Hi!
I have a problem with deliberately thinking the blasphemous thoughts (and then subsequently canceling it). I don't know if you've experienced this or if this is even part of the OCD disease. I don't also know if this is a mental compulsion or not.
Before, I deliberately think about the blasphemous thought then a canceling word after it, in order to pre-empt those bad thoughts so they would not come.
And now, for several days, I have a really, really bad anxiety, something like pressure building up that makes me to do the deliberate thoughts to tone down the anxiety. Sometimes, I have just an urge or something that makes me do it. In different times, I'm just compelled to do it. And lastly, in some days, it just feels that I have to do it.
So there - I deliberately think those thoughts - 1) renouncing God, and 2) blaspheming God (through curse words, etc.), of course, with canceling thoughts and without the will to do so - it just seems that I have to do it. I don't subscribe to these thoughts and don't want them.
I can't even distinguish between obsessions and these deliberate thoughts. In a lot of times I'm not able to cancel them, because a thought suddenly stops me from canceling them. What am I gonna do?
I can't stop deliberately thinking about these thoughts, yet at the same time, I don't even know if these are part of OCD. I feel that God is so angry at me. I feel completely hopeless now. Sometimes I even feel that it is me willfully wanting to do these things. I really don't know - it just feels like that - yesterday I felt so empty inside I really don't know what to do. Have you experienced something like this?
I have a problem with deliberately thinking the blasphemous thoughts (and then subsequently canceling it). I don't know if you've experienced this or if this is even part of the OCD disease. I don't also know if this is a mental compulsion or not.
Before, I deliberately think about the blasphemous thought then a canceling word after it, in order to pre-empt those bad thoughts so they would not come.
And now, for several days, I have a really, really bad anxiety, something like pressure building up that makes me to do the deliberate thoughts to tone down the anxiety. Sometimes, I have just an urge or something that makes me do it. In different times, I'm just compelled to do it. And lastly, in some days, it just feels that I have to do it.
So there - I deliberately think those thoughts - 1) renouncing God, and 2) blaspheming God (through curse words, etc.), of course, with canceling thoughts and without the will to do so - it just seems that I have to do it. I don't subscribe to these thoughts and don't want them.
I can't even distinguish between obsessions and these deliberate thoughts. In a lot of times I'm not able to cancel them, because a thought suddenly stops me from canceling them. What am I gonna do?
I can't stop deliberately thinking about these thoughts, yet at the same time, I don't even know if these are part of OCD. I feel that God is so angry at me. I feel completely hopeless now. Sometimes I even feel that it is me willfully wanting to do these things. I really don't know - it just feels like that - yesterday I felt so empty inside I really don't know what to do. Have you experienced something like this?
