that brings you pain because of memories, and those memories hurt you, then - even though it is Christian music, and shouldn't harm you - don't listen to it. As far as clothes go, well, I think there is a limit... some of the clothes that are out there now aren't much better than underclothing... but to some extent, clothes too. Modesty is highly prized in the Bible, though.

But anyway. Those are my thoughts on what you posted, Laura. I hope they made sense... and I hope that I understood what you were saying alright. :hug:

I also think that we do bash each other over silly things, sometimes... but I don't want to get into that here.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, though - thanks very much, and it wasn't unwelcome. :hug:

...

Arizona, Goth music is... well, European Goth music is different from American Goth music (i.e., Evanescence). I tend to listen more to the former than the latter, because Euro Goth rock is much more palatable and less, well, disgusting. They sing a lot more about melancholy things and ballads rather than writing songs about cutting and suicide. So... I guess they use more symbolism than actually talking straight-up about tough stuff. I don't know. I just know that I like that type of music better and feel better listening to it than I do listening to My Chemical Romance or Evanescence.

Hopefully your dr. appt goes well tomorrow. I will be praying about it. :hug:

If you and your husband are willing to work together on the issues that are causing you difficulties in your marriage, then I don't see why you should divorce. And I don't understand why no one is supporting you in your decision to fight to keep your marriage alive. Divorce is ugly for all involved. I will keep that in my prayers as well, and know that you have my support, even though I don't really know the details. :hug:

...

Laurie, good to hear from you!! I'm glad to hear that you made it home safely. What other job are you looking at?

Yey, Christmas!!! Hehe. What are you going to be baking??

...

Today is going to be a busy day. Jarrod and I are going to be going to church, and then probably to my parents' to have lunch and maybe do hoof-trimming for the girls (two sheep - already did the goat's hooves a few months ago). I really need to get that done... I hate doing it, because it's just... blah. Hard to catch the sheep, because as soon as they see a halter, they know that something's up, and I'm scared to see how awful their hooves are. I am a horrible person.

Should've trimmed them back in October... now it's going to be like a pruning.

And maybe, if I get them done, then we can go sledding. I don't know about that, though......

Guess I'm just not in a good place right now. Angry, frustrated, tired, sick of life.

...

:hug:

s for all.

Alive again · Dec 21, 2008

Dear April, I know that animals need hooves trimmed-been there done that and still do it for my friend and some of my own. But being b fusy and getting out of step with a trimming schedule so does NOT make you a horrible person, just a busy one who is getting to what needs to be done when she can. I have been so sadden sometimes by how my animals feet look when I have time, but it just defines me as a busy person (when I can finally reason beyond that feeling of horror at myselfor my oversight) Hugs!

Alive again · Dec 21, 2008

So I am feeling better today, but have an ice and snowstorm out my window. So glad to be home after that 3000 mile journey. The worst snow we ran into was in the Mojave desert. Got stranded one night in a little town called Mojave with all roads into and out of town closed and 'no room at the inn' the local little SOuthern Baptist church opened its doors and let people sleep on floors and pews and kept them supplied with warm coffe, cookies, etc. Twas such a blessing. God saw us thorug h in so many ways, so many answered prayers from big to small. I am less tired today, but my hubby is driving me NITS! Not a stitch of Christmas and he doesn't want to do onything for it. I just feel liek there is nothing but the presnts this year and that is so not what Christmas is aobut to me, so I ampraying to stay away from rage and not to turn what may be my kids last Christmas hone for a while into an angry memory. So am not sure whether I will be baking opr cleaning or what today, not even really sure I am done with shoppign and ther eis no going out today! Church was even canceled due to the freezing rain on top of the snow and sleet, We have 8 inches outside and we rarely get snow here in the Pacific Northwest.

Arizona, I am here for you, pm or email me anytime. I have been married 25 years this year, despite my mother and others encouraging me to divorce my hubby. God has doen some things that have amazed me, but it is still a very difficult marriage. But I feel also that I am her for the long run. Hugs and prayers to all

Jeshu, thatnks for your welcome home! Glad you had a level day the otehr day, hope it last for months for you!

Laura, thinking of you as well today. You are an excellent moderate voice and peacemaker!

Lynne, oh, htat purse sounds wonderful! I had a purple purse for years, but have about worn it out and cannot find another that is my fav color and functional for what I carry!

lmarie23 · Dec 21, 2008

Hi everyone.

April, I hope that the hoof-trimming is not too bad.

Laurie, I'm so glad you got back from your trip safely. Nice to be home

.

Arizona, I'm so sorry to hear that people are pushing you to divorce. I like to think that no marriage is without hope, nothing is impossible with God, and I'm glad to hear you want to work things out.

Laura, sounds like you have been keeping busy as always. Your posts always sound so attractive to me - I want to be a wife and mother someday so badly!

~~~

The talent night I went to on Friday was lovely and unusual, but for me unusual is also great. My friend Y and I were the first ones there, which was a little awkward because it was just us and the guy who was putting it on, who I don't know very well, I just got to know him at this party I went to a few weeks ago. But it was cool. People were really slow in getting there and for the thing to get started.

But then:
a senior in fashion design college demonstrated some of the clothes she designed and sewed, and her friends modeled them for us. they were inspired by this Walt Whitman poem and from the idea of "genesis." They were really cool clothes, very unique and fancy.

a guy juggled while he had us make noises to go with his juggling. he juggled these bean bags that were handmade chicken-shaped beanbags, he juggled rings, and he juggled bowling pins. he was really good! it was fun to watch him.

a girl read a psalm.

a girl made a train whistle sound with her hands. very accurate!

a girl played a Copeland piece on the violin

the host put on this modern music piece where he had his girlfriend measure the heights of the people in the audience and the distances between us and the aisle so he could calculate the open space in the sanctuary and adjust the music according to this formula, and had us play these notes on handbells while a girl played with us on the organ. and he played computer noises with it. it was interesting

a girl read Shel Silverstein poems.

i played a Jennifer Knapp song (In Two (The Lament)) on the piano and sang it

a girl danced the hula while singing the Hawaiian song that goes with it, then she sang a pop song

a guy showed photos alternately of beauty and destruction, and talked about how these are the most powerful forces in the world, and how their contrast is so interesting. he had taken the photos himself and they were amazing. the destruction ones were mostly from when he went down and helped out with the aftermath of Katrina. (this is the guy i might have a crush on)

a girl showed her art projects (she's a senior art major majoring in new media art). the one was about how we reinvent nature to make it more palatable and to make it fit into our world better. so it showed these manmade constructions that had elements of nature in them, and then she put in stuffed animals or plastic animals somewhere in the photo. the second project was a video project where she showed 3 videos simultaneously. it was about how abandonment as a child affects you as you grow up. she had pieced together all these video clips on the three different screens. some were videos she had taken herself, some were videos she had found, some were cartoons, all sorts of things. the videos became more abstract and symbolic, she explained, talking about the mental state of the growing child. and there's a really dark part in the middle, about how the child "blacks out" for a while as they grow, and then they wake up and they're older, the way life goes sometimes. it's hard to explain, but i thought it was so so so cool

so that was my night. and i got to talk to all these cool people. and it's like, wow, there are weird people out there who are into art and music and poetry like me, and talk philosophically about things, this is so awesome!

yesterday my Bible study was at my leaders' house, and they made homemade waffles for us with my friend's Cinderella waffle iron, and bacon, and we talked about Christmas and compared the movie Elf with Christian truths after we watched an Elf clip. it was great.

then i went to my friends' house and gave them their belated wedding present, the turtle painting. i think they really liked it. my friend's mom insisted i stay for lunch, she made homemade taco soup.

then i helped my mom Christmas shop.

then i took pictures of the ice storm around town and in the park. i saw a bride come into the park in a horse-drawn carriage - there is a reception hall at the lodge there. very cool.

then i went to my parents' and we watched this cute movie, i showed my mom my photos, and we played Mexican Train dominos.

all in all a very good day, just one bad thing, i am very worried about my best friend right now, because of some things she told me on the phone yesterday

she's supposed to come over in a little while. i am anxious to see her.

Lynne

BlessedMommy05 · Dec 21, 2008

Thanks Girls!

Wow I didnt know if my post were anyway encouraging or what..But I try and share life as I have it now, even as busy as it is..Life doesnt stop! So thankyou, you both your post are wonderful and filled with the same life I have kind of cool to see..

April I totally get what you mean.. I try and offere up advice and share my own experiences, good or bad.. I understand where you were going with your post also. So no harm done.. Yes the Bible does give us guiedlines to whats right and wrong, but often I feel that its alot of grey areas.. But the Bible is and always have been a sounding board for the things in our lives that help us.. The reason I mention music to help me relate to my life such as memories or how I feel.. For example Steve Green sings this song called In Brokeness You Shine and I can relate to it why, cuz to me even in the mist of trials, and brokness God shines through.. See my meaing?

BTW April did you get my PM message? Just wondering you dont need to reply if you dont have time or what not. No big..

So yesterday was spent busy as a bee,cleaning today I have a lil bit to do but oy I am sore! This cold isnt helping and supposed to rain soon to.. Oy! I love rain but I gotta finish this laundry b4 Christmas.. Then sweep and frsehen up the bathroom.. Other than that not much going on.. Chilling as much as possible enjoying a day.. Tomorrow will be busy unless it rains..

Well I'll check back later.. Much love !

Soulwings · Dec 21, 2008

Well, not surprisingly, the hoof-trimming didn't get done today either. :doh:

Laurie, I know I am a busy person, but I still feel horrible... ugh. Glad to know that someone can understand where I'm coming from though... and thank you for your kind words!! :hug:

The ice storm sounds awful - and do you really not get that much snow there? I wouldn't've really imagined that, not at first thought anyway. I hope you and yours stay safe.

I'm sorry about your husband not wanting to do much for Christmas.

What all do you want to do, and what would you do if you could do anything to celebrate that you wanted to do?

I'm glad to hear that there are other people on this site that think the way I do - that marriage is a here-to-stay relationship. That it's permanent. I think that the only reason for divorce is adultery, and not always that, if both parties are willing to work through the issues surrounding the faithlessness. I believe that God is there and will help relationships heal and wounds close. Of course, it may be easy for me to say that, since I'm just starting off on that journey myself, but I figure that if I have that attitude from the beginning, things can't get too bad... or if they do, then I - then Jarrod and I BOTH - will have the perseverence to stick them out, to weather the storm and stick close to God.

...

Lynne, that talent show sounds really cool!! Wow. What was your favorite thing? and how did the playing/singing go? were you at all nervous?

I'm glad that you found some people like you. Yes, they do exist!!

I hope that things are okay with your best friend. Saying a prayer for her and for you. :hug:

...

So my day has been pretty good so far, even though the hoof-trimming didn't get done.

() Church was really awesome; the title of the sermon was "Kingdom Rising" and was about how Jesus has come (birth, not the second coming, obviously) and how the world never was and would be the same again after He was born. At the end of the service, it was really dramatic - the head pastor, who was preaching today, said something about how Jesus has come and we are children of the Kingdom!! and then cymbals clashed from behind us, and four boys on percussion came parading down the center aisle, wearing green and gold uniforms. The worship team was up in the center and starting singing a song about Jesus having come and redeemed us all, and the sanctuary was so energized!! It was really loud, too, because there were the boys on percussion (the smallest one with the cymbals was doing the Robot up front while playing!!

) plus the percussion that normally accompanies the singers, plus the normal team, plus all of the people in the congregation singing really loudly. It was pretty awesome.

After church, Jarrod and I went out for coffee, and followed my parents and sister home so we could hitch a ride up the hill. The roads weren't that great this morning or coming home from church, so it was good that we could get a ride, because the hill would've been unmanageable in two-wheel drive. We had lunch there, and then went sledding again!! It was a lot of fun, and I felt like a kid again, but not for as long. There is this one part of the hill, right near the bottom, where there is a ditch, so it makes a U-shaped dip in the snow... Jarrod flew a foot into the air and managed, surprisingly, to land on his sled after that.

I flew over it and flew off my sled and landed on my hip... I think I'm going to have a bruise. It was a hard landing... but oh well!! It all comes with the fun of sledding. Jarrod told me that I look really scared when I'm coming downhill, but I find that bunching all of my muscles up in the scared type pose makes my sled go faster and me not fly off it/roll downhill/flip head-over-heels. It's really weird.

And then we came home, after I changed into dry clothes. I get really soaked out there, especially today because the snow was a little "clingier" than usual. So here I am, here we are, in the den, on the computers.

I do feel bad about the hoof-trimming though.

lmarie23 · Dec 22, 2008

i don't know what was my favorite in the talent show, i liked them all in different ways. probably either the fashion design or the modern video art. i was so so so nervous about playing and singing. i was shaking a lot while i was performing but they said they didn't notice. and someone tried to turn my pages but he got confused and laughed at himself, so then i was trying not to laugh while i was singing, haha. everyone clapped, and my friend E said "it was beautiful." which was nice but she's my friend so she's supposed to say that. but then someone stopped me to tell me on the way out, "you have a lovely voice." so i think that at least was a genuine compliment, that felt nice.

sounds like you had a nice day. i had a nice day too but now i'm getting kind of depressed for some reason. and i'm not looking forward to fixing my bed, it collapsed again this morning when i tried to get out of it.

silly bed from my Grandma that has these slats that keep falling out! my dad duct taped it but apparently that wasn't enough. i'm not sure how i'm going to assemble it, ugg.

i just wrote a poem, just to try to organize my thoughts, i don't think it's very poetic. i'll post it now. talk to you all later.

Lynne

Soulwings · Dec 22, 2008

Laura, yes, thank you for your posts. :hug:

I appreciate the wisdom that you offer up, when you do. I was right in thinking that I had gotten what you meant... thank you for clarifying. :hug:

I agree.

Sounds like you had a busy day, what, I guess two days ago now. Have you gotten a chance to sit down and read/relax at all?

...

Lynne, how's your day going so far? what are your plans for the day? and the rest of the week?

That sucks about your bed.

Is there any way that you can get a new one? or just use the mattress to sleep on the floor?

Take care of yourself, love. It's hard to while depressed, but please try. :hug:

Take some you-time to relax and read or something... write some poems (as I noticed you mentioned - I will meander over to the creative writing and art thread in a moment).

Big :hug:

s. ♥

...

I'm doing okay this morning. Finishing up my first mug of coffee. I first woke up at 5:20 but refused to get up then. Finally, I let myself read in bed for fifteen minutes starting at 5:45am. It really sucks not being able to sleep in, since that calls for a nap later... and I hate naps. Haha. Although it is really nice to snuggle up under my homemade fleece blanket - it's so warm and snuggly!! - and just relax and let time go by. Hehe. Not the best way to spend a day, though, since my T thinks it's depression causing me to not want to do anything, and Jarrod is inclined to agree. I really don't know. I just like lying down and hiding from the world... I guess that's depression speaking, though, huh? *sigh*

Today I have a violin student coming over for lessons... she is my 9 year old student (my other one is her mother, hehe) and is so adorable. I love teaching her - she is developing an ear for the right notes, which is amazing for a kid her age. She's really quiet too, which is a plus, since I hate how some kids (like one of my old students, back in 2003) can be way too hyper to teach. Makes me want to beat my head into the wall. I hate it when that happens.

I'm planning on reading, journaling, and maybe writing some poems for the rest of the day til they come and Jarrod gets back from work. The weather's turned nasty, cold and windy, so I'm not really planning on going anywhere. Oh, and Jarrod and I are going on a date, with my sister and a friend (they aren't a couple, just friends, but it counts as a date for Jarrod and me

), to a pizzeria in town (the one that we go to occasionally, that I've mentioned before). Should be fun, but I need to figure out the details since I've currently no idea. :doh:

Anyway.

s to all. Hope you are all having a splendid day!!

texannurse · Dec 22, 2008

Hi all! I know it's been a long time, and there are some of you i don't know! Eek! Things are rough around here. I go see the Pdoc today. Not looking forward to it.
Hope you all have a good day.
TN

Alive again · Dec 22, 2008

Dear TXNURSE, Saying a prayer for you. Let us know when you can what is up. We just drove from Shreveport, LA to El Paso, TX and then on back up to Oregon. We had a brand new rental mini-van and put over 3000 miles on it.

I awoke with either a migraine or sinus headache. So not much into thinking and responding to posts this am. WE are getting more snow and freezing rain and it looks like this will go on for the rest of the week. I am scheduled to work on Christmas Eve, but honestly praying for no admissions. I also need to call my new applicaiton for work today and let them know I am back in town and ready for an interview if they are interested. Never mind the turn in the cost for the Emergency supply of meds from my husband staying with us and drving us home through this snowstorm that is hitting much of the US and all of the other business that got left behind to finish when I got home. Then there is the last minute shopping run, the I forgot the cream cheese at the grocery store run and the plan to bake at least two kinds of cookies and one kind of fudge stuff. I did get the chex party mix and the present wrapping done yesterday.

My dear hubby has a horrible chest cold and I hope he does not go to work today, but he missed all last weeek and I have not worked so not only is he very behind for staying to help us with the drive home, but we have had not income.

Let's see what is important to me about Christmas season is something to help it feel like Christmas. Right now there is absolutely no decorations and no baking done, the only thing that looks like Christmas aroudn here is the pile of presents I wrapped last night that is where the tree normall would be. We do not even have a nativity set out. Normally I have it out on Dec 1st with the animals in the creche , the sheperds on a hill somewhere in the house, the wise men far away who travel aroudn the room a little bit everyday, and Mary and JOseph traveling as well (though it is hard for them to crawl all the way

!) And the Baby Jesus is wrapped under the tree with a tag that reads to Randy, Laurie, Josh, Beth and the entire world, from God. We won't even go into the 12+ types of cookies, the two kinds of fudge, the other candy and goodies or cakes and quick bread. But I do truly miss the tree/or the manger we put the presents under, and the snowflakes on the ceiling. Though we are getting more snow right now, out the window, so maybe God has taken care of that part. I am trying to focus more on Christ this Christmas, but it still just feels like a huge part of this holiday is gone and it is just another day and ho-hum, if that makes any sense. And I have this terrible feeling that this will be the last year my daughter is home for Christmas for awhile, and who knows aobut my son, just seems a real loss to me.

Whine, whine Laurie. When there is so much to be thankful for.

Thinking of you all here in Snowy Oregon (and here in the vally we only get snow about every 5 years and it is usally gone with in hours to one day, two at the most). Eastern Oregon and Southern Oregon get snow every year. We are very protected in the valley here. Currently we are right where the HIgh and the SRtic low are meeting (and have been for about 24 hours) so we are getting snow, rain, sleet, freezing rain and all such stuff.) The freezing rain started melting off last night in the rain and so we had a lot of trees and limbs come down and a friend and her two kidsa re here sleeping on the floor as we heat with wood and her power went out last night. So my already bursting at the seams 1000 sq ft house coz the kids were home with all their stuff now has three more peopelt o trip over!

My hubby and I do okay with it, but my dtr seems really pput out right now. SIGH!

Soulwings · Dec 22, 2008

Laurie, good to hear from you, as always. It's been awhile since you've updated, due to your trip I know, but also before then, I think you were too busy to really post much. Not that you're not busy now, but hey...

I love long posts from people!! They really give me glimpses into others' lives, and that is a lovely thing. :hug:

Your trip sounds like an Adventure (and an Experience too, hehe), that's for sure. Wow. I hope that finances and things get straightened out soon... :hug:

What fun things happened on the trip? (there had to be a few things...)

Are you going to be able to get a tree? A Christmas without a tree would be a sad thing, especially if you are used to having one. I'm sorry that you aren't all ready for Christmas now... but maybe it's just a reminder that the true meaning of Christmas is not in the tree, not in the gifts, not in the decorations, not even in traditions... but in Jesus Himself?

I'm sorry to hear that this may be your last Christmas all together. Your daughter is going overseas for a semester, right? (I think you mentioned that?) I wish I'd've treasured last Christmas/winter more than I did, because it was my last one living at my parents'... little did I know that I'd be married for Christmas 2008!! (we only made the plans to get married this October in June; the previous plan was to get married on 13 June 2009) So even if things aren't as they've been previous Christmasses, treasure the time that you have together... I know that you know this... just felt like reminding you. :hug:

I hope that the weather evens out soon. It's really cold and windy here today; I've not yet stepped foot outside but Jarrod's told me that it's chilly - and that's by Minnesota standards, where schools don't get closed for windchill up, er, down to -50s 'F. Brrr!! I can't imagine. And I suppose that it's weird for you to have so much snow/ice there, when you don't normally get it.

...

Today has been a very lazy day. I've slept for quite a bit of it, read a lot, journaled some. I'm so tired... Jarrod and my T both think that it's a sign of deepening depression, that I'm sleeping so much lately, but I don't. Well, to be honest, I don't know. I don't feel much more depressed... except at nights. Then things get really bad. So I guess overall, I am getting more depressed? I don't know. I just hope that I manage to keep a handle on reality and all until school starts. Well, past then, too, but especially in the time when I don't have anything to do.

I wrote a few Christmas cards today, and have a package that needs to be sent out. I hope I can get it out before Christmas (although time's getting short now!!) or if not, then before New Year's. The package is for one of my closest friends, who got married this June (the same day I went into the hospital!!) and moved to Rhode Island. She loves bananas, and I love chocolate, and I managed to find some banana chocolate!! So proud of that, hehe. I hope she likes it. I also packed in some little coffees for her, and a pair of penguin socks (because I have this thing with socks as gifts, as I think I've mentioned before

). It should be a cheery thing for her, to get a package from me... at least, I hope so. I miss her heaps. It's sad having friends move away... guess it's all part of growing up, growing older, and changing. But we're still close, and that's a blessing!! Hopefully we will stay close in the years to come. We hung out quite a lot on campus.

I don't know if I should keep my ED support group going on campus this next term. This past semester it didn't happen, just because I got so busy. I'm not sure if I should start it up again... there were only two other people in it other than me (my abovementioned friend, and another girl), so I'm not sure if it would be worth it to have it going on. What do you all think? I think it's a good thing for a campus to have, since it doesn't have any support groups for anything else... but I don't know if I have the time to keep it going. I'd like to, though... argh!! Where did all of my free time go?!

Jarrod should be home soon... shower(s) and then getting ready for the date. I'm looking forward to that...

It should be nice to hang out with my sister and her friend... just be kids again. Hehe.

Ahh, here he is. :hug:

s for all!! ♥

BlessedMommy05 · Dec 22, 2008

Hello good afternoon everyone..

Been a long morning, and finally started cleaning. My BFF stopped by with her Husband and 2 boys while the girls were out getting things done at the solon.. I'm about to head out myself to run some quick errends.. Oy! Just before Christmas to.. Just talked to my nephew on the phone and got a correct address and asked how things were going, and there's alot of things I dont know about my own family.. I heard my one nephew is in prision for 130 yrs, and I had no clue, and sent a card off to my former Bro in law's address to my nephew but oy... My one nephew is in prision for some things and knew that but the other I'm floored..

Anyway I'm doing a little better today, we'll see how the day progresses to know for sure... Now its almost 3pm so I gotta jet and get things done.. I'll check back in later..

Our (very wonderful) coffee shop, just for us!

Bought by His Blood

arizonasunset

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Bought by His Blood

A true original.

Senior Member

Is Thanking God for opening doors!

A daughter of the King of Kings!

arizonasunset

Guest

A true original.

A daughter of the King of Kings!

A daughter of the King of Kings!

Senior Member

Is Thanking God for opening doors!

A true original.

Senior Member

A true original.

Senior Member

A daughter of the King of Kings!

A true original.

Is Thanking God for opening doors!

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