Can I Stop Intrusive Thoughts? OCD Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit

JammyStar · Apr 22, 2008

Hi, I have OCD and it has been a big problem my entire life, especially now that I'm a Christian - it's kicked into overdrive. I'm always worried that I'm committing some kind of sin and this one scares me...

I have some absolutely sick thoughts and I don't want them but they just come to me. I say "sorry, I don't want these things in my head God, please forgive me Lord" right after but it doesn't stop me from being scared. Some things I have thought make me nautious... so bad and perverted I have trouble typing it... things like me breaking things at a Church, trying to kill people there and even a thought of me raping Jesus...

how can I have such sick thoughts? Is this OCD? I'm so worried, I don't want to go to Hell. Please help me.

gracealone · Apr 24, 2008

JammyStar said:
Hi, I have OCD and it has been a big problem my entire life, especially now that I'm a Christian - it's kicked into overdrive. I'm always worried that I'm committing some kind of sin and this one scares me...

I have some absolutely sick thoughts and I don't want them but they just come to me. I say "sorry, I don't want these things in my head God, please forgive me Lord" right after but it doesn't stop me from being scared. Some things I have thought make me nautious... so bad and perverted I have trouble typing it... things like me breaking things at a Church, trying to kill people there and even a thought of me raping Jesus...

how can I have such sick thoughts? Is this OCD? I'm so worried, I don't want to go to Hell. Please help me.

Hi JammyS.,
It's typical for a person with OCD to have it center upon doubts and intrusive thoughts about your faith in Christ. Most of us on this forum are here because our OCD has done the same thing to us.
Remember that the intense fear and anxiety that accompanies those unwanted/intrusive spikes is what is driving the OCD machine, otherwise you could just shrug them off and get on with life.
Even Christians without OCD have bizarre or doubtful thoughts about their faith pop into their heads but they don't get stuck there like those of us with OCD.
The very same tactics that help you with your past OCD themes have to be applied to this theme also.
You have to learn to just let the thoughts be there without giving them the attention they are demanding.
The only thing that has helped me with my religious OCD thoughts is to use exposure/response/prevention therapy on them.
Be assured that you are not alone in this and that many of us here on the forum understand the mental torture of having our OCD attack our faith.
Any how, welcome to the forum. I'm sure you'll learn a lot just from browsing the posts here.
OCD cannot undo the grace of God toward you. Thankfully our faith is not based in who we are but in all that God is.
Praying for you,
Mitzi

JammyStar · Apr 24, 2008

Thank you. Do you think the thought of raping the Lord is just too bad for me to recover? It seems like I'm the only one who had this thought.

kaykay637 · Apr 24, 2008

JammyStar said:
Thank you. Do you think the thought of raping the Lord is just too bad for me to recover? It seems like I'm the only one who had this thought.

No. Certainly not. These thoughts are triggered by OCD. The more you try not to think about them and get emotionally worked up over having them, the worse and sometimes more vile they can get.

The OCD will tell you, however, that yeah, others have had thoughts but yours are somehow different or worse than others. Not so. They have no spiritual significance. The more you "wrangle" with them the stronger they can become.

Prayers for you~ on this forum, we've been there, believe me!

unpardoned1 · Apr 28, 2008

This is for Jammy,

There are so many medications out there. Paxil in 30mg upwards seem good for getting rid of the really bad thoughts. Its just sickness and Jesus understands this.My thoughts are just as messed up.

marcb · Apr 29, 2008

unpardoned1 said:
This is for Jammy,

There are so many medications out there. Paxil in 30mg upwards seem good for getting rid of the really bad thoughts. Its just sickness and Jesus understands this.My thoughts are just as messed up.

I've been away for a while (busy with newborn twins

), but it's awesome to see how well you are doing, "pardoned1." You are right, it's just sickness (or I prefer to just call it anxiety).

It sounds so terse, but "staying busy" has been so good for me. God has blessed me with a family to care for, so if I start to obsess, I pray that I could just love and care for my precious children.

I will take my meds, stay busy, pray, and leave the rest to God.

HeatherG · Apr 29, 2008

marcb said:
I've been away for a while (busy with newborn twins ), but it's awesome to see how well you are doing, "pardoned1." You are right, it's just sickness (or I prefer to just call it anxiety).

It sounds so terse, but "staying busy" has been so good for me. God has blessed me with a family to care for, so if I start to obsess, I pray that I could just love and care for my precious children.

I will take my meds, stay busy, pray, and leave the rest to God.

Aww, Marc, congratulations on the newborn twins!
Praying God's blessings on your family,
Heather

gracealone · Apr 30, 2008

marcb said:
I've been away for a while (busy with newborn twins ), but it's awesome to see how well you are doing, "pardoned1." You are right, it's just sickness (or I prefer to just call it anxiety).

It sounds so terse, but "staying busy" has been so good for me. God has blessed me with a family to care for, so if I start to obsess, I pray that I could just love and care for my precious children.

I will take my meds, stay busy, pray, and leave the rest to God.

Hey Marc,
Congratulations to you and your wife!! I've been wondering if those little guys had made their appearance yet. Been praying for you and your family - buddy. So great to hear from you.
When you look into your babies faces you must be filled with joy.
"And now unto Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we could ask, or think, or hope or dream... all of the glory belongs to Him!!"
God Bless,
Mitzi

babegirl111 · Apr 30, 2008

Congrats Marc. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!!

ArmorofGod18 · Jul 29, 2008

I have a question for you all, I was watching a sermon on TBN as I was joining I accidentally said "Jesus don't forgive me." Did I committed blasphemy?

babegirl111 · Jul 30, 2008

Hey Armor, to answer yur question no i don't. I seriously doubt you meant that. Just pray to JESUS. He knows your heart!

seajoy · Jul 31, 2008

ArmorofGod18 said:
I have a question for you all, I was watching a sermon on TBN as I was joining I accidentally said "Jesus don't forgive me." Did I committed blasphemy?

nope

kaykay9.0 · Jul 31, 2008

seajoy said:
nope

I agree~nope.

Armor, this is just your OCD. Your anxiety over accidentally saying something is evidence of OCD struggles. It is not, repeat not a spiritual problem. Any possible future variation of this is the exact same thing. Believe me. :hug:

bmw57 · Aug 7, 2008

i had 2 versions, so i submitted it below.

bmw57 · Aug 7, 2008

I have been suffering with a nearly uncotrollable mental state and anxiety or suffering and trying to comprehend this blasphemy of the holy spirit. I have been the hospital and took medication. Just recently i made a confession out loud to God because i had enough of being tortured with it and said it openly to him. I am sorry for thinking about the holy spirit was blank im not going to mention it because everytime i do it hurts and hurst enough when i think about it. Please help me as soon as you can. I don't know if it is my OCD but im genuinly scarred for my life and not to mention my soul right now that by saying out loud to God in confession, have i spoke against the holy spirit? did i take that risk in asking for forgiveness? was i tricked by satan? I'm confused. Please contact me as soon as you can. My more recent scenario was with my mind i tried to follow this book about STOP OBSESSING and their advice was to "Accept the anxious thought". "Dwell on it, then you can take more control over it, or postpone it" Well i tried that and after the 3 or 4th time think something bad about the holy spirit i was suffering from a mental breakdown and took some pills and had a few smokes, anda few tears asking the Lord to take me out of my misery, now im feeling calmer but i just don't understand why GOd allows this for our life. Does this count as blaspheming of the holy spirit even tho i was deceieved by a book and i didn't say anything outloud i just think it and not sure if it came from my heart or not. I know in my right mind i would never consider that from my heart and I love the Lord and Jesus and thank for everyday i wake up. I was saved when i was 5 years old i knew the Lord for a long time. I thought he doesnt put on more than what we can't handle. The part in the bible about the unpardonable sin is starting to annoy me, because it just like someone saying go stand in that corner of the bus and stop thinking about pink elephants. I take it no different. Its tuff. And I love the Lord and wish one day he will heal me and i can get thru this. IT feels like im stuck in neutral i was somewhat normal until this came up in my life. A friend mentioned it to me to actually comfort me that my sins can be forgiven all the time except for that 1. and from then on in it backfired. And i havn't been able to let go of it. IM always worried that i blasphemed the holy spirit. And wonder tonight if i did with that book advice by trying to accept the thought for a little while see if it goes away, instead of my normal routine of dismissing it. It nearly put me in the hopsital. I will not take an advice from a book that doesnt understand the complexity of this issue. I think its referring to coffee addiciton or paying bills obsessions. This is one i would like to speak to a professional about. My mind doesnt have peace.

God bless,
Alex

seajoy · Aug 7, 2008

bmw57 said:
I have been suffering with a nearly uncotrollable mental state and anxiety or suffering and trying to comprehend this blasphemy of the holy spirit. I have been the hospital and took medication. Just recently i made a confession out loud to God because i had enough of being tortured with it and said it openly to him. I am sorry for thinking about the holy spirit was blank im not going to mention it because everytime i do it hurts and hurst enough when i think about it. Please help me as soon as you can. I don't know if it is my OCD but im genuinly scarred for my life and not to mention my soul right now that by saying out loud to God in confession, have i spoke against the holy spirit? did i take that risk in asking for forgiveness? was i tricked by satan? I'm confused. Please contact me as soon as you can. My more recent scenario was with my mind i tried to follow this book about STOP OBSESSING and their advice was to "Accept the anxious thought". "Dwell on it, then you can take more control over it, or postpone it" Well i tried that and after the 3 or 4th time think something bad about the holy spirit i was suffering from a mental breakdown and took some pills and had a few smokes, anda few tears asking the Lord to take me out of my misery, now im feeling calmer but i just don't understand why GOd allows this for our life. Does this count as blaspheming of the holy spirit even tho i was deceieved by a book and i didn't say anything outloud i just think it and not sure if it came from my heart or not. I know in my right mind i would never consider that from my heart and I love the Lord and Jesus and thank for everyday i wake up. I was saved when i was 5 years old i knew the Lord for a long time. I thought he doesnt put on more than what we can't handle. The part in the bible about the unpardonable sin is starting to annoy me, because it just like someone saying go stand in that corner of the bus and stop thinking about pink elephants. I take it no different. Its tuff. And I love the Lord and wish one day he will heal me and i can get thru this. IT feels like im stuck in neutral i was somewhat normal until this came up in my life. A friend mentioned it to me to actually comfort me that my sins can be forgiven all the time except for that 1. and from then on in it backfired. And i havn't been able to let go of it. IM always worried that i blasphemed the holy spirit. And wonder tonight if i did with that book advice by trying to accept the thought for a little while see if it goes away, instead of my normal routine of dismissing it. It nearly put me in the hopsital. I will not take an advice from a book that doesnt understand the complexity of this issue. I think its referring to coffee addiciton or paying bills obsessions. This is one i would like to speak to a professional about. My mind doesnt have peace.

God bless,
Alex

You were not deceived by a book. You just need to do the therapy with a psychiatrist so you understand that the anxiety will come in waves, most especially when you first start.

I always tell people to do the therapy with a doctor. He will help you get through it, and God will be there, right beside you.

Think about how God holds the person who is going through chemo for cancer...with His loving arms around that person. The Lord does the same for us in our OCD treatment....holds us with that same tender care.

You have done nothing wrong, and have not blasphemed. You have a brain chemical imbalance. Find a doctor so you can live life to fullest, and have peace in your salvation.

kaykay9.0 · Aug 7, 2008

seajoy said:
You were not deceived by a book. You just need to do the therapy with a psychiatrist so you understand that the anxiety will come in waves, most especially when you first start.

I always tell people to do the therapy with a doctor. He will help you get through it, and God will be there, right beside you.

Think about how God holds the person who is going through chemo for cancer...with His loving arms around that person. The Lord does the same for us in our OCD treatment....holds us with that same tender care.

You have done nothing wrong, and have not blasphemed. You have a brain chemical imbalance. Find a doctor so you can live life to fullest, and have peace in your salvation.

Ditto to what seajoy said here. This "blasphemy of the Holy Spirit" fear is very, VERY common among those of us who have battled religious OCD. ( Yes, it is very much like the pink elephant scenario. That's how our brains work!) When I was younger, this was one of the things that tormented me too. I think the rule of thumb that most pastors/theologians give is true~"If you are concerned you have blasphemed the Holy Spirit, you haven't." If you put this in light of the whole counsel of scripture, I think you will find that anyone still capable of desiring the things of God,of wanting forgiveness is able to be forgiven. The following is a good website about this that I often post~~

www.net-burst.net/guilty/scrupulosity.htm

And like seajoy said, you need to find a counselor who can help you work through this because IF you are battling OCD, reassurance on this issue will not usually be enough to settle anything permanently.

Wishing you the best~~ :hug:

bmw57 · Aug 7, 2008

scupulisity isn't something im too familiar with i have heard of it. I don't know id what i have done qualifies for that. I would say yesterday was the first time i tried a method of treatment to deal with this problem and having it backfired. I choose to deliberately think of that and it would sound like my voice saying it in my mind. After the 3 time in repeating something bad about the holy spirit. It sounded in like it was sadistic and laughing kind of way. This was my first indication it wasn't from my heart. The fact that i deliberately went thru with this alarms me, and puts me in a the dangerous territory. I usually like dismiss the bad thoughts but this time i let it get too far and as a wrote above i suffered the reprocussions. I know he gave us a freewill, but i could tell the holy spirit inside me was grieved and not sure if he left me. I immediately thought i blasphemed him this time, because i cannot say the thought was involuntary. I purposely tried to have it to see if i could face it. I don't know if it counts or not. I spoke nothing outloud of what i was thinking, but i still feel guilty and disturbed. I'm never going to try advice from that book anymore. I feel a bit better today but its on my mind right now like a sack of potatoes. But another side of my mind is saying, i fought the good fight, and i didn't let me surrender easily, im a fighter, and i tried my hardest all the other 78,000 times it has bombarded me, and i would just immediately dismissed them. This time i lost. But i still love the Lord regardless, and I know one day satan will lose, and when jesus comes back he will just say with His mouth and the devil will be defeated. As far as the flesh and my carnal mind, i don't know how much responsibility we should take for this. I asked the Lord to forgive me, even if he doesn't. Thats ok. (well not really) but, I will support the light and stay humble and try not to stumble. Theres some things i don't understand about God and why they will forgive 9999999999+ sins except for this one.

I will read more about scupulosity tho.

big thanks for your replies,
and God bless.

seajoy · Aug 7, 2008

bmw57 said:
scupulisity isn't something im too familiar with i have heard of it. I don't know id what i have done qualifies for that. I would say yesterday was the first time i tried a method of treatment to deal with this problem and having it backfired. I choose to deliberately think of that and it would sound like my voice saying it in my mind. After the 3 time in repeating something bad about the holy spirit. It sounded in like it was sadistic and laughing kind of way. This was my first indication it wasn't from my heart. The fact that i deliberately went thru with this alarms me, and puts me in a the dangerous territory. I usually like dismiss the bad thoughts but this time i let it get too far and as a wrote above i suffered the reprocussions. I know he gave us a freewill, but i could tell the holy spirit inside me was grieved and not sure if he left me. I immediately thought i blasphemed him this time, because i cannot say the thought was involuntary. I purposely tried to have it to see if i could face it. I don't know if it counts or not. I spoke nothing outloud of what i was saying, but i still feel guilty and disturbed. I'm never going to try advice from that book anymore. I feel a bit better today but its on my mind right now like a sack of potatoes. But another side of my mind is saying, i fought the good fight, and i didn't let me surrender easily, im a fighter, and i tried my hardest all the other 78,000 times it has bombarded me. This time i lost. But i still love the Lord regardless, and I know one day satan will lose, and when jesus comes back he will just say with him mouth and the devil will be defeated. As far as the flesh and my carnal mind, i don't know how much responsibility we should take for this. I asked the Lord to forgive me, even if he doesn't. Thats ok. (well not really) but, I will support the light and stay humble and try not to stumble. Theres some things i don't understand about God and why they will forgive 9999999999+ sins except for this one.

I will read more about scupulosity tho.

thanks,
and God bless.

Please seek out a psychiatrist for your thoughts. What you are all saying is VERY OCD'ish. You did nothing wrong by trying some therapy from that book. You just need a doctor to help you with it so you understand the disorder better.

Please don't be scared off therapy. In time, it works wonderously. You just need to take baby steps. :hug:

kaykay9.0 · Aug 7, 2008

Scrupulosity is a term given sometimes for someone whose struggle with OCD is kind of in the area of "religious OCD." The way my counselor has put it is that she says a lot of Christian who struggle with OCD struggle with it in the area of their faith because that is what is most important to them.

What you have described sounds no different to me than what many of us have dealt with in battling this. The Lord knows your heart is not to blaspheme. Anything you have done or not done regarding this has been an effort to get RID of this. Not promote or accept it.

Yes, I would continue to read the website that I posted for you including some of the "testimonies" on there which I think are really strong.

I also totally agree with what seajoy posted to you above.

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