Please tell me the point of living?

If I were you I would try to get a real easy job that is no stress like being a bagger at a grocery store. Unless you are an older person and actually need to make a living. But you could work as a bagger learn about computers, and possibly get hired as a computer programmer or a comuter science teacher at a high school. Or learn mathematics and teach it at a high school.

You can go to the unemployment center and talk to them about maybe quitting your job and collecting unemployment if they actually have that, usually you can't collect it if you quit but if there making fun of you like kindergartner's then maybe that is excuse enough for the unemployment place to give you a check until you find work that is real easy to do.

I hope your grandmother get's better, try to ignore what you can.

Also, I just realized you said you had a suicidal thought, there s medicine that can stop that, but if it only acts up every now and then, you might be able to skip a trip to the doctor.

Hang in there, you hav to believe life is worth living. Your probably a healthy young woman with your whole life ahead of you. There are plenty of reasons to live on our wonderful planet right when the scientific break throughs and discoveries are getting really cool. Stick around and see what happens next.

Will Jihad ever end? Will America have health insurance for all it's citizens? Will America have it's first woman president? Will the Iraq civil war end eight years from now or eighteen years from now?

Will you get an education, and be a teacher? Find something to care about and stick around for.

Try to survive it is worth it. You got to see what will happen next. Will Florida be under water fifty years from now?

If I find one, I'll let you know.

I'll assume you're somewhere in Europe, given statements and phrases you used. That being said, I know nothing of what occurs regarding finances and such there.

I wish i could give you a huge hug right now. unfortunately is the best i can manage.

I agree with thomas, changing jobs could well be a step in the right direction. you don't deserve to be treated like this. Work can be a great thing to look forward to on your bad days, but when its a negative place thats causing you stress it strips away that thing to hold onto. If you felt up to it you could talk to your manager/boss about what's going on? If you didn't feel up to face to face you could email him and give him an idea? I'm assuming there is some policy at your work about this kind of behaviour.

I can't answer your questions about your mother. I ask them about mine every day.

You didn't deserve the rejection you've had from her, especially when you opened up to her like that. I can only imagine how painful that is for you. God will never hurt you like that when you open up to him. He's the parent that never stops loving, that never hurts you. He wants to take you in his arms and keep you safe.

Hold onto life, look for the small things to hold onto. Even if it's just waking up and logging on here, it's something. And you do mean a lot to many people on here.

If you want to chat, my inbox is open to you.

I am from the U.S.

You used the term rubbish, are you from England, which is part of Europe you know.

So where are you from?

Are you getting worried about having suicidal thoughts? What you described is called a passive suicidal thought, that life isn't worth living, that maybe you'd be better off dead. These thoughts are common, many people have them.

Suicidal thoughts become a problem when they become active, that is when you decide on a plan, a way to make it happen. At which point you do need to go and see your doctor and maybe take some anti-depressants if you aren't already.

People who drink alcohol have no inhibitions, I think you probably know this already - they say and do things that hurt other people because the mechanisms in their brains that would normally stop them is fuzzed by the drink. This must be very hard for you especially after to tried to confide in your mum. Sometimes our families aren't the best people to talk to about the things that are worrying us. Do you have some good friends that you can share with? Especially given how you see your relationship with your parents.

In the bible it says that even though our father and mother reject us God never will. You are one of his special children, he loved you from the first moment you were created.

Your mum has let you down, she's human and from what you say has problems with alcohol. Dont let these experiences put you off life. You said that you are having counselling, this can also make people more depressed before they begin to feel better. The depression will lift, just give yourself time, try and surround yourself by people you know will help you through, and be kind to yourself for a while.

Catrin xx

Please seek help. Someone you can trust to help you deal with your mother's drinking, with your feelings of low self esteem, and so on. A counselor, a therapist, a friend ... I hope there is someone you can trust to support you. There are also meetings for family of alcoholics. Perhaps attending an alanon (I think that's right) meeting could help?

Hugs and good luck to you!

don't give up. There is so much in life to enjoy, and whilst you may not see that at the moment it will be there when you get through the other side of this dark patch.

ill be praying for you.

Big big 's to you sis!!!

I can relate being the only saved person in my family. To be mocked both at work and home is not so hot at all.

As someone else mentioned see if you can find another job to eliminate that trigger.

Know also that you are a precious daughter of God and the mean things said to you is one of the tactics of the enemy to take your focus away from the Lord. Weak minded (no disrespect meant to your parents but speaking spiritually) people can more easily be used by the enemy to crush a believer's joy in the Lord. Each time someone says something mean to you take it to the Lord, speak with Him and let Him know how it made you feel. Then immediately afterwards ask the Lord to remove the pain from your heart. Continue to do this even when you least feel like this. By doing so, each tear is caught by the Lord and He'll act on it.

Flee to the Lord in your quiet times to silence the enemy's prompts to have you take your life. Declare out loud (I know this sounds daft but it worked for me when I'd hit the all time low earlier this year) that your life belongs to the Lord and is not yours to take. Say out loud that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, and that the Lord promised you that He'll never leave you nor forsake you. Especially say them when you least feel like it or when your at your lowest and continue to say it when you feel stronger. You are essentially silencing the principalities by using the truth of God's Word.

You have been carefully and wonderfully made by the Lord and He has great plans for you...

The enemy sees this which is where you're being attacked from all sides (work and home).

Stay strong in and close to the Lord sis, for when we are weak, this is when Christ is strong

For advice you get what you pay for, if you don't pay I mean it usually is unreliable.

If you want to please send me an e-mail.

Sincerely,

Thomas

smilingheart said:

Hi there,

I wanted to thank everyone for your kind words. It seems as if everything is falling apart for me. Now on online friend of mine that I have known the longest is ditching me, she cant understand me when in the past she said that she did. I tried to appologize for being down, and I can only hope that God will listen. But you all are so kind to take the time out to talk to me about this. Thank you!!!!

Click to expand...

I know it's tough losing a friend. Wish I could find some words of advice for you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
BTW, I think I may be an avoidant too. I know I have some kind of social anxiety disorder -- it's really hard for me to make friends because I have a hard time getting my feelings across.
Feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to.

smilingheart said:

Hi there,

I wanted to thank everyone for your kind words. It seems as if everything is falling apart for me. Now on online friend of mine that I have known the longest is ditching me, she cant understand me when in the past she said that she did. I tried to appologize for being down, and I can only hope that God will listen. But you all are so kind to take the time out to talk to me about this. Thank you!!!!

Click to expand...

Pm me if ever you need to offload, sis 's

*Hugs* Hun


What these people are saying is right.. you have a PM from me

Sometimes people like to find someone to unload on which is sad but true. It has nothing to do with your worth as a person. It is THEIR problems & issues.

Jesus loves you so much that He suffered rejection & earthly pain we will never experience. He did this for you

& I know what it is to loose friends bcause of SAD. I suppose I really don't have any that I talk to that often.
I'll be your friend along with many others here. I think you seem like such a lovely person. Hang on sis. We endure the night but God promises us joy comes in the morning.

*Both of you ladies have my admiration. It isn't easy to be the only Christian & have your family mock the Lord & you. Try to remember it is the devil only trying to get at you, bcause he knows you know the truth. he is petrified that you will pray & love your family to Christ. So he is the one on the run...not ya'll.
There are rich blessings waiting for you both

smilingheart said:

I am getting mocked at at work, you know, the kinda mocking that one got in grade school, yep that is me, I have gotten that ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of my life....
OH and my mother thinks that I am RUBBISH!!!!!!!!! Here is the story about that:
My mother told me 6 weeks ago that she had stopped the booze and was seeing a doctor for help for the first time ever. Well tonight I found out that she had relapsed and I found out the hard way. See she has been opening up to me A LOT and i felt that I could open up to her about some of my problems. She mocked me and was very sarcastic to me and very insensitive. I got upset with her and told her how upsetting my problems were to me and I confided in her something that I would have said to God, and that was that I felt so depressed bout how I was being treated at work that I wanted to take my life a couple of days ago, what did she do...threw the phone at my father like I was riff raff, my father told me that she did NOTHING wrong that I needed to appologize...my parents make fun of Christians, they call us "Jesus Freaks". I know that my mother thinks of me as riff raff.
So, there you have it, WHY should I live...I get mocked at work and my mother wants me dead I am sure....by her actions that is...I beg God to take me... SO folks my heart is NOT smiling now..it is FAR from that!!!!!
I AM SICK OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mother made me, why did she in first place If she hates me so much????
I am tired of being rubbish to almost everyone....my job (the two women that most people like there cause they were alot of makeup like Hollywood ... I dont) and my mother..I have even tried to talk to my counselor about this going on at work...felt a wee bit better until this episode with my mother that happened tonight! How can a mother think that their off spring is rubbish, I mean I DID NOT ask to be brought into this world especially by someone who hates me.

Sorry for rant but I cant take much more of being treated like rubbish at work and rubbish by my own mother and a father who won't see it.

Click to expand...

Bit broken myself, as I move into my next transition. I didn't want to post anymore, but I can't ignore this.

Good that you ranted and got it out of your system. Expression is healthy.

Life is rich and full of wonder... problem always being is fear. That need for comfort and someone to tell us that "It will be ok." That as long as we have control then we are living. The truth is really we are just existing. We are afraid to take what is rightfully ours... our dreams.

Depression in it's every form is simply a soul who has lost his/her future or has no purpose. Depression is that deep utter pain inside that says "I am all alone.".

Truth is we are not alone and we do have a future. Only reason we feel as we do is because our desparate hunger for control, our fear, denies us the very thing we need to live. We seek help from others who they themselves need the same help even more so.

Great Father is watching us, Lord dwells within our hearts. Where imperfect beings drowning in the sorrow of their sins fail you, realize that perfect savior is no farther than your very thoughts. Even I forget this time to time, for I so desparately crave that human interaction. Even now I am being broken to be reminded that I am not alone.

Don't put your hope and future into people around you. Put it where it belongs, in the hands of the Lord. So he can deliver the message of your dreams to the Great Father. Lean on him, even in times of great sadness. Remember that everything is ok, we just think it isn't. We create our own drama rather than do what is needed to solve our problems.

Also learn who your enemies are.

Good and evil in all things.

Words can bring life or death to a person.

Inside our very minds is a logical part of our brains. It does not like what it doesn't understand or can't control. What you BELIEVE become part of it's logic. So in essance if someone told you that you are useless or an idiot. After a while your mind begins to believe that. So it thinks that you are logically an idiot or useless. This is not true, just evil that was fed to you by others. Use POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS to defeat that evil in your mind.

Spend some time and try different things, pick up some of Julia Cameron's books. She will help you do a creative recovery, and help you refind your dreams. And your sense of self.

Begin to write first thing in the morning, after your prayers. Click here for "Power of Morning Pages". Writing whatever comes to mind will help you sift thru the mess in your mind. It will paint a picture of your concious, and help you digest your thoughts better. It has helped me immencely and can help you open the door to your creative mind. When you are feeling down or have something heavy on your mind. WRITE, show up to the page with a pen and write whatever comes to your mind.

Realize the truth, you are a unique and wonderful child of God. He put a divine plan within you, and you need to uncover it. You will have set of strengths and weaknesses. Do not let the weaknesses define you, but let your strengths give you wings to fly. Find out what you love to do, and pursue it with all your heart.

First of all here's a hug

I don't really have time to make a full reply now (I'm at work) but I'll respond better later

Reading so of Charles Spurgeon's sermons really helped me when I was suffering especially "Consolation" (click it ). I hope it will help you too

I have some verses that I hope will bring you comfort

Matthew 5:10
Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when men revile you, and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely, on account of Me. Rejoice, and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

John 15:18-23

If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you, "A slave is not greater than his master." If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also. But all these things they will do to you for My namesake, because they do not know the One who sent Me. If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin. He who hates Me hates My Father also.

1 Peter 3:3-9
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 3:8-18
8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For,
"Whoever would love life
and see good days
must keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from deceitful speech.
11 He must turn from evil and do good;
he must seek peace and pursue it.
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer,
but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil."
13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened." 15 But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18 For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God.

James 1:2-4
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I'll post more later

Hello smilingheart (pretty name )

What you need to do sweetie is use the Authority inside of you (Jesus Christ). Plead the redempted blood of Jesus Christ over your entire house, yourself, belongings, pets, all the people inside your home (father, mother and whom ever else lives there) and watch the power of Christ work from inside of you!

Believe and you will receive.

Peace be with you sister

KRINZ

smilingheart said:

I am getting mocked at at work, you know, the kinda mocking that one got in grade school, yep that is me, I have gotten that ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of my life....
OH and my mother thinks that I am RUBBISH!!!!!!!!! Here is the story about that:
My mother told me 6 weeks ago that she had stopped the booze and was seeing a doctor for help for the first time ever. Well tonight I found out that she had relapsed and I found out the hard way. See she has been opening up to me A LOT and i felt that I could open up to her about some of my problems. She mocked me and was very sarcastic to me and very insensitive. I got upset with her and told her how upsetting my problems were to me and I confided in her something that I would have said to God, and that was that I felt so depressed bout how I was being treated at work that I wanted to take my life a couple of days ago, what did she do...threw the phone at my father like I was riff raff, my father told me that she did NOTHING wrong that I needed to appologize...my parents make fun of Christians, they call us "Jesus Freaks". I know that my mother thinks of me as riff raff.
So, there you have it, WHY should I live...I get mocked at work and my mother wants me dead I am sure....by her actions that is...I beg God to take me... SO folks my heart is NOT smiling now..it is FAR from that!!!!!
I AM SICK OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mother made me, why did she in first place If she hates me so much????
I am tired of being rubbish to almost everyone....my job (the two women that most people like there cause they were alot of makeup like Hollywood ... I dont) and my mother..I have even tried to talk to my counselor about this going on at work...felt a wee bit better until this episode with my mother that happened tonight! How can a mother think that their off spring is rubbish, I mean I DID NOT ask to be brought into this world especially by someone who hates me.

Sorry for rant but I cant take much more of being treated like rubbish at work and rubbish by my own mother and a father who won't see it.

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