GT Loved Ones, Help.

CathNancy said:

Mont if a girl is Protestant and marries a Catholic, do you still think that she should submit to his lead? If both are convinced that the faith tradition that they are in is the right one, how can either give it up for the other? I know that I could not give up the Catholic Faith for even my husband if he had been non-Catholic. I'm still not saying that a good marriage cannot exist, but it is more difficult.

God Bless,
Nancy

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The Bible is clear on the God ordained leadership of men and you have admitted to a (theoretical) willingness to sin.

My sister, who attends the same church I do, is married to a non-practicing rc. She still submits to him while praying for his salvation.

sunlover1 said:

Daughter informed me that son (who still lives home) has
a girl, and her name is Mary, and he's not mentioned it
to me cos "didnt feel like playing 20 questions".
That was mostly a joke, and imo he didnt tell me
because she's Catholic (I found out later).

I said, "Jay" (not his real name) One question sweety,
not twenty, what church does she go to?
He said St such and such.
I said, "what the @#$% were you thinking".
(Subtle and supportive wasnt i?)


He said, well she goes to "insert name of emergent
church here" sometimes too.


That was yesterday in the AM.
Yes, I know we have to let the kids
make their own choices.
My question is this:
Do I say something?
Is there anything I should,
as a caring parent, say to son?
Is it none of my bi'ness

Or isnt it even an unequal yoking
should it get serious?
(this kid dont date, and is a very
goal oriented person like a "Paul")

Catholics/Protestants etc. What would
you guys do or say in that situation?

Help only please, no judging k?

thanks,
sunlover

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Sunlover,

Been there and done it! My oldest daughter married a Catholic--started dating him when she was a freshman and steadily throughout highschool. They broke up briefly when he went off to college about three (3) hourse away. That is when I started studying catholicism.

You can not influence who your children date. Most likely--if you're too determined that they not see each other, he will only want to see her more.

I knew my daughter was making a mistake. Not just because he was Catholic, there were other things that didn't fit. However, I truly believed that her spouse and his family cared deeply for her and loved her. But, when her husband, his mother, and the parish priest let her be baptized Catholic without taking RCIA classes, I was deeply concerned for her. How, could they let her take communion knowing full will she did not understand the Catholic belief regarding the Real Presence. I, also, knew she would never believe what they taught about the RP. The only one who spoke up for her was her best friend at the time, who was Catholic. She and my daughter's husband traded heated words during church. I realized at that point, their desire to have my daughter join the church so ill-prepared was because they wanted to ensure that any children born to the marriage would be raised Catholic.

Anyhow, needless to say, the marriage was very brief.

I wish I knew what to say. When it comes to young love, there's no reasoning with it.

My son was dating a girl who was way too young. That was the worst battle I ever fought. I had my inlaws telling me he was 18, he could do whatever he wanted. So, they let him come and live with them--until they figured out they couldn't afford to feed him. Luckily, he saw the light before any permanent damage was done. But, it was a very painful and hurtful time.

I just found the more I protested, they more determined they were to see who they wanted.

My youngest daughter started dating a boy 4-5 years older than her when she was 15. I said no way! He was a wild boy. I said you're just 15 and I can stop you from seeing him. She said, I'll be 16 in less than six months, then we can date legally. (16 is the age of consent in OK). Finally, I said, okay, you can date him. It didn't last another two (2) months.

I will pray for you.

catlover said:

I don't know, I attract bad men like cow dung attracts flies.

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that's because about 95% of us men are bad.

Uphill Battle said:

that's because about 95% of us men are bad.

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That's an improvement over last years stats.

racer said:

My brother-in-law has determined that he is a "nut-magnet . . ."

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In our family, we call it "kook attraction".

CathNancy said:

Mont if a girl is Protestant and marries a Catholic, do you still think that she should submit to his lead? If both are convinced that the faith tradition that they are in is the right one, how can either give it up for the other? I know that I could not give up the Catholic Faith for even my husband if he had been non-Catholic. I'm still not saying that a good marriage cannot exist, but it is more difficult.

God Bless,
Nancy

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wives are not dogs we don't have to submit to our masters-

Uphill Battle said:

that's because about 95% of us men are bad.

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No way! the good ones are taken is what it is.

sunlover1 said:

Thank you and I appreciate that more than you can know.
Sorry about your daughters marriage. I know why
God hates divorce, it's because it hurts his kids so.



LOL. Who told you?
if it makes you feel better, stats for women arent
probably far off from that.

I think she's referring to this:
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of the church:
and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Not like dogs and masters though, it's different.
But looky what the guys hafta do:
Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ also loved the church,
and gave himself for it;





Obviously we're all falling a bit short here.
Maybe if the husbands loved like this the wives
would submit.
Or maybe if the wives submitted thus, the husbands
would love more.

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Notice tho that teh commands are not conditional. I am to love my wife whether she respects me, and submits, or not and I am to love her whether she obeys God or not.

sunlover1 said:

Thank you and I appreciate that more than you can know.
Sorry about your daughters marriage. I know why
God hates divorce, it's because it hurts his kids so.



LOL. Who told you?
if it makes you feel better, stats for women arent
probably far off from that.

I think she's referring to this:
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife,
even as Christ is the head of the church:
and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Not like dogs and masters though, it's different.
But looky what the guys hafta do:
Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ also loved the church,
and gave himself for it;





Obviously we're all falling a bit short here.
Maybe if the husbands loved like this the wives
would submit.
Or maybe if the wives submitted thus, the husbands
would love more.

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This is where I will be booed but I look at the cultural context of that passage-women and children were property. thank God that is not longer the case. Naturally it would be written "submit". but slaves are told to "submit" too and we know slavery is morally wrong so we look at the culture.

Slavery as it was practiced then was not moraly wrong. It was a voluntary contract that was based on debt, not the rascist, oppression that was forced on Africans.

Rick Otto said:

Slavery as it was practiced then was not moraly wrong. It was a voluntary contract that was based on debt, not the rascist, oppression that was forced on Africans.

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owning another human being is immoral period.

catlover said:

owning another human being is immoral period.

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do you work for a living? if you do, then you are most certainly "owned". Whoever you work for, owns you while you are there.

Are you saying that anyone who has a nanny or a maid or a butler is immoral? I happen to know a family of butlers who take their jobs very seriously. It's something that has been passed down from their generations.

And anyway, this is drifting off topic.

Most of us see nothing immoral or wrong about those beautiful passages. We had them used as the basis for the sermonette at our wedding. I think if more people adopted the correct attitudes there'd be less divorce.

I submit to my husband. I may not agree with him, but I know that biblically, unless he is asking me to do something against God's words, I should submit to him. It is the right thing to do. My husband loves me dearly, and I pity anyone who ever tries to hurt me because I'm sure he'd kill them. My marriage is a healthy marriage, and our children are getting wonderful lessons on how it should work.

A big part of that, though, is because we share the same beliefs. I think it would be very hard for a marriage to work if one person didn't believe in the role of man and woman.

PreachersWife2004 said:

do you work for a living? if you do, then you are most certainly "owned". Whoever you work for, owns you while you are there.

Are you saying that anyone who has a nanny or a maid or a butler is immoral? I happen to know a family of butlers who take their jobs very seriously. It's something that has been passed down from their generations.

And anyway, this is drifting off topic.

Most of us see nothing immoral or wrong about those beautiful passages. We had them used as the basis for the sermonette at our wedding. I think if more people adopted the correct attitudes there'd be less divorce.

I submit to my husband. I may not agree with him, but I know that biblically, unless he is asking me to do something against God's words, I should submit to him. It is the right thing to do. My husband loves me dearly, and I pity anyone who ever tries to hurt me because I'm sure he'd kill them. My marriage is a healthy marriage, and our children are getting wonderful lessons on how it should work.

A big part of that, though, is because we share the same beliefs. I think it would be very hard for a marriage to work if one person didn't believe in the role of man and woman.

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the way my wife and I do it, is if we disagree, and cannot come to agreement, then I am forced to make the decision, for good or ill.

but my wife is smart. she's usually right.

Uphill Battle said:

the way my wife and I do it, is if we disagree, and cannot come to agreement, then I am forced to make the decision, for good or ill.

but my wife is smart. she's usually right.

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Yeah, my husband says the same thing. More often than not I am able to provide a convincing argument as to why I'm right and he's not! In the end, even if he doesn't decide what I want, I abide by it.

I certainly don't feel as though I am being a dog when I do this. My marriage has very few fights in it because we respect the opinion of the other person. In my first marriage, this respect was not there. My ex was not the spiritual head, nor was he the financial head, so it was up to me to take up the slack. I hated every minute of it, because I knew he was shirking on his responsibilities. As you can see, that marriage did not last long. I am so much happier in this marriage...I truly know it will be til death do us part, because I can't imagine my life not being married to him.

Sorry to get all mooshy.

PreachersWife2004 said:

Yeah, my husband says the same thing. More often than not I am able to provide a convincing argument as to why I'm right and he's not! In the end, even if he doesn't decide what I want, I abide by it.

I certainly don't feel as though I am being a dog when I do this. My marriage has very few fights in it because we respect the opinion of the other person. In my first marriage, this respect was not there. My ex was not the spiritual head, nor was he the financial head, so it was up to me to take up the slack. I hated every minute of it, because I knew he was shirking on his responsibilities. As you can see, that marriage did not last long. I am so much happier in this marriage...I truly know it will be til death do us part, because I can't imagine my life not being married to him.

Sorry to get all mooshy.

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Sounds like our house.

PreachersWife2004 said:

Yeah, my husband says the same thing. More often than not I am able to provide a convincing argument as to why I'm right and he's not! In the end, even if he doesn't decide what I want, I abide by it.

I certainly don't feel as though I am being a dog when I do this. My marriage has very few fights in it because we respect the opinion of the other person. In my first marriage, this respect was not there. My ex was not the spiritual head, nor was he the financial head, so it was up to me to take up the slack. I hated every minute of it, because I knew he was shirking on his responsibilities. As you can see, that marriage did not last long. I am so much happier in this marriage...I truly know it will be til death do us part, because I can't imagine my life not being married to him.

Sorry to get all mooshy.

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moosh away, doesn't bother me!

I'm glad you have such a great marriage!