I really need some serious advise...the story is long but i really dont no what to do

This man needs to be attended to as soon as possible. You need to find out about having him committed to a mental hospital for evaluation. You also need to have a police report made of this even if you don't intend to have him prosecuted. He needs both voluntary and involuntary counselings.

DO NOT NEGLET TO ACT A.S.A.P.

You will find the mental health folks take this VERY SEROUSLY.


ALWAYS REMEMBER:

JESUS IS RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE AT!!! EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T SEE HIM!!!

( left click and hold over the above to see your personal message )

Ronnie is a time bomb, first thing you need to do is tell everyone involved with him (people at church) and then put as much distance between you and him as possible. Even if that means you have to quit your job, this isn't a school yard disagreement, you don't get to stay, just because you like what you are doing, and that you were here first. It's about your safety, you need to understand that. Ronnie doesn't seem (From what you have written) to have the same value and respect system that most people outside of prison seem to have. I'd also let the police know what's going on just in case you go missing. This is as serious as it gets.. So you need to treat it as such or you will be hurt or worse.

meloniej said:

...So what do i do? i mean i cant quit my job cause i love working at my church and being around my church members plus i need the money, and i have told my dad that he still bugs me when we work, but he cant just fire him because of some regulation or something like that. Please give me some advise and please pray for me cause i really dont know what to do

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This sounds like a very difficult situation.

I would think your dad could fire him for repeated harassment and threats.

You should also take his threats of violence to the police. Here in Australia you would request an "Apprehended Violence Order" -- I'm not sure what your equivalent is.

drich is right -- this is serious.

Sister, this sounds very serious and I agree with the others. Please don't put your safety at risk! Dont just hope for the best, do something about this situation. Tell your dad, tell the police, put as much distance as you possibly can between this man and yourself. Keep yourself safe..and don't do this alone.. I pray that God keeps you safe as well

God bless you

Wow- this is a dilema for sure. My advice- get away from him. I understand that you work at your church and want to stay, but if your dad, as you said is both of yours boss, then you should be able to confide in your dad, surely he understands the situation and can do something about it.

drich0150 said:

first thing you need to do is tell everyone involved with him (people at church)

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I would have to respectfully disagree with this statement. Don't feel the need to verbally process anything, especially among believers in your church. Tell exclusively the people this concerns, if that is only your dad that would be most helpful. Carry this man's burdens as it is our duty to abide in Christ and share one another's load. While it seems he is indeed causing damage (to himself and clearly disrespecting your boundaries), there are obviously bigger problems going on, and quietly lifting his name up through prayer will be the Holy spirit's means of transforming this man's soul. Under your discretion, i think, like in another post, it may be good to suggest he see a mental health professional. Again, you are the best person to carry this out and only involve those that you have to.

Good luck with this, i will be praying for you.

Stay uncontacted by him- (no phone, no day to day interactions... hopefully he will realize he needs to move on with his life and not be so obsessive)

The sword thing is something you can take to the police, not sure about the rest. Where I live nothing of this would probably lead anywhere, except for the threat about the sword. But then again it would be word against word. He can just tell the police that he have never threatened you, so if you don't got any witnesses that can tell that he have had this unusual behavior towards you, it will probably lead nowhere, except making him even more obsessed.

I am sad to say it, but I doubt you will get rid of him. He won't ever listen to what you say. So you will have to remove yourself from him in some way or another.

My ex had a guy like that always bothering her, and the only thing that helped was that she got a new phone number and made it secret. But then she also had me, and her stalker didn't dare to come at the house to bother her.

Also pray about it. God have the ability to do things that we don't know about.

Also keep in mind we have stalking laws now in effect.

You need not worry about his word against yours. Your dad also knows about his actions.

That is why we must make sure we are ANOINTED by GOD. ( SAVED-BORN AGAIN ) Because you know not the day or hour. Enough said!


ALWAYS REMEMBER:

JESUS IS RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE AT!!! EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T SEE HIM!!!

( left click and hold over the above to see your personal message )

has anyone mentioned call the cops on this dude? call the cops ..he has already threatended you, harassed you and intidated you and it appears that he has a mental illness..call the cops and he will be locked up and you will no longer have to worry about this...this isnt about whats the nice polite christian thing to do..this is about how to keep yourself alive...he made a threat and has a weapon..anyone with those two combos are not to be taken lightly!

Make a police report about the threat. Now. Please.

Radagast said:

Make a police report about the threat. Now. Please.

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This thing can escalate and become extremely messy if you did not nip it in the bud.
Ronnie is a very disturbed man.
He needs professional helps.

Go to the police and have a restraining order set on him.

I think we can all agree you've been kind to this guy for wayyyy too long already and he's only going to grow in boldness if you don't solve this.

Go to the police, you have the threats and the witness of your dad. After so many stories of stalkers and such the police do not ignore such things nor do the authorities.

As for your dads word vs ronnies, not so true, theres your word, your dads word, anyone else who knows about the situation also.

I'm sure that if you sat down and explained it to the people who can get him fired, that it would be no problem. In the mean time, don't go anywhere without someone with you and keep your house 100% secure at all times.

Employers have a responsibility, legally, to keep their workplace free from sexual harassment. That is what is going on, and your employer does have the right to fire someone who is harassing other employees.

Your Dad should have a chat with an employment attorney; many will do a free initial consultation.

That your father finds this an acceptable situation is beyond me.

meloniej said:

Thank you for all the prayers...i really really need them.
I had already told my dad about this guy and what was going on, but as far as firing him its his word against Ronnies. So nothing can be done at this point

Right now i really wish that he would actually do something to me to make it where he will get into trouble and leave me alone, i don't know what else there is to do.

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Have you got a mom? if so tell her and maybe she could give dad an attitude adjustment. I have a hard time believing a dad could know about the knife and still keep him on. It may be like the election where GREED prevailed.

Have a police report made. Just maybe this will wake dad up.



ALWAYS REMEMBER:

JESUS IS RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE AT!!! EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T SEE HIM!!!

( left click and hold over the above to see your personal message )

It's really not just your word against his. For instance you mentioned that he started to tell lies to your brother.

Are you still a minor? I was wondering because if you are you can't do some things legally on your own.

If you have turned 18, you can rather force the issue and probably should. You go to a court and get a restraining order. One which says he must stay away from you. Now it will be a temporary order. But they will set a hearing time to see if it should be made longer term.

If you can record a conversation with Ronnie, do so. Also security cameras and recordings could provide very valuable information.

Having a restraining order against him will also force the issue with your dad and work. In any case, you've been telling your dad about this for awhile now and he is more than covered concerning firing Ronnie. He likely is just concerned he could get sued for firing Ronnie. One can sue for anything but that doesn't mean one wins. Generally, to prevail in a lawsuit Ronnie would need to show he was discriminated against in an improper manner. There is no protection for harassment and threatening of other employees nor for that matter family members. Indeed you are actually the one with a winnable action against your employer, you have a hostile work environment, you have complained to your superior and it hasn't been fixed.

Realize this all didn't likely start with you. There were reasons Ronnie was homeless before. Not to play psycologist but he likely has, at the least, a personality disorder, he may have a severe mental disorder as well. Many stalkers have one or both and while we do feel sorry for such people and try to help them, once you become the object of a stalker, you, most of all, cannot help him. Any interaction with him will be a struggle where he tries to control you, whether by telling you how wonderful you are, or giving gifts or, if those don't work, threats, intimidation, and force. Right now, to Ronnie, you are a lot like a drug to an addict, you are his fix, his obsession, you can't help him by being with him. He needs to go through withdrawal to be helped.

You should also talk to the police and tell them what is happening and provide them with information about him like a picture. Tell them about the sword and the threats. You want those in your area if possible to know what is going on and recognize Ronnie so if he is hanging around your house they notice it and put an end to it. I don't know the laws in your state, maybe you can file a complaint, maybe not, in any case talk to the police about the situation. Get them aware of Ronnie.

It is not safe for him to be around you. With normal people it sinks in that there is no relationship between you and they give up. But he doesn't sound normal. Even things that make it quite obvious will likely not be accepted by him. He might continue to stalk you. He might even attempt to kidnap or harm you or those around you such as your brother, father, or anyone who he thinks threatens his fantasy world. Anyone you date or he thinks you are possibly going to date could be in danger.

It's a scary thing because it's not rational at all. You can't afford to deal with him as if he is a rational human being because it's quite probable he's not.

You should take safety precautions. Locking the house up well. Never being alone. Having a phone handy and so on. There is really no way to predict exactly what will happen. But stalkers can and do a lot of things to retain their control and fantasy. I would suggest reading a bit about stalking. http://www.ncvc.org/SRC/main.aspx?dbID=DB_Questions_and_Answers109 Is a good resource. Chances are, as you read through, you will recognize things.

You need to have a really serious talk to your dad. He is worrying he might get in trouble for firing Ronnie. Thing is, Ronnie will surely sound intimidating to being fired as well. It's all a part of his stalking, he is going to want to stay near you at all costs. Your father needs to see the big picture that his failure to act is putting you at risk.

Marv

Restraining order immediately and never look back.