I Want A Boyfriend

emen...

I understand your desire to have a Godly person to share your time with, to have fun with, and to enjoy each other's company.. that's a very natural and commendable thing to want..

But honestly, right now you have so many other things to consider, things which are more important..

At 16, you need to be focused on your school, on looking towards your future.. very soon you will be making life decisions, choices which will affect your future for years to come..

I truly do understand your need for Christian fellowship, but don't be focused on a "boyfriend", but rather perhaps on a friend who may happen to be a boy.

There is a difference.

Become involved in your church activities, take opportunities to become engaged in your school functions., look for ways that you can minister to others, and - trust me on this one - when you least expect it, you will meet someone special.

You don't need to go searching for him, he will find you. You will meet him and not even know it at the time, but God will be at work - in both him and you.

When you have a few moments alone, read Genesis Chapter 24. God is faithful.

Dennis

dont rush to grow up, im not saying you are a child but please treasure your adolcence. the preasures of adulthood will be along soon enough. when i were your age i felt as though i could take on the world, you know do anything and be anyone, mentally, i dont think i was well enough equiped and i made some choices i still regret today. take your time, enjoy today with all its awkwardness and thank christ, it will pay dividends

It's so great you want fellowship - and God calls us to have fellowship. However, don't feel like you should have a boyfriend. Actively talk about God with church members - maybe in a youth group.

SHOULD I BE LOOKING? SHOULD I RELAX? WILL THIS PASS OR AM I JUST NUTTS!??

SOMEONE HELP!

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Don't be looking, but just relax and instead be looking for more life guidance in the Bible. (hehe there's always more! ) I hope it passes - that God shows you what you really need.

I know EXACTLY how you feel.
I used to feel the same way.

I would recommend... relax and let your life happen, see where life takes you and when the time is perfectly right, you will meet the person you are supposed to be with.
I know, I know, this advice is getting so worn out, but it's true!
I think sometimes we search so hard to find something that we end up missing it.

Also, remember the rule of the Universe. If there is something you want, all you need to do is believe you already have it, and it will be yours. (have you seen the movie The Secret?)

Love, peace and blessings!

emem56 said:

RIGHT NOW I AM SIXTEEN... AND I FEEL SO IN NEED FOR A BOYFRIEND, I JUST WANT A GUY THAT IS SO IN LOVE WITH CHRIST AND WANTS TO SHARE THAT DESIRE WITH ME... ALL THE GUYS AT MY SCHOOL ARE SO IMMATURE, AND I DON'T KNOW ...MAYBE I AM GOING THROUGH A STAGE OF DESPERATION... I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.. SHOULD I BE LOOKING? SHOULD I RELAX? WILL THIS PASS OR AM I JUST NUTTS!??

SOMEONE HELP!

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Firstly turn your caps lock off and stop shouting at me.
Secondly, strongly establish your relationship with God, then everything will fall into place.
Just because your friends have boyfriends doesn't mean you should have one.
A boyfriend can be a great distraction from your relationship with God; he can lead to problems you may not be able to handle yet.
Intimacy can lead to unwanted emotional pressure, that can lead to greater problems.
Wait until God brings a young man across your path and confirms it.

The best thing to do, is follow your own heart with God.

Many "boys" will come and go in your life. You're young, no need to rush so fast in a relationship. Have you thought at maybe volunteering somewhere locally to help others out in Christ?


Be careful, the Enemy uses the flesh to weaken the strong Lambs that follow God.


It once happened to me, put the Lord first and your education.


God Bless.

Hey. I'm a newbie (obviously)... I really appreciate this blog.. anyway, I really know where you're coming from. It's been 5 yrs since I truly gave my life to the Lord and I've been able to remain single and refuse temptation through this time. I relate to what you're saying because when there are NO guys trying to date me, I am fine as can be. But when I start meeting wrong guys, I pray alot more for God to send my future husband immediately so I don't have to be tortured by the wrong guys.... I don't know if that's how you feel, but I can relate in this way...

Anyway, Psalm 37 has helped me alot. It's deeper than one reading can provide.

PS -- I think it's great that you are humble enough to seek advice on this... and when you hear people say you're young (i'm in my 30's), please try to have a big picture of things, as in seeing ahead of today, your current peers, your current problems. If you prayerfully search God's heart, you can get glimpses of His perspective on things, and I trust that His perspective will tell you, "This too will pass".

Wanting a B/F who's on fire for the Lord is not bad, but wanting a B/F who's on fire for the Lord because you're tired of others doesn't really give you a chance to enjoy the unique ways that "a Christian boyfriend" can be more than just that label. You do want more than a label, right?

emem56 said:

i understand it is just it gets hard sometimes, because i have that "i want it now" feeling, and i know that it is my flesh

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I know it's hard. The ways of the flesh can be very scheming and pull people away.

The "I want it now" feeling is our inner selfishness, so that is when you have to ask yourself-"How is this serving God?"

I am reading a good book called, The Quest for Character by John Macarthur. I suggest possibly looking into the book. It teaches you so many things, and the "I want it now" feeling will get conquered.


Remember Satan waits like a prowling lion in a hunt and waits to attack his prey in their weakness.....always remain on Guard!


One day you will be reunited with the Man of your dreams, but it's only in God's timing. Just for now...seek everyday how you can serve Christ.


God Bless.

just pray for God to send u the right person. He may send him to u 2morrow, in a week, a month, or several years. but its better to wait for the person God wants u to be with than to hurry and find someone who doesnt really love u.

emem56 said:

RIGHT NOW I AM SIXTEEN... AND I FEEL SO IN NEED FOR A BOYFRIEND, I JUST WANT A GUY THAT IS SO IN LOVE WITH CHRIST AND WANTS TO SHARE THAT DESIRE WITH ME... ALL THE GUYS AT MY SCHOOL ARE SO IMMATURE, AND I DON'T KNOW ...MAYBE I AM GOING THROUGH A STAGE OF DESPERATION... I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.. SHOULD I BE LOOKING? SHOULD I RELAX? WILL THIS PASS OR AM I JUST NUTTS!??

SOMEONE HELP!

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Hi,
I understand how you feel! I used to feel like that too.

But I don't really feel like that anymore, because even though it's great to have a boyfriend, being single is also a gift! That's what I couldn't understand. There's a season for everything. In fact, now I see that if I had a boyfriend back then - when I really wanted one - I wouldn't have focused on God that much. During that time, I realized that God is the greatest treasure, and that until I'm happy being single I shouldn't have a boyfriend. It's kind of ironic and I don't know if it makes much sense, but because of this whole experience I feel closer to God and I feel like I could have a better relationship with a guy now.
And when the time is right, trust God that He would bring the right guy into your life, cause He knows what He's doing and is in control.


monica

emem56 said:

RIGHT NOW I AM SIXTEEN... AND I FEEL SO IN NEED FOR A BOYFRIEND, I JUST WANT A GUY THAT IS SO IN LOVE WITH CHRIST AND WANTS TO SHARE THAT DESIRE WITH ME... ALL THE GUYS AT MY SCHOOL ARE SO IMMATURE, AND I DON'T KNOW ...MAYBE I AM GOING THROUGH A STAGE OF DESPERATION... I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.. SHOULD I BE LOOKING? SHOULD I RELAX? WILL THIS PASS OR AM I JUST NUTTS!??

SOMEONE HELP!

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well...its not a passing phase, though it is something youll learn to handle more over time. We all (well most of us) need that someone special in our lives. They are a blessing, sadly, most guys at your age ARE immature and arent really enterested in Jesus. You just have to be strong and focused on whats truely important to you, if you just cant find that special someone yet then you just have to settle within yourself that youll be ok till he comes along. But please...don't become desperate, for your sake, dont settle for some guy whos less than you truely deserve, which is the best by the way.
The teen years are so turbulent and your changing and learning so much, hard times for sure...but be assured, youll be a very diffrent person than you are now, say 2 or 3 years from now because we change and grow so much during these years. These troubles and struggles within teach us what people can't.
If your patient and live right that right guy will come along when the time is right, so be happy, there are lots of things we would like to have...but if we cant, we can make the best of it and find other things to occupy us to be happy about...or we can stay depressed and hate the situation and be unhappy all the time.
Its just something you have to go through unless you want to become a used car who gets hurt and abused instead of just waiting on the right one.
take care, hell show up one day when the times right.

but also... the old very often say that youth is wasted on the young. you are in carefree years where you can do pretty much do what you want to and are truely free...in 5 or 6 years this will all change, you wont have this freedom or free time anymore and mistakes and less than good choices can really hurt you. So please, dont waste these last precious years on having to have some guy or your not happy...
the day will come when you dont even have time to hang out with friends or they wont be able to hang out with you becuase youll have tons of bills and have to take care of yourself. Have fun, be happy...dont waste these last easy carefree years "needing" a man in your life to be happy. That "man" wont always be flowers and peaches, hell bring new problems and things youll have to deal with too, while your still so young, have all the fun you can dont become dependent on having a man when that wont always make you happy anyway.