OCD Questionarre

gracealone · Oct 4, 2007

Hi All,
In response to everyone's encouragement to go ahead and work on the OCD book I've been working out subjects for chapters. I thought, as did some others on our forum, that it would be good idea to have a section that includes some input from all of you about how OCD has impacted your lives. I believe it could be of benefit to the readers to show that: a. People afflicted with OCD share common symptoms, b. OCD is most often a genetically inherited disorder, c. in light of the last two observations, this disorder is not a chosen behavior but a biological affliction, d. ascribing blame to the sufferer of OCD for their disorder is wrong as well as harmful, and e. Although the disorder creates a sense of lonely suffering within an individual, they will be able to see by the responses to this questionarre that they are not alone.
Respond to the questions only if you are comfortable doing so and do not feel that you have to respond to all of them. Everyones identity will be protected as I will not use screen names or real names in the body of this writing. A huge, thank you, to any of you who decide to participate in this effort. Your willingness to open up about your disorder in order to encourage others is a compassionate as well as courageous thing.
1. Are you afflicted by any of the following anxiety disorders other than OCD? (check all that apply)
a. Panic Disorder/Panic attacks
b. Generalized anxiety disorder
c. Social anxiety disorder
d. Agoraphobia
e. Specific Phobia's

2. By your estimate, how many years had you lived with OCD prior to diagnosis?

3. Are you aware of any other immediate/extended family members who have anxiety disorders? (How many and what relation to you)

4. What form of OCD do you have?
a. OCD with outward rituals and compulsive behaviors.
b. Pure "O" OCD (where the compulsive activity involves mental rumination)
c. Both

5. As you reflect on your childhood are you able to identify any behaviors that you can link to your OCD? If yes - please give several examples.

6. Do you find that your OCD can wax and wane with periods of remission as well as periods where it is very active? If yes, can you relate an increase in your stress level as a precursor to a flare of the OCD?

7. When your OCD is active how would you rate it's negative impact on your day to day living?
a. mild impact
b. moderate impact
c. severe impact

8. Are there activities that are normally a part of your daily life which your OCD has has caused you to avoid? If yes - give an example and explain why you would avoid that activity.

9. How would you compare the suffering associated with OCD to the suffering of other types of afflictions such as physical illness or injury? Check the one that applies.
a. I find the suffering of my OCD harder to endure.
b. I find the suffering of other illnesses harder to endure.

10. Do you agree that the use of medication to treat OCD is at times very necessary? Please explain why.
Yes
NO

11. Do you believe that psychotherapy such as exposure/response is a vital part of treating OCD?
Please explain why.
Yes
NO

12. Do you now or have you ever in the past blamed yourself for your OCD? Please explain why.
Yes
No

13. If you have opened up to others about your OCD have you ever had any one ascribe blame to you for your OCD? If yes - what type of impact did this have on the disorder?
Yes
No

14. Do you feel free to share about your OCD within your Christian community? Please explain why.
Yes
No

15. If you are a Christian and believe that God often uses trials to mold and shape you for His Kingdom purposes, how do you think your affliction of OCD could possibly be used in this way?

Jayangel81 · Oct 4, 2007

1. Are you afflicted by any of the following anxiety disorders other than OCD? (check all that apply)
a. Panic Disorder/Panic attacks-very little do i get into panic modes
b. Generalized anxiety disorder -yes
c. Social anxiety disorder- yes
d. Agoraphobia
e. Specific Phobia's- yes

2. By your estimate, how many years had you lived with OCD prior to diagnosis? about 2 years

3. Are you aware of any other immediate/extended family members who have anxiety disorders? (How many and what relation to you) my mom and sisters have anxiety but i doubt to my extent

4. What form of OCD do you have? i have religious OCD
a. OCD with outward rituals and compulsive behaviors. yes em i can get pretty compulsive
b. Pure "O" OCD (where the compulsive activity involves mental rumination)
c. Both

5. As you reflect on your childhood are you able to identify any behaviors that you can link to your OCD? If yes - please give several examples. not at this time, i used to be upsessed about losing a friend/girlfriend but that was the extent of it

6. Do you find that your OCD can wax and wane with periods of remission as well as periods where it is very active? If yes, can you relate an increase in your stress level as a precursor to a flare of the OCD?

7. When your OCD is active how would you rate it's negative impact on your day to day living?
a. mild impact
b. moderate impact
c. severe impact - My OCD gets to severe but ive been lucky latly

8. Are there activities that are normally a part of your daily life which your OCD has has caused you to avoid? If yes - give an example and explain why you would avoid that activity.-

9. How would you compare the suffering associated with OCD to the suffering of other types of afflictions such as physical illness or injury? Check the one that applies.
a. I find the suffering of my OCD harder to endure. - <check>
b. I find the suffering of other illnesses harder to endure.

10. Do you agree that the use of medication to treat OCD is at times very necessary? Please explain why.
Yes - i beleive Yes! If im not mistaken its a chemical imbalance in youre head(from what ive been told) altho i have never been able to find a medicine for it to help i know with other people it can be treated.
NO

11. Do you believe that psychotherapy such as exposure/response is a vital part of treating OCD?
Please explain why.
Yes - im not gonna say yes or no, some people say its a good thing my psycotherapest at the time said it was a bad idea for me.
NO

12. Do you now or have you ever in the past blamed yourself for your OCD? Please explain why.
Yes- I always beleived it was me yet a part was telling me its not, to this day i still at times blame myself, mainly because its in MY thoughts and it sickens me that i have no control over it...
No

13. If you have opened up to others about your OCD have you ever had any one ascribe blame to you for your OCD? If yes - what type of impact did this have on the disorder?
Yes- the few people (i thought they were friends) outside my family they thought i was pretty nuts and they were really afraid to be around me

So i must keep it to myself..
No

14. Do you feel free to share about your OCD within your Christian community? Please explain why.
Yes- Yes, if anyone u guys know what im going thru

No

15. If you are a Christian and believe that God often uses trials to mold and shape you for His Kingdom purposes, how do you think your affliction of OCD could possibly be used in this way? I dont know what kind of purpose per say my OCD has to do with His Kingdom all i know is i thank God for these afflictions, I have a deeper relationship with Him and a more sincere love for Him which grows by the day. Praise the Lord!! :bow:

Well i hope by answering some of these questions they have helped a little if there are anymiore questions feel free to PM me.

God Bless!

kimba · Oct 4, 2007

GA I have no clue how to cut and paste but will answer your questions

1 Diagnosed with GAD , have some panic attacks, am wondering lately about 1 phobia but it is not seeming severe.

2 always

3 possibly my mom but she won't say too much. My brother takes Paxil for depression, and has said he struggles with anxiety. To what extent I am unsure.

4 pure O (PTL) violent images and thoughts - usually about me

5 the only thing I remember outside of excessive worrying and sensitivity is thinking "something awful is going to happen if I don't count to 5 right now" but then I would purposely not let myself count...

6 yes I was not diagnosed until 2004 but had had bizarre thoughts in the past. I have had literally years of not having any, but in 2004 my daughter went away to college and for the first time I was diagnosed and medicated. It has basically been flaring since then. I am also 45 - don't know if some of it is perimenopausal, though my ob/gyn says I am not there yet.

7 moderate - I had to cancel a trip on friday due to a migraine and panic but that is the first time that I have had to do that. I sometimes get panicy at night, cry and then obsess about being crazy so sometimes I don't function well at home. I am able to work full time and have never had to leave work or call in sick, though my coworkers are very supportive if I am obsessing.

8 only that one trip

9 a due to the fact that I constantly wonder if I am crazy

10 yes - I also have not had too much luck so far with SSRIs but I do take Xanax. I am trying Paxil now. I know this is a physical thing, so meds are fabulous.

11 I like my therapy because she helps me to see I am not crazy, helps me manage meds, and gives me some tools in dealing with the thoughts. I find it quite helpful.

12 no not really. I use my tool that says "that thought doesn't mean anything". I used to beat myself up for the anxiety because of that verse "be anxious for nothing" now I try to use what tools I have learned or get busy doing something else to get out of the downward spiral.

13 I tell everyone everything so everyone I know knows about my OCD and panic etc. I have only had one "super" Christian get down on me about trying meds. EVERYONE else has been loving and supportive, PTL

14 yes very much so. I have 4 close best friends that I email when I am having a bad day and I know they pray for me.

15 I don't "hear" God speaking to me very often, but I feel very strongly that He told me a few weeks ago that my mental health stuff keeps me closer to Him. I ask Him every day to heal me and I will continue to do so. However, I know I am in the Word a lot and praying a lot due to my mental health stuff. It has also brought my husband and me closer as he is my ROCK and will always be there for me. He reads the Bible to me if I am freaking out and is the voice of reason at all times.

glad to help God Bless You

gracechick · Oct 4, 2007

gracealone said:
Hi All,
In response to everyone's encouragement to go ahead and work on the OCD book I've been working out subjects for chapters. I thought, as did some others on our forum, that it would be good idea to have a section that includes some input from all of you about how OCD has impacted your lives. I believe it could be of benefit to the readers to show that: a. People afflicted with OCD share common symptoms, b. OCD is most often a genetically inherited disorder, c. in light of the last two observations, this disorder is not a chosen behavior but a biological affliction, d. ascribing blame to the sufferer of OCD for their disorder is wrong as well as harmful, and e. Although the disorder creates a sense of lonely suffering within an individual, they will be able to see by the responses to this questionarre that they are not alone.
Respond to the questions only if you are comfortable doing so and do not feel that you have to respond to all of them. Everyones identity will be protected as I will not use screen names or real names in the body of this writing. A huge, thank you, to any of you who decide to participate in this effort. Your willingness to open up about your disorder in order to encourage others is a compassionate as well as courageous thing.
1. Are you afflicted by any of the following anxiety disorders other than OCD? (check all that apply)
a. Panic Disorder/Panic attacks
b. Generalized anxiety disorder-Yes
c. Social anxiety disorder-Yes
d. Agoraphobia-Yes
e. Specific Phobia's-Sometimes simply touch. I can get so anxious over such interaction.

2. By your estimate, how many years had you lived with OCD prior to diagnosis?

I would say about twenty years.

3. Are you aware of any other immediate/extended family members who have anxiety disorders? (How many and what relation to you)

Parent, cousins, sister with moderate, grandmother, great uncle show signs, but am unsure who may have been diagnosed.

4. What form of OCD do you have?
Both I would say, but technical diagnoses are SAD, ADD, Panic Attacks

5. As you reflect on your childhood are you able to identify any behaviors that you can link to your OCD? If yes

I have some tics like swallowing. My throat gets so sore & sometimes the pressure builds till I get migraines.

I would go over & over in mind every word & subject of conversations to decide if I said the right thing or I somehow offended the other person.
I also felt like I simply had to make people like me.

6. Do you find that your OCD can wax and wane with periods of remission as well as periods where it is very active? If yes, can you relate an increase in your stress level as a precursor to a flare of the OCD?

Yes I see stress influences the rumination & anxiety.
I did actually feel better I believe when pregnant, bcause the hormonal changes that occur during gestation. Some women report they feel better I've read. While others symptoms remain stable of worsen.

7. When your OCD is active how would you rate it's negative impact on your day to day living?

moderate impact to severe.

8. Are there activities that are normally a part of your daily life which your OCD has has caused you to avoid? If yes - give an example and explain why you would avoid that activity.

Yes. Social avoidance, bcause I don't have to stress about whether people are talking about me or find me acceptable.
I'm such a perfectionist that I would question my work & worry that this or that would result if I did any of it wrong.

9. How would you compare the suffering associated with OCD to the suffering of other types of afflictions such as physical illness or injury? Check the one that applies.

I find the suffering of my OCD harder to endure. Bcause other "normal" people understand Cancer, a surgery or broken limb. Many people seem to not wantto dwell on the fact that the brain may suffer from the same curse of illness as any other part of the body.

10. Do you agree that the use of medication to treat OCD is at times very necessary? Please explain why.

Yes. When the quality of life is affected so adversly I believe medication is a gift from God. I have migraines, but I don't believe I should suffer & wait on God for mirculous healing each time. Medicine I believe is One of the ways He works in our world. & for that I'm thankful.
I did have a therpist tell me we only use drugs as a last resort. So it increased my fear of taking medication which I was dead set against for many years, but have thankfully found some relief.

11. Do you believe that psychotherapy such as exposure/response is a vital part of treating OCD?
Please explain why.

Yes. I believe we need to retrain the brain from its' unhealthy rumination & looping to proper thought process & undestanding. & that takes a knowledgable & caring support person who works with you & doesn't constantly question & wonder about OCD symptoms.

12. Do you now or have you ever in the past blamed yourself for your OCD? Please explain why.

Yes. I often think that it is my fault I have this disorder. As illogical as it may seem.
My sisters function fine in their profession while I am a stay at home mom which I might add doesn't pay well in the dollars & cents category.

13. If you have opened up to others about your OCD have you ever had any one ascribe blame to you for your OCD? If yes - what type of impact did this have on the disorder?

Yes. In a way. Their attitude was those are just silly nonsensical thoughts. You need to take control of your mind & get over it. Everyone has odd thoughts once in a while.

14. Do you feel free to share about your OCD within your Christian community? Please explain why.

No. Bcause one may be viewed as less of a Christian IMHO. Many believers seem to have that it's a pull yourself up by the bootstraps & get over it mentality. Or you've been prayed for & annointed with oil & just keep quoting this scripture. Bam. Problem solved.

15. If you are a Christian and believe that God often uses trials to mold and shape you for His Kingdom purposes, how do you think your affliction of OCD could possibly be used in this way?

I know it has brought me closer to Him, bcause I rely so much on the Lord to get me out of bed & through the day.
I also am seeking to learn what ways I may turn to Him for healing & find release from the grip of OCD.

Wow this has helped already. I too get panicky that I must be crazy...

Liftyourhand7 · Oct 5, 2007

Hi Mitzi,

1. Sometimes panic attacks
2.20+ years
3. One of my daughters shows signs of it.
4.Mostly Pure "O" but I do have an excessive shopping problem.
5.In my later teens when I began driving I would constantly go back and check and make sure I did not run over someone or hurt anyone.
6.Almost anything stressful sets me off, it is worse however, when someone close to me dies or is ill. Also when anything physically happenes to me (illness an such that seems to make OCD worse).
7.Moderate
8.Not usually, I have learned to just force myself to get up and do things no matter what the situation. I
9. I find the suffering of OCD harder to deal with.
10.Because I have never been on medication for OCD I don't know exactly how to answer that, I do believe God gives us medications and Doctors to help us through many things and I do believe mental illness is one of those things, and I am truly grateful for DOctors and meds.
11.Yes. I believe that getting the right person to help you is essential to our well being, we do need loving caring and professional help.

12.Yes. I at one time thought I just did not have enough faith in God and that my thoughts were really who I was, I now realize how false that was, faith has nothing to do with feelings.
13.Yes, once again people would say you do not have enough faith or like many others here on this forum have people say to them just get over it, everyone has bad thoughts from time to time.
14.Yes, I do now because I understand the disorder so much better now, I wish someone many years ago would have opened up to me and told me about their OCD maybe I would of not spent so many years suffering with a disorder that I thought was a spiritual problem.
15.I think that if I would of not suffered from OCD that I would of become very proud and maybe arrogant in my christian walk, God has used OCD, as painful as it is, to keep me close to him and I have so much compassion for anyone with any kind of disorder or illness.

amishparadise · Oct 5, 2007

1. Are you afflicted by any of the following anxiety disorders other than OCD? (check all that apply)
None of the above

2. By your estimate, how many years had you lived with OCD prior to diagnosis?
at least 20 years

3. Are you aware of any other immediate/extended family members who have anxiety disorders? (How many and what relation to you)
many relatives have milder symptoms...nobody else clinically dx'ed

4. What form of OCD do you have?
c. Both

5. As you reflect on your childhood are you able to identify any behaviors that you can link to your OCD? If yes - please give several examples.

asking repetitive questions, compulsively tattling on other little kids I knew (later blew up into full-out scrupulosity), blinking, biting nails until they bled, bathroom-related rituals, compulsive confessing of misdeeds, reading homework repetitively, checking and erasing answers on tests compulsively, probably other stuff I've forgotten after all these years

6. Do you find that your OCD can wax and wane with periods of remission as well as periods where it is very active? If yes, can you relate an increase in your stress level as a precursor to a flare of the OCD?

It is always with me; but it does seem to flare up, and then calm down again, in long (months to years) themes...in between big "episodes", smaller and less disabling Os and Cs persist

7. When your OCD is active how would you rate it's negative impact on your day to day living?

c. severe impact

8. Are there activities that are normally a part of your daily life which your OCD has has caused you to avoid? If yes - give an example and explain why you would avoid that activity.

attending Mass- scrupulosity
eating at restaurants- contamination
driving any more than absolutely necessary
reading for pleasure- often close to impossible
sitting next to others or spending time in crowds- contamination

9. How would you compare the suffering associated with OCD to the suffering of other types of afflictions such as physical illness or injury? Check the one that applies.

I don't think such a comparison can really be made.

10. Do you agree that the use of medication to treat OCD is at times very necessary? Please explain why.

no opinion

11. Do you believe that psychotherapy such as exposure/response is a vital part of treating OCD?
Please explain why.

no opinion

12. Do you now or have you ever in the past blamed yourself for your OCD? Please explain why.

no- a medical condition with which I was most likely born, is not my fault.

13. If you have opened up to others about your OCD have you ever had any one ascribe blame to you for your OCD? If yes - what type of impact did this have on the disorder?

Yes; and all it did was make me feel even more horrible about it. Since we're Christians, though, I'd like to encourage anyone else who has suffered this sort of attitude from others, to forgive them. As you already know, there's no possible way for neurotypicals to truly understand the suffering, or the involuntary nature, of OCD, beyond the most basic stuff the public knows about it. They truly don't know what they're saying. Don't be mad at them.

14. Do you feel free to share about your OCD within your Christian community? Please explain why.

Sure- I have no qualms about gratefully accepting their kindness and their prayers.

15. If you are a Christian and believe that God often uses trials to mold and shape you for His Kingdom purposes, how do you think your affliction of OCD could possibly be used in this way?

I have been told that OCD as bad as mine can be seen as a heavy cross, an instance of redemptive suffering that can unite me to Christ's own suffering. This permanently changed the way I see my condition. I consider it a blessing now, and I have stopped my constant complaining, self-pity, and desire to have it cured. Offering it up has totally changed my perspective; and I am far closer to peace because of this!

kimba · Oct 6, 2007

Amish Your answers encourage me. Thank you! I tend to by very self focused and self pitying (is that a word?) so thanks for the positive stuff. Kim

gracealone · Oct 6, 2007

Thanks so much to all of you who have already given such thoughtful answers to the questionarre. I really appreciate your contribution to this effort.

To Amishparidise,
You make a valid point about question #9 which asks about comparative suffering.
I should really have worded that question differently. I do agree that we are not in any postion to compare our suffering of OCD to the suffering of others with other physical afflictions.
What I was really meaning to ask was :
In our own individual experiences of OCD as well as other illness, injuries or physical pain which have we thus far found harder to endure?
For me I would have to say that the mental pain of OCD has, so far, been harder for me to endure. (Some day I may change my mind on this matter.)

Thank you for making that important observation.
God Bless,
Mitzi

gracealone · Oct 9, 2007

gracealone said:
Hi All,
In response to everyone's encouragement to go ahead and work on the OCD book I've been working out subjects for chapters. I thought, as did some others on our forum, that it would be good idea to have a section that includes some input from all of you about how OCD has impacted your lives. I believe it could be of benefit to the readers to show that: a. People afflicted with OCD share common symptoms, b. OCD is most often a genetically inherited disorder, c. in light of the last two observations, this disorder is not a chosen behavior but a biological affliction, d. ascribing blame to the sufferer of OCD for their disorder is wrong as well as harmful, and e. Although the disorder creates a sense of lonely suffering within an individual, they will be able to see by the responses to this questionarre that they are not alone.
Respond to the questions only if you are comfortable doing so and do not feel that you have to respond to all of them. Everyones identity will be protected as I will not use screen names or real names in the body of this writing. A huge, thank you, to any of you who decide to participate in this effort. Your willingness to open up about your disorder in order to encourage others is a compassionate as well as courageous thing.

It occured to me last night... (duh), that I should answer the questionarre too.

1. Are you afflicted by any of the following anxiety disorders other than OCD? (check all that apply)
a. Panic Disorder/Panic attacks X
b. Generalized anxiety disorder X
c. Social anxiety disorder x (not as bad as when I was younger.)
d. Agoraphobia x (mildly afflicted years ago)
e. Specific Phobia's X

2. By your estimate, how many years had you lived with OCD prior to diagnosis? Although I had OCD for many years I always thought that all my problems were mainly due to Panic Disorder which I've had for 26 years - it wasn't until this last winter that I actually learned that much of what I had experienced in the past as well as now was in fact due to OCD. So I really had it for at least 26 years before I knew what it was.

3. Are you aware of any other immediate/extended family members who have anxiety disorders? (How many and what relation to you)
yes - Mom mild to moderately afflicted, second cousin - severely afflicted, all 3 of my own children afflicted mild to severe.

4. What form of OCD do you have?
a. OCD with outward rituals and compulsive behaviors.
b. Pure "O" OCD (where the compulsive activity involves mental rumination)
c. Both

5. As you reflect on your childhood are you able to identify any behaviors that you can link to your OCD? If yes - please give several examples.
Yes- months of obsessing that I would swallow my tounge or poke out my own eye, refusing blankets as a toddler because of a fear of being covered up, months of obsessing that my heart would stop, one whole summer obsessing that my Dad was going to die of a heart attack, having to sleep on the very edge of my bed almost hanging over the edge because it was "safer" there.

6. Do you find that your OCD can wax and wane with periods of remission as well as periods where it is very active? If yes, can you relate an increase in your stress level as a precursor to a flare of the OCD?
Yes to both.

7. When your OCD is active how would you rate it's negative impact on your day to day living?
a. mild impact
b. moderate impact
c. severe impact

8. Are there activities that are normally a part of your daily life which your OCD has has caused you to avoid? If yes - give an example and explain why you would avoid that activity.
Driving a car, due to panic attacks and also fears of injuring or killing someone or losing control and driving quite purposely into a tree.
With religious OCD I can begin to avoid listening to favorite preachers/teachers, reading favorite Christian Authors, or listening to apolgetic talks which include the atheist point of view.
It's easier to avoid doing these things because when the OCD is very active these activites can cause spikes which in turn causes an increase in my anxiety level.

9. How would you compare the suffering associated with OCD to the suffering of other types of afflictions such as physical illness or injury? Check the one that applies.
a. I find the mental pain and suffering of my OCD harder to endure. This has been the case thus far in my own life when I compare it to other forms of illness that I have had.
b. I find the suffering of other illnesses harder to endure.

10. Do you agree that the use of medication to treat OCD is at times very necessary? Please explain why.
Yes, because the disorder is due to a chemical imbalance which in some individuals is so bad that the disorder can be severely debilitating in it's impact on normal day to day activity. Medication can also make it possible for a person to begin to practice proven therapy techniques where they had been unable to do so in the past.
NO

11. Do you believe that psychotherapy such as exposure/response is a vital part of treating OCD?
Please explain why.
Yes, because it teaches the person the mechanics of just how the OCD brain works and gives them tools to use to help modify their reactions to the anxiety response. It is like learning that if you pick at a sore it only gets worse but if you leave it alone it will heal. The pain of the anxiety makes us want to instictively pick away it by obsession and compulsions but we have to retrain ourselves to let it alone so that we can begin to heal. This is something that can only be achieved by continual practice until it becomes automatic to us.
NO

12. Do you now or have you ever in the past blamed yourself for your OCD? Please explain why.
Yes In the past before I knew anything at all about anxiety disorders I always felt certain that I was to blame for my anxiety. Even now, I can get down on myself for it and blame it on me being weak or spineless or having a lack of faith. It's very easy to fall prey to this.
No

13. If you have opened up to others about your OCD have you ever had any one ascribe blame to you for your OCD? If yes - what type of impact did this have on the disorder?
Yes It has been explained to me by very well meaning Christians that if I would only just pray and ask God to take all my worries that I wouldn't have this problem and that it is a chosen - sinful behavior. I have also been mocked by those who are uneducated about the disorder and have poked fun at me or made light of my disorder as if it's no big deal.
This doesn't shake me anymore like it used to. I expect it, but neither do I get as angry as I used to about it. Instead I use these opportunities to try and educate people in a kind, gentle and respectful way about these disorders.
No

14. Do you feel free to share about your OCD within your Christian community? Please explain why.
Yes but I am also guarded about it with some individuals. I try to use discretion when opening up about it as to whether it would be beneficial at the moment or a cause for starting an argument. I do think it's important to share it though because we never know who we may be able to encourage in doing so.
No

15. If you are a Christian and believe that God often uses trials to mold and shape you for His Kingdom purposes, how do you think your affliction of OCD could possibly be used in this way?

I have learned and am still learning these lessons penned by the apostle Paul in the Word of God:
"He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me" 2 Corinthians 12:9 "Praised be to God Father of our Lord Jesus, Messiah, compassionate Father, God of all encouragement and comfort who encourages us in all our trials so that we can encourage others in whatever trials they may be undergoing with the encouragement we ourselves have recieved from God." 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4

Thanks again to all of you as you have been a great encouragement to me.
Mitzi

amishparadise · Oct 10, 2007

I am glad I could be of some help! :wave:

Boxers1 · Oct 18, 2007

gracealone said:
Hi All,
In response to everyone's encouragement to go ahead and work on the OCD book I've been working out subjects for chapters. I thought, as did some others on our forum, that it would be good idea to have a section that includes some input from all of you about how OCD has impacted your lives. I believe it could be of benefit to the readers to show that: a. People afflicted with OCD share common symptoms, b. OCD is most often a genetically inherited disorder, c. in light of the last two observations, this disorder is not a chosen behavior but a biological affliction, d. ascribing blame to the sufferer of OCD for their disorder is wrong as well as harmful, and e. Although the disorder creates a sense of lonely suffering within an individual, they will be able to see by the responses to this questionarre that they are not alone.
Respond to the questions only if you are comfortable doing so and do not feel that you have to respond to all of them. Everyones identity will be protected as I will not use screen names or real names in the body of this writing. A huge, thank you, to any of you who decide to participate in this effort. Your willingness to open up about your disorder in order to encourage others is a compassionate as well as courageous thing.
1. Are you afflicted by any of the following anxiety disorders other than OCD? (check all that apply)
a. Panic Disorder/Panic attacks- YES
b. Generalized anxiety disorder- YES
c. Social anxiety disorder- YES
d. Agoraphobia- N0
e. Specific Phobia's- YES

2. By your estimate, how many years had you lived with OCD prior to diagnosis?- 15 YEARS

3. Are you aware of any other immediate/extended family members who have anxiety disorders? (How many and what relation to you)- Both biological grandmothers, brother, uncle

4. What form of OCD do you have?
a. OCD with outward rituals and compulsive behaviors.
b. Pure "O" OCD (where the compulsive activity involves mental rumination)- really only Pure O
c. Both

5. As you reflect on your childhood are you able to identify any behaviors that you can link to your OCD? If yes - please give several examples.
Constant praying for forgiveness for bad thoughts towards God starting around 8th grade. Constant fearing that God was angry at me for these thoughts and would cut me off after certain very aggressive feeling bad thoughts. Constant fears of diseases, various illnesses, and dying.

6. Do you find that your OCD can wax and wane with periods of remission as well as periods where it is very active? If yes, can you relate an increase in your stress level as a precursor to a flare of the OCD?
Way Worse during death of close family member; anytime I am worrying about another event in my life; also pre-menstrually my obsessions are worse.

7. When your OCD is active how would you rate it's negative impact on your day to day living?
a. mild impact
b. moderate impact
c. severe impact- severe

8. Are there activities that are normally a part of your daily life which your OCD has has caused you to avoid? If yes - give an example and explain why you would avoid that activity.
I have avoided church and bible reading for fear that the blasphemous obsessions would strike and then the fear that God was terribly angry and mad at me for the thoughts.
I have avoided social events when the panic attacks were bad, fear of passing out or dying in front of other people.

9. How would you compare the suffering associated with OCD to the suffering of other types of afflictions such as physical illness or injury? Check the one that applies.
a. I find the suffering of my OCD harder to endure.
b. I find the suffering of other illnesses harder to endure.
The mental anquish of OCD has been excruciating from a mental standpoint.
10. Do you agree that the use of medication to treat OCD is at times very necessary? Please explain why.
Yes- Yes b/c the anti-anxiety medication has helped my body be able to understand what it feels like to not have that "terrible anxious feeling" and has allowed me to pursue exposure therapy in a more controlled manner.
NO

11. Do you believe that psychotherapy such as exposure/response is a vital part of treating OCD?
Please explain why.
Yes - Without a doubt. In my experience there is no way to deal with this disorder without ceasing to fight the thoughts and accepting the fact that "Yes, that thought can be in mind without me having a panic attack." However, in reality the thought isn't true and I can safely ignore it. The anxiety is a false signal trying to make you believe the thought might be true.
NO

12. Do you now or have you ever in the past blamed yourself for your OCD? Please explain why.
Yes- Before I knew that I had a real medical disorder; I blamed myself terribly and do still at times when I feel responsible for certain more agressive sounding thoughts. Some thoughts are so obviously OCD thoughts, other thoughts feel like "Me" thoughts and it is difficult to distinquish between the two sometimes. The more guilt comes when the thoughts seemed to have been purposely formed by me.
No

13. If you have opened up to others about your OCD have you ever had any one ascribe blame to you for your OCD? If yes - what type of impact did this have on the disorder?
Yes
No- Thankfully no one has blamed me although I have shared this with only a small number of people.

14. Do you feel free to share about your OCD within your Christian community? Please explain why.
Yes
No- No I don't. Many Christians don't understand this disorder and their advice is actually counter-productive to the true OCD sufferer. For example, I have had good well meaning Christians advise me to practice thought stopping or constant prayer or deliverance from this satanic attack. Over time it was only myself who was able to figure out that these tactics were not working and actually made my OCD worse. It sounds so counter intuitive to the Christian community when you reveal that the therapy involves actually accepting the thoughts to a degree, I mean only accepting that they exist in your head, they are allowed to be there and they don't have to be "countered, cancelled-out, cast-out, figured out, rebuked, or magically undone."

15. If you are a Christian and believe that God often uses trials to mold and shape you for His Kingdom purposes, how do you think your affliction of OCD could possibly be used in this way?

I think God has been teaching me that I can live with these terrible thoughts and I will still be ok. I can still pray to him, have a relationship with him, be loved by him, reach out to others, help others, and not self-condemn despite any terrible OCD thought. I can get on with my life and still please God despite that horrific thought that just passed thru my brain. But the only way I can get on with it is to re-train my brain not to react to the thoughts. That's what I mean by living with it. Living with them until they don't bother you even though you still don't want them.
Boxers1

amishparadise · Oct 18, 2007

Boxers1 said:
I think God has been teaching me that I can live with these terrible thoughts and I will still be ok. I can still pray to him, have a relationship with him, be loved by him, reach out to others, help others, and not self-condemn despite any terrible OCD thought. I can get on with my life and still please God despite that horrific thought that just passed thru my brain. But the only way I can get on with it is to re-train my brain not to react to the thoughts. That's what I mean by living with it. Living with them until they don't bother you even though you still don't want them.
Boxers1

Very true! :amen:

ShannonJ · Oct 18, 2007

1. Are you afflicted by any of the following anxiety disorders other than OCD? (check all that apply)
a. Panic Disorder/Panic attacks X
b. Generalized anxiety disorder X
c. Social anxiety disorder
d. Agoraphobia
e. Specific Phobia's

2. By your estimate, how many years had you lived with OCD prior to diagnosis? I have been an obsessive worrier since I was little but was only officially diagnosed a few months ago

3. Are you aware of any other immediate/extended family members who have anxiety disorders? (How many and what relation to you) My Dad and brothers suffer from panic attacks and my grandmother (mom's side) has OCD and is bi-polar, also my mother's sister and brother are bi-polar (What a gene pool!)

4. What form of OCD do you have?
a. OCD with outward rituals and compulsive behaviors.
b. Pure "O" OCD (where the compulsive activity involves mental rumination) X
c. Both

5. As you reflect on your childhood are you able to identify any behaviors that you can link to your OCD? If yes - please give several examples. When I was little I obsessivly worried about things. My worry would sometimes last for months about one thing. This has carried into my adult life.

6. Do you find that your OCD can wax and wane with periods of remission as well as periods where it is very active? If yes, can you relate an increase in your stress level as a precursor to a flare of the OCD? Stress does make it worse, but then again the really bad times cause me stress (catch 22!) I think my OCD was bad for a few years as a child and then got better for a few years and started to slowly build up about 2 years ago and is at a pretty bad point right now.

7. When your OCD is active how would you rate it's negative impact on your day to day living?
a. mild impact
b. moderate impactX
c. severe impactX I would say moderate to severe

8. Are there activities that are normally a part of your daily life which your OCD has has caused you to avoid? If yes - give an example and explain why you would avoid that activity. Yes- right now I am feeling detached form myself (if this makes sense to anyone) and my OCD thoughts make me think that I am going crazy so I am nervous to start a new job.

9. How would you compare the suffering associated with OCD to the suffering of other types of afflictions such as physical illness or injury? Check the one that applies.
I think what is hard about any mental condition is just that, it is mental. What I am getting at is the brain is the only organ able to evaluate itself. So when you have an affliction in the body you can evaluate it and it does not counter back like OCD.....

10. Do you agree that the use of medication to treat OCD is at times very necessary? Please explain why.
If medication works for you go for it! I have not had much luck as the meds I was given increased my depression severely! However, sometimes during the day I take 1/2 a Xanax if I feel like my head is going to start spinning.

11. Do you believe that psychotherapy such as exposure/response is a vital part of treating OCD?
Please explain why.
I don't know about this one.....

12. Do you now or have you ever in the past blamed yourself for your OCD? Please explain why.
Always. I feel like "these are my thoughts why can't I just get a grip" and basically my family says the same thing (just not so harsh).

13. If you have opened up to others about your OCD have you ever had any one ascribe blame to you for your OCD? If yes - what type of impact did this have on the disorder?
Yes
NoX

14. Do you feel free to share about your OCD within your Christian community? Please explain why.
I am pretty open about my problems. I feel like I have changed in the past few months with everything I have been going through so I don't know if I feel like I owe people an explanation or if I just feel less like I am hiding something if I just get it out in the open.

15. If you are a Christian and believe that God often uses trials to mold and shape you for His Kingdom purposes, how do you think your affliction of OCD could possibly be used in this way? I know that there has to be a purpose for all of what I am going through. Maybe it is to help someone else or maybe it just helps take me down a path to get to where God wants me to be. A path that I would not have originally taken if I did not have this problem. Only God knows why and maybe it is beyond my understanding but there has to be a purpose.

gracealone · Oct 20, 2007

Thanks so much Boxers and Shannon for picking up this thread again and taking the time to give such honest and well thought out responses. I appreciate your willingness to share your experiences so much. God Bless you for doing so.
Thank you to everyone else also who have contributed to this effort thus far.
I am so grateful to you.
Mitzi

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