Hey everyone! This is my very first post, and thanks in advance for any insight you can give.
I'm an agnostic and my husband is a Christian. This has never been a problem for us, in fact, we like the ways we have influenced each other. But this is less about our relationship and more about the fact that we are expecting our first baby!
We both agree there are a lot of good reasons to go to church when you have a baby. I don't have any problem with church, I'm quite comfortable, and I donate money, so I feel like I'm doing some good and not just loitering around. The only thing is that churches seem so judgmental, and I don't want my child to be around that.
My husband wanted to go to his old Baptist church, and I wanted to go Unitarian.. I think we're compromising with a Methodist church, but I was reading their platform and it troubled me. For one thing, they don't allow homosexuals to serve the church in any function. I like the idea of church daycare, but I don't want my children to spend a lot of time in a place where they will be taught they are better than other people.
I want my child to be able to choose their religion freely when they're old enough to know what they're doing, not to be brainwashed. And I don't want them to learn about science and politics in church. There are lots of things I want them exposed to, but some not so great things I've seen in churches that I'd like to avoid.
Is there anyone here who's done this kind of thing, or just wants to weigh in? Does the Methodist church sound like it might be right for us? I really don't know that much about churches, and my husband has only ever been to Baptist churches. Thank you....
Hi, Congratulations on your going to have a baby.
There are very good churches out there. I've only gone to non denominational ones mainly so have little experience with denominational churches.
Non denoms have their own statement of faith, and while there may be 100 by the same non denomational type, they have the same statement of faith.
If you go to a church that is not political and does not single out specific sins, you still may run into people going there that do so on their own, so fairly unavoidable unless you are in a liberal church which doesn't believe or teach that sin is sin which is a lie, as the bible is very clear on sin. Not exhaustive, but covers plenty.
I would never attend a church that is political, though am thankful for movements that come through public means such as advocates or those in office, but to me the church is not quite the right place at all.
Christ didn't get into politics imo, said, give Ceasar what is Ceasars and God what is Gods.
Political churches have an agenda many times and the focus is not on Christ who saves us, but rather on issues, and when I go to church, I want to go to a Christ centered church.
Though again am thankful for those who stand up for certain issues but I would never go to a church that does so, if a political one I mean. Focus's on issues rather than on helping brothers and sisters and newcomers. I guess I'm talking about extreme political churches, but even if not extreme, still would nver go to a political church.
Doubt you'll find a church that doesn't get into science, such as teaching creation or having a sermon on it, except of the two you mentioned, the Unitarian church most likely will not teach creation.
If anyone teaches children they are better than others, than they are not well acquainted with scripture.
For God teaches us to be servant to all, and to be humble and much more and while everyone struggles with sin, those who feel superior have a problem, and can be found at any church or any place at all, even having nothing to do with church and having no belief in God. Is how some people are.
But that you say you don't want them taught that they are better shows you have prejudged what Christians are like, as tho there are those who do so, all christians are different and all churches are different.
And again, any Christian acts like their better, has a spiritual problem.
So, because someone says they believe homosexuality to be a sin (which it is, as is all sexual immorality), does not mean they think they are better than another.
Rather it is the truth. I don't say such unless asked if is a sin and then explain that all sin is sin, one is not worse than the other as pertains to eternity, as it's belief in Christ that brings salvation and forgiveness for sins, present past and future.
I stated it here as you brought up the topic, so felt needed to tell you, majority knows sexual sin is sin. But have never been to a church preaches particular sins. As sin is sin.
A liberal church would teach otherwise more than likely.
But again, singling out a specific sin is rather wrong, imo, and some Christians do so due to a scripture that says certain sins done by those, they will not go to heaven.
These same Christians don't realize there are several lists saying such and such won't inherit heaven, and they are on it, as we all are on the bit that lists those with certain sins won't go to heaven.
Many don't even know they are on the list, as they don't look in their heart, or in the mirror t know we all are one or other of those lists. But between the lists given every human is on it.
They neglect to take the New Testament in it's whole context. So that is where part of the problem lies. Belief in Christ saves us, and all Christians are saved and can not lose their salvation, but we still sin.
The point of talking about sin is that it is going to be heard about in church, unless liberal and depending how liberal.
Your child won't be brainwashed unless someone straps them in a chair and forces them not to think for themselves, which unless torture occurs is not going to happen or if you go to a church which is a cult, where brainwashing does occur, and those are out and out cults.
My mother raised us with no morals; I was not brainwashed, I made my own choices when I was an adult, and younger.
I'd rather have been raised in a christian family really, but who knows what I would have done and what choices I would make had I been raised in a Christian family. Such brings no guarantees to no one that their child will be a Christian if raised in a Christian family.
We all make our own choices.
Churches are not judgemental, people are. And you can find a church that is judgemental and you would probably not want to go there.
I've never been to a judgemental 'church', but have always run into judgemental people. Exists everywhere, christian or non Christian.
You may say you have no values which are christian per se (just an example), but you have values which are your values while it just may be in your mind and not spoken, you also are judgemental as you believe your values should be upheld, whatever they may be.
Such as you said about homosexuals. That is just as judgmental as those saying shouldn't serve in the church.
So, we all have values but many and often times, people say it's Christians who are judgemental, while non Christians fail to see they are just as judgemental and may say, you are trying to force your beliefs on us non christians, when on the other hand, non christians it can be said are trying to force their beliefs on some Christians as well.
Bible clearly says who should hold office in a church and and it's a husband of one wife and more as pertains to that, hence why such is taught or practiced in churches that do so.
Is not judgemental to Christians who hold to that, as is what is in the bible to be done. But to those who differ on that is said it's judgemental. Some Christians do not hold to that teaching as well; consider it judgemental.
I'm just trying in this post to give you a lot of information to fill in maybe things you may not be aware of.
There is a forum on this site, it's a liberal congregation. I'll give you that link and they may help as they may know what denominations or congregations might be a good fit for both of you.
One last note, a child who is raised a christian is not forced to be a Christian. No one can force someone to believe something they don't believe, again unless tortured or in a cult.
You said you want your child to choose their religion freely when they are old enough, not to be brainwashed.
Any child and every child that grows up no matter what they are raised in freely chooses their own religion, unless they are in a country where persecution occurs, or if they are raised with threats and fear, etc, which does occur in many places and even in america. Even so there are many who closet what they truly believe, as is not safe to speak it.
They may be raised in one faith, and grow up and later change to a different faith.
Often times many don't think much about things such as all that is in the world till late 20s sometimes.
Some are in tune to the way of the world and the choices out there much younger as well.
Anyway, whatever church you go to, would need a healthy church, one that does not use fear, condemnation preaching, or guilt tactics. There's all manners of churches out there.
But there are very good churches as well. Healthy churches, but if Christian your child will learn things you may not want them to learn, depending on the church.
So, here's the congregation link on this site, which might help you more. Called whosoever will, may come liberal at this link:
http://foru.ms/f401-whosoever-will-may-come-liberal.html
This will be a congregation that is non judgmental to my knowledge and may help you.
Sorry for the long post; just want to make you aware of things and show you that perhaps you prejudge Christians or churches and have your own beliefs, which might be judgemental to another, but because you hold it you don't see it as such.
Every christian is differnt and unique as are non christians, and every church is different and unique.
Every human being has values or morals they strongly hold, but it they aren't 'religious' they tend to call those who have a faith judgmental, when in actuality works both ways.
eeks, i went way long on this, and way off topic, you are sincereley seeking help and i felt to write as I did, I hope you don't mind.
take care,
