Catholic views on sex

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nyj

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Aren't Catholics against all forms of birth control?


They should be. The Church has spoken out against all attempts to deny/disrupt/frustrate the procreating aspect of the act of making love with ones spouse.

What if you like kids, but don't want 17 of them?


The Church does teach potential new couples what is called Natural Family Planning (NFP). It teaches a couple how to effectively monitor the woman's cycle so they can pinpoint the peak days of fertility. This information can then be used to help couples plan a pregnancy or space their children apart. What the Church asks couples to do is to be receptive to the idea of creating life every time they make love. This doesn't mean that they must try to be successful everytime, but that they be open to whatever God has planned for them (ie: this completely eliminates any form of artificial birth control). Also, a family can space the time between pregnancies by almost two years if a woman stays on a consistent breast feeding cycle.

What the Church asks people to do is be receptive to God's will for them. To be good stewards of the gifts He has given them and will continue to bestow upon them. Hence, abuse of NFP (ie: to always pinpoint fertility peaks and then abstaining from sex) is also viewed as a mortal sin. There is nothing wrong about planning a family a year or two down the road, it is another thing entirely to wait seven or eight years until you think you "can handle it".

And is it alright for married couples to have sex after their child bearing years (since it isn't procreative)?


Since God designed humans to have a window of opportunity to achieve and sustain a pregnancy, I would think that the answer to this question would be "Yes, it is alright." Remember, God has bestowed children upon people who have been barren and were extremely old of age. If a miracle is in His plans, who are we to say otherwise?
 
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Wolseley

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Aren't Catholics against all forms of birth control?

No. Only artificial birth control.
What if you like kids, but don't want 17 of them?

Learn to practice natural birth control, like NFP.
And is it alright for married couples to have sex after their child bearing years (since it isn't procreative)?

The ruling of the Church is that every sexual act must be open to the possibility of conception---that means you can't use an artificial method (condoms, spermicides, IUDs, diaphrams, etc.) to eliminate the possibility. If you are beyond childbearing age and engage in sex, you may not get pregnant, but the possibility is always there; and you have not used any artificial methods to prevent it.
 
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Avila

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There is a lot more to sex than "just sex".

We believe that being open to the possibility of life (see the other posts on this subject) allows us to participate more intimately, in such a small, small way, in the Divine. Just as the Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son, if we are open to the life-giving force of God, we may issue forth a new life.

Also, Dh and I have found that when we use an artificial form of BC, our marriage and our faith seems to falter. We use NFP to keep from getting pregnant most months, but even then, we don't always prayerfully abstain and thus leave ourselves open to God's will. If you really trust God, then why are you taking your life-giving abilities and telling God that he can't be trusted with your fertility? Trusting God with this precious gift he's given you is the most awesome feeling!!! Do you truly believe that God will not give you more than you can handle? Do you know that He will be faithful to you and only give you the best? If so, then why keep your fertility from him? The Psalms and Proverbs both have many verses listing the benefits of children, following is my favorite. "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons of one's youth." Psalm 127:4
 
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When I first converted to Catholicism, I figured that birth control was just something where I would have to "agree to disagree" with what the Church taught. Many priests will tell a woman that the decision is between her and God. For reasons I will not elaborate here, it was my decision that my husband and I were not ready to start a family.

Years (and two children) later, I ran across a small book that detailed exactly WHAT the reasonings were behind the Church's position against Artificial Birth Control. Yes, the points mentioned in the above posts were covered, but there were some deeper messages that touched my heart. Had I been more willing to listen to what the Church taught when I first became Catholic, I may have conducted my married life a bit differently.

Here's what the book had to say:

The purpose of sex is two-fold, of course. Procreation is the main goal, and secondary is the intimate relationship between a man and a woman. In today's society, the secondary purpose is the one that has moved to the forefront. "If it feels good, do it!" could be the battle cry. What Artificial Birth Control does is to separate something that God intended to keep together. And when that happens, Satan rubs his hands together with glee. Because, once the "threat" of pregnancy is no longer an issue, then the intimacy can be exploited. What does this mean? Think about it. Promiscuity, adultery, even ****ography, domination, and a lot more nastiness too vile to detail here.

Wait a minute, I can hear you saying. Just because my wife is taking the Pill, that doesn't mean we're getting into kinky sex! No, it certainly doesn't. However, you must admit, that promiscuity, adultery, use of ****ography, adulterous THOUGHTS...these are all more likely once the procreative purpose has been stripped from sex. And in a back-stabbing way, the further that pregnancy is distanced from sex, the intimacy begins to shrivel and die, as well.

"But that doesn't happen to everyone who uses birth control; and I KNOW it won't happen to me." Perhaps it won't. But when a division between procreation and intimacy is created by humans, you are meddling with something that God intended to remain together. What is that line from the marriage ceremony? "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder."

Just something to think about.



Peace be with you,
~VOW
 
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Wolseley

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Under Catholic moral theology, any deliberate impairment of a healthy, functioning bodily part (including the testes) is mutilation, and strictly forbidden.

Thus, vasectomies are out. The only way you could legitimately acquire any type of vasectomy would be for you to contract testicular cancer which could only be treated by removal of the testes---removal of a diseased organ does not fall under the categaory of mutilation. .
 
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Well, seeing as how I have had two - yes, count them, two! - beautiful children WHILE I was on birth control pills, I have absolutely no doubt that even if you use the artificial methods, when God wants you to have a child, well, you get one! :) I was on the BCPs because after years of trying to regulate my cycles into some semblance of normalcy naturally, the doctor finally convinced me to go on a low-dosage pill. It has done the trick of regulating my cycles and controlling my bleeding and pain, however I do not consider it a form of birth control - see my first statement! And as for vascectomies and tying your tubes, my DH was conceived AFTER his mother had her tubes tied. No matter what obstacles man puts in his way, God can give you a child.
 
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I'll speak from a very traditional, old school view on the subject. Thus it may differ slightly from the response other Catholics in here give.

"Sex", meaning conjugal relations, are seen as neither being excutiatingly beautiful, or inherently wicked in Catholicism. They are what they are; something motivated by a natural instinct in the flesh, for the obvious purpose of procreation.

That much is obvious; that they are INTENDED for procreation. This is not to say that there are not secondary effects and purposes attached to such relations, for example the strengthening of a couple's affection for one another. However even this end, is actually in support of the primary end; the strengthening of a couple's bond, for the rearing of children, which are procreated via sexual relations.

Does this mean that any sexual union between wedded spouses that does not result in conception is sinful? Of course not; whether one conceives or not is something totally not up to the spouses themselves. What IS immoral, is to do anything to hamper such reproduction, whether it be in the form of contraceptive devices, medications, self mutilating surgeries, etc.

The same would be true then in the case of a married couple who are now beyond child bearing years (or should I say a woman in such couple who is beyond child bearing years; technically a man can sire children until his dying breath, so long as he's not become impotent). That a woman has become infertile is not something that is in her power to change; and since the God given appetite for physical relations still exists, as well as the wedded relationship itself between the spouses, intimate relations are still moral. However it is no coincidence that as the couple ages and child bearing physically becomes impossible, sexual desire in both parties TENDS to decline (and in a few cases, disappear entirely.)

There is however another reality to contend with; and that would be concupicence. This term refers to the out of control carnality we all contend with. It is that unthinking recklessness, which makes a man a glutton, or makes him a lust enslaved person. Catholics believe that as man was created, he is a rational soul, and was given a physical body appropriate to that soul. He was also given the grace, the participation in the ordering and sanctifying life with God, to have full control over that body. The body was very much the servant of the spirit, not vice versa.

However when man defied the divine order (disobeying God), his entire world went out of order. This included his relationship with his body. The body was no longer continually maintained by God (thus it would become feeble and eventually die), and man lost the fullness of God's help to control his passions.

This is why man the rational creature, so often struggles with himself...a fight between that which would gratify him, and that which is noble and good. It's a contradiction, between being a naturally "civilizing animal", yet so prone to selfishness and destruction, which I think nothing save the Christian philosophy can explain.

We are fallen creatures...and concupicence is a "cross" we all commonly bear.

That said, issues of sexuality become very complicated and controverted. For example, people questioning God's ability to provide, will say "but if I have children left right and centre, we will be destitude". Or if people REALLY feel it's prudent to avoid having children (save a cross is sent their way in the form of some ailment by which it would not be currently good for a woman to bear children for a time), actually abstaining from marital relations (which would seem to be the logical choice) becomes almost an obscenity to them. This shows how not in control we are, by default, of our passions. This is the fruit of original sin everyone deals with.

This is why Catholics are given helps, why we believe in penances, praying, and fasting, or the mortification of the senses. These are all helps (above all, beseeching God's grace), to keep the passions (which come in many forms, not just sexual) under check. Otherwise you will become a slave to your own flesh, aside from one who also listens to the temptations of the devil (who is another figure we must contend with).

As a mild condescension to those who are weak and struggling, yet without throwing aside the moral principles and natural law, the Church does allow "natural family planning". Basically it involves holding off on marital relations at certain times during a woman's monthly cycle (so there is still some self control involved here), and only having intimacies when the wife is at her least fertile period. This of course doesn't mean a child could not be conceived; but at the very least the couple is not doing anything with the marital act itself to aggrivate conception. They are showing a respect for God's order. It is not the most perfect solution, but with proper consultation with one's confessor, it may be deemed the better one for some people. However it becomes sinful if used in a manner to totally frustrate reproduction, even when the spouses have adequate means to support children and there are no health issues involved. In other words, if you are simply selfish and cannot be bothered with lots of children, it's not a way out; it would become a betrayal of marriage.

For the very purpose of marriage, is the reproduction and fostering of children. While modern culture has taken romance (which they've narrowed down to only refer to amorous relations between men and women...which is incorrect, as it refers to something much broader than this) and made it the only point to marriage, this is very wrong and places our own whims above the obvious order that God has established.

In the context of marriage, respecting the natural order, physical relations between a husband and wife are not in the least bit shameful or sinful. They in fact are the consumation of their vows to one another, and are at least the first step in fulfilling the very purpose of marriage (the birthing and rearing of children.)

In short, the Catholic view of sexuality is noble, principled, and non-puritanical. It neither makes the error of prescribing free love, nor does it make a loving, physical married relationship seem filthy. "The marriage bed is undefiled" taught St.Paul, and we being his spiritual children, agree of course.

What I think needs to be answered in the realm of things Christian, is not the Catholic Church's reasons for it's principled stand, but what excuse non-Catholic groups (and this means all of them; Eastern Orthodox, Protestant, etc.) have for allowing contraception to their adherants. The allowance of such things makes any claims to moral superiority to the world seem hollow, and only a form of bigotry. Allow me to explain...

While it is a part of the legitimate Christian tradition that homosexual relations are sinful, why is this? If our answer is only "because God says so", it appears that we, and our God, are just bigoted and hung up on aesthetics. However the Catholic Church does not speak of God being so petty; rather God has an order and a purpose, and this lies at the heart of why there is even such an animal as "morality." Homosexual acts are considered sinful because they are disordered. But then again, so are contracepted sexual acts, or any sexual act not open to causing conception. Thus it's rather hypocritical for a Protestant Minister to have his wife on a regimen of contraceptive pills, yet claim from his pulpit that homosexuals are grievous sinners, who shirk God's natural order.

Basically, the untraditional position which MODERN Protestantism has taken on contraception (all Protestants, in fact most secular people, were agreed with the Catholic Church on this matter until about the 1930's), guts any sense that their Christian ethics are based on something rational. Rather it makes it all seem arbitrary...and given that we live in a chaotic world in which so much has the appearance of being arbitrary to begin with, why trade this "arbitrary" existance for the "because we say so" of the Christians?
 
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Caedmon

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Hi guys. I attend a Southern Baptist church, but I suppose that you could call me a Calvinistic/Reformed Baptist.

Personally, I do not believe in contraception. I even have some reservations about NFP. I CAN NOT BELIEVE that someone would call me "selfish" or "chauvinistic" for believing as I do. I have absolutely no intention of being selfish; if anything, having children is the most unselfish thing a married couple can do! A growing epidemic is where CHRISTIAN couples get married JUST so that they can have sex without a guilty conscience! But the thing is, it's nothing but a gratification of pleasure verging on lust; it's not a unity of flesh, not a life-giving intimacy, not a willing openness to having lots of wonderful children. I just wish more of my Protestant peers understood why this aggravates me. grrr.... :mad:

Whenever I see a commercial on TV about how "wonderful" the pill is, and how some are "highly effective for combating mild to moderate cases of acne", it SERIOUSLY makes me want to just HURL all over the place. Don't people understand that the pill has the potential to perform silent abortions of tiny little babies? This is my opinion: widespread birth control was instituted to lower the numbers of teenage/unwed pregnancies and slow the spread of std's. But let's be serious; has it really helped either of these issues? We wouldn't HAVE these problems if people knew and practiced God's plan for sex. :eek:

And as far as the "Protestant" decision to allow contraception goes, I have this to say: NO Protestant groups were approving contraception until 1930, when the Anglican church began allowing it ONLY in marriage and ONLY under special circumstances. But after that precedent, slowly but surely, ALL liberties were taken by all the Protestant groups.

And oh yeah.... if you wanna take it a step further, consider a paraphrase of what the US Supreme Court thinks about contraception: Abortion is NECESSARY for a contracepting society.
NECESSARY!?!?! Even the US Supreme Court confirms that contraception has a direct link to ABORTION, in that abortion is a "necessary" BACKUP option in case contraception doesn't work. Aye caramba, what is our nation becoming?.... :confused:

But after all is said and done, I worry about one thing. I don't know how I'm going to find a Christian lady that agrees with my views. *sniff*.... Naturally, I stay within Reformed circles(no offense to my Catholic friends), and it is extremely difficult and stressful finding women that believe as I do. Pray for me guys, will ya? :(

Well guys, I'm through ranting for now. I get very passionate about this issue, and I apologize if I've taken this post too far. Peace to all, God bless.... :)

*braces self for flames from Protestant peers* LOL :D

PS....

For the very purpose of marriage, is the reproduction and fostering of children. While modern culture has taken romance (which they've narrowed down to only refer to amorous relations between men and women...which is incorrect, as it refers to something much broader than this) and made it the only point to marriage, this is very wrong and places our own whims above the obvious order that God has established.

Exactamundo. :)

In short, the Catholic view of sexuality is noble, principled, and non-puritanical.

I consider myself to be Calvinistic, which is the traditional historical identity of Puritans, so I naturally have some emotional connection with them. I understand what your attempting to say, but please don't misconstrue or use stereotypical blanket descriptions. The Puritans were quite devoted to God and family. Thanks.... :)
 
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Caedmon

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That's a bit callous, Optimus_P.

Marriage is two things:
1. It lets us participate in the renewal of life and the raising of children.
2. It lets us seek out the "bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh"(world's oldest love song). It unifies two people in an awesome demonstration of love, unselfishness, and intimacy.
 
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Avila

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humblejoe,

She's out there. Just when you stop looking, God'll knock ya up side o' the head with a 2x4 (or worse, if you're not careful) and there she'll be. Just be careful, she might be a Catholic! LOL! Seriously, I was looking for a "good Protestant boy", and I got a former Catholic seminarian! ROTFL! Not that I mind....
 
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Caedmon

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I don't think that I could marry Catholic, no offense to any of you. I couldn't raise my children as Catholics, considering how devoted of a Protestant that I am. There would be a very high probability of me having some resentment against a Catholic wife that forced me to raise our children Catholic, and that doesn't make for a good marriage. No offense, but I could never raise my children as Catholic. :(
 
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Avila

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Believe me, HJ, I understand. I felt the exact same way before I met my DH, but then I converted of my own accord. I'm not saying that you should/would do that, but just giving a little bit of friendly teasing! :p The right girl is out there! God will bring you together when the time is right. :cool:
 
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Originally posted by humblejoe
That's a bit callous, Optimus_P.

Marriage is two things:
1. It lets us participate in the renewal of life and the raising of children.
2. It lets us seek out the "bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh"(world's oldest love song). It unifies two people in an awesome demonstration of love, unselfishness, and intimacy.

I speak from experiance. Not that my view is right or wrong but that is what i see from experiance.

Yes there are differnt types of emotional feelings that come with sex w/ someone you truly care about BUT at the core how many random people out of 10 or 100 have sex preplaning childbirth vs just do it because it feels good.

Demonstration of love would be to just hold someone close and hold noone but the Lord God above him/her.
 
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