Please pray for an endangered marriage

My brother told me today that he has fallen in love with someone he met online. They have never met in person but talk daily. He is seriously thinking of leaving his wife of 16 yrs.

I am in the situation of being his only counselor and confidant. I held it together while we talked for over an hour, but my heart is breaking for his wife and for his lostness.

It's a temptation to slip into anger at him and this woman (who is also married...and I suspect she's looking for someone to rescue her), but so far I've been able to speak truth to him and he's received it, and I would like to be able to continue to do so.

He has asked me not to tell anyone...but I need to ask someone for help, so I'm turning to all of you for your prayers. There is so much delusion at work here! His name is Steven Michael, he is not a Christian.

Lord have mercy.

ee

Thank you everyone. He plans to "get through Christmas" before doing anything...so this is my target time period to pray his heart is changed.

This morning he's apologized for dumping on me...but he's stuck with me now I sent him the stories of St Stephen and Archangel Michael and told him he can ask them for prayer. I'm contemplating asking him to church for Christmas (this will change our extended family celebration so it would be very unusual for me to press for this)...maybe I'm trying to hard but it seems to me there is a time for giving space and there is a time for being bold.

Thank you for letting me talk...I'm one of those verbal-processing folks.

BTW, my name is Julie. My SIL is Theresa.

Thank you for your prayers. Please keep praying if you would. I wrote the following in the divorce forum and decided to post it here too. Y'all have your work cut out for you :

(begin rant)
I've done what I can to listen and counsel him, honestly tell him what I'm seeing (he has been depressed, is vulnerable, and is running away from reality), discuss the consequences, and be loving.

But I'm upset. I don't want to hear about this new woman and I don't want to accept the situation. I'm not sure how to continue being "supportive" if my brother is going to do whatever he wants and expect me to accept whatever family dynamics he establishes because of his choices.

I don't want to trade my SIL whom I love, for some internet hussy who needs to be rescued from her "abusive husband". I thought we'd all grow old together, and my SIL is the sweetest one in the family. I don't want to lose her, and have to start building a relationship with someone new, whom I already resent.

I don't want my brother to hurt my SIL because he's being a selfish idiot, even though I know he is beyond lost right now and needs compassion. I don't want to give the compassion. I don't want his drama.

I don't want to embrace the new one and her children just because it's supposedly the tolerant thing to do to. My brother and SIL have struggled with infertility for years....I should say my SIL has struggled and my bro has acted like it doesn't matter one way or another. Now he's saying he would have liked to have kids but didn't want to show it to protect his wife. Now he thinks he wants to help raise the other one's children, have his own. Gee, is that why he has never shown much interest in my children all these years!? to protect himself or his wife's feelings? Do I get to be as distant and uninterested in whatever new children he drags along to Christmas as he has acted towards my children?

My brother and I have just been learning to be friends in the last 3-5 years or so...outgrowing the childhood differences, etc. I really don't want to lose the progress we've made, but I don't see how it can be avoided right now. I'm either going to express myself too personally (regarding some of these resentments I'm venting about here) and he will shut me out again, or I will quietly distance myself from his new situation because he's asking too much of us. He was already shocked that I said I would not give up a relationship with my SIL if she will continue to speak to me after he leaves. (Katya, I thought of your situation)

I'm sure we'll all adjust, but not in his time and the new reality won't look like he hopes it will.

As he digs in to do what he has determined to do, I feel myself digging in to resist-let him experience the consequences to the fullest extent. I'm not speaking of meanness or harshness, I'm speaking of honesty. Let him face the tears, the anger, the discomfort, the doubt. Do we all have to pretend about our feelings just so he won't feel bad and the new one won't feel like the thief she is?

I'm very much venting...and frankly I could get even sharper with my words. I'm doing it here so I won't vent to my husband. If you made it this far, thanks.