Selfishness & pregnancy

OrangeHope

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Perhaps he feels like he needs to do whatever he does now before the baby comes and he won't be able to do that same thing later? not trying to make excuses for him but maybe like bliz asked if you can describe what selfish things he has been doing.
 
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Neenie1

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Could you please describe some of the behavior you are calling selfish.


I agree. It's hard to comment when I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to be commenting about.


What I will say though is that in the last days of my pregnancies (I've had 2) I have felt so focused on the baby/birth/house etc. that anything that didn't revolve around those 3 things just wasn't thought about, and anyone who mentioned anything relating to something else I listened to but looking back I am sure it went over my head because that' wasn't where I was focused. Hope that helps some.
 
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llghoney

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Well, let's see just today he went fishing and called to see if I was going to church * I said yes & he asked if I wanted him to go & I told him that was his choice he has to live with & he is a grown man. So I went by myself. I wouldn't even think of doing that kinda thing. Another example: Staying over at a supposedly future business partners house til 3 a.m. and kinda tipsy. It's just emotionally draining is all & I mean I'm already emotional with thinking of labor. Also, I haven't made everything about the baby I've tried to get us to do things but he has other plans like fishing or work.
 
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Leanna

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I usually just make my wishes clear..... I would have told him that I would like him to go to church with me, or not if I didn't care. We don't stay out late without each other so that one doesn't happen.

I don't notice anything particularly different with my husband near the end of pregnancy. I always wish he would pamper me a lot when I am pregnant, but he doesn't really do that either. He's not a big pamperer I guess.
 
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TCat

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Please keep in mind that your hormones are really raging as you are gearing up to deliver. I remember being especially sensitive to a miriad of things that normally would not have bothered me in the last few days before D-Day. I am not saying that DH is behaving one way or another but to try to put into perspective what is real and what is body chemistry.
 
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llghoney

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Thing is you set him up to disappoint you. He asked you if you wanted him to go with you. You didn't say Yes which is what you wanted. Would he have still fished if he knew you really wanted him to go?

He would have came home. My thing is though he went Saturday and I told him then I wanted to go to church so he said he would get up really early Sun & go fishing and call me to see if I was going. When he called I said yes & he asked if I wanted him to go. Of course, why wouldn't I want him to go is my thing. We've been together long enouigh he knows that. Oh, well it's over with now but hopefully these last 2 and 1/2 weeks go smoother!
 
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heart of peace

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llghoney, I totally feel you girl! Sometimes I wish my hubby would just meet my needs (or wants perhaps...lol) without me having to request it from him or be direct, etc. We've been together long enough and I have expressed my opinion pleny times for him to know where I stand on certain issues. Sometimes I'd like for him to say (if I was in your situations) "Babe, I know how hard growing our baby is and you are so close to our baby's birthday, I don't want you going to church alone. Wait for me so I can go with you, I'd like to be there to help you either physically or emotionally." hehe

Here are some e-hugs from me :hug: Men are not nearly as perceptive as women ;)
 
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Neenie1

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You are right MsDahl.

I have discovered that if I want something from my husband I need to TELL him. He won't "read the signs" lol. He needs to be told and asked.

Also I have discovered that with my dh, if I want him to help around the house I need to tell him and say something like "please do this tonight" otherwise it won't get done until it's too late and I end up doing it myself.
 
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Birbitt

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He would have came home. My thing is though he went Saturday and I told him then I wanted to go to church so he said he would get up really early Sun & go fishing and call me to see if I was going. When he called I said yes & he asked if I wanted him to go. Of course, why wouldn't I want him to go is my thing. We've been together long enouigh he knows that. Oh, well it's over with now but hopefully these last 2 and 1/2 weeks go smoother!

I have learned in my 6 years of marriage that what ever I say is exactly what my hubby believes....So if he asks me if I want him to go to church with me and I say It doesn't matter then he believes that if I don't tell him YES I want you to go with me then he believes what I say and makes his decision on that. I never expect him to "know" anything if he asks I give him an honest answer. Even after 6 years of marriage he doesn't understand when I give him a vague answer versus just telling him what I want. But that may just be my hubby.
 
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Neenie1

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I have learned in my 6 years of marriage that what ever I say is exactly what my hubby believes....So if he asks me if I want him to go to church with me and I say It doesn't matter then he believes that if I don't tell him YES I want you to go with me then he believes what I say and makes his decision on that. I never expect him to "know" anything if he asks I give him an honest answer. Even after 6 years of marriage he doesn't understand when I give him a vague answer versus just telling him what I want. But that may just be my hubby.


No it's mine too.
 
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lin1235

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Honestly, I think in the last weeks of pregnancy I get really selfish. I expected dh to drop everything at my request, to put my needs before his all the time. I felt sorry for myself with the pregnancy getting harder, and expected him to feel sorry for me too. I'm not saying that's what the OP is doing, but I know just for me, if I'm being selfish and dh doesn't do what I want, I perceive him as being selfish.
 
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