Dear Sweet Brother Troy,
commere and let me give you a cyber warmfuzzy
... and alot of prayers and blessings!
my name is dee. i'm a survivor of a broken marriage, a survivor of a very serious suicide attempt, and a survivor of a parent who succeeded in taking his life. all very traumatic. these subjects are imprinted on my heart. the Lord has given me many blessings out of these heart breaks. i'd like to bear your burdens with you. my heart is very big for you during this time. my first thoughts are for you in the mist of your broken marriage. the bonds of love are so tight around our hearts that the breaking of these bonds hurts so very deep and overwelms us with it's grief. the healing process is alot like the loss of one's life. when you grieve someone's life, or grieve a relationship, your heart needs time and tenderness to process all the feelings and changes. bless you dear brother. the healing process always starts with the pain of the exsperiance. and during your personal process of this grief, you will re-visit pain, regrett, guilt, resolution, confusion... but each part of these things searches for Christ and answers. in the mist of all of these things is healing. it's all a process that life throws at us. manage these things the best you can. lean on Christ's promises of Salvation, (salvation is the greatest healing above all), and continue to reach out to your brothers and sisters in Christ.
as a mom (and grandma), i can assure you that your daughter is 'choosing' her mom because being a young lady is important for her... to be with her mom and this other man has nothing to do with how much she loves and needs you. our children take turns with their parents. it's part of their growth process. she must need her mom right now. ofcourse she stills needs you though. during these times of parental attatchment, the child is very aware of the other parent. children, even adult children stay attatched to both of their parents. needs change. she needs you. her needs will constantly be changing in her personal growth process... she really needs you. scientifically the female child searches for her selfesteem in her father, and likewise the male child from his mom. but they look to the same sex to model.
i won't discribe what i did in my suicide attempt, but i will tell youi that i spent almost a month in the hospital, plus was locked up in a phyciatric ward for several more months. quite a miserable exsperiance. having your choices taken from you, the anger and hurt loved ones incure... the way people look at you. i wouldn't want to go through that again. i have been suicidal after that, but the Lord has always placed better options across my path... including the pain of whatever i'm going through.
pain is a process that sometimes we can't see through; but we can focus on what is praiseworthy in the form of hope. we hope and our brother and sister's hope with us. we are not alone. even if you haven't physical friends, you have your online friends. reach out to whatever better choice the Lord is providing for you.
about my dad in taking his own life. it took me years to understand that it wasn't my fault. i hurt so bad thinking i could have... should have... didn't do... and the hurt that i imagined he exsperianced comsumed me with so much pain. the emtional hurt devistated me.
the Lord will provide for your needs. you may not see that clearly sometimes in your healing process. that's when the word of God and your brothers and sister's can reassure you and love you. each time, each emotion, each realization will provide you with a piece of the process of healing. everything will work out. everything does for those who love the Lord.
another hug dear brother *HUG*... pm me anytime. love dee
