Yes, if faith were a direct line to healing, alot of us would really be healthy! I used to wish it were that easy. But now I believe that many of us go through illness or even hardship to receive more than just healing. When I have had physical ailments (a couple quite scary), I have easily gone to my knees because there's no where else to go, no one else to trust, no one else who loves me like the Lord does. Not the doctors, not the nurses, not the family... no one. He not only provides healing sometimes, but many times He gives us wisdom, empathy, trust, increase in faith, compassion, and inner peace when we might never have experienced those things on such a level had we not experienced the illness/surgury/speculation on diagnosis/possible death/fear/recovery, etc. in the first place.
I'll share a story with you, it's my own miracle. Some of you will probably think I'm a little off, but it doesn't matter because I got His message...
I few years back I had highly elevated liver enzymes. The gastroenterologist kept putting me through tests and they kept coming back negative. He finally told me that although all the tests weren't back, he thought I had a degenerative liver. I was really scared because I felt that it would mean a liver transplant, and then death. I really believed I would die. And I had a wonderful husband and a young son. It seems so unfair. So I spent a whole day, crying, and praying, and asking God why. For such a happy, trusting, optimistic Christian, I was really pitiful, crying and feeling devastated. So I took some towels up to the office to fold in the back of the house so my son wouldn't hear me crying. I never folded towels there. And while I was folding and crying, I happened to look out the window, and saw a small boy playing on my son's wooden swing/fort, in 30 degree weather. To make a long story short, I was finally able to help this little three year old boy find his home, three streets over, and the mother was hysterical and neighbors had been searching for 25 minutes. As I was trekking through the snow on my way home (crying and towels long forgotten), I marveled at how strange it was that I had been in that office, at that time, and saw a small boy, very lost. I realized that he could have gone to the front of my house, across the street into the acres and acres of woods, and the consequences could have been deadly.
Just then, I heard these thoughts in my head, "I have given you a distraction. Now instead of worrying about something that may never happen, just be grateful for the blessings I have given to you." I actually stopped walking. Did I think that or was God talking to me?? Talking directly to me? And I remembered the words, "I have given you a distraction." It was God using my thoughts - I was sure of it. I raced home, deleriously happy! I called my husband at work and told him I knew I would be fine, whether I lived or died, because God had spoken to me. I relayed all that had happened. Hubby said all the right words, but with hesitation and I knew he was wondering if his wife was off her rocker. But I didn't care, because I GOT THE MESSAGE! Turned out I had a "fatty liver" and with dropping a few pounds, I was fine. Now maybe it was something different and God also healed my liver and that was a true miracle. And if that was the case, I'm grateful. But that didn't matter to me, because whether I lived or died, I got the message. I have since had a couple health problems, and I can honestly say that I have not worried about them. I've had the tests, and was not desperate for the results. Because I got the message. The Lord loves me, and I have to put all of my trust, all of my faith in Him. Sometimes it's not the healing that is miraculous. And even though I am sinner, unworthy of heaven, I am enormously grateful for the grace given to me, and for all of my blessings, even the hardships, because... I got the message. God bless you all. ~kim