Bipolar Creative Writing and art

Yes, taking that line out would work, I think. It flows pretty well without it as well. And you're welcome for the feedback - it's appreciated on my end as well.

I think that a lot of your poems have potential. I especially like the ones portraying people from work - they seem so, well, honest. And real. I like things that seem real, since right now, not a lot feels that way.

I think I'm going to go write about that...

I think you captured the demand of suicidal thoughts very well, in that poem, although it's a bit... well, graphic. Heh. But oh so true.

I wrote a poem last night about how I felt, but it was mostly just repeating what I've written on here, in a slightly different form. I'll get it in a bit.

Gerry, your poem is good though I admit i was a bit taken aback. very realistic and graphic.

April, looking forward to reading your poem.

here's my recent artwork (both are still works in progress):

Soulwings said:

I think you captured the demand of suicidal thoughts very well, in that poem, although it's a bit... well, graphic. Heh. But oh so true.

I wrote a poem last night about how I felt, but it was mostly just repeating what I've written on here, in a slightly different form. I'll get it in a bit.

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lmarie23 said:

Gerry, your poem is good though I admit i was a bit taken aback. very realistic and graphic.

April, looking forward to reading your poem.

here's my recent artwork (both are still works in progress):

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Thanks!

I know I'm being graphic, that was how it went for me when I went manic though. Everything I was told/screamed to do, I had to live as well, as it was kind of happening to me at the time. In my rage all happened word for word, I didn't quite know how to relate this effectively, this format came close, but maybe not as close as death did itself.

Excellent work Lynne, you truly are an artist. How long did it take you to do the oil painting? Such vibrant colours all blending together in one whole! Very stylish indeed.

That is something I can't do, my attempts would just be smears of paint in ad-hock style - I'm a bit like Picasso' - (hahaha) - I suppose.

Great work

Thank you Gerry. My painting actually didn't take that long, I fear I was kind of rushing through it at the end. Maybe 5 hours so far? It's actually acrylic, not oil. I just need to hurry because I have all these Christmas presents I want to make. I will have my work cut out for me this month!

Well, I'm glad you like it. I think I need to work on the butterfly more, to make it stand out a little better. But I think it's nearing completion, I'm pretty happy with the flowers (zinnias) and their leaves.

Lynne

Yes, the butterfly needs a little more work to make it stand out - I missed it the first time I looked at the picture. You truly are gifted - don't let anyone tell you otherwise!! Keep creating, Lynne - you are an artist of the truest sort.

Who is the portrait of?

...

I did write that poem but I don't have it with me (am at uni). Suppose I should type it up tonight though. It isn't that great of a poem, just a really rough draft. Hard to think when I am at the point where I am right now.

Thanks April,

I will work on making the butterfly stand out, but right now I am on to working on my Christmas presents. I've been working on the drawing of my sister and I. So far I have her drawn mostly (in pen using pointilism (little dots)). It looks exactly like her! I'm very proud. Next I have to draw myself next to her, hopefully I don't mess it up because right now I am very pleased with myself. And I started the acrylic painting for my friend of her dog. I painted the grass in the background. Trying to decide how to make the grass look more grasslike, haha, grass has always been a struggle for me to paint. I need to learn some grass-painting technique. <sigh>

Looking forward to reading your poem...

Gerry, don't have time to read your poem right now but I will next time I get online

Lynne

Hello everyone!

I've been away from this thread for a while.

lmarie23, I love those flowers. They look like zinnias.

I just wanted to let you all know that I started a new project. I call it the 30 Girl project. It's an effort in discipline I have committed to 'creating' a girl a day for a month or more. No matter what my mood is or how tired I am, I have to do a girl a day. I blog the results.

So far it's going pretty well and I'm happy, I see my style evolving a bit, things are different. I'm pleased with the results
It'll be interesting when or if I feel mildly episodic, to see the results.

So...I wanted to invite you to check it out, comments are most definitely welcome!

http://briannamccarthy.blogspot.com

Hi all! I have an "assignment" from my T to write 30 minutes a day, just write. I used to journal a ton and it was so helpful, but now, the words just won't come. I just feel empty and unable to let it out on paper - problem is I am not too good at letting it out any other way either. I am rather intimidated by this because I have no idea where to even begin writing. I used to just put the pen to paper and write like mad. But now, nothing comes out - except just the words, "sad", "angry", "sick of life", etc. But no real meaning to any of it.
Any advice??

texannurse said:

Hi all! I have an "assignment" from my T to write 30 minutes a day, just write. I used to journal a ton and it was so helpful, but now, the words just won't come. I just feel empty and unable to let it out on paper - problem is I am not too good at letting it out any other way either. I am rather intimidated by this because I have no idea where to even begin writing. I used to just put the pen to paper and write like mad. But now, nothing comes out - except just the words, "sad", "angry", "sick of life", etc. But no real meaning to any of it.
Any advice??

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Yeah I know what you mean when we are depressed few words come.


The best is to write what you feel - drag it out descriptive word after descriptive word.

(Something like this.)


I'm angry, I'm all alone, I'm upset, I'm unable - and as the words, feelings, times come note them down.. even just a string of words will do!

- like -

I'm empty of words, I'm frustrated - I hope to get better, I'm not loving at the moment, I hate my life, I love God, I listen to lies a lot when I'm down, I'm a living paradox, I feel so dark, I want to die, God's truth makes me feel bad, I want to get out of my life of lies and pain, and so on....

I call such letters, 'broken hearts revealing', as we can only hear the words partially and the tune often drags us down. Yet such letters with only few words say heaps about you - where you are and how you are feeling!

What does it matter if you can only find 10 descriptive words in 1/2 hour you have still defined your reality... go on like this until you can express your feeling world - your current reality - properly - and begin to understand what is all happening within when you are depressed or when you are not.

This is the best beginning to understand yourself and begin to fight back against depressive times.

(write those things you feel you can share to us, sharing your reality helps a lot in better understanding God's loving truth, for you see it at work in others as well.)




Gerry

HINT

Don't just share your reality with yourself and your Therapist, share everything past our Heavenly Father and Brother through the loving truth of the bible.

(Like)

I'm feeling unloved at the moment!

Then think about what the bible says - God loves me!

Yet you don't experience that, so write down - I hold onto lies - I experience lying badness all the time - I eat lies continually - is that why my depression is so bad? (or is that why Satan is accusing you (perhaps even now) for listening to bad in your heart so much, and so blaming you for being depressed, making you feel even worse? PLEASE don't eat such unloving feelings or heed lying tongue, reject such food or voice inside your conscious, and learn to listen to and have faith in God's Loving Truth instead - for you can learn to stay free even when feeling deeply depressed!)

Note how lies drag you down and God's truth - His GOOD things, such as joy, love, kindness, courage build you up and lift your depressive mood. Keep doing that until you see land and you can swim to shore.

So let go of all bad realities (those sharks) - also those realities attacking your faith in God - give them to God in prayer - and ask for His good in return - He will sow the seeds of His goodness in you at such times. (Galatians 4 : 22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control.. )

Staying in the truth of His love is all you have to do to be able to eat from His glorious victory over darkness - that which you are fighting.

Yet please remember seeds have to grow before you have a lot to eat. So never eat all God's goodness in one go, but sow some seeds into the hard ground soil of your being - (dig up your dirt and turn it over - rake the clumps out of it and...hoopla the soil is ready for planting. A good crying session after seeding helps the germination of the seeds inside your being.

In other words you push the seeds of God's loving truth into the soil of your soul and grief your sin. After this event let trust and hope in God's LOVING TRUTH - the sunshine - grow your seeds into fruit bearing plants - keep believing the truth - even if it doesn't feed you yet or it rains sometimes - so in The End you have a food supply after a few months and barnyards full after a few years! Indeed the Bible calls all of us to become farmers - very good advise!

This is a Scriptural Way to survive a spiritual famine as depression certainly is a spiritual famine!

John 6

35Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. 36But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. 37All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. 38For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. 39And this is the will of him who sent me, that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. 40For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."

Fin
No more.
The end hath come,
Trodden wasteland of lost souls
And broken homes

Lying in darkness
&#8216;Tis cold as stone
Black as midnight
It is my heart
Lying in my still cold and broken soul.

Nothing left.
Giving up has come
The end of all endings
Will be the last one

When things have nothing in them
Anhedonia fills the void
Misperceived perceptions
That something is still real.
(It&#8217;s all a deception)

Echoes of ghosts long past
Bounding off the walls of this empty core
Rotten flesh of love and caring
Dissolved tears of souls despair
Leaves a drop to nothingness,
Nothing not even a care.

The end hath come,
It is fast approaching now,
The darkness surrounds the darkness within
Blacking out what is, what was, what will never be
And the tragedy of what has been.



The pain brought forth by the investments of the heart is one undescribable by any conceivable dialect, in any vernacular, in any culture. It hath no basis nor end, though the beginning is trust, misguided found to be at the cessation of all.




I wrote that a couple years ago.

OddBeani said:

The pain brought forth by the investments of the heart is one undescribable by any conceivable dialect, in any vernacular, in any culture. It hath no basis nor end, though the beginning is trust, misguided found to be at the cessation of all.

I wrote that a couple years ago.

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Hi Sis,

Very captivating I have heard complains like this for years within my heart as well. However misery, however intelligent it might sound at times, lies to our heart and mind outside of Christ's victory. Did you experience that as well?

For one day I realised that our Heavenly Father knows all about the pain of the heart. Oh how He must hurt as we, His children, go through Hell, not heeding Him in our misery but turning away, even blaming Him for it all. And so perish in the lies we believe about ourselves others and God. All because we, His beloved children, don't heed His loving truth within but have been swallowed up by the night of cruelties instead.

For how would you feel if you embrace your hurting child and comfort with Words of love but the child wouldn't heed you and listen to his or her misery instead, until s/he dies in agony? Boy must that hurt bad! (Please see the Cross and understand how we scorn and kill God's loving truth (even in our hearts) when we don't heed Him/the truth of love.)

Yet so it is for our Heavenly Father when we hurt bad and we don't heed Him and His healing voice of comfort, but our pain instead - sometimes idolising the lies even - letting darkness conquer our life away - (how guilty I am of having done this?)

A response from life against those heeding depression.

Wow, lots of posts. Hadn't realized that when I hadn't posted for awhile.

...

Brianna, that is a challenge!! I hope that it goes well for you. I really like "Undercover." Your drawing is amazing... such talent!! How long does it take for you to create??

...

Tn, Gerry's advice is good. See what you can draw out of yourself... it doesn't have to be full and complete sentences... try doing a freewrite - images of what you feel like, pictures in your head of what you feel your life is like now, words that describe how you feel and what you are thinking. I don't have my freewrite notebook :-( or else I would show an example to you. There should be some quite a few pages back, or rather, near the beginning of the thread, that wonderwoman and I did. I'm glad that your T suggested that. It's always good to get out feelings and thoughts, even if you don't know how to do it at first.

...

Hallee, I like it. Very dark, but the images you use (e.g., "trodden wasteland of lost souls") are very descriptive and perfect for the tone that you are trying to get across (or so I think). That was written a few years ago? I remember you mentioning that you don't write poetry anymore - why not? If you answered that before, I can't remember the answer.

...

Gerry, good response. I like that poem - very, very true, and a plea that should not go unheard.

Hi everyone.

Brianna, I like your project. I think my favorite drawing on there is "Miss Lady." I really like that one.

I thought I would post my recent art creations (mostly works in progress) so you could see what I'm up to and maybe make suggestions. The first one is a painting of my friend's dog. Her dog has a brain disorder so I thought I would surprise her with a painting of her dog for Christmas, she has been really sad about her dog's health declining. That one is maybe done. The photo I'm working from is above.

The second one is a painting I'm currently working on of a sea turtle, as a wedding present to my friends. They asked me to paint it for them and I'm concerned that I don't have the turtle big enough, maybe I should paint it over? In real life the sand is much more interesting-looking, it just didn't photograph well. I mixed sand in with the acrylic paint to give it texture and i have all different shades in there. I'm not sure.

The third one is a drawing of my sister and me. don't we look alike? i just need to finish my hair and our clothes.

the last one is a drawing of my best friend and me - i need to finish my hair again.

I really, really like the one of the dog. That is very good!! So are the others, but the dog is my favorite. You and your sister do look alike - and the picture of you and Kristin is adorable. The sea turtle is a little small, but I think it should be okay... up to you, though.

...

I should go write something or do something useful. Instead I'm waiting for a phone call and trying to get up the energy to do some homework that's due tomorrow (that I incidentally forgot about til now...).

lmarie23 said:

Hi everyone.

Brianna, I like your project. I think my favorite drawing on there is "Miss Lady." I really like that one.

I thought I would post my recent art creations (mostly works in progress) so you could see what I'm up to and maybe make suggestions. The first one is a painting of my friend's dog. Her dog has a brain disorder so I thought I would surprise her with a painting of her dog for Christmas, she has been really sad about her dog's health declining. That one is maybe done. The photo I'm working from is above.

The second one is a painting I'm currently working on of a sea turtle, as a wedding present to my friends. They asked me to paint it for them and I'm concerned that I don't have the turtle big enough, maybe I should paint it over? In real life the sand is much more interesting-looking, it just didn't photograph well. I mixed sand in with the acrylic paint to give it texture and i have all different shades in there. I'm not sure.

The third one is a drawing of my sister and me. don't we look alike? i just need to finish my hair and our clothes.

the last one is a drawing of my best friend and me - i need to finish my hair again.

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What wonderful art Lynne! I love the pictures of you and friend and/or sister?

The best part is the way you captivate the joy in your faces - beautiful it stunned me instantly how much goodness streams from those eyes, so much better than the pain you are often going through - doesn't it give you hope to know that our Heavenly Father will capture your joy, and give you eternal being in that? Your picture speaks of such hope in joy! Your faces are full of it!

thank you for your compliments, guys. it's very encouraging. i've been working on the turtle one some more and i'm liking it better, plus my best friend gave me some feedback on it tonight. the drawings i've been working on at work, but it has gotten very confusing. this is the problem: I work with these two girls, Kristin and Kristine. I am making a drawing for each of them for Christmas. So when Kristin's off I work on her drawing, and when Kristine is off I work on her drawing, and when I work with both of them, then I work on the drawing of my sister or my Chinese friend. but it just gets so confusing. i have all of the drawings in the same sketchpad and i'm so afraid one of them will see their drawing by mistake.

Gerry, I love how you say that I captured the joy... I'm not sure how I accomplished that, but I do see it, you're right. i will post pictures of my other two drawings once they are farther along, right now they aren't as far along.

i am so happy right now because i am on vacation through wednesday! that's 6 whole days in a row off work! and from saturday-tuesday i will be visiting my relatives in new york state! yippee!

Lynne