I'm a Christian-- and gay-- and my family doesn't know.

micbmac said:

First of all welcome to cf. I don't think you are going to find much support in here as the bible (word of God) condems homosexuality. I think you need plenty of prayer. you sound like a great person, but this one sin is where Satin is going to try to take you in as his own. Please don't feel like I am attacking you because I'm not. I will say a prayer for you.

Click to expand...

I agree 100% with you. The bible says that it is a sin, and the bible is what we live by daily.

twistedsketch said:

The right thing to do is live a celibate lifestyle. We are all tempted in different ways, but it is saying "yes" to the temptation that makes us sinners. Homosexuality is undeniably offensive to God, but He will reward you if you continue to love Him and refuse to act on those desires.

As for your parents, pray about that. That's the closest thing to advice I can give you.

Click to expand...

Very well said.

Welcome to the forums! I am new also.

Regarding your topic, I PM'd you about it.

pottedplant, if you want real support (i.e. not "it's a sin and you have to change!"), I would advise you to post here: http://foru.ms/f401-whosoever-will-may-come-liberal.html

wblastyn said:

pottedplant, if you want real support (i.e. not "it's a sin and you have to change!")

Click to expand...

This is real support. If sin is not identified and dealt with, it will grow into a monster that can consume your life.

I think you should be yourself... I hope that eventually you find a perfect girl for you, and you won't have to hide that from anyone. In my opinion, it's wrong to force yourself to be celibate and alone all your life like some other people suggested... that would only cause great harm to you.

wblastyn said:

pottedplant, if you want real support (i.e. not "it's a sin and you have to change!"), I would advise you to post here: http://foru.ms/f401-whosoever-will-may-come-liberal.html

Click to expand...

That's a good advice

*Starlight* said:

I think you should be yourself... I hope that eventually you find a perfect girl for you, and you won't have to hide that from anyone. In my opinion, it's wrong to force yourself to be celibate and alone all your life like some other people suggested... that would only cause great harm to you.



That's a good advice

Click to expand...

Well-said.

Personally, I think its a even greater "sin" to be judgemental and suggest lifestyles to people. I don't know, just the idea of telling someone to be celibate because they're homosexual just seems so uppity to me.

I'm heterosexual, with a preference for tall brunettes. People would balk if someone else told me to date either short blonds or remain celibate. I'd also laugh in their face. Its preference - and in this case, I don't see how a preference for the same sex is really any different. Sexuality is too personal, IMO, for anyone other than the two parties in a comitted relationship or sexual relationshop or whatever it is to comment on.

</rant>

Quirk said:

Well-said.

Personally, I think its a even greater "sin" to be judgemental and suggest lifestyles to people. I don't know, just the idea of telling someone to be celibate because they're homosexual just seems so uppity to me.

Click to expand...

Uppity? I said that with all humility and respect for the Word of God, and with all compassion for her. Claiming something is not sinful just because you (or other people) do it a lot is one of the most arrogant things a person can do. Compassion and respect does not mean enabling sinful behavior. It can mean, as it did with me earlier in this thread, that people should be saved from going off the deep end out of hopelessness.

Quirk said:

I'm heterosexual, with a preference for tall brunettes. People would balk if someone else told me to date either short blonds or remain celibate. I'd also laugh in their face. Its preference - and in this case, I don't see how a preference for the same sex is really any different. Sexuality is too personal, IMO, for anyone other than the two parties in a comitted relationship or sexual relationshop or whatever it is to comment on.

</rant>

Click to expand...

Scripture says it is very different. There are such things as boundaries when it comes to sexual morality. Personal tastes are fine - as long as they are for the opposite gender, of the same species, and not taken. Preference for married people is wrong. Preference for people of the same gender is wrong. Preference for animals is wrong. If we have these preferences, we have the responsibility to fight them, rather than feed them. Because if we feed them, then we will have rebelled against God.

According to scripture, homosexuality is a sin before God and a Christian should not involve themselves in it. I myself do not know if one is born gay or if it is a choice (I think that it can be both...not sure yet on my thoughts though)...but according to scripture it seems that if one is gay and is also a Christian, they should not engage in sexual relationships with the same sex as that would be a sin.

As to whether telling your parents or not...that is something that is up to you and how you think your parents might respond. Hugs

twistedsketch said:

Uppity? I said that with all humility and respect for the Word of God, and with all compassion for her. Claiming something is not sinful just because you (or other people) do it a lot is one of the most arrogant things a person can do. Compassion and respect does not mean enabling sinful behavior. It can mean, as it did with me earlier in this thread, that people should be saved from going off the deep end out of hopelessness.


Scripture says it is very different. There are such things as boundaries when it comes to sexual morality. Personal tastes are fine - as long as they are for the opposite gender, of the same species, and not taken. Preference for married people is wrong. Preference for people of the same gender is wrong. Preference for animals is wrong. If we have these preferences, we have the responsibility to fight them, rather than feed them. Because if we feed them, then we will have rebelled against God.

Click to expand...

I still don't see how a preference for the same gender is anyless different than a personal preference for tall men, or women who have the body frame of Nicole Richie, or for dudes with facial hair. As long as the parties are consenting [and preferably of age], I don't see how homosexuality should be treated any different.

I also find the suggestion that promoting celibacy amongst the gay community is somehow keeping them from "hopelessness" rather strange. There are plenty of heterosexuals in heterosexual marriages/relationships who are also hopeless. Hopelessness is not a byproduct of homosexual relationships or an inevitable part of it.

As I said, sexuality and the sexuality of others is way too personal for anyone else to judge. Its a private matter between parties. As long as the sexual relationship between Bob & Andrew or Sally & Jessica isn't made public, I don't see why it should be open to interpretation by other people.

Quirk said:

I still don't see how a preference for the same gender is anyless different than a personal preference for tall men, or women who have the body frame of Nicole Richie, or for dudes with facial hair. As long as the parties are consenting [and preferably of age], I don't see how homosexuality should be treated any different.

Click to expand...

There are commands against homosexuality, inappropriate behavior with animals, and adultery. There are no commands concerning liking tall people, short people, skinny people, fat people, whatever.

Quirk said:

I also find the suggestion that promoting celibacy amongst the gay community is somehow keeping them from "hopelessness" rather strange. There are plenty of heterosexuals in heterosexual marriages/relationships who are also hopeless. Hopelessness is not a byproduct of homosexual relationships or an inevitable part of it.

Click to expand...

Hopeless as in thinking that one cannot escape this sin, so one might as well embrace it. Homosexuality isn't the only sin that people could argue that they are born with, nor is it the only sin that many people for good reasons don't think that they can change. Yet, it is one of the only sins today that gets a free pass in the minds of some people because of those very reasons. When we give any sin a free pass like this, we are playing the devil's game.

My advice is to just be yourself. You can't change who you are. As for your parents -- I think you will have to tell them eventually. I hope they are understanding and that they realize being a homosexual is who you are -- and that you can't change that. Good luck to you.

twistedsketch said:

Uppity? I said that with all humility and respect for the Word of God, and with all compassion for her.

Click to expand...

To be honest, telling someone they must be alone all their life is just as "compassionate" as telling them to go hang themselves or jump from a bridge.... and it's a message of total hopelessness. At least that's how I see it...

twistedsketch said:

There are commands against homosexuality, inappropriate behavior with animals, and adultery. There are no commands concerning liking tall people, short people, skinny people, fat people, whatever.


Hopeless as in thinking that one cannot escape this sin, so one might as well embrace it. Homosexuality isn't the only sin that people could argue that they are born with, nor is it the only sin that many people for good reasons don't think that they can change. Yet, it is one of the only sins today that gets a free pass in the minds of some people because of those very reasons. When we give any sin a free pass like this, we are playing the devil's game.

Click to expand...

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to twistedsketch again.

I know that this is a subject that comes up quite often on cf, and there have been lots of people who have said what they know the scriptures to teach..........that is, that homosexuality is a sin and yes it is no worse than adultery or murder or any other because James tells us that if you transgress in one point you transgress in them all, yet I would not counsel anyone to continue in any sin.
You say you were born with these feelings....so what, I was born with feelings such as jelousy, anger, hatred, that doesn`t make these feelings right. The best advice I can give you is to search the scriptures that people use in defence of homosexuality and those scriptures that people say speak against it and with an open mind and in prayer ask God for the truth. No amount of my saying it is wrong or anyone else saying the same is going to show you that it is, only God can do that.



Mark

You asked "What would you do?" Well, I would work up the courage to tell my family that I am gay. I would also not worry about being gay. Being gay is not a sin and neither is having a gay relationship so don't worry.

*Starlight* said:

To be honest, telling someone they must be alone all their life is just as "compassionate" as telling them to go hang themselves or jump from a bridge.... and it's a message of total hopelessness. At least that's how I see it...

Click to expand...

Word.

Hopeless as in thinking that one cannot escape this sin, so one might as well embrace it. Homosexuality isn't the only sin that people could argue that they are born with, nor is it the only sin that many people for good reasons don't think that they can change. Yet, it is one of the only sins today that gets a free pass in the minds of some people because of those very reasons. When we give any sin a free pass like this, we are playing the devil's game.

Click to expand...

Whether you see it as a "sin" or not is up to one's personal mores.

Again, does it really matter or even effect you whether a woman you've never met [I assume you haven't met pottedplant] loves and lives in a sexual relationship with another woman? Again, I wouldn't imagine the average homosexual or bisexual person would look at me in a heterosexual relationship and deem that "sinful". Love is love, regardless of gender.

David's Sweetheart said:

You asked "What would you do?" Well, I would work up the courage to tell my family that I am gay. I would also not worry about being gay. Being gay is not a sin and neither is having a gay relationship so don't worry.

Click to expand...

you said its not a sin to be gay, but the bible says different. were did you get your facts from because its not from Gods word at all.

David's Sweetheart said:

You asked "What would you do?" Well, I would work up the courage to tell my family that I am gay. I would also not worry about being gay. Being gay is not a sin and neither is having a gay relationship so don't worry.

Click to expand...

Please dont state such an obviously unusual opinion without scriptural support.

MarkEvan said:

You say you were born with these feelings....so what, I was born with feelings such as jelousy, anger, hatred, that doesn`t make these feelings right.
Mark

Click to expand...

I didn't think about that argument when people say they are born that way. If those feelings of jealousy, anger, and hate are innate then how can they be wrong? I'm not trying to argue but if God created us in his image and God has those traits, then why are we born with those traits? just something i thought about.