He doesn't want me anymore.

airest said:

The comments were pictures of roses, and post saying showing you love...hugs and kisses.

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This raises huge red flags. You said that was a comment HE left for some woman? That's not the kind of comment that a friend leaves, that indicates something much more going on. Nothing sexual may have occurred yet, but there is definitely something emotional if he's leaving roses, hugs, and kisses, even if they are just cyber ones.

One of the things that led me to realize my husband was still having an affair was his emails. He had checked his Yahoo email on my laptop and forgot to sign out. I went to check my Yahoo groups and noticed that it was still signed in as him. Curiosity got the best of me, and I went through his email account, including the sent emails. The messages he was sending to the other woman were similar to that one your husband left.

You must confront him about this. Perhaps talk to your pastor, or find a good Christian counselor who can help with this, but an emotional relationship with another woman is just as damaging as a sexual affair, maybe even more so. Sometimes I think that if it's just sex it's easier to forgive, but once emotions get involved there is a deeper betrayal.

Blessings and love,
Shell

I would say don't look at this as your fault at all. He is the one who has a problem. This must be his weakness & satan is using it to his full advantage.

Have you confronted him about this?? I would definately talk to him & tell him this is very inappropriate & you want him to stop. Tell him you need to work on problems within your marriage & not to go outside if he is unhappy. I would suggest counseling. A good book you could get for him is "every man's battle", if he would read it, it would open his eyes to what he is doing is wrong. Ari

If he hasn't complained that you're doing something wrong or not doing something that he needs, how could this be your fault. You can't be expected to meet needs that he hasn't vocalized. It isn't your fault at all. You do need to talk to him though. do not cry, do not yell, just ask him calmly what the attraction to the other women is and why. Find out if they've met, etc. Don't let yourself raise your voice and call him on it if he raises his. You need to get EVERYTHING out in the open.

MikeK said:

If he hasn't complained that you're doing something wrong or not doing something that he needs, how could this be your fault. You can't be expected to meet needs that he hasn't vocalized. It isn't your fault at all. You do need to talk to him though. do not cry, do not yell, just ask him calmly what the attraction to the other women is and why. Find out if they've met, etc. Don't let yourself raise your voice and call him on it if he raises his. You need to get EVERYTHING out in the open.

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I think this ^ is a good suggestion.

airest said:

o.k. guys, I confronted him and he said he understood where I was coming from. He admitted if I were doing the same thing he would probrably get upset and then he cancelled his myspace registration. I believe he has repented and did not intend to do any harm.

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I recently closed my myspace account because I was sick of the near-inappropriate content videos on the homepage that popped up every time i went to check my messages and girls sending me flirty invites to visit there pages and such. Myspace used to just be a place to keep in touch with friends and express yourself. Now it's just another inappropriate content trap website.

That's great, I'm happy that he realised the harm he was doing and stopped it.

So.... what are you two doing about your relationship? It sounds as though the myspace thing wasn't the only issue...

my husband and i both got rid of ours for the same reasons. it's just a huge trap.

to the OP - i'm glad that he got rid of it... but i agree with evangelina, it sounds like it's more than the myspace. make sure you're doing something about your relationship - not just saying that it's all ok because he cancelled that one account.

That's great that your husband did that for you.
If you haven't considered it yet, you might both benefit from couples counseling. Sometimes just talking about how you feel can help alot.

That is great that he cancelled his account. But I would still need to know what he was looking for in the first place. Why did he seek that contact on myspace? Keep talking, and I mean always. We can't ever take our relationships for granted. All satan wants is to divide husband and wife so work diligently at maintaining that communication with your husband.

airest said:

o.k. guys, I confronted him and he said he understood where I was coming from. He admitted if I were doing the same thing he would probrably get upset and then he cancelled his myspace registration. I believe he has repented and did not intend to do any harm.

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That is great news, glad things are heading back in the right direction.

Still I wouldn't just forget that there is a reason for his behavior... whether he's dealing with feeling older, or just a little stagnant... He made comments about your relationship that indicated he was feeling other than what he should.

I'd strongly suggest some friendly counciling with your pastor. It never hurts to strengthen even the best of marraiges. Maybe even a weekend Christian marraige seminar where just the two of you can get away and refocus on your lives together.

In the interum there is a really fun marraige seminar you can do online. I'll link it below. My husband and I have been together for 26 yrs and it was a blessing to us just because it brougth us more Biblical understanding about marraige and about eachother.

I'd still strongly encourage the counciling or seminar though.

Building a Godly Marraige
The marriage relationship has its origins in the Word of God, and only through Christ can the husband and wife truly learn to die to self, to sacrifice, and to obey His commands for this lifetime commitment. These eight tapes define the biblical elements of marriage, the distinct roles of husband and wife, and how to cope with conflict using Christian principles.

http://www.calvaryftl.org/AWMedia/Resources.cfm?fuseaction=archive.TopicalResourcesDetail&Series_ID=15

Hello,

First of all I want to say I am very pleased that you are both back on good ground with each other, truly, that is wonderful news.

I would like to highlight two main things. First of all, is that you have a trust issue, in that you went snooping around on his account to see what he was doing, when you should have asked him directly. I feel, if someone did this to me, it would hurt my feelings and only add fuel to the fire in terms of our trust issues. Second of all, there appears to be a communication issue, in that he was unaware of how you were feeling about these things.

I realise neither of these are easy to correct at the flick of a wrist. So please don't take them harshly, I just wish the very best for you both and I hope that by highlighting these things, you are aware of them, and can work on them together. Give a thing called Johari's Window a read. Maybe it will help.

All the best,
Digit