How do I kiss this man goodbye?

Stella · Nov 2, 2002

Stuck Stuck Stuck, My heart is with Christ and maybe some of you know how hard it is for us when we find someone we like and fall in love with that isn't a christian, I am with this man and I have told him I am going back to church (because I have been away a while) and all I am getting is that I am using it as a shield or an excuse......

He has been my best friend for 8 years and he is in love with me too, I don't want to break his heart and have him think "Christianity must be an awful thing to take away the woman I love" but he just will not understand how passionate I am...

I don't want to be with a man that is not right in Gods eyes, I want to try and be as patient as possible again and wait for the true man that God has for me.

What do I do?, I am praying like mad for God to help me and I know He will, in His time....

 

waterwizard · Nov 2, 2002

Luke 14:26 -- (the words of Christ) "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple."

You must put Jesus first. If this man really loves you, he will follow eventually. Pray for him with all the Christian love you have. We will all pray for both of you.

Stella · Nov 2, 2002

I know that is right, I have tried to explain and I continue to do so. I pray for him, he feels I disregard him when I say that Jesus is my sanctuary and I hurt for him. That he cannot understand the all loving and the greatness that is God!

Sharky · Nov 2, 2002

There is a saying that goes around in my family.

"If that person doesn't like it, he can get stuffed!"

Ahem

, obviously it's not totally literal

. But it is referring to the same way we should avoid mixing in non christians alike. Pray for him (you let him come to you), don't mix with him (he lets you come to him).

Unless i'm wrong about your situation (oh btw i usually am

) that's a good start.

Drought · Nov 2, 2002

Waterwizard: Amazing advice! I think I have a new favorite Bible verse!

DeleseRose · Nov 2, 2002

wish i had some fool proof advise 4 u but i don't. whatever u decide 2 do, someone will b hurt. i suggest u should weigh the benefits and go from there. I do know that u know what 2 do, it's just hard 4 u 2 do it but the saying goes what does'nt kill u makes u strong. Good luck and GOD bless.

waterwizard · Nov 2, 2002

Originally posted by Drought
Waterwizard: Amazing advice! I think I have a new favorite Bible verse!

Thanks.  God put that on my heart the minute I read the post.  I hope it helps someone.

Praying

WW

KeepTheFaith15 · Nov 2, 2002

if anyone has told you that you cant be in love at my age it's a lie cause i fell in love at age 14 and guess what he wasnt a christian and i wasnt at the time i met him so it created a problem more a solution when i went to camp and got saved god really tugged at my heart and told me that i knew what i had to do and let him go, it was the hardest thing to do and we decided on being friends cause theres nothing wrong with that but it didnt work. and well to make a long story short we just finally called everything off about 5 days or so ago, it was very sad for me and made me really depressed but i mean god comes first even if you have to do something that is the hardest thing in the world to do you have to do it in order to not let it get in the way of yur relationship with god because in the long run thats the only relationship thats gonna count right? im not saying it's gonna be easy, try being friends and PRAY for him constantly....keep us updated. god bless.

Blessed-one · Nov 2, 2002

the others are right, keep praying and witnessing to him, if he loved you enough, he'll understand. Jesus is not the barrier, for his is the true sacrificial, unconditional love. Be patient and give it some time, you've still got many years ahead of you.

Stella · Nov 3, 2002

Thank you everyone, we were communicating last night and of course he did not understand but he said "lets be together anyway, you are the only woman I would consider marrying" but on the condition he may never accept God, a-ha! at a point of weakness did the enemy try and get me then JESUS I AM COMING HOME! He is hurting, and has even told me how inexcusable it is that I sacked him off for God, and that I know longer have a best friend

I was hurting, but I gained my best friend EVER! and that is Jesus, I spoke to him with soft words so that anger might not be stirred up (been reading proverbs last night and this morning) maybe this is just the smack in his face so to speak.....................

That he will question God, I gave him the Left Behind book and he illustrates what I have done to him like Leaving him behind, oh how I wish he could be one of those believers in the story after the rapture! I pray for him every moment now and ask God to heal him and bless him, to impress on him such an understanding that he is no longer angry with me.

For the first time in a while, I feel happy emotional and that my heart is at once settled.

I have been depressed for so long that it is hard to know if I am doing well but I thank God for this new day.

Thank you for being my backing everyone.

God bless

fieldmouse3 · Nov 3, 2002

Wow....that must have been so hard for you to do! Congratulations on being able to get through it. God is pretty good to have on your side, isn't He?

Kristine · Nov 3, 2002

I share your pain.  I'm going through the same thing right now (as a result I'm 'celebrating' my 24th B-day alone today - whoohoo!)

One thing I'd caution you... if he becomes a Christian in the near future, give him time to grow (be with him as a friend for a while) before getting back together with him.  My boyfriend made a flash conversion when I told him we couldn't be together, and two years later we've had to break up because he really wasn't showing much interest in spiritual growth.  Don't make the same mistake cause it feels good now, cause it'll just hurt a lot more later. 

I know it's hard.  I'm sitting here crying on my 'happy birthday' cause everything around me (especially hearing swing or country music on the radio or TV) reminds me of us and our times together. 

All I know is that God promises that those who leave mothers and fathers... (Luke 18:28-30) for His sake will receive way more in return... I imagine that blessing includes leaving boyfriends for Him too

Jesus bless,
Kristine

 

Sharky · Nov 3, 2002

Hey cool stella! It must be heaps hard for you to just leave him. Man, even a dude who is your best friend shouldn't go nuts about it but i guess i know how he feels. Maybe you should ask God for help. In a way, i bet God's got someone more interesting for you too.

Do the waiting game

.

Don't lose hope though, if he does become saved and like kristine said, let him grow first. Jesus told us about the 4 seeds, one grown on rocks, weeds, umm, the road i think (?) and good soil. He'll be fragile as seeds growing on rocks that are easily toppled so let him root down like seeds on good soil first.

Stella · Nov 3, 2002

He said "lets reverse the roles" would you give up christianity for his atheism? that is how selfish I am being apparently asking him to give up his belief. I so want him to share it what I have with God but he needs to do it on his own and if he does become a christian, I have invited him to church just now. He says he will never change but God is greater than change!!

Kristine, Do you know God has been to the depths with us! I got a word this morning at church that God has been int he dark places with us, there are eggshells all around which he is stepping on and he can see how vulnerable we are and how ready our hearts for Him. It is when we are truly broken God can use us!! and HE STANDS IN AWE OF US that we are trying to dust ourselves off and say "Yes lord you are my one true love, and I am ready just please be gentle with me" Kristine I'll pray for you girl HAPPY BIRTHDAY just getting my bible now hang on........

Psalm 18 vs 16 (Praise God I just opened my bible to this verse)

"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; He drew me out of deep waters He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes who were too strong for me. They confronted me in my day of disaster, bu the LORD WAS MY SUPPORT"

The LaRue song "Someday" I praise God for those words!! if any of you have heard it.

Gerry · Nov 3, 2002

I realize the two of you are not married. But according to what you opened with the both of you love each other! Yes? If that is the case you need to be sure you understand exactly what love is and where it comes from. There is much written on the subject in God's word. One that was written as instruction to married people also has an application for any in love.

I Corinthians 7:13: "And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him."

Verse 16: "For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?"

There is a way, in these cases for a believer to win the unbeliever. It is leading by example. In this event you simply demonstrate Christ in your life by standing firm on your Christian Principles, and refuse to take part in any "unchristian" activity. It is not by force but by eaxmple we win those.

Then, as further stated in this same group of Scriptures, if the unbeliever decides to depart, let him depart!

Gerry · Nov 3, 2002

Sorry Again! Another double post!

Stella · Nov 3, 2002

He has asked that we be friends praise God! I just needed this, and I will set by example and pray every day that God will touch his heart so deeply that he will no longer see religion but a true relationship with Jesus, he feels good that he has tried to compromise with me and yet I have done nothing and it is me stopping us from being together.

I will set by example, he does not understand why I cannot be with him then if he is WILLING to stay with me, to grow to love how God shapes me but not love God. I don't understand it either, because surely if I am a christian before marriage then I follow the scripture do not be unequally yoked, for what business have righteousness with unrighteousness etc

KeepTheFaith15 · Nov 3, 2002

go stella!
and Kristine i have a song for you "it's my birthday and i can cry if i want to cry if i want to cryyyy if i want to, you would cry to if it happened to you, dun dun dadadun." heehee we love you gals and were here through your tuff time *biiiiiiig hugs*

Gunny · Nov 3, 2002

Originally posted by Stella
because surely if I am a christian before marriage then I follow the scripture do not be unequally yoked, for what business have righteousness with unrighteousness etc

II CORINTHIANS 6:14
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

JAMES 1:5
5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

HEBREWS 4:12
12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Stella · Nov 3, 2002

Praise God we are friends! God has my heart though more so than ever, I will never let Him go again.

How do I kiss this man goodbye?

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a long journey ahead

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