A couple of things:
About the communion of Copts (I didn't say communion
with Copts, because I think it only goes one way in America) thing, my priest explained it in a way that hasn't been brought up here. I should qualify by saying that around here it seems to be more of Greek churches communing Ethiopians than Antiochians communing Copts, but it's the same situation, I think. Anyway, there are different levels of distance from the Orthodox Church, as can be seen in the different reception of converts. Like, former Jews are baptized, former Protestants are usually chrismated, and in certain circumstances, I'm thinking St. Alexis, and I think it used to be for former ROCOR, and I'm sure in other situations I'm not familiar with, people can be received by confession and communion. He said the Greek priests he knows who are communing Ethiopians are doing so after confession, and likens it to the latter situation. So, believe it or don't believe it, but that's my priest's take.
Regarding the OCA headcovering/fasting thing, I'm kind of bowled over by it. Not that I wasn't aware that there are bare heads and lax fasters in the OCA; I've been OCA, have been known to bare my head
and am not going to win any fasting awards. But I've also been the same bare-headed, dairy-slipping me in the Antiochian and Bulgarian jurisdictions in America, and don't seem to stick out there either. In fact, the OCA tends to have a reputation as being more head-covery and such than some other American jurisdictions (note the several threads that have occurred where Antiochian beards and Greek pews were derided).
But I'm mostly taken aback by the fact that anyone places so much importance on what others do or don't do to their hair that he's willing to be out of communion with the Church over it. I mean, really. It's one thing to say, "I don't like Greek food, I think I'll find another canonical Orthodox parish in my city." I will readily admit to being almost as shallow, since I stated just yesterday that we will likely go to the ROCOR church in our new city solely because I hate the Antiochian music. But I would never, ever go to a schismatic church because I preferred the music, or the food, or the hats (see how silly that last one sounded?). I don't like the music at my current (Antiochian) parish. And I can take headcoverings or leave them, although I would prefer if some of our teenagers dressed a little less like they just came in from a night of clubbing. But these are not things to break communion with the Orthodox Church over, and that
is what you're talking about doing.