Can I Stop Intrusive Thoughts? OCD Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit

unpardoned1 said:

I've felt that before as well. It would hurt to read the Bible, listen to Christian radio, messeges at church ect... because I felt it wasn't for me. I felt exclued like I was on the outside looking in.

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I have had that "outside looking in feeling" as well. It's the worst, but it's just a feeling - not the truth.

unpardoned1 said:

I actually still have that most of the time. I've been going through something lately where I can't seem to get close to God, its almost like theres no desire there. Its really weird and it bothers me. Maybe its preoccupation with everything else in life?

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That's the way I feel. I mean I pray to him because I know he listens but it's like he's so far away listening to me. The medicine I am taking is helping. There's times when I feel like my thoughts line up with what my heart believes about God but then there are times when I have the blasphemous thought against God but not as often. I think I'm going to Urgent Care tomorrow to see what's causing this heart pain, it's been going on way too long. The pharmacist said it takes about 3 weeks for the medicine I'm taking to kick in and notice a big difference. So, I'm hopeful.

Thanks,
Cecily

unpardoned1 said:

I have been there as well. It is like a compulsion, just as I had one that I would have to touch somthing until it felt right or pick the right clothes or I wouldn't feel right or make my bed a certain way... I could go on and on. Its just one of the many ways that OCD rears its ugly head. I have felt that way, like I had to say the words even though I hated them.

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Lately, I've been noticing that I've been doing that too, like somethings wrong with me if I'm not obsessing about Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Does God forgive us for this? I sure hope so because I've been asking for forgiveness about 30 times a day for these thoughts. I know he knows we can't help it but I still feel guilty for doing it and I guess that a good thing. As long as I feel Guilty, God knows I care, right?

Thanks,
Cecily

absolutley.i had the same thoughts as you and repented more times than the Rangers scored runs yesterday during my first stuggle, but was forgiven.so you are too.

cecilyrbornemann said:

Lately, I've been noticing that I've been doing that too, like somethings wrong with me if I'm not obsessing about Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit. Does God forgive us for this? I sure hope so because I've been asking for forgiveness about 30 times a day for these thoughts. I know he knows we can't help it but I still feel guilty for doing it and I guess that a good thing. As long as I feel Guilty, God knows I care, right?

Thanks,
Cecily

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I used to struggle more with guilt. I always thought guilt was good, but I began to realize I was a "guilt addict." True guilt is useful if it drives us to repentance for sin. However, I think we struggle with large amounts of false guilt. This false guilt becomes a compulsion, because "if you worry about having committed the unpardonable sin, then you haven't done it." Guilt then keeps us safe and we will remain safe if the guilt is present. If the guilt is not present then we feel "guilty" for not having the guilt, so we create our own. Does that mean we trust our guilt more than Christ?

Our identity in Christ is not one of guilt, but of freedom.

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1)

unpardoned1 said:

Yes, he knows you care, but I don't think he wants you to feel guilty since you don't mean it. He knows its not you, its not how you feel, so he doesn't hold you accountable to it. Our brains are like computers, they somtimes get glitches and I know God wont hold us accountable for that, right? That would go against the very nature of God.

Please go to the dr. about the heart pain, however I can tell you that I get it too. Its part of the whole panic process and feeling so bad all the time. I really feel the klonopin helps me. It takes about 40 minutes to work, but when it does, the world could blow up and I woun't be the least bit concerned. Seriously, it allows me to function, get things done, take care of my kids, and other things. You should tell them you feel severe anxiety and see what they have to offer you. Hugs for now, please pm me if you need to. I will add you to my buddy list so that you can.

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Thanks, I went to the ER today and they said they couldn't find anything wrong with me even after I told them everything. I am on Klonopin and it helps. They put me on Naproxen and Hydrocodone for the heart pain. I have to go for a stress test for my heart later this week. I just sent you a private message as well. Thanks for your support.

Cecily

unpardoned1 said:

Wow, naproxen and hydrocodone? Whats the second one? I'm sure everythings ok. It may not even be what your thinking it is. I did go in for a whole thing of tests a few years ago and they couldn't find anything wrong, but I just wanted to be sure and its good for you to be reassured too.
Do you drink a lot of caffine? I used to and I know this didn't help. I now get half regular half decaff w/ 2 splendas and cream. lol. The people and dunkin donuts can't stand me.
For me, if I lift my kids up or anything else I tend to get pain there. Stress will do it all the time as well.
Tonight, I'm just asking for it. I went to Taco Bell and got a large cherry pepsi. I shared some but I had most of it. Klonopin will sometimes help reverse this affect.

I hope you are doing ok tonight. I know its not easy. I'm just going to hang out, watch a movie, put my kids to bed and hopefully relax a little. My ocd is really bad lately in other areas.

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They're both pain medication. Tonight I thought and of course I don't believe this, that the holy spirit is the devil. I didn't mean to think it. I did everything I could to distract myself. I did ask God to forgive me for this and I hope he did. Can you tell I worry too much? It's a good thing too because it's when we stop worrying that's when we should be worried about our relationship with God. Anyway, I'm going to bed so I can get to church in the morning.

Take care and I'll talk to you tomorrow with probably more drama.

Cecily

I have had a really hard time with this issue. However, I do find comfort in this verse,

"Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. 15Nothing outside a man can make him 'unclean' by going into him. Rather, it is what comes out of a man that makes him 'unclean.' "[f]

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http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark 7;&version=31;

OCD is beyond our control. It at some point entered us from the outside but it will not condemn us.
(beyond our control But not beyond God's control)

The first time I started worrying about the Unpardonable was on a trip to California. I just had awful thoughts the whole time and it really bothered me. I prayed to Jesus and God a lot during that period, and I encourage you to do the same.

hey josh my name is also josh.

weird coincidence but i first had my struggle with the unpardonable sin on a trip to california.strange

Does anyone know where unpardoned1 is? I've sent her a PM but haven't heard anything. It has dead next to her profile what does that mean? Help as I am new to this forum.

Thanks,
Cecily

thought i'd put this up again for anyone who hasnt seen it. it completley took away my fear that i commited the sin.


The unpardonable sin is a sin that is deep rooted in the heart. Jesus said that blasphemy comes from within a man's heart (Mark 7:21-23). Blasphemy is rooted in hatred, and therefore in order to have blasphemy in your heart against somebody, you must first hate them. So in order to have the ability to commit the unpardonable sin, you must first have a hard heart which hates the Holy Spirit. Once somebody commits this sin, that person cuts them self off from the Holy Spirit (Isaiah 63:10), which is the person who leads them back to repentance (the ability to repent is something given to us by God - 2 Timothy 2:25, "...if perhaps God may grant them repentance..." NASB - there are many other verses to prove this as well, including John 6:44, "No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him..." along side John 6:37, "...him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out."). Therefore, the person who commits such a sin, would have no way of turning back; he would remain in his hardened heart, and would not have any remorse for what he has done. Therefore, being concerned about such a sin, is valid proof that one has not committed it!

Things have been getting worse and worse. I think I am becoming delusional and losing touch with reality. It has got to the stage where I think I am beginning to believe all these horrible lies about Jesus in my head. I have felt suicidal. When your mind is so totally filled with these things, how can you fight your way free?