Mister Neutron

Tomk80

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A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are watching a house. 2 people walk in, 3 walk out. The physicist says: "that's a measurement error". The biologist says: "No, they've reproduced. The mathematician says: "You're both wrong. If someone walks into the house now, the house will be empty again.
 
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Tammisto

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A guy goes to the doctor. Walks into the doctors office when his turn comes and closes the door. Then he removes his trousers and pants and asks the doctor to look at his genitals. "Why? Whats wrong?" asks the doctor to which the man replies "nothing, just look how pretty it is."
 
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Psudopod

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A farmer has a sick chicken. He calls a vet, who can do nothing. The vet calls in a chemist, who examins the chicken, but can do nothing for it. The chemist calls in a physist, who does some measurments, make some calculations and finally announces.

"I know what is wrong with your chicken. Not only that, but I have come up with a solution. There's one problem though - the solution only works for a sperical chicken in a vacuum."
 
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Tomk80

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A guy goes to the doctor. The doctor says: "That's been a long time ago since I last saw you." The guy answers: "Yeah, I've been sick a lot."

It's yellow and if you get it in your eye, you'll die instantly.
trein.jpg
 
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ChordatesLegacy

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LADIES & GENTLEMAN !!!!
IT'S THE BATTLE OF THE MILLENIUM !!!!
CREATION VS. EVOLUTION!!!

This is going to be a caged, no holds barred match, to the death!!!!

In one corner we have EVOLUTION, who brings with it an assortment of
weapons, including : records, fossils, actual proof, and even a bit
of faith & belief.

In the other corner we have CREATION, who brings---wait a minute,
CREATION is pulling something from out of a sack, it's a....it's a....
It's a book ?!? CREATION has brought a book to use in battle. And yes
a bit of faith & belief.

It's unbelievable the way they are going at each other folks ! It's
a battle royal. Who will win this grudge match? Who will suffer from
their loss? We may never know. Let's watch & see, and pray ours is
the victorious one, which ever that may be.
 
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AintNoMonkey

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The church in a small town has just built a new bell tower onto their cathedral. They post a 'help wanted' ad around town, looking for somebody to ring the bell on the hour, and to call people in on Sundays. A few weeks go by, and no luck. All the applicants are too weak to ring the exceptionally large bell.

One evening, Father Greg hears a knock on his door. He opens it to find a man with no arms standing there. The man says, "Father, I'd like to be your bell ringer."
"But my son, you've got no arms! How could you possibly ring a bell?"
The young man says "Let me show you."
So Father and the young man climb up to the bell tower. The young man backs up into a corner, takes a running start, and smashes his upper body into the bell.

BOOOOONG! The most beautiful sound you've ever heard resonates from the bell. Father Greg is shocked! He immediately gives the job to the young man.

In the next few weeks, every time the bell rings, the townspeople look up and exclaim how beautiful the sound is. Church attendance doubles.

One Sunday, the worst storm of the year rolls in. The young man is ringing the bell as usual, calling in the masses to pray. But the floor becomes wet from the rain. He stands back, runs towards the bell, and slips, and flying out the window. Dashed upon the street, the young man is dead. Father Greg comes runnning out, and kneels next to the body. One of the townspeople asks "Father Greg, who is this man?"

Father Greg turns and says "I don't know, but his face sure rings a bell."
 
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