First RCIA Class

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Caedmon

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Well, this time we talked about the Saints. I thought we were just going to talk about Saints in general, but they included the lesson on Mary too. That was a bummer, because I didn't know they were combining the two lessons into one, so I didn't read the one on Mary ahead of time. :sigh: Oh well, no harm done. It was a good lesson, but I feel as though it was... lacking. :( We didn't spend anywhere near as much time as I wanted on specific aspects of Mary. Then again, we had less than an hour. Oh, and I tried mentioning things like the parallels between Mary and the Ark of the Covenant, and all they said was, "oh yeah, I did an extensive study on that once", and that was the end of it. :sigh: I also feel as though they're not giving me opportunities to ask questions. I feel like they're doing their best to cover the entire lesson, rushing from one section to another, and not letting me get in a word edge-wise. It's very frustrating. *argh* Anyways, at least we got to talk a little about Mary. Unfortunately, it wasn't anywhere close to what I had desired. But oh well, I guess I'm just going to have to ask extra questions outside. Man, this is just so big. I wish I knew where to start. I'm thinking about talking to one of the more knowledgable teachers, and asking her about some extra materials(fat books, lol :D) that I could read.
 
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VOW

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LOLOLOLOL!!

When I took my "Inquiry" class, I felt like a dry sponge being set NEAR a pool of water. I wanted more, more, MORE!

Other people had questions, too, but I just wanted so much. I finally asked Fr Louis for reading recommendations (I was already making weekly trips to the Catholic book store). Father came to the next class with a backpack. He looked a little like Santa Claus, pulling one book out, handing it to someone, pulling out another book, handing it to another....

The biggest, fattest book was mine.

There is a wealth of knowledge out there, Joe, just waiting for you.


Peace be with you,
~VOW
 
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Caedmon

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Originally posted by isshinwhat
Mark 5:36

..."Do not be afraid; only believe."

True, but... much easier said, than done. :sigh:

It's difficult to go against 20 years of religious upbringing. And right now, I'm just too scared to do it. That doesn't mean I'm not trying. I just need enough time and enough reading and enough assurance for it to feel like "home", before I can step through and close the door behind me. I'm just not ready to do it.
 
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isshinwhat

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It's difficult to go against 20 years of religious upbringing. And right now, I'm just too scared to do it. That doesn't mean I'm not trying. I just need enough time and enough reading and enough assurance for it to feel like "home", before I can step through and close the door behind me. I'm just not ready to do it.

We're all praying for you, Joe, whatever you decide. I understand about the upbringing part. I'm the only Catholic in my family, so I get to hear a lot of honest, "but honey the Bible doesn't say that," 's all the time from well-meaning relatives. They just really don't know anything about my faith. They have all been supportive because of my honesty, even though they have been befuddled, too. My parents have been good about it, even though they really don't know anything about it. Mom is good to ask questions, and Dad will talk in generalities. It alright, though. They know I am honestly following Christ, and are proud of me for it.

God Bless you, brother,

Neal
 
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Caedmon

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Last night we talked about the people and places of Catholic churches. There were a lot of fancy names and stuff. I learned about all the items in Catholic churches and all the people in the Catholic Church's hierarchy. To be honest, it was not as exciting as my other meetings, but I liked it nonetheless. Well, I really don't know what else to talk about, other than the fact that both women that are RCIA with me are married to men from the same church, and both of their newborns share my name. Freaky? I dunno. Miracle? Dunno... Anyways, talk to you guys later.

Actually, there is something I wanted to talk about. Last night, my teacher mentioned that are only a few Inquiry meetings left. Catechumenate starts after Christmas. Guys... I don't know if I want to go through it. I mean, I want to, but, I don't know how I would handle it. I feel like "pressure time" is coming, like a "choose or lose" deadline. To be honest, the meetings aren't satisfying me. But in order to get access to something satisfying, I would probably have to do the Catechumenate. I just don't know if I can do that. Sorry, it's just too freaky for me right now... I'm sorry. :(
 
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Caedmon

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Guys, I think something is happening...

I had a long talk with a close friend tonight. He asked me this question:
"Are you Catholic in your heart?"... ... ...
I could only answer... "I am."...

I don't know what to think right now. I'm confused enough as it is. I still don't think I can convert this "go around" for RCIA.(please don't judge me) I'm still trying to decide if it's time. But I'm beginning to feel my heart loosen. I can't explain it, but as another good friend told me, "You don't have to". I guess I'll just leave it at that right now. I'm continuing to pray. Please pray for me. :pray: I love all you guys. :cry: :hug:
 
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ZooMom

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Joe, please don't think about it as 'choose or lose' time. It really isn't. You won't 'lose' anything. I'm so sorry that you are feeling pressured. You have come an amazing way in a very short time, and there is so much to know about the Church, I can really understand why you are starting to feel like it's 'crunch time'. But, you can take as long as you want to learn and grow, before you make the decision. There was a man in my RCIA class who had been through *5 times*! Nobody looked at him kooky. ;) There was so much more I, myself, wanted to know when it came time to make the decision, but I chose to keep discovering from within the Church. The Spirit had spoken to my heart, and I knew that I belonged there. I couldn't stay away from the Eucharist. I craved it. Needed it the way a man dying of thirst needs water. And, at the time, I didn't truly understand why I did. I had grasped the concept of transubstantiation quickly enough, and had accepted on faith that Christ really was present in the bread and wine. This was more though. I had never felt this...goodness, what can I say...incapacitating desire (eek) for any other part of my faith, ever, in any church. I was in tears at every Mass because I couldn't go forward at Communion. Then I realised why. He was calling me. Christ was calling me to come. I couldn't wait any more. I was home, and He was there, and I had all the time in the world to explore my new faith. To get stumped over something, and then gradually come to understanding. It still happens. :)

You are on God's time, Joe. Not a class schedule, or a church schedule. And this is about *your* faith, not mine or anyone else's. I hope my sharing with you doesn't make you feel more pressured. It isn't meant to, I just wanted to you understand that 'No' now doesn't mean 'No' forever. I couldn't wait, but that doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't. Take time. Pray. Be very sure, because you are changing your life here. It isn't just about where you go to church. Being Catholic will permeate your entire life.

You are in my prayers, as always. :) :hug:
 
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KC Catholic

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Joe -

Zoomom is right...there is no pressure to join at all. Take your time and let the Holy Spirit lead you. If he leads you to the Church, great. If not, that's great, too, but we have to turn loose the reigns and let God handle it.

You may not be ready yet according to the Holy Spirit. Take a step back after Inquiry is done and pray. Maybe that time off will give you the room you need in order to really focus. You're not missing the boat by waiting and the Church has been here for 2000 years - it ain't going anywhere overnight.

Relax and pray...:pray: :hug:

We all love you here, no matter where you end up. Hang in there.
 
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To Joe:

I'll be an echo with everyone else. Go ahead and take the RCIA classes, because you are starting to truly crave MORE information, and that is exactly what the RCIA classes are: more information!

I'm sorry you are scared, and I know you must have been TERRIFIED at answering your friend "I am."

But at least you KNOW, now.

Let your heart guide you. Keep going to Mass, keep following everything that happens at Mass. When Jesus finally opens your heart to Him, and you start craving the Eucharist, then you will finally understand. I think every convert on this board will tell you, it's the CRAVING for the Eucharist that finally pulled them in.

You mentioned in another thread a while back that you felt LONELY for God, you wanted something to touch, so you knew He was real, He was in your life. That's what the Eucharist is, Joe. Jesus loved us so much, and He understood the human heart. He knew we would need more than just His word, and the fellowship of other Christians. He wanted to leave something with us, that would continue to pull us back to Him.

He created the Eucharist, so we can touch God.



Peace be with you,
~VOW
 
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isshinwhat

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Joe, your conversion of heart is the first step in a long journey that may take years to come to fruition. If you go through RCIA 5 times, no one will think less of you. The thing about a walk with God is just that, it is a walk. There is no destination. If you do join the Catholic Church at some point, that isn't even the destination. Our destination... our desire is the Beatific Vision, and until we are there, living in the Eternal Sabbath that is life with Christ, we will struggle to understand. Our walk with Christ will never end, Joe, it will just get deeper and deeper as we fall more and more in love with God. To paraphrase the comments of many others here, you are in my prayers. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the movement of Christ in your life. You have truly been blessed.

Neal
 
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Caedmon

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Tonight we talked about Catholic prayers. Basically, I knew most of it already. We talked about how we liked to pray. We also went over all the memorized prayers that are found in the Rosary, including the Sign of the Cross and the Apostle's Creed. That was the majority of the lesson. There's another prayer that I read ahead in the next lesson that I also liked called the Jesus prayer. It says, "Lord Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner". You can also say, "Jesus, have mercy on me", or just "Jesus". You're supposed to say it really slowly and repeat it a lot of times, and I like that. It's supposed to make you feel like you're in the presence of God. That's really special to me, because I feel that kind of thing sometimes when I pray the Rosary. It just floods all over you and covers you all up, and it feels so good. Your heart "turns inside out"(VOW ;) ). It fills me up with love, and I really need that. It took me a really long time to let Jesus love me like this. I felt like I didn't deserve it, and that I was a worm, and nothing but trash, but I'm trying to believe that Jesus doesn't make trash. That's really hard for me. But when I let Him love me, oooohhhh, it feels so good. I never knew Jesus could love me like this before. I never knew He loved me so much. It makes me cry every time I think about it. You just have to release yourself and stop beating yourself up, and let Him heal you. And oooohhhh, it feels so good for Him to heal you. I wish I could tell you how it feels but I can't. You just have to feel it for yourself. But I'll tell you how... just sit or kneel at your bed or in a warm chair or wherever is quiet and safe, and let Jesus love you, don't try to pull back. Yield your heart and let go of how much you're hurting. I know it's hard, because I like to hold onto how much I'm hurting because it's the only thing I've known for a very long time. But letting Jesus fill up your heart and overflow all over your entire body feels sooo much better. Let Him love you. He wants to. He doesn't think you're trash. You're His little baby. You can't feel much more love than that.
 
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Caedmon

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Guys, I'm getting overwhelmed. It's nothing personal. I just need to step back for a few. I can't handle too much pressure. I just need to do normal, average, everyday life kinds of things right now. I've been thinking about Catholicism every waking minute, and I'm getting a bit kooky. I know you guys aren't trying to pressure me, but I'm starting to get "claustrophobic". I need some time off. I know I'm probably bringing a lot of pressure on myself by myself, but you know...

I just need to stop for a time. Please don't speak on it unless I ask, at least for a while. I hope I'm not hurting anyone, I just need to get away.

Love, hj
 
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