rude and racist brother

If I were you I would check out who your brother is hanging around with.

In situations where a behaviour pattern suddenly alters it is usually due to some outside influence from someone that the person wants to impress.

Are your brother's friends of a similar opinion to the race issue?

Is there some sort of initiation that is required for your brother to become a full member of a group he likes to talk about?

I am assuming this racist behaviour is unusual and has manifested itself as the result of his peers.

Bad company spoils good character! (its in the Book of Proverbs!)

Pete

Racist, but NOT against all races.

Well, that is a start.
It is a limited problem.

First, spend most of your time talking about races he likes.

Second, study-up a little bit on the race he doesn't like.
Get some positive stories about some of them.
Sprinkle in a positive story once in a while.
This might help him see that they CAN be good, too.

Third, maybe try to find out HOW he got turned-off on that race.
One of them may have done something awful.
Listen, without judging.
Hear him out. Then you will have an idea of the problem is.

Fourth, pray for him.
Pray for that race.

Fifth, if the rest of your family doesn't feel that racist way, they may be willing to help you calm down Bro's racism.

Sixth, if you know a person of that race, talk to him. Ask for his ideas about what to do about it.
Maybe you two can get close, in a common cause: Helping your Bro.

Mostly racism is caused by fear.
Ignorance causes fear.

And racism is caused by scape-goating: My Life is crap, because of THEM.
In this case, it may be satisfying for Bro to do this.
It's easier thinking that others are causing my problems, than to look deeply inside of my soul, and see that WE can cause our own problems quite well . . . without any help from others.

But one thing . . . we all have our set of problems (and "stinking thinking").
Bro is entitled to be messed up in his own way.
We are all just trying to get through this Life.

So, maybe you can Let Go of your upset about Bro's problem.
If he is good in other ways, then concentrate your energy on that part of him.
With your Love and understanding, Bro could feel better, and have LESS need to practice his racism.

I will pray for you and Bro.
Good luck.

jc9992 said:

i appreciate your advice pete but i know my brothers friends and hes not with the wrong crowd.

solidlyhere he is racist against everyone but will say hes only racist against some races.The reason for him being racist against asians is he says "because they cause all the problems in the world"

Hes been like this for a while and isnt showing any sign of stopping.

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It seems to me to be an attention seeking thing.
Do not respond to his jibes and he will soon stop them if you don't react.

Ah! So your brother has developed a racist attitude against asians in the past 3 years.

You live in the US, where your president has targeted Al Quaida and Islam as the cause of all that ails the world and threatens the American way, and you wonder why your brother has a race issue with asians?

I think he is the victim of the media and political hype that your country has been fed . He has just allowed it to sway him further than many of you.

I think the getting informed and helping your brother to see that ALL asians are not terrorists is definitely the key to helping him. And keep him balanced - don't allow him to be fed by one biased news thread or political group. That will help.

Then try to show him that all these folk that he dislikes are all God's children too, and that we are called to love ALL of God's children!

This is going to be a tough ride as you are fighting the propaganda of your own government!

I pray that the Lord will strengthen you and guide you to say and show the right things in your life.

Pete

Hi JC9992,

i have a brother who is very rude and racist.
How old are you and your brother? I assume that he is a non-Christian?

He has always been somewhat rude but he has been racist for almost 3 years now and i dont know what to do.
Have you asked him why he is like this? And mention it to him that he wasn't like 3 years back, so why is he like it now?

He will say just about anything and constantly bashes and says mean things about people and is prejudice towards every race.
He has an offended heart, and probably he has seen the people who he knocks are getting things that he can't. So, there is a possible deep-down jealousy.

When i tell him about this he will usually laugh and say that he is not biased towards every race but does admit that he is racist.
Okay, so you have spoken to him, then ask him why he is biased to to other races?

Hes like this all the time and hasnt been showing a change in attitude.
When a person becomes angry, and isn't controlled, then it will turn into bitterness, then into resentfulness, and then into hatred. The next step is murder, and not that he will commit that, but he will be involved in character assasination.

Your brother has a broken-heart, and needs help.

Is he a Christian? Wonder who is included in "love one another" to him?

Someone said Amazing Grace was written by a former slave owner when he became saved.

Definitely pray.

Ok

So we have a young teen age boy who three years ago started to behave in a rude and racist fashion towards, in particular, asians.

Three years ago the USA and it allies (including the UK) decide to invade Iraq on the grounds of fighting terror! The propaganda machine moves into high gear and tells everyone that is listening (particularly those on the domestic front) that this war has to be fought to defeat that beast terror!

Who is the target of this war?

Well from the fact that Iraq is an Arab country, you'd think it was the Arab's that support terror, but no the message that comes across is that Muslims are the target! And what is the average US or UK citizens image of a Muslim? an Asian. Particularly young Asian males!

So lets put this together - we have a propaganda message that says Asian males are terrorists, and a young impressionable boy in the states suddenly turning racist!

Am I missing something here?

jc9992, you don't have to struggle to find the key to why your brother turned racist, what you need to do is expose the lies of the political propaganda machine and show him that these people are not ALL evil, any more than white youths are all bad!

Pete

jc9992 said:

my brothers in high school and we have been raised christian, although he is not very entusiastic about religion but thats another story.

For example if i tried to help him not be racist by using the bible or something he'd say "you bring up religion" or something along those lines.

I do agknowledge that there is a deep reason for him being so rude and I badly want him to get invloved in christianity.

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Sad as it is 992, but you can't have a prophet in the family. Family members won't listen to them.

You could say something to your brother which is genuine and full of wisdom and in love, and he will ignore it.

Then someone else will come along, a complete stranger and say exactly the same as you did, and your brother will probably fall over them with enthusiasm.

You need to be patient and selfcontrolled, and gentel to really dig down deep to find out exactly why he feels this way.

Keep digging.

jc9992 said:

my brothers in high school and we have been raised christian, although he is not very entusiastic about religion but thats another story.

For example if i tried to help him not be racist by using the bible or something he'd say "you bring up religion" or something along those lines.

I do agknowledge that there is a deep reason for him being so rude and I badly want him to get invloved in christianity.

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You can only pray that God starts to speak to him and that he becomes conscious of his sins. Religion can't help, only God can.

Ask him why he feels this way? He could be trying to get attention or he feels very bitter inside so he criticizes others to obtain a false feeling of security which makes him feel better about himself for a short period of time. Doing this really hurts him more than who he is criticizing. Yes, who is he hanging around?

Personally, if I had a brother who acted like this I would ignore his bad remarks and change the subject into something positive. Praying for him and being a light to him - is his hope.