Forgiveness and Dislike

Just remember the father who gave the early inheritance to his son, and then the son left for a foreign land. The son squandered his wealth, and was on the verge of starving. He went home to see his father and beg for forgiveness. He was going to ask his father to hire him as a servant so that he would at least have something to wear and eat.

The father forgave his son, even though the son was wrong.


If you have a hard time forgiving, just ask God to help you. Give your burdens to the Lord. It's the Lord's problem, not yours. This is difficult, because we don't want to pass our problems on to God and burden Him, but He is tireless and wants us to pass our burdens to Him. You can literally say, "it's not my problem. It's God's problem."

And because you believe in Christ, He will take your burden and deal with it.

It isn't your problem. It's His. He want's to take your burden. He's done a lot more than that. He suffered greatly and died for us. He is a miracle.

HopingforJesus,
I understand perfectly your anger.
As someone who had an excessive bitterness toward my abusive father, I can honestly say that alone you will never come to term of forgiveness.
This kind of strong hatred can only be washed away with help of God.

Perhaps, remember the love of Christ in you when the first time He said that He had forgiven you of all the sins you commit past, present, and future.

One thing that finally clicked was when God told me that i needed to forgive myself in order to forgive my dad.
Don't give yourself a disservice by withholding the past.
Do it for yourself and tell yourself you deserve better than a life filled with hatred and resentment.

Slowly but surely then God will help you in this area.
I have forgiven my dad completely; but, honestly, for me, I forgive him step by step as God take over the broken father image in my heart and turn it into something new and wonderful.

I realized that I have a father ever since I was born.
God is my father... and He is all I need.
I love Him so much and I love my worldly father as well.

I hope that makes sense and help you in a way.

I was a victim of child abuse, and resented many people as a result (the one who abused me, along with those who I saw as failures to rescue me).

It took so much effort to get rid of the anger, and nothing worked.

The night I gave my life to Jesus was the night it all fell away in an instant.


But it's not the same for everyone.


Like I said, go to the Lord in prayer and give all your pain to Him. Ask him to carry it for you. He will. That's what He does for us.

I have been a Christian for a year, and it's been the best year of my life. I have felt less anger and resentment than ever.


There are times when anger creeps up into my heart in regard to others, but I pray to God to take it from me, and that works.


I'll never understand the way the Lord works. I ask for this and that in prayer, with mixed results. BUT, there every single time I ask for the Lord to help my heart and soul, he comes through 100 percent of the time.

He is always there and wants to carry your burden for you.

Forgiveness is your refusal to hold onto negativity towards that person. But trust, respect, real relationship are earned, not granted. Unless the other person contributes positively into a relationship then only so much depth can actually happen. But that is not for you to determine. That's his responsibilty.

John
NZ

Take the load off your shoulders by forgiving anyone for anything. Let the LORD deal with others on their weaknesses.

Remember the LORD'S PRAYER and abide by it so that your sins are also WASHED away with JESUS BLOOD.

Now GOD'S WORD tells us how to handle these problems in the future:


" Matthew 10

16 “Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. "


To be on guard in the future is not the same as not forgiving.


ALWAYS REMEMBER:

JESUS IS RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE AT!!! EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T SEE HIM!!!

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Our Forgiveness of others is apart of an equation that determines our own forgiveness. When we can't let go or look unmercifully collect were we ourselves have been pardoned, what is owed to us, then we sin. As demonstrated in Mt.18:
21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"

22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26"The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.'
30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

In this story the wicked servant was owed a small debt, by the another servant. or he was sinned against by another man who served the same master. If we want to enjoy our masters grace and forgiveness, then we must extent that same grace and forgiveness, To the degree we wish to receive it.

Now if a man outside the Masters service wishes, or asks for forgiveness, then as representatives of God need to show that same forgiveness he has shown us. Does that mean we have to leave ourselves vulnerable or place ourselves in a position where we are to be at the unsaved brothers mercy, especially if he has a history of repeating or committing a certain sin??

You wouldn't put an unsaved child molester in charge of children right? But you can show him forgiveness by speaking to him about the lord and work with him to help him understand Jesus..

There is a difference between responsible forgiveness, and reckless hope.. Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean the person will not sin any more. If you employ the Idea of reckless hope instead of true forgiveness then each time that person sins against you it will make it harder the next time for you to truly forgive him.

Forgiveness isn't a matter of becoming friends, or even liking a person. It's a matter of realizing that whatever they've done to you they do not know what they are doing. Jesus ask the Father to forgive those who were harming Him.

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

People, all people do horrible things to one another simply because they truly do not know what they are doing. When you realize this it becomes much easier to forgive. When you know they do not understand how they hurt you and others through words, and deeds there's nothing you can do but forgive. Then it is just a matter of giving them over to God to deal with.

drich0150 said:

There is a difference between responsible forgiveness, and reckless hope.. Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean the person will not sin any more. If you employ the Idea of reckless hope instead of true forgiveness then each time that person sins against you it will make it harder the next time for you to truly forgive him.

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I think one of the reasons it is hard to forgive someone who has done heinous things to us, abuse, violence, consistent amoral behavior, is because in a way we are using our unforgiveness as a defense mechanism. Forgiving someone means we do not retaliate against them mentally or physically and the anger has been comforting to us, because it is like a wall that protects us from further harm.

This is human nature and I have found that only God can give us the strength to truly forgive and trust him not to let the abuser hurt us anymore. Only then will you get the poison out of your soul and the abuse finally stop. The enemy uses the wounds of abuse as a way to control us and it is necessary that we be delivered from it. However, saying that, it is my considered opinion that you do not trust that person, unless they have given themselves up to Christ (in truth), because they will most likely try to harm you again. It is then you "forgive your brother 70 x 7". Otherwise:If you condone the abusers behavior by treating them as though they are not abusers, this "enables" them to think what they are doing is fine, or they will get away with it, in effect you are going along for the ride. I have found it is a fine walk to show love to these people, (I am talking about members of my own family) and at the same time having a zero tolerance policy for certain behaviors, but it is necessary to do so. "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me."

Dear HopingforJesus. You had much good advice, and it is true. We have more ill-feelings to cope with, than truly good and loving ones, but we live in an imperfect world. Jesus is our Saviour in everything which we have to go trough, or have to suffer. He died that we might live, He is our constant Friend. Just tell the Lord what you have to put up with, ask Him for help. Imagine putting all your dislike and anger at His feet, then thank Him for helping you, and LEAVE whatever you brought to Him, and do NOT take it up again. Ask for Jesus`s Love, Joy and Peace, and you will get it. I say this humbly and with love, HopingforJesus. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

Forgiveness is given, but trust is earned. You dont have to trust someone to forgive them. Forgiveness wont stop the wrong behavior of other, but it will lift your burden.

But when you start to feel anger, hatred or sadness toward another, you should stop and thank God that he forgave us. For we have dont far more wrongs to our Creator than any one human being could do to us. It might help put it more into perspective, plus praying can give you your answers.

HopingForJesus said:

Earlier this morning I had written a response to those who had given me advice thus far. I have taken all this and have let it sink in and it has all helped to make things much clearer. The response I wrote earlier did not go through as my computer froze up on me. Thank you again each and every one of you for the help as this weighs much on me, and I really do need insight from others who believe in Christ. Today we had Thanksgiving at my mom's and it was hard at first even with my brother being a bit rude to my mom and just cursing, and things like that. I prayed to the Lord in the other room that he help me and for forgiveness and to be forgiving even though I started having anger building up along with hurt, and ask that he helped my words to be kind yet appropriate should I need to speak basically. I was able to handle everything very well, even when he made comments about my husband while my husband was at work. The Lord kept the fear and hurt and anger from boiling over. Everything turned out just fine Thing is, I still want more of a relationship with my brother. I have to leave that in God's hands and I still love him.
God bless you all

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AMEN!!!


ALWAYS REMEMBER:

JESUS IS RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE AT!!! EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T SEE HIM!!!

( left click and hold over the above to see your personal message )

HopingForJesus said:

Earlier this morning I had written a response to those who had given me advice thus far. I have taken all this and have let it sink in and it has all helped to make things much clearer. The response I wrote earlier did not go through as my computer froze up on me. Thank you again each and every one of you for the help as this weighs much on me, and I really do need insight from others who believe in Christ. Today we had Thanksgiving at my mom's and it was hard at first even with my brother being a bit rude to my mom and just cursing, and things like that. I prayed to the Lord in the other room that he help me and for forgiveness and to be forgiving even though I started having anger building up along with hurt, and ask that he helped my words to be kind yet appropriate should I need to speak basically. I was able to handle everything very well, even when he made comments about my husband while my husband was at work. The Lord kept the fear and hurt and anger from boiling over. Everything turned out just fine Thing is, I still want more of a relationship with my brother. I have to leave that in God's hands and I still love him.
God bless you all

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God Bless you and Happy Thanksgiving.