I thought I was getting better

Grief is cyclical, isn't it? I'm already getting comments about how I shouldn't be crying anymore, but rejoicing that my dh is with Jesus and no longer sick. Not very many, and it's good to rejoice in that and look at the positive......but I'm still sad.
I have a song in my head about that. I just found it; it's by Air Supply; Just When I Thought I Was Over You. Maybe I should start singing it when people may say such things.
Here I am playing with those memories again
And just when I thought time had set me free
Those thoughts of you keep taunting me

Holding you, a feeling I never outgrew
Though each and every part of me has tried
Only you can fill that space inside

So there's no sense pretending
My heart it's not mending

CHORUS
Just when I thought I was over you
And just when I thought I could stand on my own
Oh baby those memories come crashing through
And I just can't go on without you

On my own I've tried to make the best of it alone
I've done everything I can to ease the pain
But only you can stop the rain

I just can't live without you
I miss everything about you

CHORUS

Lots of hugs to you, sister.

at least we know is is 'normal'!
I am having trouble looking at photos of when he was well. I just look and remember his touch, his smell, his lovely big hands, his voice. its so surreal. Almost like he's going to walk back into my life. I know I will see him in heaven but somehow that isnt comforting me. In heaven we will not be the same, we will not be married. i know when i;m there the joy will out weigh all of that but I'm not there, I'm HERE! alone and in between my new, unasked for life!!
(Gee, I sound rather pitiful dont I.)
I think I've moved on then I just want everything to stop. I told Gid this morning that this ias just so hard and it isnt right that people should go through this much pain. Pointless arguement as I know all the answers but I felt like being a spoilt brat this morning.
ladies....we KNOW he has a plan and a purpose for us so hold on.. thats what I am doing.
take care and I pray God gives you something really special from him today!!

Well, I went out! I cut my hair off then had a colour put in it completely different to the norm. (no, not blonde!) It felt bad but really good to spend money on myself.
I do hope this 'missing' phase goes soon. it just feel like torment as it does me absolutely NO good!
I'll volunteer at church tomorrow. its my job to ring the lonely people and see how they're doing. They picked me because I am always so happy! duh!!
I shall keep smiling because above all my saviour is still here, I am still here and there is plenty of people out there who dont know Him and need to hear there is hope in these circumstances.
Love you ladies and I pray Jesus is close to you. He promised to defend us and to look after us.

Feel a hug. Hang in there!

I can completely identify with all of this. It's only been three months, but I really just feel like I'm not going to make it. Certain people are already implying that I should be feeling better and moving on, but how is that even possible??? I miss him so much. If it weren't for my kids, I feel like I'd just want to go to sleep and never wake up.

I will be praying for you, SadHeart, and all of the others here. God Bless.

As I said in another thread, I don't think we will ever get over it. Hopefully we will feel better some time, but I think we will go on and get used to a new kind of life. No one can say how long it will take before we can speak their name without tears. And no one should. It's like we have lost our right arm. They were a part of us. You don't get over that in a few months. It will take as long as it takes. I think people that think you should get over your grieving are just wanting you to feel better. They are not trying to be mean, they truly just want you to be happy again.