I have a confession to make...
I am no longer single, which is why I haven't been posting here for awhile (that and finals, and work, and cheerleading, and yadda yadda yadda...).
I know those of you who know me will probably tell me how you think this was a horrible idea and I really wasn't ready and all that good stuff... but first, let me tell you why I am happy.
I am happy, because I finally started saying what I feel, and going for what I want. It used to be so hard for me to just spit the words out if I knew they would hurt someone, or if it wasn't what someone wanted to hear. I would bite my tongue, say something nice, and go home feeling worse than I did before. But now, if I am feeling something, I say it. It may take me awhile to get it out, but I say it. And I feel better, when I know I have said everything I wanted to say, and it's like this huge boulder has been lifted off my shoulder. I know I have hurt some people with what I have had to say... and I truly do feel bad for that. But they were things that had to be said... Bridges that had to be burned. And I believe I will be better off for it in the long run. I am not saying to be purposely hurtful by any means, and I know there are some instances where it's better to keep your mouth shut. But in matters of the heart, I believe you should always be honest and truthful with yourself, first and foremost. I had lost sight of that.
I went for what I wanted... and I got it. For so long I had told myself he would say no. He didn't want a relationship, he had told me this 5 months ago when we started hanging out together. So I never asked.... even though we started spending more and more time together and I knew my feelings for him were becoming stronger and stronger... I never asked... so sure that the answer would be the same and I didn't want to lose what we did have, even though it wasn't much, and it wasn't everything I wanted. It took almost losing him completely to realize, I never really gave him a chance to tell me no. I know now that, had I asked, he wouldn't have said no... All that heartache and pain and nights I laid awake arguing with myself about how I am just falling for some guy who wouldn't fall for me and he would never be ready, never commit... were a waste. Know what happens when you assume? You make an {wash my mouth} out of u and me.
So this is the end of my little rant, and my advice to all you singles:
Look out for number one. Do what makes you happy. Say what you feel. Spend time with those you love. Go for what you want. Never settle for less than what you deserve, and remember: You are worth it. You are a beautiful, unique creature of God.
I am no longer single, which is why I haven't been posting here for awhile (that and finals, and work, and cheerleading, and yadda yadda yadda...).
I know those of you who know me will probably tell me how you think this was a horrible idea and I really wasn't ready and all that good stuff... but first, let me tell you why I am happy.
I am happy, because I finally started saying what I feel, and going for what I want. It used to be so hard for me to just spit the words out if I knew they would hurt someone, or if it wasn't what someone wanted to hear. I would bite my tongue, say something nice, and go home feeling worse than I did before. But now, if I am feeling something, I say it. It may take me awhile to get it out, but I say it. And I feel better, when I know I have said everything I wanted to say, and it's like this huge boulder has been lifted off my shoulder. I know I have hurt some people with what I have had to say... and I truly do feel bad for that. But they were things that had to be said... Bridges that had to be burned. And I believe I will be better off for it in the long run. I am not saying to be purposely hurtful by any means, and I know there are some instances where it's better to keep your mouth shut. But in matters of the heart, I believe you should always be honest and truthful with yourself, first and foremost. I had lost sight of that.
I went for what I wanted... and I got it. For so long I had told myself he would say no. He didn't want a relationship, he had told me this 5 months ago when we started hanging out together. So I never asked.... even though we started spending more and more time together and I knew my feelings for him were becoming stronger and stronger... I never asked... so sure that the answer would be the same and I didn't want to lose what we did have, even though it wasn't much, and it wasn't everything I wanted. It took almost losing him completely to realize, I never really gave him a chance to tell me no. I know now that, had I asked, he wouldn't have said no... All that heartache and pain and nights I laid awake arguing with myself about how I am just falling for some guy who wouldn't fall for me and he would never be ready, never commit... were a waste. Know what happens when you assume? You make an {wash my mouth} out of u and me.
So this is the end of my little rant, and my advice to all you singles:
Look out for number one. Do what makes you happy. Say what you feel. Spend time with those you love. Go for what you want. Never settle for less than what you deserve, and remember: You are worth it. You are a beautiful, unique creature of God.
