Advice needed in regards to a friend

Alexander1982

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One of my best friends from college has ended a 3 and half years relationship and she seems to take it pretty bad. This is the first time I have been "A" in this depressing state. Because back in college she is always cheerful and very chatty.

I sense that this upcoming Valentines is going to make it worse for "A" because she will have no one share her Valentines day with. And so to ease her agony I decided to give "A" my Valentines with chocolates, knowing her weakness for chocolates. Though I am a little hesitant and uneasy about this because I fear by giving this Valetnines "A" would probably interpet this as "I really like you and I want us to be more then friends" - whereas I aimed for "hey love hurts and it sucks but these chocolates are great! Everything will be ok in time and right now enjoy life"

What do you guys think? Choccies is a bit too much?
 

RosaVernal

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I'm going to assume that you're a fairly nice/good guy here, so there's not a huge risk of that. Nice guys don't try to be the rebound, especially not on that day.

It sounds like a good gesture - maybe include something to indicate platonic interests if you're worried?
 
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alfrodull

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When I was in that state I probably would have interpreted any such attention as a possible romantic hint, no matter how much it had "just friends" painted all over it.

There are some things you can do to get your intentions across, though, if you're set on it. Like someone else said, give her a cute, maybe kiddish card and regular candy bars, not a heart-shaped box or something in pretty foil wrappers or anything like that. And give a similar gift to some mutual female friend at the same time.
 
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gottabemore2life

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I don't think so. If you attached a cute little card about how you are glad you are FRIENDS and you will be here for her.

She probably doesn't want a relationship right now anyway, so hopefully, if she is smart, she won't read too much into it.

If I were her, I would be more likely to feel like it's a sympathy gift rather than something you really wanted to give me, which may not e the best either.
 
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RED that's ME

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That's sweet of you to care about your friends feelings especially at Valentines. :) I agree with the others that you just need to be careful what you get her. You can get her different things that doesn't say *romantic.*

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Would it make her feel better if i just explain the upside of single life outlininig how liberating it is?

hehe you know that sounds like a new thread topic.....

Name the upsides of being Single

or

How is being Single liberating for you?
 
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Fremdin

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Yes! great idea. Take her somewhere fun and maybe a little lame. Like a safari park or a cheapo amusment park. Something cheesy fun. When I'm in bad mood I go to the zoo and look at the monkeys. I was having a rough time once and a friend of mine took me to Cross-eyed cricket which is a cheesy place where they stock lakes with fish for little kids and I felt all better. Another time I was depressed and I went to a mall canrival and just rode the Tilt-A-Whirl for hours (Carnies will let you do this is you have a sad story and are a girl).



In other words - show her how life beautiful can be, by doing lots of stuff

I fear she might go into the suicide track if she sinks deeper into depression
 
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