I guess I have a hard time accepting infallibility...and Orthodoxy is pretty much my last hope.
I'd refer to my last post - I'd say that's the best answer you're going to get. We have a lack of consensus on this issue because the CF's have a lack of consensus.
One thing Vanshan is absolutely right on is the Orthodox mistrust of what we, the individuals, want. Dying to ourselves is one of the key concepts of Orthodoxy, and this means that "When in doubt, throw it out" is the wise thing for a Christian to do. Believe me, I have my own pet controversial desire that I have to voluntarily reject for the sake of charity, so while not passing around a Church teaching on it, I let go of it. Nearly every day.
except rape is a crime. and what do you mean by the more Christian sense? i don't have to have sex with my husband just because he wants to.
I think what OTW is trying to say is that when two spouses are really trying to love each other in a Christian way, then the "I want's" need to be submerged in favor of what the other needs. I may not particularly want to engage in those relations tonight, but what if I don't, and she (he) spends the next day being attacked by lust and maybe looking at/thinking about others. Temptations to inappropriate contentography, masturbation, or flirting become stronger for weaker folk. By my "I want" I make her spiritual battles more difficult - and this goes for everything, not just what we call "sex" ( a real misnomer). The point is, in the Faith we are, as married people, learning to sacrifice ourselves to our mate. A red flag for any Christian is saying "I want".
Oh, and Christianity was a crime at one time, too. Not to equate Christianity to rape (which, for married people, still needs careful definition before being indiscriminately applied), but to point out that the government we live under is not the ultimate authority for us, but rather the Church.
also, i do have my own thoughts on the original topic, but i've never been married or pregnant so i don't know if what i say would matter.
I think you, as a human being subject to death, ought to be able to talk about these issues. It is wise, though, to learn from those who do have experience, and one of our biggest human weaknesses is being unable/unwilling to admit that what we think may really be wrong - that someone else might really know better and that we still have something to learn. "Sola Scriptura" is based on the individualist "
I am the best determiner of what this and that means." Being able to realize and say, "Wow - I know so little...what does the Church teach about this?" is not easy. The corollary of learning from people older and wiser than us - valuing/respecting age and experience - follows from that. We lose sight of the fact that things our ancestors learned hundreds of years ago are things we have to learn all over again, and that someone 20 years older than me may really have, objectively, a sheer quantity of experience that makes them worth listening to, and if what they say fits, learning from. Without reference to Tradition and experience, we are reinventing a wheel that has been invented many times. In the final analysis, it is humility vs pride.
The human sex drive is simply not meant to be supressed indefinitely.
Actually, the best state for the Christian is virginity. Scripture makes that clear time and again, as does the Church's monastic tradition. That
is an indefinite suppression of the sex drive, and giving in to it is our animalistic response.
Marriage is the holy alternative for those who "cannot contain".
