Those were some of the most helpful responses I've had to a question since I started reading, and then posting on this site, (not pastorjims of course), but Lukaris, Emmy, and OldChurchGuy. Thank you.
Lukaris and Emmy, my confusion about the passage came from being told at work (by a christian, sorry), that the verse reffered to people like me, and that I could expect extra attension from Jesus on judgement day. Thanks again for clearing up my misunderstanding. Emmy, it feels like my head and my heart have split, my heart still belongs with God (or at least thats what it feels like), but my mind has become skeptical, to say the least. Like I said earlier in this thread, I was more than happy being a christian, these thoughts blind sided me, and have not subsided so I must deal with them. This may not have been the best place to ask for answers, but I was getting desperate. It actually took me months just to start posting, its funny, in real life, I'm not shy at all.
OldChurchGuy, it never really accured to me, (I dont recall anyway), that I could view the bible as anything other than a literal translation of history and Gods point by point instructions for us. That, and other things you said really got me thinking along lines that hadn't accured to me (seems to be a theme there), I would like to talk further with you about what you said, but perhaps we can do it as a private message (what ever that is
), as you seemed to show a knack for prophesy with the suggestion earlier. I'm going out, but if when you get back on line, you could post a how to, I'll drop you a (post?), when we get back home. Thank you again.
PastorJim, I can no more make you believe that I was an actual christian, than you could make me believe your not a jackass. I'm sorry I can't articulate the all incompassing love I had for Christ, and the certianity I had in His love for me to suit your pious standards, but I guess many must fall short of your all encompassing knowledge of Gods path for the rest of us. What if I had been a weaker person, tetering on the edge of walking out on Jesus for good, do you think your condesending tone, and infference to me being just a liar out to get your goat would have helped me rekindle my sputtering faith? Hardly....Oooops, look like you better get back to me quick OCG as I seem to be losing what christian values I have left.
Your right Stromrider, that is all too familiar a retort I get from some christians, oddly not the christians I've know in the past, or ones that have taken the time to get to know me now.